Deidara looked at the assortment of candy as he clung to his Danna's legs for dear life. In his boots his toes curled repeatedly, unfurling to and fro as he held back his desire to grab for all or any, tear the darn thing open and eat it there and then. Oh how he wanted a bag of gummies, crunchy little candy sweets, bubble gum, or of course a milk chocolate bar.
If he did that though, Danna would be so mad!
"Un..."
Sasori paid no mind to Deidara's usual fidgets as he counted the items in his cart. One more item and he would have to leave the express check out line! Thankfully he shopped smart and picked out exactly what they needed, nothing that they didn't. He truly was a professional at this shopping stuff now.
"Dannaaa..."
Glancing down, away from his proud counting Sasori grunted, "What's up?"
"Can I pretty pease have..." Looking at the shelf he finally made up his mind, "a chocolatey bar?"
Sasori snorted immediately at the thought. That would put them over the limit! All his hard work of picking out just what they needed all under thirteen items down the drain! Goodness he hated all these snacks placed by the cash register. What a cheap tactic to lure impulse buying and of course whiny little brats such as his own.
"No Deidara. We can't buy a chocolate bar." Sasori finally said.
Deidara whimpered sadly and shook his hands, knees buckling; he really wanted that chocolate! Suddenly a, rather brilliant in his own opinion, thought popped into his head. Swooning and getting dizzy to the point of almost falling, he gripped onto Sasori's leg and sighed heavily, "Uh oh, oh noes Danna... I think my low blood sugars are dropping! I-I need some of the chocolate to make me feel better, un."
Blood sugar?
Narrowing his eyes, Sasori glared down at Deidara. "And where prey tell have you heard about low blood sugar?"
Deidara swooned a few more times before grabbing both of the mans legs this time to look more desperate. "There is this boy named Sam and Sam in my class with diobettus. The teacher and him told us about it. I think I may have it too...so lets get that chocolatey bar!"
"Diabetes huh?"
"Yes I have that thing so I need somethin sweet or I will die, un."
Handing over an apple from the basket Sasori gave a sly grin, "You know Deidara, this apple will work even BETTER than a chocolate bar. You had better eat it. Then afterwards we can go to the DOCTORS and prick your finger with a NEEDLE to test your blood sugars to make sure you will be okay."
Deidara froze. Looking at the chocolate bar and the apple he frowned. He wanted the chocolate not the apple! And what was that about needing a prick from the doctor lady? Shaking his head he coughed a few times and smiled up at Sasori, "Would you look at that! It wasn't dia...dia-bee...diabeenies after all! I just need to cough, un un!"
"So you're all better?"
"All better! No sick!"
Sasori put the apple back and returned to focusing on waiting in the line. There was still no way Deidara was getting that candy.
Raising his hands to the top of his head, Deidara made two rabbit ears, "But my energy levels are kinda low, un. My enternal batteries are dying so I should maybe get the chocolatey bar and-"
Sasori picked that apple right back up out of the basket.
"Nevermind!"
The waiting continued and Deidara grumbled as he fumbled around with the chocolate bar. He wanted this thing. He really reaaally wanted it! What was that thing Sasori wanted from him though... To leave him alone? To pick up his Lego when he was done playing with it? To poop with the door closed at least a little bit? Pee responsibly?
There was one more thing though... What was it... Oh right! He wanted him to grow! Grow to the average size and catch up with his classmates because apparently he was small and fore some reason that wasn't good.
Pulling on Sasori's pant leg again Deidara sent up a cheesy smile. "Y'know Danna, this chocolatey bar might be just what I need to help me grow!"
"Do you know what else might ACTUALLY help you grow?"
Deidara bit his bottom lip and wavered side to side a little, "Un, no what?"
Sasori's hand moved.
"DON'T PICK UP THE APPLE! DON'T PICK UP THE APPLE!"
Huffing turned puffing and that turned to stomping and whining and groaning and moaning. Deidara even tugged at his hair as he wrapped it around his face in frustration. He wasn't the only one frustrated though. There in the line up with them were people who were getting sick at the sight of this poor, adorable child suffering. In each of their minds they wanted to buy the little kid the darn candy! This was insufferable!
"What if I give you the first bite?" Deidara suddenly offered, making eye contact with Sasori after a final tug to his pant leg. "Maybe two bites...no wait just one. Would you then buy me the chocolatey bar? Would you, un?"
Now it was finally their turn to purchase their groceries. If Deidara didn't hurry now, he wouldn't get his candy! So if the sad little puppy whines didn't help before, now Deidara broke out his sad little puppy eyes. He looked miserable now and it was driving everyone even more insane, so insane an older woman was about to say something until Sasori grabbed a chocolate bar.
"Sheesh all this talk about chocolate bars made me crave one. I guess I can buy myself one..." Sasori hummed, assuming one treat over the express limit wouldn't be that big of a deal.
"Yay! Me candy, me candy yay! Thanks Danna, un~"
Sasori looked down at the child hopping happily at his feet. After the candy was scanned he took the chocolate and opened it, popping it into his mouth for a bite.
"What are you so excited about? I just bought ME a chocolate bar. This isn't for YOU."
"Waitta minute... NOT for me?" Deidara asked, staring up with eyes wide in shock and fear.
"No." Sasori grumbled taking yet another dreadful bite. "Mine."
Deidara shook the shock and fear away and giggled. This guy was being ridiculous! Reaching up he gave Sasori's butt a quick slap, something he wasn't supposed to do in public, nor even in the privacy of their home even though he still did it anyway. "Haha! I don't believe you Danna~ you cheeky fart!"
Okay so if people weren't already eves dropping on their conversation about buying the stupid chocolate bar already, they sure as hell were now!
Turning beet red as he heard the muffled laughter coming from the line behind them, Sasori quickly shoved the candy bar into Deidara's mouth and scooped him up into his arms. As Deidara chewed up his little bite of the chocolate, Sasori grumbled into his ear, "I'll give you the rest of that chocolate bar if you never call me that again."
"Deal, un!" Deidara pipped, diving in for a bigger bite of the chocolate he had so longed for.
Each moment that milk chocolate melted on his tongue was heaven. More heaven than usual in fact. Somehow and for some strange reason the candy tasted sweeter than usual... The taste of victory.
Humming in delight as he ate his victory treat, he suddenly had a new craving, "Hey Danna?" He asked, once again tugging at any amount of Sasori he could grab
Sasori glared down at the little boy who now had chocolate smeared all over his lips and cheeks. "...What?" He grumbled, licking his thumb and rubbing a particularly large streak before popping the thumb back into his mouth.
"Mmf! Can I have apple slices for snack today, un?"
"Oh you have for to be kidding me..."
sasori is a cheeky fart. so is babydei. BYE LOSERS.
