Like usual with me, just after having a fun or fluffy fic I suddenly attack with a very improper drabble, or one that subtly deeps into the water of angst or drama; an almost perfect example will be Numb.
Come to life after thinking a little, what if the GAang didn't exactly opened their arms to our moody prince? What if they thought everything was alright at the end? They are not exactly good at psychology (neither am I that's for sure), but the idea of a more frozen Zuko appeared, one that is at the end numb, his feelings simply went unused for so long, felt so lonely that at the end he blocked them, he left them frozen, his heart is unable to open to his friends, that how Numb was born.
Disclaimer: See 01
51: Numb
Since I could remember, darkness has been around me.
My bending lets me bring light but is only temporary, because I don't feel anything from it except danger and pain, because the memories that my fire brings are only the ones I don't like; my scar, the death of my family… all my family.
I was the fourth element in the group, but it only made me feel even more alone and lost; I felt and saw what they though of me; I never felt like I belonged in that group, even more because I felt I was being forced to go with them respecting the last words of my uncle.
I was an outcast anywhere, in my nation, in the group I was traveling, all the places I was going, there was no home, no place to return to; and only because the Avatar asked me is that I stayed in the Fire Nation as the new Fire Lord; but something was happening inside of me, I was losing something.
First was the news of the Avatar marrying the waterbender and nothing came from me; at first I though it was maybe because I didn't see them as my friends but later I learned that it wasn't that, I felt happy, I was so… numb… there was no other way to explain it.
I guess I finally realized that when Toph, Aang and Katara came to visit to the Fire Nation; I greeted them and they talked about their lives and what they have been doing for those 5 years, then Toph said something, a joke, and all of them laughed, except me, then she turned around and said something about me not having a sense of humor; I could see behind it, she wanted me to be angry, annoyed, or anything similar, but I didn't feel a thing.
Neither of them saw it, just like I though, and then Aang and Katara went back to the South Pole, only Toph decided to stay and continue her travels alone after living another couple of days in the palace.
"Do you all really despise me that much?" I asked to Toph while she turned around to 'see' me after her usual afternoon training, my face as blank as everyday.
"… if it was the younger you I would have told you to stop being so damn moody… but I don't know anymore with you; I guess we weren't really ready to have you in our group, after the whole cave thing and how Katara and Sokka took it, especially Sugar Queen, things weren't precisely easy; I guess we never really got you into the whole group thing, leaving you outside the circle without noticing it" she said with a serious voice, none of the usual playful tone of voice was present.
"How it would have been? To have you guys as friends?" I said while seating in the garden fields of the palace.
"It would have been… nice" Toph said being for once a rather calm girl, I guess my whole perpetual cold behavior tended to expand to others from time to time, then I felt her hand on my chest were my heart was; in the past it would have been something shocking, making me stand up in a jump and start screaming to the girl, but now, it was something without importance "I'm really late, right?"
"For what?"
"To unfreeze your heart… I'm too late now… isn't it?"
"I don't know anymore, I just don't know" I said before Toph leaned against me; I stood there wondering not about the past, but the future.
