Author's Note: I apologize in advance. Ya'll are gonna hate me. Trust me… please? There's a reason for it, and the end result will (hopefully) be better than what you were expecting.
Puck woke up when he heard the front door open. The room was dark, and the red glowing lights on his alarm clock told him it was 7:30PM. That meant his mother was home from work. Shit, he hadn't meant to sleep that long.
The situation with Quinn had gone downhill pretty quickly after the consolation prize remark she'd made. She'd ended up storming out, but not before telling him that she'd never admit the baby was his, no matter what happened. He'd gone back to bed after that, figuring that being with Rachel in his dreams was better than nothing. Also, he had a better shot of seeing her naked there than he did in real life.
Stupid fucking dreams. Instead of living out his pornographic fantasies, Rachel had yelled at him. She'd called him a loser, and he'd had to watch her make out with Finn. There had been one weirdly hot scene where she'd been making out with Quinn, but then Quinn turned into a vampire and bit her. He wasn't exactly sure what that was all about.
A loud knock jarred him from his thoughts.
"Honey Bear? Are you okay? Is it safe to come in?"
"It's safe Mom." Sheesh, five years later, and she still had to remind him every time.
She walked into the dark room and sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Noah, honey are you okay? Why are you in bed?"
"I don't know, I just don't feel good." Which was true, he didn't feel sick, but he damn well didn't feel good either.
Laying the back of her hand against his forehead, she fired off a list questions. "Do you have a fever? Body aches? Headache? Vomiting? Diarrhea-"
"No, mom, I'm just tired. I'll be fine." Having a nurse for a mother, a real nurse, not a crazy wannabe nurse like Mrs. Shue, really sucked sometimes. You couldn't fake shit.
"Do you want any dinner?"
"No, I'm not really hungry." Crap, wrong answer. She flicked the lamp on his dresser on and eyed him carefully.
"Noah, what is going on? You're worrying me."
Puck pushed his face into the pillow to avoid the light. "Nothing Mom, I'm fine."
"The last time you turned down food, you had appendicitis, now look at me."
He turned his head towards her and squinted his eyes. "It's been a long day."
His mother was no fool, and he knew what was coming next.
"This isn't about that awful Santa girl is it?"
She hated Santana. The first time she'd come over to his house for dinner she'd told his mom their house was 'quaint'. That had been the second strike (the first being that she wasn't Jewish). When she'd kissed him at the dinner table, his mother had practically kicked her out of the house. Ever since then, she'd refused to say the girl's name correctly.
"No Mom, not Santana."
"Who then?"
Turning away, he hoped she'd take the hint. Instead, his mom stroked his head like she had when he was a kid, and for once he didn't try and push her hand away. The gesture was comforting, and it reminded him of Rachel.
"Well whoever she is, I already don't like her."
He laughed weakly. "You'd love her." Sitting up, he leaned his head on her shoulder, waiting for her to ask is the girl was Jewish.
"Really? Is she Jewish?"
So predictable."Yeah."
"Really? And when exactly was she over here?"
Unexpected. "Huh?"
"The wonderful Jewish girl I'd like, when was she here?"
"She wasn't" Other than Finn, he was definitely not allowed to have people over when she wasn't home.
"Noah Elijah Puckerman…"
Shit, all three names, he was definitely in trouble. She knew. Damn it, how did the woman do it? "I swear she didn't come over while you were at work." Not technically a lie.
"Is that so? Then I suppose you've started wearing mascara?"
Huh? He followed her eyes to his pillow and saw the dark streaks where Rachel's mascara had rubbed off.
"Hand them over."
"Mom, I'm really sorry, it won't happen-"
"Not only did you lie, but you broke two rules. No people over when I'm not home, and no girls in your room."
He didn't think it would help to point out that she'd been home almost the whole time Rachel had been there. Her hand was outstretched, waiting for him to hand over his freedom.
"Mom, I promise-"
"Noah. Now."
Reaching over, he grabbed his phone and keys and put them in her hand. Great, just fucking great. Flopping back onto the bed, he tried to think of way his life could possibly suck any more than it right now.
"Quit the drama, you'll get them back Monday morning." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You know I expect better things from you, honey bear." Reaching up to turn out the lamp, she paused and picked up a small item from the dresser. She held up the gold and pearl earring, "Classy."
Shit, Rachel's earrings.
"Make sure you remember to return these, they're quality jewelry. Of course you could always give them to her when she comes over for dinner."
"Dinner?"
"I work Monday, so how about Tuesday night? I'd like to meet this girl."
"Mom, I-"
"Tuesday it is then. I certainly hope she has better table manners than that Santa girl."
Puck was too shocked to correct her. Rachel wasn't even speaking to him, how the hell was he going to convince her to come to dinner? Not bringing wasn't really an option, because as tough as Rachel was, he feared his mother's wrath more. This, apparently, was how his life could suck worse.
*Beep*
The phone in his mother's hand signaled an incoming message.
"Mom, can I just-"
"Monday morning, Noah." Flipping the phone open, she powered it off. "Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes."
