Forty-nine

Coruscant

After dinner that evening, Padmé, Sola and the twins headed down to the pool for a swim. Sola was impressed by the facilities that the twins felt compelled to show her, and decided that whatever else Darth Vader may be, he was certainly a good provider.

"You're doing very well, Luke," Padmé told her son encouragingly as she and Sola sat on the edge of the pool watching the twins. "Luke has only recently learned how to swim," she told her sister. "He's made excellent progress in a very short time."

Sola nodded. "Must have had a good teacher," she suggested with a smile.

Padmé smiled. "Well, a motivated one anyway," she told her.

"You ought to bring them to Naboo," Sola said. "They would love it up at the lake retreat."

The smile faded from Padmé's face at the thought of her favorite place in the galaxy, of all the wonderful times she'd shared with Anakin there. "I don't know about that," she said finally. "I don't think their father would approve."

Sola frowned. "Does he make all the decisions, Padmé?" she asked. "Don't you have a say in anything?"

"Of course I do," Padmé replied immediately; but upon reflection realized that her sister was right. "I suppose it's just easier to give in sometimes than to argue," she relented.

Sola nodded. "Yes, I'm sure it must be," she said.

"I don't want Luke and Leia to be constantly exposed to fighting," Padmé explained. "Their father and I have been trying our best to be civil to one another for their sake."

"Civil? Sounds like you've gone a little past civil, Padmé," Sola remarked with a smile.

Padmé's face reddened. "I suppose so," she admitted. "But it won't happen again," she vowed. "Not until he changes."

Sola nodded, not believing a word her sister said. "Yes, well we'll see about that," she remarked. "In the event that it should happen again, you might want to consider using some sort of birth control, Padmé."

Padmé looked at her sister. "Birth control?"

Sola nodded. "You know, to prevent pregnancy," she said.

"I know what it's for, Sola," Padmé replied tersely. "I hardly think it's necessary considering I have no plans to be sexually involved with him in the future."

"Did you have plans to be sexually involved with him before it happened?" Sola asked. "You told me it was the heat of the moment. That doesn't sound like you planned it to me."

"Well, we didn't," Padmé admitted.

"And if you're not on birth control, then your spontaneity may have much more far reaching results than you'd anticipated," Sola stated.

Padmé shook her head. "Doubtful," she said.

Sola smiled. "It only takes once, Padmé," she said. "And you did it twice," she pointed out.

Padmé rolled her eyes. "I am not pregnant," she averred. "The timing is all wrong," she added for good measure.

"I hope you're right Padmé," Sola replied. "Or your life will become more complicated than you can imagine."

Kuat Drive Yard

Vader returned to the detention block early the next morning, knowing that the task ahead of him was not going to be a pleasant one. And yet, he didn't have the luxury of time. The emperor would no doubt be demanding a report on the situation any day now, and if Vader had nothing to report, he was flirting with disaster.

Palpatine had made the eradiation of the Rebel Alliance Vader's primary job, and blamed him for every incident that occurred. The fact that the rebels had allies in every sector and suppliers in every system meant nothing to Palpatine; in his view, Vader simply wasn't working hard enough. And with all that Vader was trying to juggle in her personal life right now, the last thing he needed was the emperor finding another reason to punish him.

"Good morning Lord Vader," said the fat alien who'd greeted him the previous day.

"Have the first prisoner brought into the interrogation room," Vader responded without returning the greeting. "Let's begin."

Coruscant

Padmé and Sola stayed up quite late into the night talking, and so when Padme finally went to bed, she fell asleep almost immediately. It wasn't long before she found herself dreaming...

Padmé had just returned to her room from a late night swim. She had been unable to sleep earlier, and thought the exercise would help. She opened the door to her bedroom and walked inside, closing it behind her. Unwrapping the towel, she walked to the fresher and draped it over a rack to dry, and then proceeded to remove her swimsuit. The water had been quite warm, but the exposure to the cooler air gave her goose bumps. She combed through her wet hair and then walked into the bedroom to fetch a warm nightgown. Lying down in bed, she turned off the light and closed her eyes. She had almost fallen asleep when she realized that she was not alone in her room.

"Who's there?" she asked, sitting up in the bed. But there was no answer, and Padmé began to think that she was paranoid. She lay down again and closed her eyes, willing herself to relax. Then she hear a voice in the dark that she recognized well. "I've missed you, Angel." She smiled.

"I've missed you too," she whispered. "So much..."

Padmé awoke with a start. The dream had been so real that she was trembling with emotion. Sitting up in her bed, she ran her shaking hands through her hair. Get out of my mind! She thought in frustration, wondering if somehow Vader had sent her this dream telepathically. Don't do this to me…don't tease me this way, she thought as tears filled her eyes. I need you, Anakin, please come back to me…

Kuat Drive Yard

Another day spent at the Drive Yards and Vader was a little closer to cracking open the case. Three of the men he had interrogated had, with the help of a rather large dose of truth serum, provided him with information that he hoped would be useful. It seemed that there were several high ranking officials within the Imperial bureaucracy who had known dealings with the Rebel Alliance. And while Vader had suspected this to be true for quite some time, he'd never had names before. Until now. And one of those names was Bail Organa.

Vader had waited a long time to have a reason to arrest Organa; and now, having learned of the viceroy's part in the abduction of Leia, he was more anxious than ever to send him to the spice mines of Kessel. And yet, a part of him dreaded the idea of it, and that frustrated him. Surely Organa deserved everything that was coming to him; so why did the idea of telling Leia that the man she called Father for ten years was never going to see the light of day again bother Vader so much?

As Vader headed for his shuttle, thoughts of Organa were shoved aside as he sensed a very strong wave of emotion emanating from someone close to him. It wasn't the twins, for he knew their signatures well by now. It was Padmé.

Vader said nothing to the pilot of the shuttle as he headed to the back of the craft and took a seat, anxious to focus his mental energy on what it was she was feeling. It was a jumble of emotions, he discovered upon closer examination; not the least of which was frustration. Is she regretting her decision? He wondered. Does she want me as much as I want her?

But Vader soon realized that there was a stronger emotion than her frustration, and that was sadness. Vader had never been able to handle Padme's sadness, and this was no exception. Suddenly all the cruel words he'd hurled at her came back to him, the hurt he'd seen in her eyes as he did so. And Vader felt an emotion he'd not felt in a very long time: guilt. She reaches out to you and accepts you despite the thing you've become, and what do you do? You accuse her of being shallow; you dare to put conditions upon the relationship you have no right to any more. Self recrimination filled him, leaving an empty, bitter feeling inside. You don't deserve her, you never have, and yet she wants you, despite everything, despite all the pain you've caused her, despite Mustafar…and you have the audacity to make demands of her? You should be groveling on your knees before her begging for her forgiveness!

"Lord Vader?"

Vader looked up at the pilot, shaken from his dark musings.

"We're on board, sir," the young man reported. "Is everything all right?"

Vader stood up. No, everything is not all right, he thought as he strode past the man without a word.

Coruscant

Padmé and Sola spent the next day shopping; something they'd always enjoyed doing together. It wasn't so much the purchases as the time spent together, and the laughs they shared, something both had missed sorely in recent years.

Of course, no outing would be complete without the ever present body guard, Captain Kassel, who kept a discreet and yet safe distance from the ladies, not wanting to intrude on their time together. Kassel, who had never enjoyed shopping when he'd been married, was dragged through more shops than he'd ever wanted to see in his lifetime. But he didn't say a word, ever the consummate professional that he was.

"Are you going to grow your hair out long again?" Sola asked when they sat down finally to take some lunch. "I remember how much you hated to cut it."

"I don't know," Padmé said, running a hand over her shoulder length curls. "I'm getting used to it this way."
"Did he notice?" Sola asked.

"Did who notice what?" Padmé asked.

Sola sighed. "You know who, Vader," she said. "Did he notice you'd cut it? Or does he even notice things like that anymore?"
"Yes, he noticed," Padme replied, remembering back to the comment he'd made as he took her to his home for the first time. "Almost immediately."

Sola nodded. "Was he disappointed?"

"If he was, he didn't say so," Padmé replied. "I think he was so shocked that I was alive that he didn't really care that my hair was short."

"I'm sure," Sola agreed. "He must have been thrilled to see you," she said, watching her sister closely for a reaction.

Padmé said nothing for a moment, for she honestly didn't know how he'd felt. "It's not easy to read him now," she said finally.

"The mask?"

"Not just that," Padmé said. "He hides so much of what he is feeling now. Anakin never did that," she added. "He's so…different now."

Sola nodded. "But you still love him," she observed.

Padmé looked at her in surprise. "Is that what you think?" she asked.

"Yes," Sola replied at once. "It's pretty obvious from the outside looking in, Padmé," she added.

"Is there anything else I can get for you ladies?" the serving droid asked, interrupting their conversation.

Padme looked up, glad for the interruption. "Just the bill, thank you," she replied.

Sola noted how her deftly sister had avoided the issue, which only made her believe that she was dead on in her observation. But for now she said nothing, knowing that Padmé would have to come to that realization herself.