[Michael and Gob continue discussing Tracey and the funeral in July 2001. Meanwhile, Tobias visits Maeby and films his scene in her movie.]
In the cabin, Michael and Gob passionately embraced as they entered the bedroom, but they had to keep pausing because Gob's magic tricks kept going off while he undressed. "Sorry."
Michael pulled back from the lighter fluid spray, then went to lie down on the bed.
However, while Gob carefully took off his trick devices, he started to have second thoughts about having sex right now. Ever since Tracey's funeral, he had avoided confessing his secret shame to Michael; Franklin always warned that Michael would hate Gob for it and never forgive him. So to suddenly be faced with the opposite reaction was quite amazing and disconcerting.
"Mikey," Gob asked, as he got on the bed too, "you're not angry at me?" He was surprised that Michael would forgive him, let alone so easily.
Michael shook his head and kissed him. "No, it wasn't your fault, Gob."
"You sure?" Gob still felt guilty about the 1990s. "But I kept trying to sabotage you and Tracey, and make you get rid of George Michael."
"But that's not any worse than what Dad did all the time." Michael felt that Gob's sabotage was more forgivable than Dad's atrocious behavior to his wife. Dad constantly insulted Tracey and belittled Michael's marriage over the years. After she got cancer and died, Dad actually said "things have a way of working themselves out," and looked ghoulishly pleased. "Remember how he was at the funeral?"
Many of the Bluths were selfish and thoughtless, but George was especially tasteless that day in 2001. He smiled and practically celebrated Tracey's death, and that was the last straw for Tracey's parents. They stormed out angrily and swore never to attend a Bluth family event again. "Good riddance," Dad had said, believing that the in-laws were moochers who would come after the Bluth fortune. Mom agreed, even though she had liked Tracey.
Michael had been tempted to grab his son and quit his awful family to join the in-laws, but he didn't, because of Gob, who sobbed incoherently throughout the funeral.
"You didn't gloat like Dad did." Michael had felt touched by Gob behaving appropriately and respectfully for once. Like a human being instead of a cold hard Bluth. He wondered if Gob was just uncomfortable with death, or if going to rehab for the cocaine in 2000 had affected him.
Gob sighed, remembering how 11-year-old George Michael cried at the funeral, which made Gob feel all the more responsible for killing the kid's mother.
Michael asked, "That's why you were crying and stammering so much that day? You thought it was your fault?"
Gob nodded and looked away, like when he couldn't face the big photo of Tracey featured at the funeral. It was from when she still had hair, before the cancer treatments, and that reminded Gob of setting her hair on fire at the wedding. "I'm sorry."
"No, Gob. It wasn't you." Michael held his hand and looked into his brother's eyes. Surely Gob's remorse and regret were proof that he had a conscience after all. "You're so good."
Gob remembered how numb Michael had seemed in 2001. "And that's why you couldn't cry at her funeral, Mikey? 'Cause you thought it was your fault she died?"
Michael nodded and confessed, "I cried while she was in the coma, but only when George Michael wasn't there. I didn't want him to know that I was to blame."
"No, Mikey." Gob nuzzled him sadly. He still doubted that Tracey's death was Michael's fault. Gob was the one with darkness inside him. "It wasn't you."
Michael shook his head. "If God wanted to teach you a lesson, Gob, He would punish you in a different way. Like, maybe Tracey and I would move to Phoenix with George Michael, and never speak to you or the family again."
Gob gasped in horror, remembering all the times that his brother drove away, before chickening out. "No!"
Michael kissed him reassuringly. "I'm glad we didn't. I just mean, that's how God would do it if He was mad at you. But no, He killed her, so it was my fault, not yours. I didn't deserve her, and He took her away from me to teach me a lesson." Maybe Lindsay was right about him being spoiled and ungrateful. (Michael was such a self-involved narcissist, that he didn't wonder why God would cruelly punish Tracy and George Michael also.)
Pulling Gob to lie down with him, Michael said wistfully, "Besides, you gave me that car, Gob, and let me keep it. Tracey and I never would have made it without that car. You're the reason I even had 12 years with her." Actually 13, counting the year they dated before marrying. Michael hugged him and sighed gratefully.
Gob pouted in frustration. Actually, in the 1990s, he had considered trying to take the car back to cause them financial trouble. However, given how easily Mom and Dad made the brothers boyfight, Gob had feared that Michael would not forgive him for such an overt sabotage of his marriage. At the time, Franklin told him to stick with the plan of trying to make Tracey hate Bluths enough to decide to escape the family.
Michael only saw the good in Gob, insisting, "After George Michael was born, didn't you love him too? You came to his birthday party, remember?"
"Yeah." Gob shrugged. At first, when Michael was still finishing college, Gob hardly visited the campus apartment, so he thought of the baby abstractly as a crying nuisance with no personality. When Michael moved home to Newport Beach, though, Gob finally got to know George Michael as a toddler who loved BabyTock and woodblock. Then Gob discovered that his nephew liked magic too, and this made him actually happy about the kid's existence. So he brought Franklin to George Michael's party once, but Tracey objected to the racist jokes. Despite the growing warmth he felt for his nephew, Gob still ached to be with Michael, so he continued his attempts to instigate a divorce. Due to these conflicted feelings, Gob experienced more moments of darkness, more frequently over the years. "I thought, even if you divorced Tracey, that you would still see George Michael sometimes, so you wouldn't really lose him, and I could see him too."
Michael did feel somewhat disappointed in Gob's selfish scheme, but he didn't really blame him. Their parents fucked up Gob so much and twisted his morals. Dad had told Gob to abandon Eve Holt and their baby, after all. "I understand."
"You do?" Gob looked at him in surprise and wondered why Michael took his confessions so well. Sex couldn't make him that carefree and easygoing, could it? Why was he okay, even with Gob saying he didn't want Michael to have those 12 years of marriage with Tracey?
Michael explained, "You see, Tracey wasn't supposed to be with me. She was supposed to be with some other guy who would appreciate her. I was supposed to be with you, Gob. You know, emancipated and going to Lake Tahoe together. But we can escape the family now. We're going to start over in Cabo, and we'll be happy."
Gob thought about it and realized that Michael gave him a pass for the whole 1990s. "So nothing we did before matters?"
Michael nodded and kissed him. "I love you." Gob made him happy, and he didn't care about anything else.
"I love you." Gob felt touched and cried in relief about Michael's forgiveness.
Michael cried in sympathy, remembering his grief over Tracey and wishing that he had invited Gob to come live with him and George Michael after the funeral. Gob couldn't put moves on him if they were living in the model home attic together, but he could have helped Michael raise his son and cheer him up with magic. It would be less lonely, and Gob could have taught Michael to have fun and relax from his stressful work. Or, if Mom and Dad kept trying to start Boyfights, they could have decided to quit the family years ago and moved away so that Michael could go back to law school. Everything would have been better if they could have been friends long ago. Michael still hoped that someday Gob could make up with George Michael at Legoland, and they could all be a family then.
For a while, the brothers just cried together, and Gob thought they would just taste each other's tears like they did at the model home, but they were still naked in bed. Soon Michael kissed him and wanted to make love.
Gob however finally noticed that the clock read 8:30 and realized how long he had stayed at the cabin. He sat up. "Wait, um, Mikey, I still have to go."
Michael was disappointed. "No, Gob. Stay a little longer. I mean, we got undressed."
Gob was tempted, but he wanted to go see Franklin on the yacht and explain everything that Michael forgave him for. Then he had to go meet Steve Holt at the Gothic Castle to rehearse the show. "I'll be late."
"Please. Just a quickie." Michael wanted comfort sex and to reaffirm their love and commitment. Their plans for the future together.
"Well, okay." The dong tea was still working, and Gob couldn't resist Michael's look. Plus, Gob remembered that he had to meet with Tony Wonder at lunch today; some sex would help him stay strong against Tony's cute beard and flirty charms. "Let me send a message to Steve, though." He reached for his phone.
"Okay." Michael waited and kissed Gob's neck while he texted.
Gob considered how much time he'd need to have sex, and also talk to Franklin, then he typed a message: "Meet you at Gothic Castle at 10. Might be late. Tell Tony Wonder." He sent it, then put down his phone and returned to kissing Michael.
They made love and were so engrossed that they never heard Tony Wonder's car driving away outside. There were neighborhoods and a busy street near the cabin, after all, so the brothers never considered that one car could be in the woods.
When they finished their quickie, Gob got dressed and put on his magic devices again. He could save time by having another shower at the yacht after he talked to Franklin. Michael started to clean up and asked if Gob could borrow Steve's car again so they could go to a laundromat soon. If he couldn't do it tonight, then they could sleep in the other bedroom until Michael had a chance to wash things. "Let me know."
"Okay, Mikey." Gob kissed him before going to the front door.
Michael smiled and murmured lovingly, "I'm crazy about you, you know?"
"I know. Me too." Gob liked the soft look in Michael's eyes after sex, and he still felt grateful that Michael had forgiven him for everything. There was no love like Michael's love. It was all that he had wanted for years.
With a final caress, Gob then got on his Segway and waved goodbye as he rode away.
Gob felt so happy and secure that he hardly noticed any tire tracks on the dirt road. He assumed they were leftover tracks from the construction workers who put together the cabin. Or maybe it was from when Lindsay dropped off Michael at the cabin. Gob just drove right over the tracks obliviously, wrecking them, so Michael never noticed them later either.
Meanwhile, Steve got the unexpected text from Gob while having breakfast with Gangee at the penthouse. He was happy that his dad was going to finally rehearse with him, and he excused himself to go feed the doves staying across the hall. He had to get the bird seed from his bedroom first.
In the text, Gob had mentioned Tony Wonder, so Steve assumed that Tony would also help them rehearse today. Then he got an idea that they could both convince Gob to make the show less blasphemous, and this time it would work. Steve tried calling Tony to discuss this, but got no answer.
So he just left a voicemail message: "Steve Holt! Hi, my Dad's gonna come rehearse at the Gothic Castle today, at 10. When you get there, maybe we can both talk him into changing the show. See you later. Bye." Grabbing the bird seed, he hurried to knock on Lucille Austero's door.
Tony Wonder didn't answer the phone because he had turned it off. He went home to get drunk and try to decide what to do about Gob and Michael.
Gob soon arrived at the docks and hurried aboard his yacht. "Guess what, Franklin? I finally told Michael about me killing Tracey."
Franklin said that was a stupid thing to do, but Gob told him how great it actually turned out this morning. Michael didn't hate him or blame him at all.
"He says it's his fault, though, 'cause he didn't appreciate her. He says God was punishing him." Gob sat down and frowned. "I'm not sure if he's right. He even said that he wasn't supposed to be with her, and we should have run away together to Lake Tahoe." Gob told Franklin about that fantasy yesterday.
Franklin said, "Well, maybe it wasn't either of you guys. Maybe Dad prayed for Tracey to die."
Gob remembered that Dad definitely tried to convince Michael to pull the plug on her while she was in the coma. Michael had yelled in outrage, and Mom finally got Dad to back off, because she did like her daughter-in-law.
Gob said, "Yeah, maybe it's not our fault." He let himself off the hook. "Anyway, Mikey was so great, and he still loves me. Doesn't hate me at all." He told Franklin about the great time they had last night making s'mores too. "I bet we can do that all the time when we go to Cabo."
After Gob took a shower and got ready to go to the Gothic Castle, he remembered that he had bad news to tell too. "Oh, Franklin, I'm sorry, but Michael doesn't want you to come see our show on Friday."
"He hates me!" Franklin complained.
"No, he just-he's just jealous 'cause he doesn't have any other friends. And, um, I think because I adopted you for the mock trial, now we're family. Maybe he thinks it would be weird to go to Cabo with you. Like if we brought George Michael along with us."
Franklin scoffed. "I'm not George Michael, and I already know about you guys."
"I know. " Gob added, "Anyway, on Friday, he's worried that you'll say something wrong, then the crowd will get mad and beat us up, like in Torrance. Yeah, Michael keeps saying that my show is offensive to Christians and the audience won't like it." He pouted a little.
Franklin ranted about political correctness and people being pussies.
Gob said, "I'm sorry, Franklin, but I'll get you a videotape of the show, so you can watch it later. Michael's going to make it part of my DVD. And don't worry, after he makes friends with the other magicians, he won't be so jealous. He'll be nice to you, I promise."
Franklin grudgingly said "Fine" for now, and Gob hugged his friend for being so understanding. "Thanks."
He then explained that he had to go rehearse with Steve Holt, then meet with Tony Wonder for lunch. "But we won't be alone. He's gonna bring some other Alliance magicians so we can talk them into meeting Michael."
Franklin warned Gob not to flirt with Tony Wonder.
"I know. I won't."
Meanwhile, Tobias drove to Hollywood that morning to film his scene in Maeby's movie. Mort Meyers arranged for him to be allowed on the lot finally, and a crew filmed the fake homeschool teacher scene, so that Tantamount Studios wouldn't get fined for violating child labor laws for two years.
Maeby tried to avoid seeing her father, by saying she was too busy with work. Which she was. She had to tell all the scriptwriters not to write her biopic like The Royal Tenenbaums. "I watched it, and it was awful! It wasn't even that funny, either."
They felt very discouraged and disappointed, but she was the boss. Besides, maybe they'd get into legal trouble for copying Wes Anderson's movie too closely.
Jeannie asked, "Can't we even have a narrator, though?"
"Yeah, Scandalmakers had one! Everybody watched that show."
Maeby considered it, then shrugged. "Okay, do it like that. Just don't make the movie too weird or anything. No scenes of Uncle Mike making out with Lindsay." She still shuddered at the thought of that.
"Sure," they agreed. "We'll just focus on your parents being so nutty and awful."
"Like your Dad being a never-nude and gay. Maybe they can get that guy Dave Atell."
Everyone nodded, and Maeby felt glad that everything would be fixed, so she could work on other stuff like iGangie 3/i. She went back to her office to make some phone calls.
However, Tobias was determined to speak to his daughter alone so that he could come out to her as gay. After his scene wrapped, he went to wait in her office because he was told that she was in various meetings.
When he found her there, he was quite surprised. "Maeby!"
Maeby tried to lie that her meeting got canceled, and that she had to do homework for the classes she was still forced to attend.
"Good, good," Tobias said, not really paying attention. "I just filmed my big scene. It was so great, although that director was very apathetic and unhelpful. Maybe you should get someone new to handle the rest of the movie?" Tobias thought he could return to re-shoot the scene if necessary.
Maeby rolled her eyes and tried to get rid of her dad again. "I'll look into that. Uh, why don't you go say hello to George Michael now? He's at-"
"No, no, I need to talk to you, Maeby. I mean, I guess I could tell him too, but he might tell his father, and I was hoping to keep this a secret. You see, I'm-" He cleared his throat and made a show of leaning in and whispering dramatically, "I'm, um, I'm actually gay."
Maeby raised an eyebrow sarcastically. As if this confession was any surprise. "And?"
"And I'm dating this wonderful guy I met at a book signing." Tobias giggled and sounded excited about going to the magic show with Dale the nurse. "It's very hush-hush, though. I came out to Lindsay already, and she's very supportive. She's dating someone too, but we're not telling other people because of the scandal, you know. Also, your grandparents are so homophobic, that I might get kicked out of the model home if they knew. So please don't tell anyone about this, including your movie writers."
"Um, okay," Maeby said. She was slightly surprised that Lindsay managed to finally find someone to date her. It was odd that Tobias was not in denial anymore too, after all these years, but Maeby shrugged it off. She was just glad not to live in Sudden Valley anymore and have to deal with her crazy family.
"And how do you feel about this, Maeby?" He spoke in his psychiatrist voice, acting flamboyantly concerned. "I'm still your father, you know, and I'll always be, even if Lindsay and I divorce later. It's not your fault, you know."
Maeby sighed and said, "I know, Dad. You two have been messed up for years, and I noticed you coming on to Uncle Mike all the time." She wondered if she should mention that she thought they were having an affair once, but decided against it, since she was wrong.
"Oh." Tobias blushed a bit, and tried to "correct" her. "No, no. I wasn't-! Maeby! Actually, Michael has been hinting to me all the time. He's secretly attracted to me. I suppose it might have been a transfer of his feelings for Lindsay onto me, after so many years of repression and incestuo-"
Maeby cut off his psychological speculation. "Actually, Dad, I'm kind of busy right now, so if you could leave me out of it..."
"Sure, sure." Tobias waved it off and changed the subject, "Anyway, how iare/i you? Are you getting along all right in your new apartment?" He wondered if George Michael was a good husband to his daughter, or if he was a repressed John Wayne Jr.
Maeby worried that Tobias wanted to be invited to visit her and George Michael's apartment. "It's okay, but not fancy or anything. And we really don't have time for guests right now."
"Of course, of course. You're on your honeymoon." He suspected that George Michael had sexual issues as well. "Just let me know if he needs any counseling at all, or if I need to re-shoot the scene when you get a new director. You don't have to settle for something that's not working."
She frowned, a little puzzled by him implying that George Michael needed therapy, and started to protest, "He's fine-"
"Sure, and I'm always here for you, no matter what." Tobias stood up and gave her an awkward hug, then said goodbye.
Maeby decided to let it go, since her father was so crazy in general and often mistaken. She closed the door after he left and locked it, then returned to her desk with a sigh. She was glad that George Michael was only a mama's boy, and nothing worse.
