Dear readers,

Hello again! So, this is the last chapter I'm going to be posting for at least a month because my AS levels start in two weeks, and I definitely haven't revised enough and feel completely unprepared, and so I'm obviously going to be putting this away so that I can hopefully focus on work better than I am right now... My exams finish at the beginning of June, and I have a little bit of time before I go back to school, so hopefully I'll be able to get some writing done then. Anyway, I just want to thank all of you that have supported me in this story so far by reviewing, alerting, favouriting, and just reading. So, lastly, I just want to wish anyone else that is taking exams at any level at this time of year good luck, and I hope everything goes well for you!

Enjoy!
Sopphires.


"Find your authentic voice, become vulnerable, and then put yourself out there." ― Meredith Brooks


"If David kills me, I want you to avenge my death." Blaine snorted loudly, breaking down into giggles, as he fixed his microphone, and Billy, their technician, laid a hand upon the shoulder of the Freshman that he was training up with a solemn serious expression on his face that made the younger boy's eyes widen as his face became the picture of alarm.

"He's joking," assured Thad despite his smile as Nick and Jeff sniggered and Sebastian smirked at the Freshman – Blaine couldn't retain names at the moment, he was too nervous and hung over – in a manner that Blaine knew was highly disturbing, probably adding to his horrified expression.

"I am not!" exclaimed Billy in an offended voice, causing Jeff, Nick and Blaine to dissolve into silent hysterics at the look of terrified confusion on the boy's face whilst Sebastian rolled his eyes and snorted loudly, attempting to swallow his laughter so that he could continue to freak out the younger student with his smirk.

"Billy, you can't say that!" cried Thad in dismay, shoving his friend lightly but unable to stop himself from breaking out into chuckles. Billy held up his hands, smile betraying him, and Blaine found himself smiling also at how much more assured and confident Thad looked immediately pre-performance. He reckoned that, given the way that he was eyeing Thad, Sebastian was thinking something similar. He could also just see the rest of the Warblers and New Directions, immediately out of the corner of his eye, eyeing them in suspicion, knowing that they were planning something given that they had just gotten set up.

"Whatever," he replied. "but, seriously, if he comes after me then I am pinning this firmly on him-" he jabbed his finger directly at Sebastian. "-and then you two-" he waggled his finger between Nick and Jeff. "-and then it gets kind of hard because you two-" he glared between Thad and Blaine accusingly. "-have the ultimate, kicked-puppy-dog expressions." Blaine found himself stuck somewhere between smirking evilly and beaming in delight at that statement whilst Thad looked mildly confused, as if he couldn't work out whether that was actually meant to be a compliment or not.

"Hey!" exclaimed Nick in offence, outrage taking over his features, and Billy grabbed the shoulder of his protégée and fled, presumably to start the music, whilst the New Directions turned to them and "shhed" them even though they were only mildly disturbing the boring health and safety talk.

A second later, as Blaine had suspected, the introduction to the song began to play through the speakers. The eyes of the other show choir participants flew over to them accusingly, and Blaine, Sebastian, Nick and Jeff grinned evilly as one whilst Thad shifted a little uncomfortably. A moment later, Sebastian threw the curtains open and burst forward, singing;

Well hell sees her shadow in my backseat

And her friends are standing right in front of me…

Blaine put a hand over his mouth, trying to stop himself from making a sound because all their microphones were on and it would completely ruin the song, especially as he knew that Sebastian was doing an awesome job of things out front. Self-consciously, Blaine straightened his suit because Sebastian was a tough act to follow on any occasion, but at the moment, Blaine felt absolutely crap – the loud music was making his head pound slightly, and he still felt sick, not to mention all the emotional upheaval from yesterday (and sort of this morning) that he knew that he wasn't over. Also, and he'd never really considered it until now, Kurt could be here! Finn had organised this, and Kurt was a great brother, so of course he'd come. Oh God, why had he never thought of that before? However, before he could anything about that, Nick had put his hands on his shoulders, shooting him an eager look whilst Jeff grinned in anticipation and Thad gave him the thumbs up: he was on. He could do this.

Got love for the people that have warned you

God love all your sentimental virtue

Blaine leapt through the curtains as he began to sing, pulling out his wide, show grin that he knew was so real and invigorating. He saw Sebastian move off to the side of the stage, clearing it for him, and that David's face had contorted due to the insubordination, Trent had face-palmed and Finn looked baffled, but it didn't concern him. Instead, he focused on exuding the upbeat energy that would get the crowd on his side as he strutted down the stage, bobbing along to the beat and letting his hands and arms direct themselves.

Eight balls with the takers that'll make you

Lay cards with the lovers that'll hate you

Blaine began to smile genuinely at the excited faces of the people in the audience. His eyes found David's family, who were sitting in the second row: Johnny was furiously waving his chubby hands at them, probably more at Sebastian, Katy beamed up at him, Richie stuck his tongue out and Cassie, standing on her father's lap, was making grasping motions with her hands at him, and Blaine wanted to go "naww", grin and wave back, but he had to keep in character so he just dropped a wink at Sebastian instead.

And you don't have to make a sound

They got what you need (what you need)

Blaine swaggered towards the front of the stage, putting a finger over his lips and smirking playfully at the crowd, and then angled himself towards the right so that he could slightly block Kurt out from his view – he was there, in the audience, sitting between his dad and Dave, and Blaine couldn't look him in the eye for fear of what might happen after that.

Like you say

He had to open his body back out in that direction as he moved to the right of the stage, but he just looked at Sebastian, pointing him and smiling just like Sebastian was doing back, as they joined voices for the chorus;

Oh my!

Feels just like I don't try

Looks so good I might die

All I know is everybody loves me

The two of them fell into step side by side, centre stage, with as close to identical show smirks – this song had to be performed with cocky, self-assured, arrogant smirks, there was just no other alternative – as was possible, both of them making it seem like they were meant to be there instead of hijacking the stage to liven the atmosphere up, which they did appear to be doing if the smiles and clapping was anything to go by. There were also quite a few disbelieving expressions, demanding to know if there were two people that were really singing this, but at least they were paying attention and engaging with them.

Get down, swaying to my own sound

Flashes in my face now

Sebastian and Blaine planted their feet firmly on the stage in complete synchronisation, swaying their hips along to the beat before turning to the left as they danced together, moving with complete ease and confidence, and Blaine felt himself begin to relax on stage, the anxiety dissipating from his chest because he could do this.

All I know is everybody loves me

Everybody loves me

Sebastian and Blaine nodded cockily to the crowd, telling them that they knew that they loved them, and then shot David, Trent and Finn winks with smirks. David scowled, shooting them killer looks, Trent rolled his eyes with a tired expression and Finn was just about beginning to crack a faint smile of, at least, exasperation.

Well I, play the music don't stop till I turn grey

Stars forever like John Sousa never fade…

Nick burst forth from behind the curtains with his huge, excited grin and practically bounced down stage whilst also dancing (sort of) as Sebastian and Blaine moved towards the back of the stage on the left and right respectively to let Nick have his moment. David had pressed his fingers to his temples with a very intense look on his face that spelt trouble, Trent had a hand covering his lower face, which led Blaine to suspect that he was smiling/laughing, but Finn had a resigned grin on his face which made it worth David's oncoming wrath.

'Cause you don't have to make a sound

When they got what you need

Make you say

Jeff slid out into plain view as he began to sing, his own version of a smirk on his face, finger on his lips as he sung and probably giving the crowd a rather beseeching look with semi-wide puppy-dog eyes that were pretty hard to resist, and at the end, he held his arms out to the side as Blaine, Sebastian and Nick moved back into the centre of the stage for the next chorus;

Oh my!

Feels just like I don't try

Looks so good I might die

All I know is everybody loves me…

Blaine and Sebastian filed into their positions in between Nick and Jeff with Jeff on the other side of Blaine and Nick on Sebastian's other side. The four of them moved in complete unison, all of them with identical expressions: knowing smirks, and Blaine found his eyes, despite his brain's urging otherwise, wandering over to Kurt. Kurt was sat back in his seat with his arms crossed and a distinctly unimpressed expression on his face that said he wholly disapproved of what they were doing, and Blaine found that he didn't find himself particularly moved by that – Kurt wasn't glaring at him in deep hatred, or just not looking at him at all, which was kind of a big improvement from yesterday, but he clearly wasn't pleased either, so the relief was kind of counteracted by the sobering, depressing reality that the sight of him could only serve to upset Kurt.

Everybody, everybody

Oh!

Sebastian somersaulted diagonally across the stage from left to right as Blaine sung, performing a side somersault and then a forward one to the cheers of the crowd.

Everybody, everybody

Jeff performed the same figure in the opposite diagonal; right to left, as Nick took the vocal line.

Don't need my health

Got my name and got my wealth

I stare at the sun just for kicks all by myself

Thad appeared through the curtains, looking incredibly scared and nervous, and out of the corner of his eyes, Blaine saw David lose it completely at their corruption of Thad, waving his arms in the air with bared teeth and a screwed up facial expression but thankfully not producing a sound.

I lose track of time

So I might be past my prime

Thad proceeded down the stage with a nervous grin on his face, not singing that loudly or with that much confidence which was probably not aided by the fact that he was biting down on his bottom lip at every chance he got, but he was on stage, singing solo, and that was kind of all that mattered – he was doing this well, and so the next time he got up on stage he would know that he could do this, and he'd be even better.

But I'm feeling oh so good

Yeah…

Thad didn't make it all the way to the front of the stage, but he was standing up straighter and smiling properly, exuding some actual confidence, and when the high note came, he graced up to it with complete ease and a grin.

Oh my!

Feels just like I don't try…

The five of them fell into formation; Sebastian in the middle, having spun in and given Thad a smile and wink, Thad on his left and Blaine on the right and then Nick and Jeff in their same places on the wings. Blaine could see Finn smiling along with Trent, nodding, whilst David had folded his arms and was glaring, but he didn't care about that right now. Instead, he was fighting to keep a smirk on his face so that he didn't start grinning because he was on stage with four of his best friends, singing away confidently, and they were totally awesome!

Everybody loves me

The five of them finished the song, striking overdramatic poses under the spotlights and freezing their faces into their best smirks. Blaine found himself fighting as hard as he possibly could to keep his expression the way that it was as the crowd burst into applause, giving them a standing ovation. Just about when Blaine was beginning think that he would burst, he got Sebastian's signal, and he gladly deflated, grinning, and wrapped his arms around his neighbours' shoulders, and they took a bow together.

"Now," muttered Sebastian in a low voice as soon as Billy's assistant had given them the thumbs up that said the headphones were off and the applause began to calm down. "I think the best policy would be to run." Blaine nodded at that, and the five of them broke apart and fled towards the gap in the curtains. Blaine could feel the laughter bubbling up inside of him, ginning widely, and the moment that they were safely off stage, they broke down into hysterics. Blaine slumped against Nick, doubling over in laughter, feeling his limbs begin to become slightly tired as he came down from the adrenaline rush. He could see Thad shaking slightly from pent up anxiety as he chuckled, Sebastian rubbing his upper arms from where he stood behind him laughing to himself, and he made his way over with a huge smile.

"You were brilliant!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms around his friend. "Absolutely brilliant!"

"I hardly did anything," protested Thad against his shoulder. "You- oww!" Blaine laughed as he pulled back and caught sight of Sebastian cuffing Thad around the back of the head to cut off him bringing himself down. Thad looked up at Sebastian with a glare that melted away completely into a blush and pleased smile as Sebastian wrapped his arms around Thad's waist from behind, giving him a hug that silently – somehow – told him how well Sebastian had thought he'd done, and how proud of him he was.

"Smythe!" roared the enraged council member, suddenly, breaking the calm atmosphere as he appeared from nowhere, charging towards Sebastian with a furious glare, Trent trailing behind him, lamely holding out a hand to try and restrain him. Blaine backed out of the way, shooting Nick and Jeff a glare as they backed behind him. Sebastian ducked down behind Thad, holding the smaller boy even tighter to him as a shield. Thad squirmed in his grip, unable to break free from Sebastian's strong arms, but David came up short, entire face screwed up in rage. "What the hell did you think you were doing?!" demanded David instead. "We have a strict running order, and that safety talk was important!"

"Oh lighten up," replied Sebastian, releasing his hold around Thad's waist but propping his elbow on his shoulder instead and casually leaning against him like he wasn't sheltering behind Thad, who had sighed and rolled his eyes, resigning himself to his fate as shield to his best friend. "your speech was putting everyone to sleep, and in case you hadn't noticed we're outside – this is where you're meant to be when a fire breaks out – and we didn't mess with your running order: everything is still running in the same order. Relax." David's jaw tensed in a manner that said he was not relaxing.

"And that," he continued, almost as if Sebastian hadn't spoken. "isn't even mentioning your insubordination!" Sebastian rolled his eyes heavily with a dismissive look on his face.

"Oh, please," replied Sebastian in a scathing voice. "what insubordination? Last time I checked, there were three people on the council, and two of them backed this."

"Yes, there are three of us on council, and yes we take executive decisions, but we run big decisions by the others in a vote, and in case you hadn't noticed, the final executive power lies with me. Why do you think I sit in the middle of the table?" There was a beat of silence in which Blaine bit down on the inside of his lip, fighting to keep the upward curve of his lips because David had just opened himself up to a rejoinder of some kind from Sebastian.

"Well, I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that sitting you in the middle was the only way for us to sustain the illusion of your control so as not to shatter your fragile state of mind in order that we may circumvent your pathetic attempts at leadership." There was another moment of silence in which David's scowl deepened about as far as it could get, his eyes narrowing and a look of pure murder taking his face even as Blaine snorted, suppressing a smile at that, and because the New Directions had filed up behind the Warblers with amused expressions on their faces, and Finn was at their head with a faint grin that said he approved of what they'd done, and didn't that just make Blaine's day?

"SMYTHE!" roared David, making to leap at Sebastian in anger, but Trent had jumped forward in time with Nick and Jeff, and together the three Warblers held their infuriated Warbler leader back.

"Excuse me!" exclaimed Finn, dashing forward and hurrying between David and Sebastian, holding out his arms in a cautionary gesture to keep them apart. "But we're kind of running behind schedule, and we're meant to be on stage so could you possibly, maybe, kill him later?" he asked in a mildly tentative voice, like he was just a tiny bit concerned that David might leap on him next, and Blaine had to admit that that wasn't a ridiculous fear given that David was properly close to losing his temper – if he hadn't already… David didn't rile up easily; in fact, Blaine reckoned he'd only seen it happen once or twice in several years of friendship, but that meant that he did know that when David's fuse blew, it blew.

"You're right," said David, pulling himself from Trent, Jeff and Nick's grip and straightening his blazer, fighting for an air of composure. He shot Sebastian a dark glare. "We need to be on stage, I'm sorry," he added, looking over at the New Directions with an apologetic expression that they all shrugged at.

"It's not like we haven't all wanted to do that to Sebastian at some point," joked Sam with a crooked smile, and Blaine laughed along with the others at that, David nodding in agreement and sending the offending boy a final glare that said, in no uncertain terms; 'I will deal with you later', to which Sebastian just smirked and inclined his head in a manner that said he was looking forward to it, and got an elbow to the stomach from Thad in response. Sebastian wheezed overdramatically and slumped against his best friend whilst the rest all laughed.

Everything went amazingly accordingly to plan from the moment they remounted the stage all together. They were getting standing ovation after standing ovation as their different soloists and groups filed onto stage one after the other, each transition so smooth and seamless that Blaine was surprised that David didn't start crying at the sight of perfect coordination and planning coming into fruition. He could see Mr Schue smiling from his place in the best seat in the house – directly front and centre – as he watched his students perform to their best. He could see Kurt smiling too from his seat, chatting occasionally to his dad, Carole, Dave and Dave's friends, and that made him smile just a little.

Blaine gave Marley a high five as she filed past him, having climbed off stage, and looked over at David to see who was going next. David turned slowly to the person standing next to Blaine. Thad blanched, his eyes widening in apparent horror, and Blaine reached over instantly to grab his friend's hand in assurance that said he was going to be okay. Sebastian stepped in closer, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him comfortingly, and Thad clutched Blaine's hand and leant into Sebastian, holding on but looking scared.

"Thad," intoned Sebastian as everyone else shuffled in closer and David waved Finn back onto the stage with a mouthed 'give us a sec' that Finn, glancing at Blaine once to get a nod that said things were going to be okay, obeyed, hurrying back onto the stage to hold up proceedings. "you don't have to do this, of course you don't, but didn't it feel good to perform earlier? It'll feel even better if you do a full solo, and think about how proud your parents are going to be when you…" Sebastian trailed off as Thad began to shake his head, and Blaine frowned heavily in confusion, eyes darting between David and Sebastian for answers they didn't have.

"My parents aren't here!" exclaimed Thad in a voice of high distress, pulling away from Sebastian and Blaine and burying his head in his hands. "I chickened out, alright? I didn't tell them about the concert!" There was a moment of silence in which Blaine sighed, closing his eyes and feeling a wave of failure roll over him – they all thought that Thad had taken one step forward, but it looked like he was taking two back: he was lying to them…

"Thad," said Sebastian, taking hold of Thad's wrist and pulling Thad's hands away from his face. "that doesn't matter. All that matters is that you make your decision for you – do you want to perform, or not?" There was a heavy moment of silence before Thad's hands curled into fists, jaw tensing, and he nodded. Blaine broke out into a small smile at the sign of strength and defiance, and Sebastian sent him a proud smile. "Alright, let's roll." Without further ado, he grabbed Thad's hand and towed him onto the stage. Blaine and the others dashed round in time to see Finn backing off the stage, Sebastian settling himself at the keyboard and Thad walking up the microphone, guitar slung around his neck and looking like he thought the audience were going to kill him.

Do you dream that the world will know your name?

So tell me your name

And do you care about all the little things or anything at all?

Thad began to sing in his very soft voice that had a slight quaver and tremor lurking in it into the microphone, strumming his guitar louder than he was singing, and Blaine bit down on his thumbnail, partially from nerves on Thad's behalf and partially to supress all his emotions and not run onto the stage and give Thad a hug because he sounded so vulnerable and frightened as he asked: do you know my name? Do you care about me?

I want to feel all the chemicals inside

I want to feel

I want to sunburn just to know that I'm alive

To know I'm alive

The piano was a quiet whisper when it came in; quieter than Blaine had ever heard Sebastian play, so as not to detract from Thad's singing, and Blaine found himself welling up, hand pressing over his mouth, and David wrapped an arm around his front to comfort him, because Blaine knew what he was saying: Thad had self-harmed – cut his own wrists open – just to know that he felt something; that he wasn't numb and dead inside.

Don't tell me if I'm dying 'cause I don't want to know

If I can't see the sun maybe I should go

Thad's voice began to rise in volume as he reached the chorus, and Blaine could tell that he was beginning to settle into the song because he'd realised that no one was going to leap onto him and attack him for singing, or boo him off of the stage and call him a terrible singer like he feared despite the fact that he clearly wasn't, and maybe he'd actually believe it.

Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon

Where everyone you know never leaves too soon

Blaine bit down on the inside of his lip, knowing that his eyes were still sparkling with tears, even as his smile grew at the sight of Thad's spine straightening and opening himself up to the audience, because he could hear the aching desperation in Thad's voice that said he was dreaming of the day when he could believe that everyone about him wouldn't leave him because that was now – why couldn't he see that?

Do you believe in the day that you were born

Tell me do you believe?

Do you know that every day's the first of the rest of your life?

Blaine swallowed heavily, forcing the lump down his throat and finding his smile growing a little bit because he didn't know exactly what Thad was thinking – obviously – but the last question seemed to definitely imply that Thad knew that every day was the start of the rest of his life; that Thad was looking forward to the rest of his life, not back onto everything that had happened, which was exactly what they needed.

Don't tell me if I'm dying 'cause I don't want to know

If I can't see the sun maybe I should go…

Blaine pressed his lips together tightly, nostrils flaring, in order to try and suppress the tears that were misting his vision from sliding down his face. He sniffed heavily and leant back into David's body slightly, letting himself be held tightly. He cast a quick look around him, seeing that David, Nick, Jeff and Trent's eyes were all tear-filled, Sebastian looked serious but soft with that expression that was a blend of dozens of different emotions that was for Thad and Thad only, and Thad's posture was resolute and his voice was strong.

This is to one last day in the shadows

And to know a brother's love

Blaine grinned a little at the idea that this was Thad's last day in the shadows; that he was throwing his hat into the soloist ring, and that he wasn't shrinking from that, and how, at the very end of the last line, he turned his head slightly towards Sebastian and got a wink and smile that made Blaine feel warm because they were family.

This is to New York city angels

And the rivers of our blood

Blaine felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Thad make eye contact with Kurt, winking at his "New York city angel", but smiled at the thumbs up Kurt gave him. It slid away, though, when he saw the smile fall from Thad's face and heard David retch. It took Blaine a second. Then he remembered the image that David had seen when he broke into Thad's room – Thad, hung from the ceiling, blood running down from his slit wrists in rivers

This is to all of us

To all of us

Thad's eyes turned first to Sebastian, and then Blaine felt his face light back up into a smile as Thad's eyes swept over to them, making eye contact with each of them in return, before they moved onto David's family – Lizzie and Johnny waved enthusiastically whilst the others smiled, Cassie reaching towards him – and then Kurt. Then Thad's met theirs again, and Blaine saw Nick and Jeff give him thumbs up whilst Blaine just smiled widely from where he was being held to David's chest.

Don't tell me if I'm dying 'cause I don't want to know…

Thad turned back to the front, and Blaine couldn't stop himself from beaming at the fact that Thad was clearing his eyes from the tears and carrying on in a voice that was so strong, soaring over his guitar accompaniment, which was louder too and had originally been louder than his voice, because he was amazing

Yeah you can tell me all your thoughts about the stars that fill polluted skies

And show me where you run to when no one's left to take your side

Don't tell me where the road ends 'cause I just don't want to know

No I don't want to know

Thad turned his head to his left, clearly attempting to make eye contact with Sebastian without severing the connection that he had made with the audience, which was achieved by Sebastian leaning as far forward as possible, and Blaine found himself beaming because he got what Thad was saying: I'll tell you my thoughts; I'll show you where I run to when no one's left to take my side; I don't want to know where this ends…He was letting going to let Sebastian in; let him save him...

Don't tell me if I'm dying

Don't tell me if I'm dying

Thad's voice died away poignantly at the end, and Blaine, along with everyone else, burst into rapturous applause, cheering loudly as Thad blushed bright scarlet, stepping away from the microphone and unhooking the guitar from round his neck. Blaine laughed loudly, still clapping, as Sebastian walked over, smiling and clapping, taking the guitar away, and made Thad bow. Thad shoved Sebastian away and then took another boy as they all kept cheering. Blaine could see that he was shaking whilst he laughed, but Sebastian was quick to hug him, rubbing his arm, and help him off the stage, and Blaine let out a cry of delight as Thad ran towards them and threw himself into their arms. Blaine caught him and held him tight, closing his eyes and holding him tight just to try and transmit how amazing he had been, and to drown out the completely unneeded thanks.

The next performances passed by in a grey blur because Thad was still shaking, and he needed their support and assurances to remind him how amazing he was to go that far. Then, suddenly, all the Warblers were crowded around him, and Blaine remembered the performance that he'd been shoving from his mind because he hadn't wanted to do. He swallowed and made his way onto the stage, taking his place at the front of the Warblers.

Well, he thought, as he avoided Kurt's eye contact and the harmonies started, it could be a lot worse...a lot...