Sorry for the delay in updates. I decided to take a few away from the laptop and get some spring cleaning done around my house and things. Real chatty chapter this time. Next chapter will be better I promise.
Apologies for all of the typos lately. I seem to be having trouble catching my mistakes.
Chapter 51
I detest all my sins, because of Thy just punishments,
My neck was stiff and killing me when my eyes lifted open into the first streaks of the morning light. There was an arm wrapped around me for the first time in weeks, the smell of leather clogging the air and a familiar part of its owner was wedged against my ass.
Juice was asleep; I could tell from the way he was breathing but his body was awake. His morning wood rubbed against me, his hand pressed down onto my stomach then his eyes flew open. "I guess I dozed off." he groaned pulling his arm away and rolling apart.
The instant his body as gone I felt like all of my joy was sucked out of the bare motel room. "I guess so." I said softly turning over to look at him.
Juice's eyes were red with the need to go back to sleep. Even rumpled he was sexy. "How you feeling?" he asked keeping a distance between our bodies but not embarrassed at all to reach down and adjust himself.
"I'm okay. No nausea yet, I guess I should get those pills filled." I raked over his chest again before caught my stare. "I should get ready for work. Its inventory day."
"Why'd you sleep here last night?" Juice wanted to know sitting up to swing his legs down to the floor.
I slid out of the blankets realizing he wasn't going to go there. "I like to be able to relax some nights. I can't do it at Fiasco's with him and Gomes. Then Mom always wants to chat lately." And my dad hates our baby I finished to myself silently.
Juice was walking towards the bathroom, splashing water over his face. "So you do this often?"
"When I can afford the luxury."
His eyes narrowed for just a second as he snagged my mouthwash; helping himself to whatever. "You good right now?"
I shrugged digging through my backpack for clothes. Pickings were getting slim when it came time to get dressed for work clothes. "I'm fine Juice."
A silence followed as he came back out pausing when I pulled my shirt over my head. I knew what he was looking, it was pretty obvious. I turned my back towards him ruining his view as I finished getting dressed. When I turned back around he had his boots on and was going for the door.
A million things ran through my mind to stop. "Wait… your card." I remembered suddenly, glad for the excuse to stop him. Anything to hold him here a few more minutes with me.
He paused as I grabbed my purse pulling it out and walking over to him in my socks. "Just let me know when the next one is. I'll make it, I swear. I don't want you to go alone if you don't have to."
It was sweet, but I knew he was fighting for the right things to say. The tension was heavy between us as our eyes met, boring into each others. "I have to schedule it. Its an ultrasound." I stared up at him knowing what as on my mind was pointless even if I had the nerve.
Juice leaned down kicking my heart rate into overdrive. He was going to do it, I realized turning my head to catch hi smooth with mine. My eyes closed as we kissed just, thought out kisses. Our lips danced against each others with a practiced ease. My toes were tingling when his tongue flickered over my bottom lip then slid a hand up to cup my chin.
A whimper escaped me. It'd been too long since we'd been this close. I couldn't stand seeing him and not doing this. It was so good, and he was sucking on my neck and I just wanted him-
My legs were lifted up suddenly, back pushed into the wall in one fluent movement. I wrapped my hands around his neck breathing heavily as his mouth worked wonders on my clavicle. It'd been way way way too long .
Juice was hard pressing into me, I couldn't help but wiggle against him. His hand started to squeeze my ass then I was planted back onto my feet suddenly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have." he breathed backing away from me shaking his head. "That shouldn't have happened."
It hurt like hell hearing him say that to me. "No, I want you." My face burned with the flush. " I mean, I still love you obviously. And I-" I fumbled for the right words. "I can't have sex with you, but god, I still want you. Bad."
Juice was keeping his facial expression a blank mask. "I won't do it again. This can't be about that." He slid the card into his kutte. "Maybe you should take the day off, see if it helps you out."
I was crumbling but I wouldn't do it in his view. "I can't take a day off from work. I'll be fine and if not-" I shrugged going towards the bathroom. "Then I'm not. I'll see you later Juice."
The door banged shut ending the entire scene from folding out.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
I slid the coffee pot back into place before sliding the mug across the counter to Nero with a smile. "Feels like its been forever since we talked."
The older gentlemen nodded blowing over the rim of the white ceramic. "I figured you would have came by to tell me if you were homeless or ya know, knocked up."
A blush fell across my cheeks as I pulled at the shirt I was wearing. Looking fat was completely gone; the bump was there. "Things have been busy around here. Plus, you know I'm back to hoofing it again."
Nero nodded sipping on the dark liquid with a grimace before grabbing the creamer to pour more into the mix. He stirred it around speaking "So I've heard. Fiasco mentioned you been staying around Oakland again."
I met his dark eyes as they searched mine for an answer to his question. It shouldn't have surprised me that anyone would think it, but it did. I shook my head slowly. "Not his kid, trust me. And nothings happening between us even close to where we were. We're just friends."
"Friends that sleep in the same bed together?"
"Did he tell you that?" I blurted out before I could stop myself grabbing the stack of napkins to fold up while we chatted.
Nero shrugged his shoulders grinning just a little bit at my obvious discomfort with the subject of Fiasco. Whatever Fiasco had told him, he wouldn't tell me. "He told me a few things."
The door jingled as a mother with two kids came in, I glanced towards them to avoid the eye contact any longer. "He's being good to me. I stayed over there the past two nights."
"Seems like he's the only one that's good to you and you shit all over it the last time." Nero said full of truth and wisdom. "How's Juice with this?"
"You ask a lot of questions, you know?" I stuck my tongue out at him childishly going to grab the order of the mom and kids. "I'll be right back."
I scribbled down their orders quickly in my chicken scratch hand writing onto the pad. It was a pretty slow day considering it was a Wednesday and only mid afternoon. If we saw a crowd it wouldn't be until the after church goes were out and about. Slow was good though, it was giving me time to catch up on the little things around here while I talked to Nero.
Nodding at him, I placed my hand on the swinging door. "I'll be right back." I promised before pushing it to swing open into the kitchen.
Something was off the second I stepped through. There was no clinging, or rustling sounds. No Rodney singing along with the radio that he insisted on having above the grill to listen to the blues on. It was devoid of food smells cooking, and the back door was wide open as I rounded the corner.
"Rodney?" I called out tentatively wondering if I should go get Nero to peek out for me. I was pretty defenseless if someone nabbed me out back.
I paused by the door frame listening hard for anything, any noises that would alert me to trouble. Rodney could be taking the trash out, I reasoned. Or maybe taking a smoke break. I peeked out nervously, then hurried out to the lot. "Rodney?"
I bent down over the older man as he hurled violently into the weeds. "How long have you been out here? This heats probably making it worse." I reached over patting his back. "C'mon, I'll help you into the bathroom."
He didn't try to speak but nodded weakly letting me help tug him to his shaky feet. He'd bragged a week ago that he'd never been sick a day in his life. Now he was so sick he couldn't even make it past the door before he was falling down to his knees. He was curling up into a ball making horrid faces when I knew I had to get someone bigger than me to help him. Whatever was wrong with him, wasn't normal.
"I'll be right back. I'm gonna get Nero to come help me." I jumped up rushing through the kitchen to the bar.
"What's wrong Linds? You look like you've been running a marathon." Nero raised his brows over his refilled cup of coffee.
"I can't get Rodney to the bathroom. He's sick or something. I don't know." I was grabbing a stack of the rags from underneath the counter. "I need you to help me."
With Nero's help I had Rodney inside of the small bathroom as his body shook and he heaved again, and again. "It-Hurts." He managed to get out shakily.
I bent down over him holding a wet rag to his forehead, genuinely concerned. Sweat was pouring off of him in between bouts of being sick. "What did you eat?" I asked.
He swallowed before answering weakly. "Some of those new fudge blocks and pralines that you said were samples."
My eyes darted through the open door to the kitchen where the gift bag from Mr. Brooks sat on top of the stainless steel shelving. I hadn't touched any of it after being sick myself for the past two days. "How many?"
"Just one of each. A bite." He turned sick again into the toilet.
I patted his back before going to look at the candy suspiciously. It'd looked normal, it'd been packaged neatly. Nothing seemed out of place with it. I opened the sack up looking over it without touching it. "Nero, I think- I think….." I looked at my friend, worry taking over. "I think this is rat poison."
His face showed his shock as he grabbed the bag from me dumping it onto the counter breaking the pieces of fudge open. Sure enough, there were miniscule chunks of the blackish green poison hidden inside. "Where did it come from?:
"A-a vendor." I whispered covering my mouth with my palm in horror at this. "I didn't say anything to Bobby yet because I hadn't tried the samples. I hadn't felt very good while I was here, and I left them sitting out in case someone else wanted to try them."
Nero was already dialing on his phone. I didn't have to ask w ho he was calling, I knew already. "I'm at the parlor. You guys need to get here. Now."
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
I tended to Rodney in the bathroom until the club was there and taking over my kitchen. It seemed too small suddenly with all of them inside it at once. Happy had the air of the barely fitting in the room along with Bobby. They were just too big.
I helped Stone get the sick man settled into the back of the van to be taken to St. Thomas before slipping back into the backdoor. We'd temporarily closed for the day until we knew what was going on, and I'd sent the girls home. No way was I risking feeding anyone else rat poison.
The others were making their way upstairs with the poisoned candies in hand when Juice broke away from the pack grabbing my wrist with wide, worried eyes. "You okay?"
Nodding, I let him envelope me into a hug. "I'm fine. Shaken up, but fine." I dared to let myself lean into him but not as sexually as I had at the motel earlier in the week. This was about comfort and being reassured.
"You didn't touch it, did you?" He asked pulling back to look at me anxiously.
"No, not with my hands. Nero did that." I was yanked back into him again for another warm hug. "I'm okay Juice."
"I know babe, I know." Juice sighed kissing the top of my head. "I should have came by here last night."
I was calming down slowly in getting a stolen moment alone with him. He'd avoided me since the motel incident and I'd honestly done the same thing to him by staying in Oakland unless I was at work. "I feel horrible. Like its my fault." I whispered into his kutte. "I was the one who left it sitting out."
"Hey." He touched my face. "You didn't know it was poison. I just- I was so scared you'd ate it."
"Juice?" Rat called through the kitchen opening. "Jax said bring her up."
I followed Juice up the narrow steps with him holding onto my elbow as if I were going to fall down at any moment. "Why am I going up?" I asked softly but he shook his head opening the door up.
The others were sitting around the table talking when we came in. The conversations halted as Juice cleared his throat. "We need you to tell us everything you remember about Mr. Brooks, Lindsey."
"Is Rodney going to be okay?" I asked looking around at all of them with the urge to burst into tears.
"Those samples were laced with enough rat poison to make someone die a long, slow, death." Jax spoke up. "If anyone else brings anything in, don't accept it."
The horror was hitting me in a slap. "He tried to get me to try one that day. He kept telling me how great they were." A few tears spilled over.
"He's dead. As soon as I find him, he's gone." Juice told me urging me to sit down with a gentle push on my lower back. "He knew who you were."
I reached down instinctively covering my stomach with my hand. One piece of fudge and jellybean would've died. "How?"
"We're thinking they've made the connection. You used to spend a lot of time with Lin and his crew. Now they know someone survived the shooting, and he saw that crow." Jax explained with serious blue eyes. "You gotta tell us everything, every detail."
"He-He was Asian. Middle aged. He looked familiar but I'm not sure if that's just because like you said, I spent a lot of time with the Triads." I wrapped my arms over my bump surprising myself with this maternal protectiveness. "He um, he had a tattoo here." I rubbed the inside of my thumb. "He gave me a business card too, I have it in my office. He told me to call him if I wanted to place an order."
Juice heard my voice starting to crack, and moved closer to touch my shoulder. "Calm down, we're going to take care of it."
"He was in a Mercedes." I remembered suddenly; I'd walked him out and spotted the sleek black convertible.
Bobby was taking notes while the others nodded as I talked. Rat was frowning at me with a look I couldn't quite read, and I sniffled again. "Why would they try to kill me with rat poison? They shot the other girls."
All eyes went to Juice at the same time but no one spoke what I suddenly realized. Rat poison for a rat's old lady.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOSOASOASOSOASOAS
Juice's POV
"How is she?" Chibs asked as I stepped back into the parlor after seeing that Lindsey was safely tucked away into the passenger seat of Wendy's SUV.
I cracked my knuckles out of habit, shrugging my shoulders beneath my heavy kutte. "She's upset. No one's ever tried to kill her before."
I watched the taillights of the SUV go down the streets wishing, no knowing, that it should have been me taking her someplace safe for the night. By now, Brooks as he was going by, would know that she hadn't eaten the candy. I'd done a quick sweep of the place revealing that he hadn't left a big but he'd obviously been doing his homework somehow.
"The lass is stronger than you give 'er credit for Juicy." Chibs offered me a swig from the bottle in his hand.
"That she is." Bobby agreed coming over with his joint between two fingers while the others double checked the kitchen just to reassure there wasn't anything else that wasn't supposed to be in there.
I knew she was strong, she'd survived being homeless and a prostitute for months before I ever found out. She knew how to take care of her physical needs, it was the emotional ones that had me worried. The stress wasn't good for her or the baby considering she was having problems. "I should have been keeping a better eye on things."
Tig shook his head from his perch on top of the counter. "Nah man, you didn't know someone would go after your old lady."
"I should have. I killed Henry fucking Lin. I should have known there'd be a repercussion." But I hadn't been thinking this far ahead. I hadn't stopped for a second to consider what might happened to Lindsey if someone wanted to truly hurt me. She was all I had, and now the Chinese knew that.
"Just like Jax should have known someone would be sending a box of dead crows over to Gemma's a few days ago?" T.O pointed out rubbing his goatee as he gazed at me. "We can't be everywhere Juice."
"She's pregnant man, I just- shit." I ran my hand over my face. "She's been staying alone, now I'm starting to rethink that being separated was a good idea."
Happy was spearing pickles with a fork straight out of the economy sized jar, eating them without a single sour face. "I thought you said she lived at home bro."
I hadn't told them everything about my personal life, because I'd been hoping that for once something could stay that way; personal. I shook my head slowly digging my cigarettes out to try and calm my fraying nerves. "She lives there technically but I guess there's some racial tension." I threw them all a look that said it all. Her racist dad was pissed with her about fucking a spic. "She stays at Charming Inn a couple nights a week by herself to get some peace and quiet. Maybe one or two in Oakland."
Then the look was returned with ones of obvious surprise. "Fiasco's place?" Bobby asked snuffing out his joint. "You're cool with that?"
"No, not really I'm not. But I guess I don't really get a say in anything right now. Besides, I'm starting to think maybe she's better off staying with my nemesis than in a cheap motel room."
"Or." Jax was coming out of the kitchen ripping his gloves off after our search for the poison. "You could go straight to the source of the issue here."
"He'll never speak to me." I knew without a doubt that Lindsey's dad would rather walk on hot coals than even be in my presence. "She wouldn't even let me drop her off from work because of him and his jackass ideas."
Jax was pulling his kutte back on, stuffing his arms through. "We're meeting with Otis in a bit. We can give them a heads up, tell them to keep an eye out around there. The more eyes on the girls the better. I sent Stone and Rat with Wendy and Lindsey but they can't be together all day."
He had a point there. Lindsey also wouldn't always be at Fiasco's, some nights she really did spent at home with her parents. If her dad knew anything was going on, he'd be on his toes ready to annihilate a threat the minute it popped up. He was a big guy, more than capable of protecting his daughter.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOAASOA
The house we went to looked just as shitty and rundown as it had the last time we were over here. The AB certainly didn't believe in putting their cash towards nice things. There were rusted out vehicles, beaters, and only one shiny new Mustang.
"Hey, keep cool." Jax told me as we broke away from the others to walk towards where Otis was waiting with a few of his other guys.
I was looking around the crowd of skinheads, searching for the one I needed to speak to. "I'm good. He's a dick but I think we got it outta our system last time we saw each other."
"You're early." Otis greeted us friendly enough; he was the polar opposite of the guy he'd replaced. He was a racist sure, but a polite one.
"Need to have a word with you on some personal shit." Jax explained then motioned for me to come forwards. "One of my guys here has a taste of for white trash pussy. Knocked her up."
Otis's eyes were narrowing just at the sight of me. He knew who I was, what had happened. "And?"
I stepped up holding my hands away in a peace gesture. "Lindsey Jennings. She's your guy Larry's daughter. My old lady."
Realization was dawning on him now. "Shit." he cursed then looked right where I had missed him. Larry was standing with the others, Darby close by, frowning at me. He moved the second Otis beckoned him closer.
"We just want some reassurances that nothing happens to Larry or Lindsey because he couldn't wrap his shit up." Jax told him putting it as bluntly as he could. No sense in sugar coating things when they sat the way that they did.
"Wouldn't touch a hair on that little girl's head." Otis said just as Larry made it over walking slowly.
I recognized his slow walk for what it was, a way to keep his breathing controlled. I nodded at him holding my hand out. He stared at it before shaking Jax's instead "Somethin you need from me boss?"
"These guys are telling me something new. Lindsey's knocked up by this one." He pointed at me with a look at Larry. "And they want to make sure everything stays good with the brotherhood. Anything you want to tell me?"
"What happens at my place ain't nobody's business. 'Specially that wetback that threw her out." Larry shrugged with the same disdain and hate as the last time we'd saw each other.
"I never threw her out!" I exclaimed before I could stop myself. "She left on her own after I found out she'd-after we had an argument."
Jax nudged me in the side. "Old ladies should their place right?" he seized Larry up. "But we're not here to fight. We just need to make sure things are okay there, I told you this was personal business."
"Why's it matter?" Larry asked without a hint of emotion. "
I couldn't take his attitude anymore. "Someone tried to poison her. We're handling it but we need to know you'll keep an eye out on her when she's there. She won't come to my place."
"Can't blame her after you told her you were through with her after knocking her up like a common whore." He shot back angrily. "What kinda man does that shit? Now she's in trouble because of your sins?"
"I'm wondering why I'm just now hearing about this mixed kid in your house." Otis spoke up over Larry's raising voice.
Larry's jaw tightened then flexed. "Was deciding what to do about it. Didn't want to be a burden on you. I didn't figure it counted as race traitor if he paid for it."
The anger hit me. I lunged towards him but Jax was fast and expecting it to happen. "She's an old lady you asshole. You know she is."
"Then why isn't she with you?" he retorted back just as venomously. "And why aren't you protecting her from goddamn poison? You need the AB to do your job for you?"
"I think that what we should all worry about is keeping enough eyes on her so that nothing else happens. The common fact here is that you all want to see her alive; pregnant or not." Said the voice of reason that was Jax. "
"I haven't even saw her in a couple of days. Said she was staying with some friend of hers." Larry sighed letting his guard drop. "Can't protect her if she's not home."
I tilted my neck slightly angling back. "She was with me on Monday. She said she was at home last night?"
Larry smirked obviously amused. "She lied then didn't she? To both of us ,'cuz last I checked I told her if she was with you she could get out of my damn house."
"You gonna help us keep your daughter alive or not?" Jax snapped losing his patience.
"I guess I might." He agreed but his eyes were saying what his voice wasn't. He'd destroy anything in his path that threatened to hurt his daughter; including me. "Stay away Juice. I'm warning you. I'll let it go this time, next time she's out fucking a brown faggot, she's out."
I started to speak again but Jax shook his head pushing me back. "We're good here then." He told them. "I'll get Chibs and we can get to the real business at hand."
He waited until we were retreating to tell me "When did you grow a pair?"
"Prison. Guess you can say I'm sick of being someone's bitch all the time." I locked eyes with him. "And no one's gonna hurt her."
