Matt's Guide to Love, Dating, and Marriage

Chapter 50

"The Big As: Abortion Or Adoption, Since 'And' Doesn't Really Work Here."

(A/N: Is at home babysitting the little brother, who is clearly not sick, given how much he's talking...)


In retrospect, I probably should have written this chapter earlier, but the time line of this story is so messed up anyway it would be hard for you to notice. In fact, I could probably write a pregnancy chapter in the next chapter, and you wouldn't know any better, because obviously I'd just hop in my DeLorean and take you back to the future...(or the past, rather), by going 88 miles an hour down a residential, possibly suburban, street. With children for the extra adrenaline factor. Unless the prospect of hitting people with DeLoreans isn't exciting to you, in which case you can just ignore this paragraph all together.

At any rate, let's get on to the point of this chapter.

And if you haven't seen the Back to the Future movies, you are missing out on not only an amazing car (which in real life isn't actually that amazing, how could any car compare to my Camaro, really), but also an epic plot line that takes you everywhere from somewhere in the Midwest to the future. I mean, THE FUTURE. That would be wicked cool. Like that part in Harry Potter where Hermione punches Draco in the face.

Actually, that was completely unrelated. But whatever. You get what I mean.


Abortion is a very sensitive topic with quite a large group of people. Especially if those people's names just so conveniently happen to start with M and/or L. And/or? More like 'or.' At any rate, that basically sums up the whole cast (Near isn't that important, trust me; he's just in the series to be the whiny little bitch), and you or someone you know may be heavily opposed to or supportive of abortion, and that's fine, whichever side you pick. What's not fine is when you try to convince other people of your view.

Have you heard that one quip about religion and penises? Something like, "Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one, but it's not okay to whip it out and shove it down people's throats." OHHH SURPRISE BLOW JOB IS SURPRISING. At any rate, the topic of abortion is kind of like that, too.

It's fine to have your own views about abortion and whatnot, but please don't go around like Jehovah's witnesses, trying to convince other people that you're right.

And I'm assuming you do know what abortion is. If you don't, google it. Google knows everything.


Adoption is also a very sensitive topic with quite a large group of people, except not as big a fan base as the one abortion currently carries. (Would you call it a fan base? I'm not really sure what the proper term is.) And I don't think adoption is as heavily debated as abortion is, unless it's from some kind of medical standpoint where you need to know every DNA base your biological parents had because you might be suffering from some extremely rare genetic disease affecting three nitrogenous bases. Or something like that.

At any rate, adoption is another alternative to abortion. Well, not an alternative, but something you can consider if you don't want to have an abortion but also don't want to keep the baby for whatever reasons you may have (financial, terrifying parents, etc.). In my personal opinion, if you don't have the resources to let the baby have a good life, then maybe you should wait to have a baby, or give it up for adoption to a family that can provide it with a good life. Since we're all entitled to good lives, right? And since abortions are a pretty penny, too.

Or maybe I'm just ridiculously cheap. $300 might not be that much to you, but that's like...at least 5 high quality video games.


BAD EXAMPLE :(

If any couple was better suited to have multiple abortions, it would be Light and L. First of all, there are many arguments that could be made about the quality of life that they provide for their children. Um...child in the washing machine taking a bath? Child in the dryer, drying off? Yeah no. Can anybody tell me why those are both very bad ideas for raising children?

Do I see a hand?

If you answered that it's dangerous and life threatening for the children in question, you have answered right. Fifty points to Gryffindor (or whichever house of your choosing you so desire).

And it doesn't even make sense, being that neither of them are even remotely Catholic. In all honesty, I don't think Light's ever even seen a Bible, and L probably avoids churches like the bubonic plague.

AN EVEN WORSE EXAMPLE DX

When you give your child up for adoption, you give that child up for good. Yes, you can meet up with them at a later date if they so desire, but you can't just steal them back once you decide you want them back again.

Cue Mikami here.

Do I need to explain? It's just such a Mikami-esque thing to do.

The man is shameless.

And the saga of Saku Jo continues.

GOOD EXAMPLE :)

Thankfully, Giovanni and Halle knew when not to have sex, as Giovanni pops in and out of jail like...like a hardened thug, which clearly he is not. But I mean, when you work for Near and are ordered to shoot priests on daily basises...bases? then I mean, you're kind of putting yourself at risk of felony there. And murder. Furthermore, Halle and Giovanni have provided A-Light with a lovely home to grow up in. Thank God.

THE PERFECT EXAMPLE :D

See, Mello's Catholic, so we can't have abortions or some other religious thing like that. We also can't use condoms. And we only have one child, which is kind of a miracle, all considering.

I pride myself on being so in tune with the moon and the tides.

Anyway, come back next time for more love, dating, and marriage advice!