Chapter 45

Kat's POV

She needed to check on her family. There had been a lot of gunfire –hopefully no body was shot or dead. She would worry about Daryl later –the man didn't deserve her attention right now. Coming in and saving her –she couldn't depend on him. What would happen next time? A time he isn't there. It had been made clear to her that he was not as dependable as she had once thought.

Waiting for them to open the gate she quickly scanned every face standing in front of her. Maggie, Glen, Hershel, Carl, Carol, Beth, Tyreese, Sasha, and Michonne were all there. Looking past Ty she saw a body on the ground –it was apparent it was Axel. It was a shame, she liked the guy. She hated to admit it but she was glad it was him and not someone she had known for a long time. She liked him but she hadn't considered him family yet. It might seem cold but Kat would have traded his life for the life of anyone in her family.

Walking past everyone she ignored any questions they asked. She mainly ignored the fact that Daryl and Merle were behind her –she had a mission. Walking into the cellblock she heard Judith crying. Picking up her pace she grabbed a towel and started to wipe the blood, sweat, and dirt off of her hands. Then she saw the little red faced baby and Kat smiled at her.

Despite everything that had just happened, she was content when she saw the little girl. "Hey baby girl, I know that was scary huh?" she picked her up "I bet you need a diaper change." She cradled Judith in her arms and made her way to the bed. Setting down the crying baby she grabbed a diaper –they were running low. She would need to make a run -or more than likely she would have to improvise some kind of cloth diaper. Runs were probably out of the question for the time being. Until the Governor was dead. Once the baby had a clean diaper on she heard the rest of the group coming inside.

The loudest being Merle. Glen was not happy that he was there but he was being overruled by Rick and Hershel. She was debating on going out there when Rick started to call her name. Sighing she looked down at Judith "I guess we are being summoned."

Carrying Judith close to her chest she went toward where the formula was. It should be dinner time for her soon. Rick didn't ask her anything or talk to her. So she guessed he was calling her just because he wanted her present for whatever they were going to talk about.

She refused to look at the two idiot brothers. Instead she watched Judy drink enthusiastically at her bottle. "You're a lil pig. Aren't you?" she used to talk to Cora when she was a baby and Kat guessed it was a habit that didn't die.

She was forced to look up when people started to yell –looking up she saw that Merle was in the center of the argument.

"Hey!" she yelled, grabbing the attention of everyone "Judith is trying to nap. So keep it the fuck down."

She walked back into the cell block where Judith had a box to sleep in. They were going to have to find a crib or a playpen –something other than a cardboard box. Tucking in the youngest member she gave her a quick kiss then walked back out. She was surprised to see everyone in the block with her and Merle was on the outside of the gate –by himself.

She shrugged and started to walk back to her room. She paused when she noticed the door to the guard tower was open.

"Get the hell out" she growled at the man who was in her room.

"Where's my stuff?" Daryl asked her.

She walked past him and got in front of him. Taking steps forward and pushing him to take steps back until he was at the door. When he crossed the threshold she slammed the door in his face.

He started to bang on it but she had it locked and, for now, he didn't have a key.

"Kat open this door I swear to God I'll kick it in." she knew he would and she didn't want to have to fix her door.

"What?" she asked jerking the door open. His fist was raised about to pound on the door again.

"Where is my stuff?" he asked her again.

She guessed he at least deserved an explanation "It's in the courtyard." She started to close the door again. Then she re-opened it and said "It might smell like gasoline"

"Why the hell would my stuff smell like gas?" he narrowed his eyes on her.

She was not going to be intimidated by his glare so she shrugged "I was going to burn it." Then she closed the door in his face again.

Daryl's POV

He wasn't sure how long he had stood staring at the door that had been slammed in his face a second time. He was aware that people were watching him but he was more concerned with how Kat was acting.

He got that she was angry but she was being cold. Not even showing an inch of happiness that he was back. It was like she didn't care. He had only been away from the group about a day and she was quick to write him off. Hell she was going to burn all of his stuff.

Walking down the stairs, he figured he would give Kat some space. She had been through a lot and was probably just overwhelmed.

"Man, little brother you done pissed her off good." Merle said from behind the bars. "I ain't never seen Kaitlyn act like that."

Neither had Daryl. Her emotions were always in check but like he said she had been through a lot.

"I gotta ask man –that baby it's not yours is it?" Daryl stared at Merle confusion clear on his face. Then Daryl realized what his brother was asking.

"No man. It's Rick's kid." He told his brother. Daryl couldn't help but notice how Merle seemed a little disappointed. It was only a brief second but Daryl knew Merle, and he saw the quick flash on his face –the flash which showed he had a little hope he might be an uncle.

Thinking on it, Daryl had never thought about having a kid. He wasn't the fatherly type and he honestly knew nothing about raising a kid. Coming from his fucked up background, he was more worried about messing up any kid he might have.

Looking back up to the guard tower, the one he was now locked out of, he thought about what it would be like to have a kid with Kat. She was a great mother –a natural. It wouldn't be fair of him to make a 'No Kid' rule when he didn't even know what she wanted. If he was going to have an offspring he would want it to be with Kat. Her good would balance out any of his bad genes. The more he thought the more he liked the idea of watching her belly grow with proof of their love for each other.

Shaking his head he had to remind himself that Kat wasn't exactly talking to him and children were the last thing they needed to be thinking about right now.

He heard the door to the tower open and Kat walked outside –she had a look of determination on her face. Noticing that she had both knives, crossbow pistol, and there was a lump under her shirt that suggested a gun he knew she was up to something. She had completely ignored him and walked right up to Rick.

He knew he said she needed space but he didn't like the look on her face. She was planning something stupid and he was damned if he was going to let her.

Kat's POV

"Rick, I'm going to take a gun. I shot up the Governor's car pretty good and I don't think that it would've made it far. He might be on foot and I think I can catch up and try to end this now." She had hoped for no argument from the man. She wasn't exactly asking but she knew Rick needed to know. That was the only reason she hadn't just left without telling anyone.

"I don't think that's a good idea. We don't know –maybe he had more cars around the perimeter and he just switched to another one. I can't risk you going out there alone." She noticed Rick look behind her and she knew that someone was coming toward them. She didn't want to turn around and see if her suspicions of who were correct.

She didn't have to turn around Daryl's voice growled from behind her "Where the hell do you think you're goin?"

Closing her eyes and trying to take a deep calming breath didn't work. She tried, she really did, but her anger had been on the edge of her sleeve since Rick had returned without Daryl.

Spinning on him she shoved her finger into his chest "Wherever the hell I want. Last I checked Daryl Dixon you lost any say in what I do when you decided to move out. That is what you did –you just up and left. So unless you want to give me a damn good reason why you did you can. Fuck. Off."

Her breathing had increased and she tried to do the deep calming breath thing again.

One.

Two.

Three.

They were still not helping, mainly because the person she was most pissed at was still glaring at her like she was in the wrong. So she decided to turn back to Rick –the man looked more than uncomfortable. "Listen Rick, I wasn't really asking you. I'm going and I'm going alone."

She turned to leave and was met with Daryl's chest blocking her way. She moved to step around him and he moved to stand in front of her again. This had gone on for a good minute and it probably looked comedic to anyone else but she had had enough. She pulled her hand back and she slapped him across the face. He was caught off guard that was the only reason she could think of why she was able to push him to the ground.

When she went to step over his legs he grabbed her leg and she fell down hard. Her hands barely able to catch herself.

Turning so that she was lying on her back "You son of a bitch" she screamed then kicked him. Hitting him in his rib –she felt sorry for a second when she saw the flash of pain on his face but she took her opportunity and jumped up. Walking quickly to the gate she had to look at Merle as she opened the door to get out of the cells.

"Not that I'm not impressed Kaitlyn but you know I can't let you go out there." Merles voice sounded a little rougher than she remembered but it wasn't the time to reminisce with someone she once loved like a brother.

"Don't you fucking talk to me. I know what you did to Glen, you are just as dead to me now as you were when I thought you were last week. I want nothing to do with you. I'm just glad Cora is dead so she wouldn't have to be disappointed with what you are."

"Damn woman you gotta a sharp tongue." He looked hurt that she hadn't run into his arms and welcomed him home. What did he expect? He had become a monster from what she saw and heard. Hell he was the right hand man to the Governor.

"Kaitlyn, please…"

"That is not my fucking name! It's Kat or Katheryn." She had never told Merle her real name but he knew it wasn't Kaitlyn and in that moment him calling her that annoyed the hell out of her.

He held his hands –well hand up. "Alright. Forgive me. But you gotta think. What you're thinkin of doin right now is suicide. I'm sure he's got scouts on every road out of this place by now. I know how he thinks and what he does in situations like this. He wants y'all eradicated and you wouldn't get a mile away from here before you were dead."

"What do you know? How can I even trust you?"

"That truck through the fence thing, that's just him ringing the doorbell. We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the guns and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to. I know you don't much like me right now but darlin –I love ya. Just because you had a little hissy fit doesn't change that, you and Daryl are all the family I got. I won't let you get yourself killed. "

All she could do was glare at him and damn the man but he didn't flinch. She didn't care she had made up her mind. Walking around him she started toward the door that would lead her out to the courtyard.

"GET BACK HERE" someone yelled and it made her stop. Was that Daryl? Slowly turning her head she met him right in the eyes and he was pissed. What did he have to pissed about? Now wasn't the time for this shit, the longer she was in here the more likely the Governor was going to get away.

The only reason she was walking back toward him was because she saw something that caught her eye. She was standing in front of him and both were breathing heavy but neither were talking. Then she reached up and pulled, never breaking eye contact with him. The necklace he was wearing snapping off his neck –holding it in her hand she turned back around and walked out the door. Leaving Daryl Dixon behind her.

She had made it to the gate and she was trying to get the walkers to line up at the fence so she could kill them and be on her way. She had finally gotten the numbers of walkers down to manageable number that she could slip out and close the gate behind her. She was fully aware of the eyes that were watching her from behind.

She heard a sound, looking up and into the yard she saw someone swing a hatchet taking down a walker. Squinting her eyes she saw that it was Andrea, someone else who she thought was dead.

"Are you just going to stand there watching me or are you going to help me get her inside?" she said over her shoulder. It wasn't long before Rick and Daryl were alongside her looking at what she had spotted.

"Are you alone?" Rick shouted at Andrea. Kat rolled her eyes his shouting just bringing the attention of more walkers.

Andrea had some kind of walker leash. It was the only thing Kat could think to call it. She was leading a walker around by its neck and it seemed to keep the walkers that were in the yard away from her. Kat made note of this in case she was ever in a situation it might be useful.

Kat opened the gate and Rick pulled the woman who was once a part of the group inside the fence. Rick was not being gentle and Andrea seemed to be shocked by her treatment.

Really? Kat thought. This woman was sleeping with their enemy and she wanted a red carpet rolled out. Hell people used to blow themselves up before the apocalypse –for all we knew she had some kind of bomb attached to her.

Inside the prison it was decided that Andrea was not in fact a suicide bomber –that was a relief. Kat watched as Andrea reunited with everyone and all it did was annoy her. The woman didn't have the common sense to figure out that if a member of the group wasn't standing in front of her then they were dead. Nope, she just kept asking about people –Lori? T-Dog?

She couldn't deal with the pleasantries anymore so she spoke up stopping them "Is he back at Woodbury?"

Andrea looked at her "What?"

"Is your boyfriend back at Woodbury?"

"Yeah." She responded

Kat took the time to give another hate filled glare at Daryl. He had cost her a lot of time trying to stop her. Common sense told her that she wouldn't have caught up with him but it still pissed her off and Daryl deserved all her hate.

She forced herself to come back into the conversation. Rick was speaking ", we had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."

"He said you fired first."

"Well, he's lying. He killed an inmate who survived in here. We liked him. He was one of us."

"I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out." Andrea said to Glen and Maggie

"That was days ago."

"I told you, I came as soon as I could. What have you told them?" Andrea asked and set her eyes on Michonne.

"She didn't tell us anything. The fact that you 'came as soon as you could' tells me that you were either afraid to leave or you were being held there. Either way I don't like you. So don't turn your hurt feelings on Michonne." Kat said and she liked seeing the injured look Andrea's face held. Andrea was too close to this Governor and that made her dangerous –Kat should've left her outside the gate. Now she has the advantage of knowing how many people they have and where exactly they sleep in the prison.

"I left Atlanta with you people and now I'm the odd man out?"

"If it makes you feel any better I didn't really like you back in Atlanta" Kat said while shrugging and she heard Merle chuckle "You chose Andrea he almost killed Michonne, Daryl, Glen, and Maggie right under your nose and he would have killed us."

"With his finger on the trigger." Andrea pointed at Merle "Isn't he the one who kidnapped you? Who beat you? Look, I cannot excuse or explain what Philip has done. But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out." Kat couldn't argue about it being Merle's fault but right now the group couldn't look broken in front of Andrea.

"There's nothing to work out. We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will." Rick spoke up. Kat nodded at his words.

"We can settle this. There is room at Woodbury for all of you."

"You know better than that." Merle decided to speak up and Kat was glad it wasn't some comment meant to rile anyone up.

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Did he say that?" Hershel questioned

"No." Andrea responded and had the decency to look at the ground as she did

"Then why did you come here?"

"Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack."

"I'll tell you what. Next time you see Philip, you tell him I'm gonna take his other eye." Daryl spoke and Kat refused to acknowledge the shiver that went up her spine. He was clearly pissed and his voice had dropped down an octave –it reminded her of his bedroom voice. Stop that. We are still pissed at him.

"We've taken too much shit for too long. He wants a war? He's got one." Glen said and it was the first time she had seen the usually calm man so worked up.

"Rick. If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town. Look at you. You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

"We aren't alone. We have each other –our family. You might see as a pathetic group who has lost a lot but we are strong and I guarantee you that when he comes back we will be ready for him. You want to make this right, get us inside." Kat spoke as she was getting up from the wall she was leaning against.

"No."

"Then we got nothing to talk about." Rick said and walked out of the cellblock.

Kat was tempted to follow him but she decided that she needed some Judith time. Taking the gun that was still under her shirt off she placed it on the table near Carol. Then she made her way into the cell where Judith was awake and chewing on her hands.

"Does that taste yummy?" she asked the baby as she picked her up.

Of course the baby didn't respond but Kat kept talking to her "How is the pretty girl doing? Are you hungry? I don't think your hands are going to fill you up –let's get you something else to eat huh?"

Walking back into the room where she had left everyone she enjoyed the barely noticeable weight that she carried in her arms. She was used to making a bottle one-handed now –she didn't want to put Judith down so she had figured it out pretty quickly.

"Can I hold her?" Kat stiffened up at the sounds of Andrea's voice behind her.

"No"

"What happened to you Kat? When did you get so cold?"

Beth must have sensed that Kat was getting angry because, bless her heart, she was by her side and taking Judith from her arms. Kat allowed the friendly face to take the baby but she never looked away from Andrea. In fact she turned her head to the side and examined the woman who decided she could judge Kat.

"Cold? I'm not cold Andrea I'm practical. That baby is not going anywhere near you. You see- the way I see it, you are the cold one. You left Michonne to be with the Governor. You and her were together an awful long time –just the two of you trusting one another to survive then you go an abandoned her for some guy you just met." Kat knew what it felt like to be abandoned and she was going to use that angle.

She continued "Even now Andrea you were using the 'you've known me since Atlanta' and you are still taking the side of a man who tried to kill us. What do you want me to do? Give ya a hug? I will but I can't guarantee I won't stab you with my knife as I pull away. I'm cold because the Governor made me this way. This world did and I am done –with all of it."

Kat walked away from the idiot woman and grabbed Judith from Beth. Then her and baby Judy were making their way up to her guard tower. She needed to get away from people but she didn't want to be alone and Judith was the perfect company. Normally she would have asked Daryl but not anymore.

Merle's POV

He hesitantly knocked on the door. It was so soft he thought she might not have heard him –which wasn't like him at all. Normally he would've just walked right in and demand that she talk to him. To be honest she was scaring him –which was why he had been staring at this room for damn near an hour before he worked up the nerve to walk up the steps.

She pulled the door open and she was holding Rick's baby. She took one look at him and started to close the door again. He decided to be brave and stuck his boot in the doorway –stopping it from shutting.

She sighed but she walked away from the door –allowing him to come inside.

"Just try to keep your loud mouth down –she's sleeping." Kat whispered to him as she sat back on a single mattress on the floor.

"Motherhood still looks good on ya" he said and tried to be as quit as he knew how to be.

She just shrugged at his comment. He had always admired her –she was always so strong no matter what was going on, she was the one that kept it together.

"I'm sorry" It was maybe the third time in Merle Dixons life that he had said those words and meant it. She knew he didn't apologize to just anyone but she was someone who truly needed to hear it.

"For what?" she asked him

"Don't make me do it woman. I said the words ain't that enough?"

"If you want me to accept your apology I want to hear what exactly you're sorry about."

She wasn't going to let him off easy it seemed. He took in a deep breath and sat down on the floor next to her bed.

"I'm sorry for leaving y'all back in Atlanta. I was stupid and couldn't cope –you said Cora was going to die and I didn't want to believe it so I escaped to cocaine city. Did and said some mighty stupid shit and I was punished for it" he held what used to be his right hand up "I didn't want to leave you girls and Daryl but I was picked up by the Governor and his men. When I went back to the quarry no one was there. I searched for a while but I had no clue where y'all went so I had to give up the search. I never thought y'all were dead though." He watched as she laid Judith down on the mattress beside her. Then she scooted over to sit beside him against the wall.

"I never blamed you for leaving Merle –yeah it was stupid but I get it. Ya know Cora never thought you were dead." She reached for a bag and pulled out something and handed it to him.

It was a folded up piece of paper, it took him a while to unfold it one handed but once he managed he was looking at a drawing. He knew the artwork –he'd seen enough of it. It was Cora's and she had drawn her family. Kaityln, Daryl, Cora, and Merle were standing side by side and there were trees around them and the sun, sporting some shades, was shining.

He looked at it and he clenched his jaw. He knew that she was dead but seeing the picture made it too real. She had drawn this and the little girl included him in her family.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Kaitlyn –I mean Kat."

"You can call me Kaitlyn. I kinda missed it" She put her hand on his knee "I'm glad your back. I'm still pissed at what you did to Glen but I really did miss you Merle."

"Yeah not one of my finest moments. I'm sorry about that to." He looked over at Judith as she was starting to stir "She's a cute kid"

"Well most babies are" she said and patted his knee one last time before she got up and picked the baby up. "Wanna hold her?"

He didn't know how to answer that –He had legit only held one baby. That was when he was a kid and when his mom brought home Daryl from the hospital. It was only for a little bit and his mother was right beside him the whole time.

He was nervous again as she sat back down beside him but this time she was holding the baby –It might as well have been a bomb with how he was acting.

She reached over, baby in hand, and laid her against his chest. The little head landing on his chest. He was careful not to use his right hand –since he had taped a very large knife to the end of it. His left hand held the baby to his chest, it felt weird having this little thing in his arms. This thing that needed to depend on someone else to keep her alive was tugging at his heart.

"You know my brothers an ass. He shouldn't have left you but he loves you."

"Well I don't care." She crossed her arms over her chest and it reminded him of when Cora would throw a tantrum about not getting ice cream.

"Don't act like a spoiled brat. At least talk to my baby brother."

"Merle I am willing to forgive you but don't push me on this. You have no clue what's in my mind so back the hell off."

"Okay. I surrender. I also saw your little exchange with blondie down there." She had impressed him but she was also a different person. When he had asked Daryl about it –his brother seemed just as concerned. He told him that she wasn't like that when he left for Woodbury. "This rage –you gotta let it go baby girl. Otherwise it's going to eat up who you once were and I gotta say this new you –she's scary as hell."

"Well, your brother made this 'new me' and the new me is the one who is going to survive on her own. I'm done relying on people." She took Judith back from him, and he was a little saddened at the loss of comfort the baby had given him. "Now get out."