This is Ian's first manic episode. I have NO idea what actually happened to Ian in Basic to cause it, so this is merely interpretation. My poor little gingerbread is having a rough time.
Part Forty-Five: Cracked
Basic Training is not what it's cracked up to be. It's a lot fucking tougher than I thought it would be. I am on the ground crawling through an obstacle course similar to the ones we've used in R.O.T.C. and all the men around me are so much better at this than I am.
My eyes land on Private Morrison. His biceps are massive. If he flexes he'll easily tear his sleeves. On his left bicep is a tattoo of a really bad ass dragon head. Morrison has brown eyes, and short chopped off brown hair. He's twenty-three.
"You're a little young. Are you sure you're eighteen?" He asks me on my first day. You're so fucking hot. I remember I couldn't stop staring at him, and I really wanted him to notice me. Private Morrison is now climbing through the course. I get a nice view of his ass. I stop mid way through and take it in.
"Gallagher, move your ass," shouts the instructor. "What the fuck are you staring at?"
I am glad he can't see me blushing. I finish the course and am forced to run it again for getting distracted. When I see Private Morrison take his shirt I stop in my tracks and watch him. It's as if he moves by magic. He looks like he was sculpted by angels.
"Gallagher," shouts the instructor.
I am forced to run the course again. I'm the very last person on it. I catch Private Morrison watching me. It makes me kick things into gear to impress him. When I am done a bunch of guys cheer for me. The instructor makes me do pushups before I'm allowed to eat.
Morrison stands in front of me in the line in the mess hall. I check out his ass and breathe in his scent when I think no one is looking. My heart is pounding and other parts of me are throbbing. He is laughing with the man in front of him and accidentally backs into me. His ass touches my crotch and I take a step back.
"What the fuck?"
"Sorry," I squeak.
"Was that what I think it was?" Morrison asks me.
I feel the blood rushing to my face. I want to crawl under a rock and hide.
"I'm sorry," I say. I get my food and immediately walk away. But he follows me. He sits down across me and gives me a look that makes certain parts of my body respond.
"You've been looking at me since you got here. What's your problem?"
You're fucking hot.
"Nothing," I say reminiscent of my ex. Mickey denied everything too. But Morrison continues to stare at me. He has long eye lashes, the kind women would kill for and the kind that is giving me really dirty thoughts. I try not to stare too much. I came here to get away from a bad relationship, not get into another.
What happens next takes me by surprise. He touches my hand and I look into his eyes. It's the same look Mickey had the first time we had sex. My body responds appropriately. Morrison winks.
"Meet me tonight after lights out," he says and the walks away.
All day long I can't focus on anything but Private Morrison. I imagine myself in his muscular arms and the feel of those eye lashes against my neck. I excuse myself to a bathroom to satisfy the hunger I feel in my body for him.
When it's time for me to meet up with him I debate on whether or not I should actually go. My heart is saying yes, and my dick is saying yes, but my brain is saying no. I've had a crush on Morrison since I got here.
I am not sure where he wants me to meet him. So I walk around. It's cold out here, but I don't mind. I get the feeling I'll be warming up in a minute. Suddenly a bag is thrown over my head and I am lifted by a pair of strong arms. They are carrying me somewhere as I try to fight back. Fear and panic wash over me. What's happening?
Finally, we stop. I am thrown down onto something sort of lumpy. He takes the bag off my head and I am looking into Morrison's face.
"What's going on?"
But he doesn't answer. He holds me down with one hand while he yanks my pants off with the other. The impressive strength he has in his arms is enough to keep me down. I can't get up at all. He has at least 100 pounds on me. Fighting back is hopeless.
I begin to panic. The whole room starts to spin and the colors blur together. I shut my eyes to keep from getting dizzy, but I can't. Suddenly I can see everything clearly. The room is filled with bright light and the brown in Morrison's eyes is even brighter. It's almost orange like.
I realize what is happening too late. I give Morrison a hard shove. He hits me. My pulse quickens and I know I have to react fast. I have to get him off me. I have to get away. This isn't good. With all the strength I can muster I punch, kick, and bite to get free. I make a break for the door. He grabs me by the leg and pulls me back down. I continue to fight him. Anger is boiling up in me and replacing my fear. I kick him in the face.
"Hold still," Morrison says. That's when others come. They're going to save me. But they hold me down. Morrison is laughing. His laugh sounds far away. I can barely register what's going on anymore.
"No," I say. "I don't want this."
"Oh, I think you do. I felt that fucking boner at lunch today."
I continue to fight him off. I punch one of the men in the throat and another I knee in the groin. I am invincible. I break free until Morrison hits me over the head…
…I come too in a strange room with sea green walls and a cold cement floor. A man with a cross on his sleeve is standing over me. He has the brightest eyes I have ever seen. He flashes me a smile.
"You okay?"
"Where am I?" I ask, taking in my surroundings. A hospital?
"You're in the medical ward. We don't have any of your medical records, Phillip."
Who's Phillip? Oh, I am. I used Lip's identity. I had almost forgotten.
"Yeah, I'm from a poor family. I didn't go to the doctor much," I say.
"No worries, just tell us what happened? Private Morrison said some men had pinned you down and were hurting you until he chased them off."
What? For some reason the sun shining in the room illuminated the nurse's face and it made everything glow. I get up and walk to the window. I want to soak in the rays of the sun.
"Phillip?" The nurse asks.
"Yeah?" I say.
"You didn't answer my question?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I got distracted. What were you asking?"
A/N: So…Thank you to whoever it was that broke bipolar disorder down to a science on Tumblr. I didn't want to rewrite this chapter, but I know now where I am taking Ian's bipolar disorder. I do apologize if any of this is inaccurate. I'm on the outside looking in, but I promise you I will get it right.
