Chris: Last time on Total Drama Action,

the campers had to detonate a spaceship (Really just a prop) in the middle of the campsite. There was friendship, there was insanity, there was drama, and there was....dancing. In the end, the campers sent the big guy Ed home because of him being the cause of Ted's sudden insanity.

And this week, we're bent on torturing these last four campers until their little teenager minds can't take it anymore! All that and more on this new episode of Total....Drama.....ACTION!

Chapter 52

Kung Fu Peoples

It was early morning, and the four bummed out campers sat eating what would be considered garbage at a prison.

"I think I found a screw in mine." Courtney muttered as she picked a screw out from the yellow gunk in front of her.

"Give me that." Ted said as he swiped it from her hands and ate it. As Ted chewed the small screw, Lindsay started eating into her serving as well.

"I can't believe Ed is off the show." Lindsay said eliminating the short silence.

"I know. The show feels like an empty stomach without him." Ted sighed. Right as Ted said this, Lindsay's eyes went wide as she put a forkful of the yellow mush in her mouth.

"I think there's a rock in mine..." Lindsay interupted. Ted strangely became interested and ran over. Then, Lindsay spit out a large, squirming, brown cockroach onto the table.

"AHHH!!!!" Both Ted and Lindsay screamed as they pointed randomly at the still alive cockroach. Both Courtney and Jenny looked at each and rolled their eyes. Ted then grabbed the cockroach and threw it against the wall, and then he fired a high concentration beam at it, and it blew the cockroach into six, green pieces.

"Okay.......it's gone....." Ted said as he breathed in and out. Chris then walked in, and cringed when he saw the dissasembled cockroach.

"Hello campers! Today, instead of your fabulous host torturing you, Chef Hatchet will be the one giving the orders." Chris announced, retaining his smile (And his appetite). Chef Hatchet then walked in wearing a camo shirt that you could've bought at a Halloween store.

"Okay you pink bellies, I want to see you at the beach at o'seven hundred, and be ready to work!" Chef Hatchet commanded. Everyone abid, except Ted, who stood with a grin.

"Really?....I'm sorry, but really?" Ted scoffed. Chef walked over with a smile, took out a hammer, and nailed him in the head with the silver tool.

"If any of you give me an arguement like that, you'll be much worse off!" Chef yelled. As Lindsay went to check on Ted's now even worse state, Jenny and Courtney looked away from each other and began their own process of thinking.

"Are you okay Teddy?" Lindsay asked as she checked Ted, who lay with a battered smile.

"Yes waiter I'd like steak sauce on my eggs...." Ted muttered groggily.

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At "o'seven hundred", the four campers stood on the beach and waited for Chef Hatchet's first order. As everyone stood, Chef Hatchet began drinking a bottles of water. Everyone was confused at first, and sat still.

But soon, everyone began hankering a drink in the sweltering sun. Ted glanced over at Jenny, who was fairing just as well as he was. Then, Lindsay began to walk over to Chef, when Ted stopped her and titled his head over to her.

"Don't go over there. He's trying to trick us." Ted whispered. Lindsay seemed to understand clearly, and she then stood with Ted once more.

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A few hours later, the sun was it's highest in the sky, and all of the campers now hankered for water.

"Don't.....give into.....temptation...." Ted whispered to Lindsay. Lindsay didn't reply, but instead began walking over. Ted's eyes then bulged.

"Lindsay what are you doing!" Ted whispered angrily.

"Sorry Teddy." Lindsay said disappointingly as she grabbed a bottle of water. Chef Hatchet then rose from his chair and frowned.

"That....was your first test. As you can see, you all passed.....except for the blonde, who will be pre-beta minus of the next test!" Chef scolded, to which Lindsay sunk her head sadly. Ted stood with a straight face, and then began trying to comfort Lindsay.

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A few hours later, the campers stood in the woods. Chef Hatchet then arrived with five long sticks, and a vacant bird's nest.

"Your next test, is the montage test." Chef stated. Chef, with all of his might, tossed the bird's nest into the top of a tree.

"Now.....go get it!" Chef yelled to Lindsay. Everyone watched Lindsay with nervous eyes as she walked over to the base of the large tree. Lindsay stared at the tree for about two minutes with a pondered look on her face.

"Take your time...." Chef Hatchet muttered. Lindsay then noticed the tree branches on the side. Lindsay then attempted to climb the tree branches to the top.

After getting up at least ten feet, the twig she grabbed onto snapped, and she fell down and onto the ground. Ted then ran over with a worried look on his face.

Then Courtney attempted it, and couldn't make it at least 5 feet when she slid down.

Then Jenny hit a log hanging off the side as she zoomed up.....

and Ted fell off right as he began....

"This is going to be a long day." Chef muttered in annoyed tone. Chef then threw the four sticks to the campers. Unfortunetly, one of them hit Lindsay in the head and knocked her over. Ted then sighed and slapped his face. Then, Chef began something that even today the campers call "Torture as you've never heard it"......

Chef Hatchet.....began singing.....

Let's get down to business,

to gain your chest hair.

Did they send me daughters?

When I asked for sons.

You're the saddest bunch I've ever met,

but you can bet before we're through,

Mister I'll make a man out of you.

Tranquel as a forest,

but a fire within.

Once you find your center,

you are sure to win.

You're a spineless, pail, pathetic lot.

And you haven't got a clue.

Some how I'll make a man out of you!

"I'm never ganna catch my breath!"

"Say goodbye to those who knew me."

"Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym."

"This guys got us scared to death!"

"Could this day get anymore gloomy?"

"Now I really wish that I knew how to swim!"

BE A MAN!

You must be swift as a coursing river.

BE A MAN!

With all the force of a great typhoon.

BE A MAN!

With all the strength of a raging fire,

mysterious as the dark side of the moon!

You're time is almost over,

and you've learned a thing.

It's not mere torture,

but the essentials to win!

If you can't take the heat, of the montage,

then walk the dock, go home, you're threw.

How could I make a man out you?

BE A MAN!

You must be swift as coursing river.

BE A MAN!

With all the strength of a great typhoon.

BE A MAN!

With all the strength of a raging fire,

mysterious as the dark side of the moon!

BE A MAN!

You must be swift as a coursing river.

"Oh my gosh she's doing it!"

BE A MAN!

With all the force of a great typhoon.

"You're almost there!"

BE A MAN!

With all the strength of a raging fire.

"You go girl!"

Mysterious as the dark side of THE MOON!

"Lindsay wins the second test!" Chef announced. Ted started jumping up and down, while Lindsay celebrated in the very top of the tree. Suddenly, Lindsay's weight gave in (Which is surprising, considering she looks as light as a twig), and she fell out of the tree once more...

....but Ted caught and Lindsay and laughed in the face of Chef.

"Hatchet, I think you can officially call us men ladies." Ted said with a confident grin.

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A/N: AH! Feels great to type this chapter. Like before, I enjoy typing this story, and hopefully you enjoy this chapter!

COMMENTS! I'M IN A DROUGHT OF COMMENTS AND I NEED E'M!