Summary: AU: Stanford Era: "Dean … Sammy's in trouble." A late night phone call sends Dean Winchester and long-time friend, Caelan Hagan in a desperate search to find Sam before the unthinkable happens; uncovering lies and secrets involving the youngest Winchester, that have been years in the making.

Warnings: Violence, swearing, physical abuse, torture, implied adult themes. This chapter also contains suicidal tendencies.

Disclaimer: I don't own the supernatural characters.

Author's Note: Just another possibility on why Sam left for Stanford. Hope you enjoy.

If there is anything I have left out or you are still unsure about, please feel free to message me. You never know, I may have left it unintentionally unresolved for a reason (possibly a sequel).

Special Note: Thanks to Pie Love Luci andfor your review and your kind words. Here's another chapter just for all you guys who have taken the time out to read this story and to all the people who have this story on their alerts or have put it on their favourite lists. Thanks. It means a lot. Thanks to everyone for their patience and continued interest.

DEMON SPAWN: THE PHONE CALL

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

Sam wasn't aware of when he regained consciousness, he wasn't aware of the heavy weight of his gun held between his hands, tears rolling down his checks, or the blood that trickled slowly from his nose, his head bowed, his chin resting upon his upper chest, the complete picture of a man destroyed, everything that he had held dear to him, gone and replaced by an emptiness, a longing that he didn't quite understand.

All Sam knew for certain was that this … obsession the organisation had with him was never going to end. Sicko would never give up until Sam was dead – after he tortured him mercilessly, of course – until he'd broken Dean, until he'd eradicated the Winchester name forever.

All of the people Sam had ever loved, who had shown him compassion, given him shelter or helped him in any way, were now in danger because of Sicko's wrath and his warped desire for revenge.

Running wasn't an option anymore, because Sam knew after this event that Sicko would be able to find him wherever he went, no matter the distance or how far away Sam ran, Sicko would always be able to find him.

And if Sicko could find him, then he could find Sam's family. And Sam … he couldn't … he wouldn't live with their deaths on his conscience.

No, the only option Sam had left now was to take his gun, put it to his temple and pull the damn trigger.

The organisation would have no need to come after him if he was dead, no need to hurt or hunt down his family. This was the only way; the only option he had left that would ensure his family, his friends' safety.

Sam caressed the gun in his lap almost lovingly, bitting upon his bottom lip, doubt beginning to creep in around the edges of his mind.

There was no doubt in Sam's mind that the organisation wouldn't hurt his family if Sam was dead. But would that stop Sicko? Would he leave Sam's family, his friends alone if Sam was dead?

Knowing what he knew now, and after having been connected to him in such an intimate way that Sam had felt his feelings, experienced his inner most thoughts and how truly demented, evil and psychotic he really was … Sam wasn't convinced that his death would stop this crazy man from taking his revenge out on his family and friends just because he could.

So now, Sam was left with making one of the hardest decisions he'd ever had to make; to live or die. And no matter what he did, Sam realized that his family and friends still got hurt because of him, whether or not he died here today.

Sam bit back on his sob of anguish, despair rolling through him. He just wanted this to be over. He wanted his family, his loved ones safe.

If he could go back in time, if there was one thing that Sam could change about his past; he'd make it so that he had never been born. If he'd never been born, The Demon wouldn't have come for him, wouldn't have killed his mother. If he'd never existed, the organisation wouldn't have targeted him, fixated on him because of the Demon Blood he had flowing through his veins; his family and friends wouldn't be put in peril because they were trying to protect him, shield him from these outside threats, such as the organisation and Sicko.

Sam's silent tears fell more quickly, the young Hunter wishing for freedom, for escape, for death, but knowing that his death wouldn't solve anything. Not now. Still, the idea of ending it all, right here and now was so appealing to the youngest Winchester that it was hard to ignore the urge to just do it, to finish it once and for all.

He understood now why he'd had to urge to go back to Caelan's motel room, to confront Sicko and eliminate him, eliminate the threat, to complete what would no doubt have been a suicide mission.

He'd seen it as he had fallen unconscious, after his desperate call for help to his big brother, when he had once again reconnected with Sicko in both body and mind; that it had been Sicko who had planted these thoughts in Sam's mind, trying to force and lure the youngest Winchester into a trap, into his ultimate demise and destruction.

Sicko, sensing an intrusion within his mind when Sam had dreamed of Caelan's untimely death, had set a psychic trap for Sam. He didn't know that it was Sam who had invaded his mind; all he knew was that this intruder was powerful enough to become dangerous and had to be eliminated.

So now, not only could Sicko bring dead men back to life, he could also force his will upon another's mind.

Sam had almost succumbed to that will – would have succumbed to it – except for the fact that this was a newly acquired skill and Sicko had over-exerted himself, which was the only reason that Sam had been able to fight back.

Sam didn't know how long he sat there, caressing his gun as if it was a long lost lover, contemplating his death, contemplating his life, trying to decide the best course of action to take; to live or die.

Sam jumped, startled when he felt rough, calloused hands on either side of his face. Sam instinctively began to flinch and pull away from that touch, but a familiar voice penetrated his numb mind and Sam couldn't help but lean into the comfort of that familiar touch which had always provided Sam with such warmth, love and understanding.

"Dean," Sam gasped, slowly lifting his head to look up into anxious, concerned green eyes.

"It's okay Sammy, I've got you." Dean smiled gently, carding reassuring fingers through his brother's unruly dark hair. "It's okay Sammy, you're safe now."

Sam felt hysterical laughter rising to the surface, fighting to get free, but somehow Sam held it back, his bottom lip trembling violently. "I don't know what to do Dee," Sam wailed pitifully. "I don't … Dee; I need you to kill me … please …"

SW DW CH SW DW CH SW DW CH SW DW CH SW

Dean knew when he spotted the car on the side of the road, engine still running, not more than ten minutes out from Caelan's motel room, that his baby brother was in that car.

Dean brought the Impala to a screeching halt, causing Caelan to smack his head upon the dashboard. Before Caelan had a chance of mouthing off to Dean because of the unexpected, sudden stop, Dean had jumped out of the Impala and sprinted to the car on the side of the road.

Through the driver's window, Dean could see a familiar tall figure hunched in the driver's seat. Dean immediately scanned the car and the area for any sign of anything that shouldn't be there; but the coast was clear and Dean let out a sigh of relief.

Thank God, he had found Sam and the kid appeared to be safe. But as Dean knew all too well, looks could be deceiving. And the scream of agony that he'd heard from his brother before the line went dead, suggested to Dean that something extremely painful had happened to his kid brother to have screamed like that.

Barely pausing for a breath, Dean ripped open the car door and froze at the sight that greeted him.

Sam was sitting in a hunched position, his shoulders shaking in a way that reminded Dean of when Sam had been younger and was trying to hide the fact that he was crying. That in itself, knowing that Sam was in so much pain that he was reduced to tears, was enough to cause Dean to freeze.

But it was what Dean spied next, and the way that his brother was caressing it, cradling it, that caused Dean's heart to stop mid-beat, the breath to catch in his throat, the implications of his brother's actions – or what he could do – made Dean want to rip the gun from Sam's hands and throw it away, keep it out of Sam's grasp until Dean knocked some sense into that big stupid brain of his. But Dean knew that any sudden movement from him might cause Sam to pull the trigger reflectively.

Dean took a deep, steadying breath; eyes glued to the gun in his brother's hands, which were resting in his lap, eyes widening slightly when he noticed that the safety was off. Was his brother seriously thinking of going through with this? If Dean wasn't here, would his brother use the gun on himself?

Dean shook his head, trying to dismiss the image of his little brother using the gun to blow his own brains out. It didn't matter what Sam had been planning on doing or not doing. Dean was here now, and there was no way in hell that he would let Sam ever pull that trigger. It was time to bring his little brother back from the ledge.

"Hey, Sammy," Dean called out in a soft, gentle voice as he crouched down next to his brother. "Hey baby bro, you wanna tell me what's going here?"

There was no reaction from Sam at all, but now that Dean was closer, he could see the tears streaming down his brother's checks, his posture one of abject misery and complete failure, chewing on his bottom lip so hard that Dean feared the kid would break through the skin any minute now.

"Sammy, why don't you give me the gun and we can talk about this, okay?" Cautiously, Dean moved his hand toward the gun in his brother's lap, using the same calm and even tone of voice he would use whenever the kid was too terrified to listen to reason or he was on the verge of having one hell of a panic attack.

Still, Sam didn't acknowledge his presence in any way, even when Dean gently placed a hand upon the gun that Sam cradled within his own hands.

"That's it Sammy, give me the gun and then we can get you somewhere comfortable and we can talk about all of this." Dean encouraged as he began the slow, delicate process of removing the gun from his brother's hands without accidentally causing Sam to pull the trigger in reflex.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he managed to extract the gun from Sam's hands without incident. "I'm not mad Sammy, okay?" Dean told his shaking sibling as he handed Caelan Sam's gun, knowing that Caelan was behind him, ready to offer assistance if needed, Dean never taking his eyes off of his kid brother.

"Hey kid, c'mon, talk to me," Dean brushed Sam's hair away, desperate to get a look at Sam's eyes because Sam's eyes were always so expressive and just one look into those puppy-dog eyes was usually more than enough for Dean to gauge Sam's moods and know what was going through the kid's mind.

Dean let out a shocked breath when he saw the dried blood tracks from his brother's nose, a dead, empty look within Sam's eyes, tears still running down his pale, drawn checks.

"Sammy!" Dean gasped, hands instantly going to either side of Sam's head, forcing the kid's head up so he could get a better look at the injury. "What the hell happ – hey, hey, easy Sammy, it's just me," Dean soothed when Sam jumped and tried to cringe away from Dean's touch. "It's me buddy, you're safe. I've got you baby brother, I've got you."

"Dean," Sam breathed on an exhale, the trembling within his body beginning to ease as he finally looked up to meet Dean's eyes.

Dean almost burst into tears himself at the look of despondency on the kid's face. "It's okay Sammy, I've got you." Dean held his shaky smile in place as he ran calming, soothing fingers through his brother's hair, knowing that this was one action that he could use which would calm the kid down in a hurry and reassure him that he was safe. "It's okay Sammy, you're safe now."

Sam's expression twisted into an expression Dean didn't recognize, but which disturbed none the less, his words seeming to upset Sam more than to provide him with the comfort Dean had intended.

"I don't know what to do Dee," Sam wailed, his bottom lip trembling violently, giving Dean the saddest, most pitiful puppy-eyes Dean had ever seen. "I don't … Dee; I need you to kill me … please …"

Dean blinked stupidly at Sam for several seconds before Sam's request penetrated his brain. "No." Dean replied immediately, sick, shocked and horrified by his brother's desperate plea. "No Sammy, I'm not killing you. Are you completely out of your friggin' mind? Why the hell would you ask me to do that?"

"Because it's the only way," Sam stated in a matter of fact tone. "It's the only way I can keep you all safe." Sam paused, pursing his lips thoughtfully, a light frown creasing his brow. "Well, it's the only way that will keep the organisation from coming after you. If I'm dead, they won't have any reason to bother you.

But Sicko …" Sam's frown increased, a look of worry and unease entering his hazel eyes. "I don't think he'd care if I was dead or not. He'd come after you anyway. I can't protect you from him, I'm sorry. But I can protect you from the organisation. Kill me and the curse upon our family is lifted."

Sam grabbed Dean's hands into his own. "Don't you see Dean? Nothing bad would have happened to our family if I'd never been born." He began earnestly.

"That's ridiculous Sammy," Dean interrupted, his voice harsher than he had intended, shifting uncomfortably, not liking where this conversation was headed; or where his brother's head was at. "Stop talking like that!"

"No Dean, it's the truth." Sam insisted, squeezing Dean's hands urgently, desperate to make Dean see the truth of his words. "If I wasn't born, The Demon wouldn't have killed Mum," Sam rushed on, eager to convince Dean that this was the only way to keep their family safe. "The organisation wouldn't have targeted me, Sicko wouldn't have become obsessed with me; you, Mum and Dad would have been happy. No hunting, no monsters, no secret organisation."

Dean shook his head at his brother's fucked up logic, seeing how that could make sense to Sam – because Sam was always so much harder on himself than he needed to be – but knowing that Sam had forgotten the most important part of his existence.

It was time to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all. Dean's expression hardened, anger at what his brother had said and believed, flaring within his green eyes as he gripped his brother's head in his hands, forcing Sam to look into his eyes.

"You listen to me Samuel Winchester," Dean began, holding his brother's gaze in his own, green eyes deadly serious, hoping and praying that these words could help pull his brother back from the brink of blaming himself so much, that the guilt for what had happened either drove his brother completely insane or he really did put a gun to his head and pull the trigger.

"You are not responsible or to blame for any of that happening. The Demon is to blame for Mum's death. You can't control what this organisation thinks or acts upon, so how can you blame yourself for them targeting you or for Dead Fucker, who is one sick, twisted son of a bitch?

Don't ever wish yourself dead Sam," Dean continued, his voice becoming rougher with emotion. "You are my pain in the ass kid brother and I'd be lost if you'd never been born … or you died here today.

You think I'm the one who saves and protects you? And of course I do, I'll protect you from the monsters, people, bullies, whatever tries to hurt you because that's what big brother's do.

But you Sammy, you are the reason I can get up every day and carry on. You keep me sane in this fucked up life that Dad brought us up in. If you weren't here …" Dean shook his head, sighing deeply, a bitter smile on his lips. "Hell, I think I would have ended up in jail, locked up in a nut house or hooked on drugs."

The smile trembled upon Dean's lips, seeing Sam's hazel eyes widen in astonishment at Dean's words. "Don't ever wish you were dead Sammy or ask me to kill you, because if you died … I wouldn't be too far behind you."

Dean rested his forehead against Sam's, feeling the hot sting of tears gathering within his eyes. "We can beat this bro, we can. We can beat all of those bastards out there that want to hurt you or think that they can experiment on you.

We can beat them, but only if we're together Sammy. I can't fight this fight on my own. Please little brother; I need you fighting the fight with me. Together we can beat them all. The two of us, together … hell, we can beat the whole damn world if we have to!"

Dean pulled back slightly to peer into those hazel eyes that he knew and loved so well. "What do you say Sammy? Are you with me?"

Sam was silent for a long time, the empty despairing feeling not entirely leaving him, knowing that he was putting his family in unnecessary danger with every breath that he took, but Dean's words and the emotion that he had let Sam see, caused Sam's heart to swell with renewed confidence and strength, the will to fight and live beating strongly within him.

Sam raised his eyes, a slow steady grin lighting his face. That was just typical of Dean to be able to provide Sam with the strength that needed; to provide Sam with a purpose to go on when all seemed hopeless and lost; to be able to say the right words that resonated with Sam, causing him to become stronger, to become better, all because his brother believed in him.

"Yeah Dean, I'm with you." Sam replied, watching as Dean's lips stretched into a grin of his own.

Caelan watched as the Winchester siblings reconnected, giving each other the strength and support they would need to face whatever evil monster, person or organisation that came their way.

Caelan had been pulled from the brink of self-destruction by the youngest Winchester; Sam had been pulled from the brink of self-annihilation by the oldest Winchester sibling; together there wasn't anything the Winchester brothers couldn't accomplish or overcome.

And now that Caelan's head was cleared and back in the game, he would provide the Winchesters with his loyalty, support and whatever they might need; because now he realized he had something worth fighting for, worth living for and there was no way in hell that he was going to let anyone tear him away from the bond he and the Winchesters had.

They still had a long way to go and a lot of mending to do, but Caelan was confident that between the three of them, they could take down whomever and whatever came their way.

"There's a lot I need to tell you both," Sam was saying as Dean helped the youngest Winchester from the car; Sam eyeing both Dean and Caelan with seriousness and trepidation.

"Later Sammy," Dean replied easily, resting a light hand upon his brother's shoulder. "For now, let's get the hell out of this town. I think all of us have earned a break and long rest before we plan our next move. What do you say guys, should we invade Pastor Jim's or Bobby's?"

Sam and Caelan shared a look before they both pipped up with the same answer in unison.

Dean laughed as he gently guided Sam toward the Impala. "Right, Bobby's it is then. Don't look so worried little brother," Dean advised, ruffling the kid's hair affectionately. "Now that the three of us are united again, there's nothing we can't handle. Together we're invincible!"

Caelan groaned loudly at Dean's corny words, while Sam rolled his eyes, but both men wore the same soft smile upon their lips. They had survived, and come out of this encounter stronger than ever. No matter what happened next, Sam knew that he wouldn't be facing it alone.

With his brothers by his side, Sam knew that he could beat whatever obstacle that came their way. Together they were stronger and it was together that they were going to beat this; bring the organisation down to its knees, defeat Sicko and Marc Ley-Lamp and kill The Demon who had started this whole mess to begin with.

Together, united and with his brothers, Sam knew that the only way to defeat this almost omnipotent secret organisation was together. A soft smile crossed Sam's lips as he settled in the back seat of the Impala, suddenly feeling lighter and more relaxed than he had in a long time.

He would always regret the lives that had been lost because of him, but lying here in the Impala, the only home he had ever known, his big brothers bickering in the front seats before him, Sam was eternally grateful that he didn't have to hide anything anymore from his brothers, that he had someone to share this burden with, that he was no longer alone.

Because Dean was right. Together, they could beat anyone and anything that came their way.

THE END

Aten: And that concludes this epic tale that was only supposed to be ten chapters long. But as I have said before, endings have never been my strong suit. And fear not, this is not the end of the tale, there will be lots more tales to come, I'm sure.

I would like to thank everyone for their continued support, encouragement and patience on this story, without which I'm sure I would have lost interest in this a long time ago. But it is because of you that I carried on and saw this story through to its conclusion.

Special thanks goes to everyone who put this story on their favourite lists, liked and followed me along for this crazy ride.

And to all of my reviewers out there … thanks heaps for sticking with me, encouraging me and inspiring me to carry on. Your encouraging words really kept me on track and motivated to complete this story to the best of my ability.