Ugh, I've had a real shitty week. Fuck, everything's just been shitty recently. Fatass, I swear, I have never been more tempted to murder that little fuck. After that fuck-up in Israel, practically the whole world regards me as 'Fart boy', and I fucking hate it.
All my fucking life, I've been told not to be a selfish prick, and to put others before me. And when I fucking do, suddenly I'm a major douche? What the hell am I meant to do? Just nothing? And of course, he just had to be a fucking ass-crap whilst doing it, acting all 'Oooh, look at me, being all sweet and innocent!'
Then again, I'll admit I went a bit far too, but still! It's that fucker's fault I ended up like this anyway! Who knows, maybe today will be the day he finally gets hit by an oncoming truck.
I mean, my mom hasn't changed her expression since! All day, every day, she just stands there with this look of horror. She just stands there…washing dishes…or making food…or just…looking horrified. She walked in on Ike watching Dora the Explorer porn, and she just walked away.
Honestly, I'm pissing myself knowing that once she reverts to normal, I'm absolutely fucked.
So, as you can tell, this incident is still the major focus of shittiness in my life right now. Shitty thing after shitty thing seems to have come from it. You know what else came from it? That fucking awful movie, Sharknado.
Haven't heard of Sharknado? Well, where the hell have you been the past couple of months? To sum it up, it's a crappy movie that defies logic, has shitty CGI sharks, and a pretty crap plot. It's basically a tornado that picks up a shit ton of sharks and flings them across California, and somehow, the sharks still live, and eat people, and pretty much cause a fuck ton of shit.
Now add in crappy CGI sharks that have a real talent for falling directly onto their prey, and an endless desire for humans! Stir in some characters with a dash of family dramas, season with chainsaws and bake for half an hour, to get yourself some Sharknado.
Where do I even start? I could go through the plot, but there's hardly much point in that. Basically, there's this guy, and some chick who work near the beach, the sharks start raining to the sound of 'It's Raining Men' by the Weather Girls. Just kidding about the last part, but it's pretty damn fitting. You can imagine it, can't you?
So, they drive around, trying to save people randomly on their way to find that guy's ex-wife and daughter. During this, some of their little crew die. It would be sad, if their deaths weren't so fucking stupid that the only painful thing about it is your sides after you've finished watching it. One guy is about to kick a shark's ass, and then he suddenly dies when a fucking shark crushes him. Of course, for a movie as extreme as Sharknado, one shark isn't enough. So then another shark finishes him off! Pretty much most of the cast dies like this – Being crushed by a falling shark. At least it's a cool way to die.
And then one guy just flies through the roof! Whoosh, and they're gone! Or when one guy saws a fucking shark in half with a chainsaw.
So, when they find the guy's ex-wife and daughter, the ex-wife's obnoxious toothpaste-advert jerk fiancé appears, acts like a douche, and then is suddenly eaten by a shark. After that? It's suddenly revealed that the guy…has a son! So now, they go after that kid, and stop the Sharknado!
So, how does this group plan to stop the Sharknado of doom? Like any action movie, with bombs! Yes, they try to blow up a tornado…filled with sharks. Funniest part? It fucking works! Of course, one chick falls out of the helicopter, and falls headfirst into the shark's mouth.
I mean, wow.
She fell in such a perfect manner right into its mouth. Heck, as a screenshot, you could count it as a work of art. Seriously, those sharks appear so fucking well angled. They're like deadly ballerinas, with that poise. What's the sequel gonna be? Sharkarina – The Black Shark?
The best part? The guy jumps into the fucking shark's mouth, with a chainsaw, and saws his way out of the shark's stomach. Even more amazing? That was the shark who ate that girl, who he pulls out, alive.
It was a crappy movie so bad, it was almost good. The lack of logic and perfectly poised sharks were stupid, but those pathetic deaths made the movie a pretty damn good comedy, intentional or not. It was a shitty movie, but shitty in a good way, unlike my life at the moment.
So, if you happen to get hit by a Sharknado, despite the logic (Much like M-preg, which yes, I'm still going on about) fucking run. Those things are the deadly ballerinas of the sea, and they can crush you like a fucking grape.
A/N: WOO! Another Friday update!
So, as for the first part, it refers to 'Ginger Cow', incase you haven't seen it. Man, that episode was painful for me to watch. I mean, Kyle was freakin' on the verge of breaking down! Poor kid.
Mini Rant from your Authoress, Cookie – AHHHHHH! NOOOOO! , WHY? WHY CHANGE YOUR LAYOUT! I WAS ONLY GETTING USED TO THE LAST ONE, AND NOW IT'S ALL DIFFERENT! PROFILE PICTURES ARE IN CIIIIIRCLES! IT CUTS OUT HALF THE IMAAAAAGE! AND GOOGLE+ COMMENTS ON YOUTUBE, OH LORDY WHHHYYY?
Ah, sorry about that. It's all good now (And by all good, I mean I'll just continue to scream internally)
Also, shout-out to Heidi28! Few people actually review on every chapter of a long ass story, and I can't blame them. I don't review each chapter either, if it's really long. But this chick here, has reviewed every chapter so far! That deserves some recognition! Hell, all of you do! Thank you to everyone who's supported this from the beginning and those who have taken on the task of tackling this thing as it grows ever larger. All your reviews on the ending made me tear up a little!
Guest Reviews:
Guest: Sup, fellow eater of the bricked cheese!
Marth: Hold the phone…That suspicious typed laughter makes me suspicious if you happen to be Mysterion. Then again, who IS Mysterion? Heheh, but you're right, and I'm glad someone else can see it's starting to loose its sparkle.
Last but not least, a shoutout to my readers in the Phillipines! Traffic graphs are a magical thing, really. It always amazes me how many different people in different countries read this! But as for your folk of the Phillipines, I hope you guys are doing ok!
Have a fabulous day!
