Ex Factor
'It could all be so simple'
"No one's home!" Ginger yelled after hearing a loud tapping noise on her door. Creeps usually followed them home after their performances, hoping to get a little extra out of it for themselves.
"It's the police. Open up." A male voice retorted from the other side of the door.
Ginger had heard this one before and she wasn't falling for it this time. "Yeah right." She rolled her eyes and turned the television volume up higher.
"What's going on?" I came into the living room looking at Ginger who was watching TV and reading a magazine even though someone was pounding on the door and she was inches from it.
"Some jerkoff's at the door pretending to be a cop because we enticed him so much at the show." Ginger snickered.
"You never know if they're real cops or not." I suggested.
"Would you want to asnwer if the police were out there wauiting for us? Absolutely not."
"Whatever. I'll just see who it is and give him a piece of my mind." I opened the door, prepared. "May I help you?"
'But you'd rather make it hard'
"Is this the residence of Miss Amy Parker?" My heart dropped as I realized that the were real cops and that they were telling me that my mother was looking for me. By law, I had to move back in with her.
"I was worried about you when you walked away from me and didn't come back." Mom admitted as I walked into the house. It was late. I knew it was. It just got to be too much handling everything sometimes. To make it worse, the only person you really talked to about shit was dead. Life was getting a good laugh at me now.
'Loving you is like a battle'
I grunted in reply. I wasn't expecting my mom to be here with my dad, but I wasn't getting my hopes up. It didn't mean anything. My dad being here didn't even mean that he would stay or he would be apart of my life again.
"Well, where have you been Alexandria?" My dad spoke up angrily.
"I could ask you the same thing. I'm an adult now. You have no right to jump on my back now. Neither of you." I dropped the purse I had with me and headed towards the kitchen for something to eat.
"Does she always act like this? No wonder why she's failing in school." He compained.
"Javier, don't start." Mom pressed. "I'll take care of it." I know you're worn out honey. Go on and sleep."
"Good job of taking control." Javier shot back, disgusted.
And they were back to arguing again. I was glad that my mom didn't give me a hard time like she usually does. I really just needed time to think.Sure, I'd run off for a few days, but I couldn't deal with their issues on top of mine. I really missed Jay and it killed.
"She's not picking up." Marco complained, referring to Alex.
"If my bff just died, I wouldn't be wanting to party either." I spoke up as Paige and Hazel walked by. "I guess that's my cue to leave, isn't it?" I asked looking for someone else to hang out with.
I didn't know half of the people sitting there, which normally wouldn't stop me from mingling, but I couldn't take my mind off of Mason. I wondered what he was doing, where he was.
'And we both end up with scars'
Taking out my phone, I sent him a quick text, telling him to meet me here so that we could go someplace. What was a party without someone to kick it with?
"Parties equal trouble." Craig complained as I dragged him into Jimmy's house.
"It so does not honey. Just be glad that Joey and Caitlin are taking care of Marisa for us. We need a break." I admitted.
"But what if something happens to her and we miss it? What if it's bad Manny? I feel guilty leaving her behind." Craig sighed.
"No worries tonight. Leave that stress out the door." I continued pulling him and heading to the kitchen for a drink. "Want one?"
'Tell me, who I have to be'
"No. I'm going to see if Marco is here." Craig walked off and I was relieved. I hated when he breathed down my back like that. I really wanted to go to this party alone, but when he heard that it was going to be at Jimmy's house, all of a sudden, Craig wanted to come with.
"Hey." Jimmy practically bumped into me holding empty beer bottles in his hands already. "I'm trying to keep the place looking clean ... you know."
"Yeah. So where's the girlfriend?" I wondered.
"Can't you see her over there? In the middle of the floor with all the guys crowding around her," He said jealously.
'To get some reciprocity see'
"Don't worry. We'll have some fun of our own." I offered, helping him carry some of the trash to the kitchen. "Any ideas?"
"I may have a few." Heather Sinclair popped up out of nowhere, splitting the two of us with her back away from Jimmy. "There's a drinking game going and then after ... we're all going to get together and do something special."
"We?" I interrupted.
"Yeah, 'the crew.' Me, Freezie, Jim, Marco, Craig, Paige, ... and even you ... if you want. It'll be fun." Heather gave me a winning smile with so much conviction that I knew something was up, but I just didn't trust the skank.
"It's good to see you eating something again." Mom commented as I played around in some shreaded wheats she handed me. I was eating all right. "You might want to get dressed."
"I have no plans for today. I think I'll just go back to sleep." I groaned. It was a Saturday morning and generally I had plans for the weekend, but today I just didn't feel like being ... even sitting at the table was taking so much energy out of me. Could I endure much more?
'No one loves you more than me'
"Alex, you can't give up your life because Jay died. You act like he was your entire life honey. What about your friends? That Michael was really nice." She persisted.
"He was my life mom. The best part of it at least. You know I actually hated him the last few days I had with him. I knew he was going to die and even with everything he put me through nothing and no one compares." I shook my head in disgust with myself.
'And no one ever will'
"What about Michael? I thought he was the best thing in your life." She shot back.
"Michael was a distraction from Jay. He's good ... but it's like having ice cream from Cold Stone and afterwards eating some from Wendy's. It's just not as good." I pointed out.
Why did I care so much? Why couldn't I just let him go? I felt so much remorse that it was overshadowing the pain. And regret never felt so bad.
"It's okay honey. You can cry. It's okay." Mom tried to hug me as I shoved her off.
"No."
"Good, Alex you're up." My father walked into the room as I gave mom a look.
'Is this just a silly game'
"You stayed the night Javier?"
"Of course. You're my only child and I don't want you to suffer." He answered. I looked to my mom for a response. She wasn't looking at me. Something was going on.
"Could I have a moment with my mom?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'll be ... outside I guess."
"What's going on mom? I've seen you give me that look before and something isn't right." I paused. "Did Javier find out about you--"
"No and I'm keeping it that way. But ... don't worry about us." She smiled. "That nice boy Marco called. He invited you over and I told him you would go see him tomorrow."
"Great."
"These games are so asinine." Manny complained as I nodded in agreement. A couple of drinks later, we were all a little buzzed and ready for anything. I still hadn't seen Fareeza yet. I tried to make it through the crowd to see her but she was too busy making a spectacle of herself.
This was just a faze. I was tired of arguing about it and being ignored. She needed to get over it. Why couldn't Fareeza just get depressed and mourn like everyone else? Why did she have to go all super shallow and hollow on me?
'That forces you to act this way'
"Ready?" Heather chimed in.
"Let's just get it over with." I mumbled as the games began. I looked down the other end to see what we were doing ... some stupid game from that lame ass movie Clueless that Fareeza made me watch. This was some bullshit.
"Time to see who can keep up." Heather walked up and down the line messing with people to get someone to drop the tiny square piece of paper so that they would end up kissing each other.
One mistake and--my thoughts were silenced by the fact that my lips were now against Manny's. What the hell?
'Forces you to scream my name'
I couldn't indulge in the moment, because then I'd get slack from Freezie, and if I pulled away, it would hurt Manny's feelings. So I did what any gentleman would do, I let her decide when and how it would end.
As our lips parted my eyes were glued to Manny. I was finally starting to see some truth in why people were questioning our friendship. Maybe something really was there, but I was just so blind...
"Wow. That was passionate." Heather smirked as other people who witnessed the kiss cheered. Manny looked at me, not panicked like I thought she would be, but eerily together and ... I saw a flicker of hope in her eyes.
'Then pretend that you can't stay'
"What the hell was that?" She asked me suddenly after noticing the crowd was growing and realizing our surrounding. "Can't you do it right Jimmy?"
"You're the one who let it go." I argued back.
"Heather's the one who tickled me."
"Please. I didn't do anything. You two have been wanting to kiss for a long ass time. Don't blame me ... but I think you two have got some explaining to do." She gave us both a triumphed look and continued partying. A sad-faced Craig and a steaming mad Fareeza stood in front of us.
'Tell me, who I have to be'
"She's right." Manny sighed. "See you around?" I nodded as she looked at me intensely. "We soo just got set-up." Manny whispered.
'To get some reciprocity'
Here I was again, back where I started. What a stupid law. If they knew how unfit my "mother" was, they wouldn't be sending me back here. And the baby ... damn that baby ... it would be due soon.
"Amy. Welcome home." Diane gave me a sly smile with Christian pacing and lingering in the background. Coward.
'See no one loves you more than me and no one ever will'
"When's the baby due?" I wondered, thinking of a way that I could get rid of it ... I still would prefer it to her any day.
"Now don't you worry about that sugar. What don't you go upstairs and unpack?" Diane gave me a fake smile in front of the cops.
"Thanks ... mom." I shuddered as I said it. A mother was supposed to be nurturing and encouraging, not a jealous, backstabbing bitch like mine was.
'No matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know'
As I walked up the steps, I began to see just how conniving Diane was. Not only did I not have a room anymore--it was now dedicated to the baby, but the guestroom had become an office. In simplest terms, there was no place for me to stay.
By the time I had realized it, the officers had disappeared. I was stuck here with no space to call my own.
'It ain't workin'
"What's wrong Amy? Looks like a cat got your tongue!" Diane exclaimed with an evil cackle. Why have me here at all if she was going to do this? "Don't look so sober. There's lot of floorspace here if you want a place to sleep." She sneered.
'It aint workin'
"Hmm ... I'd prefer sleeping with your husband." I snarled back as Christian held back a smile and Diane stomped off. "I didn't mean that," I said to him. "That part of my life is over."
'And when I try to walk away'
"Manny, please? What was that?" I asked in disgust.
"Craig, it was a stupid game that I didn't even want to play. I'm sorry. You should've been the one standing beside me." Manny pled methodically.
"Well, I wasn't. Something's going on with you. You want to be rid of me?" I urged.
"Just forgive me okay? It was nothing." Manny promised. I wasn't secure that she wasn't lying because her chopped black bangs stood in the way of her eyes. "I'm going to be Manny Manning remember?"
'You'd hurt yourself to make me stay'
She joked with a giggle, holding me close to her before giving me a passionate kiss. "I only want you." Manny whispered, wrapping her delicate hands around my neck and giving me another gentle encounter.
She had this power over me. Anything Manny would say to me, I would believe. Everything couldn't be roses all the time.
"I hope you know the only reason I'm here is because of my mom." Alex admitted. "And thanks for letting Sean be here." I nodded as I watched Blu U-turn out of the room. She was avoiding Sean who was staring down Ellie who was trying to pretend like she didn't notice and that she wasn't pregnant.
'This is crazy'
"How can I complain when someone finally got you to go somewhere? I thought you dissolved into outerspace or something." I responded as Sean kept avoiding my gaze.
"On a serious note, can I talk to you alone?" She asked. I didn't want to leave Ellie there with Sean and she was giving me a look that reflected my own feelings about it, but Alex needed my help too.
I heard their voices immediately after, but tried to ignore it.
'This is crazy'
"Sure." I paused as Ellie and Sean disappeared into the kitchen. "What's up?"
"Something is going on with my parents ... something weird."
"Parents as in--"
"My mom and dad should be together. They are like the better version of me and Jay, if that would have existed. I don't want them to have regrets like I did and I won't live without both of them in my life." Alex finished convincingly.
Here she was unfolding all this baggage onto me and I had no idea that any of this was going on.
"Why are you telling me this now?" I thought out loud, but it was not how I wanted her to hear it.
"They love each other. I see it. They think they're so good at flirting with each other around me, covering it up with digs, but I can see it." Alex paused. "Right now Marco, this is the only thing I want."
"You can't force love." I sighed glancing at Blu. Her and Spinner made my skin crawl.
"I know Dr. Phil. Just give me the abbreviated version." Alex rolled her eyes, exhibiting some of the sass that she was known for.
"Make them see what you see."
"I want answers. Do you want her?" Fareeza asked angrily.
'I keep letting you back in'
"Where do you get off questioning me Freezie? This is the first time you've really talked to me the entire night." I argued back, disgusted. I hadn't even had time to process what just happened and already I was being judged.
"Just tell me if you do. I've dealt with this before." She sighed, showing the first signs of humanness I had seen out of her all night.
"You brushed it off." I responded. "You control this relationship Freezie. You always have and if you think I'm to blame there's nothing I can do, but just know that I'm willing to ... stay together." I declared.
"I'm just so confused right now." Fareeza tossed her fresh, blonde hair over her shoulder. "Graduation is coming up soon and maybe--"
"Don't give me that excuse. Either you want us or you don't."
"We have a lot to talk about." She answered, giving my hand a short squeeze before Heather butted in and took her back to 'party.' So much for that talk.
"Amy, why so bitter?" Christian wondered. One week. I had lasted one week without touching him or even encountering him. He made it so hard, always lurching around, admiring me, being nice to me ... it was really sexy.
'How can I explain myself'
But he wasn't. "Don't you have a job to go do?"
"I work at home now ... you know, for the baby's sake." He shrugged.
"Can you handle a kid?"
"We'll find out." He replied.
"I'm just surprised Diane let some 'protrusion' throw her stomach out of proportion." I joked. "Major plastic surgery afterwards."
"You're mad about the baby still?" Christian looked at me concerned.
'As painful as this thing has been'
"Oh please. You should really be an actor." I scrunched up my nose at him. "I'm not going to go spewing me feelings to you so I can be vulnerable and we can end up in bed together. No way."
"But you're so beautiful." He caressed my face.
"I'm not falling for that again. Look all you want but ..." My voice trailed off as he touched me, not physically but just the way he was looking at me.
'I just cant be with no one else'
I was helpless. I was still the same naive girl that thought she was in love. I just wanted someone to love me so bad.
"Alex isn't going to be happy to see these." I told Javier who still wouldn't look at me.
'See I know what we got to do'
"I'm not apologizing. You gave me these years ago, but I refused to sign them. I signed them today. It's okay." I reasoned as he just shrugged. "Talk to me." I pressed as I left the papers and we went outside to talk.
"I don't get sappy and do the whole first love thing, but our daughter needs us. Now is not the time--"
'You let go and I'll let go too'
"Divorce papers? How could you? You tried to keep it from me." Alex chocked back a tear. They were on the counter mom!"
"You weren't supposed to find out like this. Javier and I--" Alex cut me off.
"Why? You love him don't you? I can see it mom."
"It doesn't matter Lexi. Javier has his own life. I have my own life." She answered, keeping her voice low.
"Just do one thing for me then ... just one thing... go out with him. Just you two." Alex begged looking from me to Javier and back.
"I love you Christian." Amy whispered as we lay in tossled sheets, soiled by our fornication ... our boundless lust for each other.
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you'
"Don't spoil it Amy." I turned away from her, taking a hit of coke. It would clear my mind.
"I won't let you have her. I can't. Tell me you don't love me." Amy begged like a defenseless child.
"This is not some little Dawson's Creek juvenile thing. This is serious Amy. Too serious for a married man. We're having fun sweetie. Lighten up." I answered, pulling at her seductively. "Come here." I coaxed,pulling Amy closer to me.
'And no one ever will'
With her there were no wrongs and rights. I didn't love Amy at all, but I just wanted her. I couldn't stand the thought of anyone else having her, but me which was why I put an end to her and Alex. That lesbian thing.
And then there was the thought of men paying little of nothing to see her gorgeous body. That body belonged to me. I made sure that law enforcement brought back what was stolen from me. Amy.
(A/N: I already wrote the next two chapters so just one more to go. Make sure to review. Let me know if you want to know who these songs are by too!! --NL)
