Chapter 54 My daddy
Rory had fallen asleep.
Jess looked at her. Her head rested on his chest and her hand lay over his stomach. Jess smiled and opened Ayn's notebook again. Rory might be tired, but he was not. He was curious to read his part. His daughter had written him a story and he was eager to read it. Seeing her beautiful handwriting made him smile.
I have never thought that I would have my own daddy. I was five years old when he showed in our town and we went for our first ice cream. I was so happy when he told me that he is my father. I was happy that I'm going to be like the rest of the kids in my kindergarten. I loved my mom, but it was not enough. I just needed him. When he finally came in, I truly believed that the miracles could happen. My mom was happy too, but there was some saddens in her eyes that I could not understand. She cried a lot and she thought that I could not see her. But I saw her. I still remember it. It was like yesterday.
When I was turning five, something happened and I was thinking that I was going to lose my daddy again. This time he would not come back and I knew it. He was sick, very sick. When they took him away and my mom went with him, my granny said that my parents were on a trip. But I knew it. I knew it that it was not a trip. I was too little to understand what was going on exactly, but I knew that my daddy was in danger.
They took me to see him. I was so scared. He was sleeping and my mom was trying to be brave in front of me. But she was scared too. Her face was pale. Her hand, holding mine, trembled.
My mom loves my daddy, you know. I always knew that. I could not remember a time when she did not love him. When he was gone, and I was asking about him, my mom was telling me that he was a great man and she loved him very much. She never lied to me about him. She never lied to me how she felt about him.
Therefore, when she took me to see him in that hospital I was sure that she was scared. That made me scared too. It meant that my daddy was seriously ill and we both got scared for his life. I cried and asked him to wake up. I asked him to come back to me, to us. I was not sure if he would listen, but I was sure that I want him back. My mom and I wanted him back.
There was nothing that could replace his hug when he finally came back home. He hugged me and I was sure that it was he. He had listened to me and he had come back. My mom looked happy. She was so happy then.
Then we had my twin brother and sister, I love them so much, by the way. We were happy. Then daddy got worse again and I was kidnapped. It was hard times, but we pulled it off. We were strong. Our family was strong and we could count to each other.
Daddy was shot and had to get to the hospital again. I was scared. My mom was terrified. I knew that. I just needed to look at her and I could say that in a heartbeat. When he got better from the shoot, we found out that his heart was bad. No, nobody told me. I overheard that one night when my mom and daddy talked at the living room. I remember sitting on a step at the staircase and listened to their talk. I could not understand then. I just realized that it was something bad. When they told me that daddy had to go to the hospital again, I knew that it was really bad.
He went, but this time he came back quickly and I was so sure that he would never go there again. I was so sure that nothing bad would happen anymore. But then my mom got pregnant again and she had to stay in the hospital too. My brother Jake was in danger and I was scared for her. I was so scared that I hated my little brother for causing this to her. My daddy was scared too, but he held back his fear and asked of me to be strong. He asked of me to love and support my mom. She loved my brother Jake as she loved me, so I had to do it.
Jake had born and he was sick. I thought that part of his sickness was my fault. I did not want him and I thought, with my childish head, that I caused this to him. My daddy spoke to me and tried to explained to me everything, He was scared, but he cared about me enough to take a time and made sure that I could understood everything. I did and that was the reason to feel happy again.
These five years after that were good and I felt truly happy to the moment when my parents started fighting. My mom was nervous and my daddy was calm. He was unusually calm. When we, my brothers and sister, asked him what was wrong, he just smiled. He just smiled and explained to us how our mother was having a bad day and we had to be careful with her. So we did. But there was a time when I thought that I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream to her. She was my mother and stuff, but I loved my daddy too. I just felt it something wrong in her attitude towards him. I wanted to protect him from her. I know, it's stupid, but I thought in this way then.
When the crash happened, I blamed her. I put all the blame on her and I knew that if something happened to my daddy, I would never forgive her for that. I know what my daddy would tell me. He would tell me that she is my mother and I own her my love and respect. He would tell me this, because he loves her. Yeah… he loves her too much and he cares about her to the point when he will do anything to keep her safe.
He woke up and he was fine again. I was right. He asked of me to stay strong and to love and forgive to my mother. I did it. I gave her another chance. I told her that I asked my daddy to stay with us. I asked of her not to make him regret for this. She kept her word and she is now with him. She loves him so much and I can see how happy my parents are around each other. But my daddy is sick again and I'm scared – again. I could ask only one thing from him now – the same. I would ask him to stay with me – with us. I know that he loves us so much and we all love him.
Today is my birthday and this is my birthday wish daddy.
Jess finished the story and closed the notebook. He looked back at Rory and ruffled her hair. She sighed in her dream and stirred in his arms. Jess smiled. He had never thought that he would have family like this someday. He had them now and he was happy.
'Jess?' Rory stirred in her dream.
'I'm here, Ror.' Jess kissed the top of her head. 'I'm here.'
