A/N: I dont own Twilight
Chapter Fifty-Four: Charli
Charli.
I heard a familiar voice whispering quietly and it sounded like it was coming from far away. I laid completely still waiting for the sound to come again. I could hear so many sounds around me. Sounds that were familiar and others that were so alien I began to wonder where I was.
A soft clicking sound near my ear made me suck in a breath and hold it. I kept my eyes closed listening. The clicking continued and curiosity finally forced me to open my eyes. Directly in front of my nose was a small beetle that was crawling over the dark soil, his legs making the clicking noises as he took slow and deliberate steps, carefully choosing his path.
How could I hear a beetle's footsteps?
I held my breath as I looked down at my hands expecting to still see snowy feathers. I exhaled loudly with relief when I saw my dirty un-manicured hands that were red with dried blood.
Jacob.
The memory stabbed me in the heart so fiercely that I felt my body instinctively curl into the fetal position. I felt warm tears begin running down my cheeks and I turned my face so that it was pressed into the wet earth. My limbs were paralyzed as grief washed over my body.
Jacob.
The emptiness was so unbearable I wished I could just go to sleep and never wake up. Jacob was dead, why didn't they take me too? Why was I spared? So I could suffer this suffocating pain for every day of the rest of my life? I would rather be dead.
Charli? Again the voice whispered sounding more urgent this time. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had heard the voice before. My eyes grew wide when it hit me.
"Edward!" I called out tentatively.
Charli, where are you? How far did you go?
"I have no idea, I was hoping you could tell me that."
Wait, you can hear me? Edward asked incredulously the shock in his tone obvious.
"Well duh. Where are you?"
Try thinking your answers Charli, they will be easier for me to hear and understand. Edward's suggestion left me more confused than I already was. I just wanted to get home so I could crawl into bed and never wake up again. Maybe I could convince my dad to move back to Illinois. . .
"Edward I really don't understand what you are trying to tell me." I said frustrated. "Please just come get me so I can go home. I want to go to sleep and never wake up again. I can't even breathe."
My words brought the pain back in an unforgiving wave. My body was wracked with uncontrollable sobs.
Charli, can you please tell me where you are? Edward begged urgently.
"Tell you where I am? Aren't you here? Can't you see me?" I asked.
No I'm not and I can't. Now, please think your answers, I can only pick up bits and pieces when you talk out loud like that.
Fine, have it your way. Is this really happening? Am I dead?
You are not dead. I need you to think about the last thing you saw. Think hard.
I thought about the sight of the trees far below me, the mountains jutting high into the clouds, the ridge that I finally landed on clumsily knocking myself out for who knows how long. It was almost dark now.
Wait, how can you hear me? How can I hear you? Why doesn't it hurt? I asked in a rush realizing what was happening. Edward couldn't read my mind without it hurting me so badly I could barely stay conscious. Now we were talking back and forth like we had telepathic walkie talkies.
I have no idea Charli. But we can figure that out later, right now we need to find you. I think I know where you are so sit tight. We are coming for you. No matter what, do not move. Got it?
No problem. I said sleepily.
Don't go to sleep. I might need to talk to you to find you.
I heard Edward's words but I ignored them. If sleep wanted to find me, I would let it. Sleep was the only thing that kept the pain at bay. I felt my eyelids droop heavily, and my breathing become steady and slow.
Darkness.
"Over here! Hey Jasper, over here!"
I could hear the voices but I didn't want to wake up. I knew they had found me and I should sit up and call out to them, tell them I was unharmed, but I couldn't. . . I wouldn't. I just lay there like a broken doll, not feeling anything but my own paralyzing pain.
"Is she in human form?" I heard someone ask and I wondered briefly what they were talking about but I remembered that I didn't really care so I drifted back off into the tolerable numbness.
"Yeah, she is. She looks pretty bad Edward."
Edward. Edward had found me.
"Let me examine her before we move her."
I felt icy cold hands on my neck and then my arms and legs. Edward took my pulse and examined my body for broken bones. He pressed down onto my ribs gently and then with more force.
"Does that hurt?" he asked me. I let my eyes flutter open slightly.
"I don't feel anything." I whispered and then fell back into my trance.
"Ok, we can move her." Edward said confidently.
Someone was stroking my hair gently.
"Edward, please give me your shirt so I can dress her in something." I heard Bella's soft voice above my head.
Dress me in something? I wondered lazily.
I felt cool hands pull sleeves onto my arms and then button down the front.
"She's covered in blood and dirt. Is she hurt badly?" Bella asked pulling my limp body into her lap, still stroking my hair.
"Not anymore. She's completely healed." Edward sounded excited and I wondered how he could be excited about anything right now when Jacob was dead.
That was when the pain came back, hitting me full force in the chest forcing me to double over and gasp for air.
"We need to get her home." Bella said worriedly. "If she can't control her emotions she is going to phase again and who knows when we might get her back."
I felt arms wrap themselves around my shoulders and behind my knees and I could tell that I was being lifted and pulled against a strong marble body. I rested my head on the granite shoulder and breathed deeply surprised by the sickeningly sweet smell that filled my nostrils. It was familiar only more potent than I had ever remembered.
Keep your eyes closed. Edward's quiet voice echoed in my mind like a whisper.
I sighed deeply and felt fat tears spill over my cheeks and soak into his thin black t-shirt as I nodded into his shoulder and squeezed my eyes shut.
We were running. I could feel the cool wind at my neck, blowing my hair so that it covered my face and flew over Edward's shoulders waving behind him as he ran like a silky black flag. Despite his warning I opened my eyes and through my curtain of hair saw flashes of trees and open sky and trees again. It reminded me of the dream I had earlier about flying. I smiled at the memory wishing I could just open my arms and fly away from here and never come back.
Oh no you don't. Edward said in warning. I felt his arms tighten around me protectively.
No I don't what? I asked annoyed at the interruption of a perfectly good daydream that was doing a spectacular job of dulling the ripping and tearing pain.
Eyes closed. He demanded. I felt my eyelashes brush my cheeks as I squeezed my eyes closed like an obedient child.
***
"Is she still asleep?" Alice whispered close to my face, her nauseatingly sweet breath causing my stomach to turn. I was not asleep but I didn't feel like talking or moving so I kept my eyes shut tightly. Edward shifted me in his arms and I could hear a door opening and closing and I assumed we had finally arrived at Cullen's house.
"She's been in and out the whole way." Edward said quietly. "Is he upstairs?"
"Yes, he's in your old room."
I had no idea who 'he' was and I didn't really care. I assumed it was Carlisle waiting to give me a good physical and hopefully some pain medicine. I would welcome a large dose of whatever would stop me from feeling anything.
"Don't you think I should clean her up first?" Alice asked and I wondered how bad I really looked.
"No, I think it would be better if I just brought her straight upstairs."
I could feel the incline as Edward lugged me up the stairs and I couldn't help but marvel at his strength. He had just carried me like a helpless baby down a mountain and who knows how many miles through thick forest and he wasn't even winded.
"I need to lie down." I whispered hoarsely. "I want to sleep."
"We're almost there." He said his voice sympathetic.
I opened my eyes just as Alice pushed open a familiar looking wooden door. As my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting I could make out the shape of the enormous bed in the middle of the room and I immediately gasped as a raw and despairing wave of pain knocked me square in the stomach. It was the same bed that I shared with Jacob the day he saved me from drowning at First Beach. They couldn't put me in that bed, I wouldn't let them.
With my hands balled into fists I struggled wildly in Edwards arms.
"No!" I rasped desperately. "No, I can't! Please let me go!"
I kicked my legs until they slipped out of Edward's arms and touched the ground. He still had a good grip on my waist and one hand clasped my arm firmly.
"Charli, stop!" Edward demanded holding me more tightly. I could feel my body shaking violently as the pain washed over me like hot searing lava.
"You have to stop her Edward, she is going to phase." I recognized the voice of Sam Uley and my head snapped in his direction. He was watching me expectantly, his arms crossed over his enormous chest.
"I can see that. But there isn't much I can do now is there?" Edward's tone was irritated. I growled under my breath and pounded my fists on his stone chest, knowing that I wasn't going to hurt him, but unable to stop myself.
"Put her next to him." I heard Bella suggest quietly.
"What?"
"Pick her up, and lay her beside him. Don't you see Edward; she doesn't know he's alive."
Stop hitting me Charli, let me take you to him. I heard in my head.
I ignored Edward's voice, I didn't want to see Carlisle, I didn't want to see anyone. I wanted to sleep forever. I continued to struggle with him, trying to pull out of his grasp, when I felt someone come up behind me and pluck me from his arms like I was a little toy. They were cold arms, and they were thick and unforgiving.
Emmett…I thought. I wrenched my head around and found myself staring into the normally smiling face of Emmett.
"Stop being an idiot." He commanded. I immediately stopped flailing and collapsed against him, letting the tears flow freely. "Here, let me show you something."
I wasn't sure what he was going to show me, but I knew that I could care less.
He carried me over to the bed and I could feel the bile rising in my throat, but I didn't fight. I let him lay me down on the cool sheets and lower my head onto the soft as clouds pillow.
I stared at the ceiling trying not to feel, and wishing I were dead. No matter how hard I tried to push them away, unwanted memories started creeping into the corners of my mind. The familiar feel of the bed and the smells of the room brought them flooding back like a levy breaking in my mind. I closed my eyes and I could almost feel Jacob in the bed next to me. I turned to my side and curled into the fetal position planning on not moving ever again.
"I am so sorry Jacob. I hope you can forgive me." I whispered, the words catching in my throat as I sobbed. I imagined that I felt him squeeze my hand reassuringly and a mournful cry escaped my lips. It wasn't fair; he wasn't supposed to leave me yet.
I felt my body shaking again, vibrating, responding to the grief that was crippling me. I didn't fight it, I wanted to slip away again, and I wanted to forget. I could feel cold hands pressing down on me and Alice's musical voice trying to sooth me.
I ignored all of them and felt myself slipping further and further into the darkness. Then there was warmth. The icy hands were gone replaced by pressing heat that wrapped itself around me tenderly. I felt my trembling body shudder once and then rest still and peacefully. I breathed deeply and hummed happily as the familiar scent of musk mixed with the wind and the earth filled my nostrils. I must be dreaming. Carlisle must have given me a sedative.
"Charli." The voice was so faint and so gruff it sounded like a growling animal. My eyes opened abruptly and a jolt of electricity shocked me straight in my heart. I sucked in a breath and held it until it felt like my lungs were going to explode.
I slowly rolled over, my body stiffly twisting in the crisp cotton sheets until I felt warm flesh under my fingertips. I opened my eyes carefully unsure if the sight of my hands spread across a familiar muscled chest was real or just a drug induced fantasy.
I smiled softly and spread my fingers wide and pressed my palms more firmly into the warm Jacob-ghost. I decided to let myself believe for even a few seconds that he really was here, my Jacob. If I tried hard enough I could even feel his heartbeat under my palm, and the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed air in and out as if he were still alive.
Like a breeze blowing through my head I felt the fog clear rapidly and abruptly. I could see every color more brightly than I ever had before and every sound and smell was suddenly so tangible that I felt like I could reach out and touch it.
My face froze in a look of shock and then I could feel my lips turning upwards into a smile. His heart was beating under my palm and his chest was rising and falling with each breath because he was alive.
The tears came freely as I dove into him, curling my quaking body against his. He grunted a quiet complaint but tightened his arms around me as I nuzzled myself into his chest covering every inch of his shoulders and neck with soft kisses. Shyly I looked up through my eyelashes, my bottom lip sandwiched between my teeth as I bit down nervously.
I searched for his warm brown eyes, eager to feel the familiar and intoxicating buzz of our connection. However, as our eyes met my body was rocked with such a shock it felt like I had been struck by lightning. I suddenly felt like the ground had been ripped out from underneath me and I couldn't decipher up from down and left from right. Like a scene straight from a sci-fi movie everything in my peripheral vision blurred like it was flying past me at lightening fast speeds while my body remained stationary, my eyes fixated on the one thing that could make my heart stop beating while simultaneously stealing the breath straight from my lungs – Jacob Black.
I was so entranced by his eyes and the flow of energy passing through our bodies that I became terrified that even the smallest distraction would break our connection. I could feel my muscles aching as they remained tensed and unmoving. I blinked several times trying to clear my head and gulped for breath as the odd feeling continued to swirl around in my body pulling me closer and closer to him. It became nearly impossible for me to feel where my body began and where Jacob's ended. Breath for breath and heartbeat for heartbeat, we were becoming one body and spirit. I didn't understand what was happening, and judging by the shocked expression on his face, he didn't either.
