Thanks again for the support and the reviews. This chapter could have been called "Welcome inside Amy's head", I hope you like it.


On Sunday morning, I woke up with a smile on my face; a smile that I kept for a long time, as I lay there, on my side, eyes open, remembering one by one all the intimate moments shared with Sheldon the previous evening, first in the Jacuzzi and then in bed, hand in hand, when we were just talking and enjoying each other's company. Then I turned towards his side of the bed and I was a bit disappointed as I found out that he was no longer there lying next to me. Instead, a piece of paper lay on the pillow where his head had rested all night. I put my glasses on and grabbed the note. It read:

"Good morning sleepy head. I woke up early and you were sleeping so peacefully that I did not want to wake you up. I am in the office, calling my mother to tell her about next week. I won't be long. Love, S."

I sat up straight on the bed, stretched my arms and after putting the note back on the pillow, I decided to call my mother too. I had not talked to her since Sheldon and I visited her a few weeks ago and I could not postpone calling her any longer; especially after she had tried to reach me three times yesterday evening without leaving a message. I grabbed my phone and drawing on my courage called her number.

"Allo?"

"Good morning Mother. I hope I did not wake you up."

"Good morning Amy. No, as you are well aware I wake up early every morning."

"Yes, I remember. Sorry Mother." I don't even know why I apologized to her, years of conditioning probably. My mother has always considered me a lazy girl because I did not wake up as early as she did every morning. I tried to focus on the reason of my call. "Mother, I just saw you tried to call me yesterday evening, is there something you want to tell me?"

"Actually yes. But I don't think you will appreciate what I have to tell you." I could feel that she was hesitating, which is pretty rare for my mother. I was beginning to worry at that point. It turns out I was right. "Amy, I am selling your father's house. I have been made an offer I cannot refuse."

My mouth hung open for a couple of minutes. I really did not expect that. When I was a little girl, I lived with my parents in a house in Glendale. When my father died, my mother and I both inherited half of that house. My mother lived in it for some years until she met Richard and moved to Palm Springs. At the time, I could not buy her share and the house was too big for me to live in it anyway – I had just been accepted at UCLA, so my mother proposed to buy my share of the house. As I hesitated at first, we made a deal: she agreed to rent it to tenants and I made her promise not to sell it to anyone but me, when I'd have enough money to buy it, no matter how many years. With the money I got from it, I bought the apartment I am currently living in, a car and I followed my studies without having to worry about money. It was easier for me to live by myself actually, instead of just renting something or having to live with roommates on campus. Since then, all the money I could save was dedicated to buying the house some day. That is why her announcement sounded like a betrayal to me.

I snapped out of my thoughts only after my mother repeated my name twice. "Mmmm…Excuse me…. selling the house? But, wait… Mother, we have an agreement… in a couple more years maximum, I will have enough money to buy it. Even less if I obtain satisfying results with my current assignment… " I pleaded, trying to keep calm.

She interrupted me "Amy, I know about that 'agreement', but the current tenants have made an offer I cannot refuse, it is more than what the house is really worth – I checked with my colleagues from Glendale – and I could use the money right now. I have been more than patient all these years; I have put up with your sentimental nonsense long enough, I cannot wait any longer for you to be able to buy it, Amy."

I stood up and paced around the room. "I cannot believe it, Mother. A deal is a deal. And now that I am very close to having enough money to buy it, you change the rules and sell it to someone else." I sighed "That house means a lot to me Mother, clearly more than it does mean to you. It is all that is left from Father. You can't…"

"Oh you are wrong Darling, I can and I will. The house is mine and I need the money. Except if you can give me as much money as what Mr Jones is offering right now, otherwise I will sell them the house next week."

"Alright, at least give me a little more time, so I can find a solution." I know my Mother and I can always tell when she has made up her mind about something. And that was the case. However, I tried hard to find a solution which she would agree on. "Maybe I could pay a deposit, and give the rest to you little by little. Please Mother, you owe it to me." As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized I should have thought twice before saying them.

"I owe you nothing, Amy. If you don't have the money by the end of the week, the deal with Mr Jones is sealed." She stopped talking for a few seconds, but I could not find anything else to add "It is just a house, Amy, grow up. Goodbye." She finally said before hanging up.

I was speechless; 'Just a house'? Maybe it was just a house to her, after all she is a real estate agent, so she has to deal with houses on a daily basis. But to me, it was more than a house; it was the place where I had been most happy of all my life. It was my father's dream house. After his death, it had been the only thing I could cling to and it had been heartbreaking when I had to sell my share. Buying it was the last thing I could do to honor his memory. And now all that was more than compromised.

I was also very pissed off, it was as if I could never have a break; Sheldon and I were having such a nice weekend in Kate's marvelous house. And then my mother's phone call could very well ruin it for me.

In order to avoid that, I quickly got up from the bed, grabbed my clothes from the dressing room and went to bathroom before Sheldon came back. I tried to empty my head while in the shower but of course the house was all I could think of.

When I came back to the bedroom fifteen minutes later, Sheldon was there, typing on his laptop. Poor Sheldon, before he could even open his mouth, I yelled at him for not waking me up. Of course, I was not really mad at him for that reason; I just did not feel like talking to him just now.

I had not been able to find a solution while in the bathroom but there was one thing I was sure of: there was no way I would talk to Sheldon about my predicament today. Firstly because I did not want to borrow any money from anyone. I had never talked to anyone about the deal, not even to my father's family. Had she known it, Aunt Flora would have wanted to give me some money, and I did not want that. And it was the same with Sheldon; it was my childhood house, buying it had been my goal for years so it was my problem. I would eventually talk to them about that, but I had to try to find a solution by myself first.

And secondly because I was afraid that talking about the house would give Sheldon false ideas about my intentions; I knew that talking about the house could lead to talking about moving in together. And I did not want that, not now. Last year, he had made it very clear that in his opinion, our relationship was not ready for such intimacy and since then, it had remained a taboo subject between us. Of course, the subject of living together in the future had been broached by him a couple of days ago when we visited Kate's house but it seemed too early to talk about it more seriously.

Considering it was not fair to him to keep sulking like that, I tried my best to pull myself together. When I felt like it, I started talking to him about Dylan while packing my clothes. We had a very nice talk and I had almost forgotten about my problem. When suddenly, as I had just finished packing, I heard my phone vibrate on the bedside table; it was a text message from my mother. It started with a six figure number and below was the following text:

"Here is the offer made by Mr Jones. I talked to Richard and here is the deal: if within two weeks, you have that amount of money, the house is yours. Why don't you borrow money from that boyfriend of yours? Or buy it with him maybe? He looks charming. Have a good day. Mother."

I just could not believe it. Not only was she taking her word back but she was also trying to interfere with my private life. And the amount of money she was asking for now was much more than what we had agreed on fifteen years ago; it would definitely take me more than two years to gather that much money.

After the text message, I could not get the topic out of my head for the rest of the day. I managed to pretend in front of my colleagues and stay focused on work when I needed to. But as soon as Sheldon and I were in the car on our way back home, I could not do it anymore. At the beginning, Sheldon tried to chit chat, but pretty soon he understood that I was not in a good mood, especially after I yelled at him for no reason when my GPS stopped working. Or when I told him that, unlike what we had planned, I did not feel like sleeping at his place that night. He had left the car angry.

Before heading back home, I drove to Glendale and parked in front of my father's house. I stayed there for almost an hour. I remembered all the good moments spent there with my father and could not stop a few tears from falling. Then I got back home and spent the rest of the evening checking my bank accounts though not finding a solution. Unfortunately, I also discovered that my apartment was not worth as much as I thought it would be.


After crying all the tears I could produce, I did not feel any better when I woke up the next morning. Especially when I realized that Sheldon had not replied to my goodnight message. I kept the phone next to me for the whole morning at work in case he would try to contact me. I knew that I had not been very fair to him the night before, but I desperately needed to talk to him right now, I needed to read his words or to hear his voice, I knew it would comfort me. At that point, the house was the last thing I wanted to talk about.

So as I was at the LAX airport waiting for my flight, I sent a couple of text messages to apologize, but when I realized he would not reply, I called him although it went directly to voicemail:

"Hello Sheldon. It's Amy. Please talk to me. I am sorry for yesterday. I can't explain what happened through voicemail. I am at the airport, about to leave for Atlanta. All I can tell you is that my bad mood had nothing to do with you or with us; it had to deal with my past. I have to go now, I should land in Atlanta at around 5pm LA time. Can we skype tonight, please? I love you."

I was very sad about the whole predicament, both about my mother and the house and about the situation with Sheldon, and I felt exhausted; but I managed to hide it during the flight which I spent chatting with Kate. We talked about how well the weekend went. She told me that Dylan was talking to her again, mostly about Sheldon and how impressed he was to know him, but also about String theory. I was glad for Kate and assured her that Sheldon was as enthusiastic when he talked about Dylan. Then we talked about the schedule of the week. First, we would spend Tuesday in Atlanta, at Georgia Tech. Then on Tuesday night, everyone would fly to Houston. On Wednesday, we would interview our candidates in Rice University, in Houston, then on Thursday in College Station, a little further North from Houston. Finally on Friday we would visit the University of Texas in Austin. My colleagues planned to stay in hotels near each university while I would spend the first night in Atlanta with them and then all the following nights with Sheldon's family; first, at Mary's on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then at Missy's on Thursday because she lives closer to both College Station and Austin and because she wants us to have a girls night out. After Sheldon arrives on Friday evening, we would stay one more night at Missy's and then back to Mary's on Saturday.

As we landed in Atlanta, I checked my phone: still not a single word from Sheldon. I sent him another text message:

"Sheldon please talk to me. I sincerely apologize for yesterday. I am on my way to the hotel. I will connect on skype as soon as possible. I need to talk to you. Love, A"

After a quick dinner with my colleagues at the hotel's restaurant, I went back to my room and switched on the computer and skype. Sheldon was not online. After a half hour, I sent him one last text message before giving up and going to bed:

"Sheldon, are you home? Can we skype now?"

I was not expecting anything anymore when my phone vibrated.

"Yes and Yes." And almost simultaneously, my skype rang. I picked it up.

"Hello Sheldon! I am so happy to see you" I smiled shyly, really glad to see his face onscreen. And a bit worried about his reaction.

"Hi Amy, you said you wanted to talk. So let's talk." He said quite bluntly.

"Yes, alright." I sighed. Obviously, he wanted to cut to the chase. "Sheldon, I was very unfair to you yesterday evening, and I apologize. Something happened in the morning, something that had nothing to do with you. I hope you can forgive me."

He nodded "Apology accepted. Now, what was it about?" he asked, frowning.

"Well, when you left the room to talk to your mother, I called mine and we had kind of an argument." I paused, unsure how I would go on.

"What happened? What did she say?" he asked, genuinely worried now. I hesitated, so Sheldon insisted "Come on Amy, tell me."

"Oh, I can't talk about it on skype, and I don't want to bother you with it anyway." I felt relieved that he had accepted my apology and tried to switch to another subject. "So how was your day?"

But he did not buy my lousy attempt to bury the topic "You don't bother me, I want to know. You know you can tell me anything Amy, don't you?"

"Yes, well, it is nothing important." I lied. "so how was your day?"

"Well, it was important enough to affect your mood for the whole day yesterday. And to be rude to me by throwing me out of your car with no explanation. I even thought that maybe you had changed your mind about us." He looked at me in the eyes, and I felt sorry for him. "So what happened with your mother?"

"Not now Sheldon please. It is late, I am exhausted. But I promise, I will talk to you about it this weekend when we meet in Texas. Is that okay?"

He sighed but ended up accepting. And he finally told me more about his day. I went on telling him how glad Dylan's parents were and how their meeting had already positively affected the little boy. Sheldon was happy about it. We spoke for an hour but neither of us really behaved like our usual selves. It felt as though Sheldon was still mad at me for yesterday and as if I was tiptoeing around him. But I missed him all the same.


Our Tuesday in Georgia tech was very busy. We managed to meet with ten new candidates from various fields. Then we left to the airport and flew to Houston. I rented a car and after driving my colleagues to their hotel, I drove to Mary's house, Sheldon's childhood house. She greeted me with a smile and a warm hug. It made me feel so welcome, that was all that I needed today. She had already had dinner before I arrived but had some meatloaf and sweet potatoes for me. As I ate my dinner in the kitchen, we talked about everything and anything.

After I finished eating, we both went to the living room, sat next to each other on the couch and skyped Sheldon while drinking tea. It was mainly Mary who did all the talking and Sheldon and I managed to act almost normally in front of his mother. At least that's what I thought. But as soon as we hung up, Mary turned to me and asked, frowning: "Amy, what is going on between you and Shelly?"

I was taken aback "Mmmm…What do you mean Mary?"

"You know what I mean. Did you two have an argument, Sweetheart?"

"Well, no, everything is fine." I was not really lying to Mary, technically we were fine now, but somehow I felt terrible not being entirely honest with her. And apparently Mary is the human lie detector which Sheldon often describes her as.

"Come on little lady, I know when there is something wrong with my son, and he obviously tried to avoid eye contact with the two of us during the whole call…"

"Oh… well, we had kind of an argument before I left." I finally admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it? Did Shelly do something? Because if he did, you know how he is; sometimes he can piss people off but he does not do it on purpose. He is a good boy." The way she was defending her son was so full of motherly love… At that moment a thought crossed my mind: I wished I had a mother like her.

"Oh no. He did not do anything. Actually, it is my entire fault. I received some bad news and was in a bad mood for the whole Sunday. I apologized but it is not easy while apart." A tear was rolling down my cheek.

"Oh come on Dear!" And she took me in her arms "There, there." She gently stroked my hair as I put my head on her shoulder. "Come on Sweetheart, you can talk to me. I won't tell Shelly if you don't want me to."

I pulled away a little and wiped my tears with a handkerchief Mary handed me. Then I told her everything, about my mother's call, my childhood, my relationship with my father and what the house meant to me. She did not say much, but she listened to me and tried to cheer me up.

"Do you think you can find the money before the deadline?" she asked me when I finished explaining everything.

" I guess I could check with my bank, negotiate some advance on salary with my manager or ask my aunt Flora for a loan."

"Amy, dear, why didn't you talk to Shelly about that?"

"Well, I guess I will have to, things have been quite complicated between us since it happened. But the thing is…." I looked at her in the eyes "Well, at first I did not want to tell him because I thought it was my business, and I did not want to get him involved in it." I lowered my eyes and watched the floor. "But now, I am not even sure I want to buy the house, even if I could find the money."

"What made you change your mind Sweetheart?" I felt Mary's warm hand on mine and it was comforting.

"I don't know. I stayed by the house for a long time on Sunday evening, remembering my childhood there, all the happy moments. And then I dreamt about it these past two nights. But when I woke up this morning, it was as if…. I don't know how to explain it… well, the house is part of my past. And I don't see how it would fit in my life as it is now. If that makes any sense…"

"What do you mean, Sweetheart?" Mary frowned.

I lifted my head to face her "I don't know. I think that all these years, I wanted that house so much mostly because the only happy moments of my life had took place there, with my father. But since then…"

"Since then, you lived other happy moments?" she asked gently.

"Yes. Since then, I met Sheldon. And I met my friends, and I met you, and Meemaw, and Missy, and George. People who like me and accept me as I am. And now I think that maybe I should not live in the past so much."I pause for a moment then resumed talking. "Maybe my mother's right after all, maybe I should grow up… but I am afraid to fail my father… What do you think I should do Mary? Fight for the house or just give it up?"

"If you could talk to him right now, what do you think your Daddy would tell you, Sweetheart?"

I took a few seconds to think about it "I guess he would tell to choose whatever is best for me. That's what he always told me: that I had to think about myself first, and that I should always follow my heart."

"As you said, we are all here for you Sweetheart: Sheldon, your friends, and the Coopers. But the choice is entirely yours. Following what your heart, as your Daddy told you, sounds like a wise advice, Amy. If you ask me, I think the Lord wants you to make a choice now, at this moment of your life, for some reason. Take your time Honey, you have two weeks to think about it carefully."

"Thank you Mary." I grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. I was sincere; talking to her tonight had helped me a lot organizing my thoughts. And she gave me some very good advice.

Then after a few minutes in companionable silence, she resumed talking "Amy, if you don't mind a mother prying a bit… how do you see the future with my son? Have you two already talked about what lies ahead for the two of you?"

I was surprised by her question. I sat up straight, a little further from her and looked at her. I was about to talk about my relationship with Sheldon with his mother. "Oh, actually, no, we haven't. We are living on a day to day basis, and so far things are going well. Except for a few bumps on our path sometimes, but we learn from that and keep going. I love your son, I told you already, Mary. And I meant it."

"I know Amy, and I told you he loves you."

"Actually, he told me himself. Even before I told him." I added shyly, blushing a little.

"Did he? Oh, I'm so glad, Sweetheart!" She looked genuinely happy. Once again she placed her hand on mine"I am proud of him. He could not have chosen anyone better suited to him."

"Thanks Mary." I smiled.

We finished our tea and said goodnight to each other. When Mary showed me my room, I realized that she had not prepared George's room for me to sleep in like the last time. This time, I was going to sleep in Sheldon's childhood bedroom. I looked a little closer to all the objects in there, and then fell asleep thinking about the owner of the room, surrounded by his aura. I really had to fix things with him, it felt strange not being able to confide in him. I realized how difficult it had been these past few days, and I did not want to hide anything away from him anymore.


When I woke up the following day, Mary had prepared breakfast for the two of us. We ate together. I thanked her for listening to me the previous night and then I left for Rice University. I had another interesting day, and when I came back in the evening, Meemaw was at Mary's. She looked so much better than the last time I had seen her. Mary explained to me that she had to spend the evening at a charity bingo for the church, and that Meemaw and I could come if we wanted to. Or we could spend the evening at home if we preferred. I asked Meemaw what she preferred and with a smile she confessed she wanted to go to the bingo, but was fine if I felt like staying home. I was so surprised to see her willing to go out that I gladly agreed for the bingo. We quickly skyped Sheldon before we left. He grinned when he saw the three of us appear onscreen, and even more when he heard we were on our way to a bingo game. In his eyes I could see some disappointment or jealousy perhaps.

Before leaving, we had a light dinner. Meemaw explained to me that when her grandchildren were young, they all used to go playing bingo every Friday night. Sheldon loved it. But instead of waiting for the numbers of his cards to be drawned, he made calculation with all the figures on one raw or one column and managed to follow the game at the same time. Sometimes, some of the prizes were cinema tickets, comic books or video games, so he actually got more and more into the game, despite being quite frustrated that there was no intellectual effort required. Meemaw was smiling as she told me lots of stories involving him; I was glad to see she was doing so much better; the last time I came to Texas, she did not want to leave her house and had lost the joy of living she was full of, as I could see tonight.

We spoke a little about her treatment. She explained to me the exercises her speech therapists made her do, and assured me that after I came the last time, she took all her pills. A few details in the way she spoke betrayed the fact that she had suffered from a stroke but it was far better than the last time I was there. I told her and she looked very proud. At that moment, I could see tears in Mary's eyes, which she pretended were due to some dust. Later, she confessed to me that her mother had never talked about her treatment with her, and she was glad that she opened up so easily with me.

We stayed at the bingo for a couple of hours. Mary and Meemaw introduced me as Sheldon's girlfriend to all the people curious about who I was. I enjoyed myself and the three of us were lucky and won a few prizes. Meemaw won a darts game – she said she'd bring it to her senior center for someone's grandkids –, a bag filled with chocolate snacks that she said she'd leave at Mary's for her Moonpie and a mini radio she kept for herself. I won 2 cinema tickets. At first I thought I'd keep them for the week end with Sheldon, but Meemaw mentioned that the cinema where I could use the tickets was in La Galleria, where Missy works and where I was meeting with her the next day; maybe she would like for us to go together after dinner. Mary only won a bag of sweets that we all ate while playing. It was a most enjoyable evening and the more I get to know Sheldon's family, the more I like them. And I could understand why Sheldon loved his Meemaw so much: there was something in Meemaw's eyes, and in her attitude that made you feel loved next to her.

We got home late and I was quite tired on the following day at College Station. Nevertheless, we had a very productive day and I left the college very glad, after again some very interesting interviews.

As planned, in the evening, I met with Missy at La Galleria. We had dinner together at the Cheesecake Factory, and then we went to the cinema with the tickets I had won at the bingo. Steve was away for a few days for a tennis tournament, so we spent the evening just the two of us. Missy and I both agreed immediately on the movie we wanted to see: 'We're the Millers', a comedy with Jenifer Aniston. For once I was not dragged to a movie theatre to see a Science Fiction movie. Maybe I should propose a change in the Relation Agreement about that; it would be nice to watch a movie I chose once in a while. I enjoyed spending time with Missy. Growing up an only child and never really making friends at school, I have only been able to discover girls' nights out and hanging out with girlfriends lately, thanks to Penny and Bernadette. And now in Missy, I found the sister I never had. My life has changed so much since I met Sheldon.


The next morning, I woke up very early as Austin was around 200 miles away from Missy's house. On the way, I looked back on the past week's events and a few things became clear in my mind. First, I realized that I felt a bit jealous of Sheldon because he had the family I had always dreamt of. He had the sweetest grandmother, siblings that seem to care a lot about him, especially his twin sister, and a mother with a strong personality but who loves her children more than anything. My own mother never really cared about me and after my father's death, I never felt appreciated or understood by anyone, until now.

Talking to Mary on Tuesday evening allowed me to express my fears and doubts without being judged or mocked. That is what a mother is supposed to do. The Coopers were my family now. Maybe I should stop living with ghosts from the past: I will never have a loving mother, I will never be able to go back to the happy years with my father, but at the same time I will never forget these moments with him. I don't need a house to remember that, my father's in my heart and my head forever. Maybe, like Mary said her own way, it is not a coincidence that my mother changed her mind about the house right now, at this moment of my life. Maybe I have enough in my life now to build on it, instead of the past. Maybe like she said, it is time for me to grow up. Things were clear now: I will not fight for the house. I will live in the present, and see where it takes me.

So even though I am still mad at my mother for failing me again, this week made me look at my life from another perspective, and maybe it was the right time, maybe I needed to face it as violently as I did.

Having reached that decision, I arrived in Austin ten pounds lighter. And after another enjoyable day at work, I was ready to go back to Houston to pick Sheldon up at the airport.

I was scared about his reaction but when I saw him smile as he walked towards me, I felt relieved. I had missed him so much. I opened my arms and we both held each other tight for a couple of minutes. He kissed me in the neck and whispered that he had missed me a lot for that past week. I told him that I had missed him too. Then he grabbed my hand and we walked towards the car in silence. We were just happy to be with each other.

In the car on the way to Missy's place, Sheldon said that he would like to talk about what happened last Sunday. I promised him I would definitely tell him later that evening. He had to know what went on, and why it does not matter anymore. I was ready to tell him, finally.


I'd like to apologize to Lady Maca: I could not include a make out scene in this chapter, it simply did not fit; Sheldon may have changed, he is still not a great fan of making out in public, so an airport…. But they are staying at Missy's tonight…. And at Missy's, they share a room… Need I say more? ;-)

Thanks to inwhatuniverse, SheldonlovesAmy, ShellyAmy, Shelly, tweepadok, lunalovegouda, homebirther, LawAndOrderSVU3 and other guests for the very nice messages/reviews. Believe it or not, it helps me a lot in this difficult period. I am still not 100% well, but I promise this story will have a proper end in a few chapters.

And thanks to my Beta for her help.

There will be a little more time before I post chapter 45 but I'll do my best not to keep you waiting too long.