He has her back pressed against her door as soon as the durasteel slides shut. He's kissing her deeply, hungrily, as his hands disappear under her skirt. He smooths his fingers along the silken skin of her thighs and he grasps her firmly, holding her against his throbbing, aching length. Being able to touch her like this has him completely in her thrall.
Kylo slides his hands further up her thighs until his large hands cup her luscious, bare bottom and he lifts her as her legs wrap around his waist. He forcefully grinds his painfully hard cock against her, and Maker, she feels glorious.
His restraint has been waning steadily since she'd woken him by stroking him through his trousers. His little minx has been teasing him since then. Making sure to brush against him just so, holding his eyes as she'd changed from her hospital gown into the dress Kes brought. She'd taken her time too, making sure he saw all of her.
He's been at least partially hard for hours and, stars, he needs her.
She moans into his mouth and writhes against him. He'd already known she's not wearing anything under her dress because she'd actually tucked the bits of lace into his belt instead of don them. It had taken all of his control to keep him from throwing her down on her med bay bed and she'd known it.
"Please," she begs as she rolls her hips. He groans helplessly. He wants to take his time, but she's making that impossible.
He tries to slow down, holding his forehead against hers, panting harshly. "Rey, you're killing me."
"Then let go, stop trying to control this. I want you, I need you. I want to feel you deep inside me."
He whimpers in need and she pulls him closer with her lithe legs. He can feel how hot she is through his trousers.
"I missed you so much. Force, Rey I never thought I'd feel you like this again," he moans as she keeps drawing herself against his hardness.
"Then feel me, please Kylo, you've made me wait long enough." Her pupils are huge with desire and oh how he wants to give her what she wants.
Kylo had imagined long, slow lovemaking if she'd come back to him. But she's frantically rubbing herself against his erection and he's instinctively meeting each undulation of her hips. He can't take much more of this.
"Please," she begs.
He growls his surrender and reaches between them, freeing himself. Her dress is already bunched up around her middle. He captures her eyes and he sheaths himself within her in one swift movement. Only after he's buried deep in her core does he realize he hadn't prepared her at all. The Bond is flowing and his eyes snap to hers.
"I've been ready for you since last night. Now stop thinking and take me dammit."
"Anything you want. Everything you want," he purrs as he pulls back and thrusts into her, causing her to ride up the door.
"Yes," she hisses.
How could he have forgotten how perfect she feels? She's so vibrant and blessedly responsive as he drives home. Maker, he won't last long.
"Good, I want you out of control," she pants.
He sets a punishing rhythm, his eyes searing into hers. She's so open to him and he's soaring, diving, reveling in all of her. She's burning away the anguish with her body and her soul. He can't believe he almost lost her.
"Oh Force you make me feel so alive!" she howls. He loves how loud she gets. Her sounds of pleasure probably echo down the corridor.
He keeps her trapped in his gaze and her face is contorted in ecstasy. Her eyes grow wide and he feels her surprise as her orgasm comes on her fast. Her pleasure twines with his and now he's the one to start shouting. Holy hell she feels so impossibly good. He'll never get enough of the feeling of her walls shuddering around him.
She's holding onto him for dear life when she steals her eyes from him, clenching them shut as another wave overtakes her.
"No! Look at me," he demands.
She immediately complies and he falls into her eyes' hazel depths. He continues to push into her frantically, he is complete, he is whole, now that he is within her.
It only takes a few more thrusts and he's calling out her name, shuddering as he spends himself inside her. This blissful moment, where all that there is is Rey and her love, holds him close. Her eyes are round and her lips parted. The aftershocks of his release are receding and he's beginning to think clearly again.
He realizes he has her pinned against her door, her dress askew, his trousers now hanging awkwardly, and he flinches in shame. He'd meant to undress her slowly, rediscover her treasures one by one. Instead he'd taken her against the door, like some sort of animal. He might as well have bent her over, for all the respect he's shown her.
Rey frowns. "Stop that. We have all the time in the world for slow. I needed you now. I wanted this. I begged for it." She pushes him away from her gently as he slips from her and she finds her feet again. "Carry me to bed like I know you wanted to."
He pauses, looking down on her before realizing she's quite sincere. He sweeps her into his arms and holds her for a moment, simply looking at her beloved face.
"Now we'll be able to concentrate," she says with a knowing smile.
He smirks and does as he's told, carrying her off to bed.
He helps her from her wrinkled dress and shucks his own clothing quickly while she toes off her shoes. He rather liked her in just her low heels. It gives him ideas.
Rey comes up to him and wraps her arms around him and he gasps at the feel of her naked body against his.
"I missed this," he rasps.
"Me too," she says as she pulls him towards her bed. Soon they're wrapped around each other and he's really not sure how he's going to find it in himself to leave her for the bridge tomorrow morning. Perhaps he'll inform Hux he'll require more time. He did tell her he'd keep her in bed for days …
Kylo begins to kiss her languidly, enjoying how good she feels. He's missed everything about her, but he thinks it might be kissing her he's missed the most. Perhaps it's because he's only ever shared it with her, he's not sure. All he knows is that it feels beyond intimate to capture her lips with his.
She pulls from him and he panics, but then she's shifting and resting her head against his chest. Holding her close like this, feeling all of that amazing, soft skin, it beats back the desperate fear of losing her.
Rey trails her fingers along his bare chest, and he's lost in the beautiful sensation of her touching him. He's missed every single little thing about her, from the feel of her hands to the sound of her sighs. "Oh, Rey ...I was so scared."
"I'm here. Right here."
"I can't go through that again. I just … I can't," he says as he nuzzles her crown.
"I know. You won't." She places her palm against his heart and he feels as the energy flows between them, just as it's meant to. She's truly here and a bit more of his fractured soul is healed.
"Tell me more about what happened while I was … away."
He stills. There's no way he's sharing what happened on Eshara right now. He knows she'll be angry. Instead he decides it's time to tell her about Lann Tren.
"Well … I did have to make some decisions while you were … unavailable. I hope you won't be upset."
She shifts and looks up at him. "What sorts of decisions?"
"Do you … do you remember about your mother?" She nods. "I … had her brought here."
Rey sits up quickly and angles her body to look at him. "My mother? She's here?" Her sudden absence feels like a rip along his heart.
He holds her eyes steadily. "Yes. She's here."
She begins to tremble. "Oh Force," she whispers. Her eyes fill with fear and a hope he knows will likely go unfulfilled.
"I had hoped that having her sit with you might have helped bring you back."
"I thought I was dreaming that … I remember bits and pieces."
"She visited with you every day."
"She did?" He face brightens and he realizes he's made it sound as if Lann Tren has had some sort of maternal inclination.
"Wait, please … I don't want you to get the wrong idea. She didn't do it on her own. I …" He looks away. This will hurt her. He takes Rey's hand. "I made a bargain with her."
Rey blinks rapidly. "Bargain?"
"She's still addicted to spice. I arranged with her that she would receive spice in return for sitting with you."
"You … you bribed my mother? To spend time with me?" Pain lances across her face and she pulls her hand away.
He makes a fist to keep from snatching her hand back. He sees immediately how wrong he was to do that, how he's made a horribly difficult situation that much worse.
"I never … I didn't know what else to do … nothing was working. She was here, I thought … I thought it might help," he offers, knowing how hollow his excuses sound.
"What if I'd known she was there?! I would have woken up thinking she wanted me and …" For a moment he'd been almost relieved by her fire, but she's already shrinking into herself and looking anywhere but him.
"I know, I'm sorry. I was desperate; I was willing to do anything." Just like he's willing to do anything for her to just settle back in his arms.
"Even hold Lann Tren hostage with her addiction, make her pretend to care?" she asks sarcastically.
"Yes! Dammit, yes. I was losing you!" He sits up, matching her tense body language.
"You had no right," she says lowly.
Right? Right? She's his! "I had every right! You were dying! There's nothing I wouldn't do to save you."
"So you thought, what, making my mother pretend to care would bring me back?"
"I hoped."
"Then where's Leia? She was far more a mother to me than Lann Tren ever has been," she spits.
He holds her eyes then lets out a slow breath before quietly saying, "I tried."
That takes the heat from her in an instant. "What?" she breathes out.
"Remember, we have no idea where the Resistance is. I sent out a message to the whole galaxy begging for Leia Organa to come. I promised her safe passage and that she would be free to leave at any time. She never responded."
Rey's brows knit and her expression grows even more wounded.
"She never responded?"
"For all I know, she never even received it. We had to broadcast on all frequencies because all other channels were lost when the Resistance disappeared." He's certain the generals have all sorts of thoughts on the subject.
"Oh."
"I only sent it a few days ago, she might get it still. But it doesn't matter now."
"Of course it does! You have to let her come. If she responds. Please, please let her come," Rey pleads as she puts her hands on his chest, leaning close.
It's his turn to pull away. "I … don't know about that." It was one thing when Rey was dying, but another matter entirely now that she's awake. He can't exactly play host to the leader of the primary terrorist organization of the galaxy without a very good reason. The First Order is slowly accepting the Supreme Leader's lady, but they wouldn't understand this.
"Kylo, please. You could … you could try to make peace. Sit down with her, find an end to this war." She's gleaming with hope, but she's being exceptionally naive.
"No, that's not going to happen," he says with finality.
"But, surely there's a solution." She's bright with excitement.
"The solution is that she stops her ridiculous crusade!" he snarls.
Rey startles then glares at him. "She wants freedom and democracy. It's not a ridiculous crusade!"
He scrubs his face with his hands in frustration. "Rey, you don't understa-"
"No! It's you who doesn't understand! You have all this power and you squander it!"
It's suddenly all too much for him. Just yesterday he thought she was going to die and here they are, fighting. She's not in his arms and he finds he just wants to curl in a ball and cry. How does she always do this to him? He hangs his head and doesn't say anything. He needs her, so badly, but the conflict is back and he can't bear it. He concentrates on breathing in and out, refusing to shed one more tear, not after they'd flowed so freely at her sickbed.
He keeps his face averted and the silence stretches. Finally he feels her tentative fingertips on his hand.
"Kylo?" He just shakes his head slightly and keep staring down at the sheet covering his nakedness.
"Kylo?" she prods, now with real worry in her tone.
"Kylo, please …" Now she's wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. "What is it?" she murmurs.
Oh, she's back, she's back. He gathers her close and hides his face against her neck.
"You're scaring me," she says.
He takes in a shuddering breath. "I don't mean to scare you. I just … I only just got you back and we're fighting and … and … and I can't," he admits.
Rey holds him tightly. "I didn't think. For me, it's not been nearly so much time. I can only imagine what it must have been like for you."
He nods against her but doesn't say anything.
"Just … if she responds … let her come?"
He sighs. "Alright, Rey." He supposes he can just Force choke the generals who take issue with it.
They'd shared a light meal of fruit and cheeses, happily feeding each other. It had been simple and filled with quiet joy. She seems to understand that he needs her close and had spent most of their dinner sitting on his lap.
They'd never bothered dressing, wandering around in sheets or just naked. He's never been so at ease.
She walks past him, perfect in her bare form. He snatches her around the waist and he pulls her close. He has to work to keep his eyes from closing in the absolute bliss of feeling her, warm and near, but he doesn't want to miss even a moment of looking at her. She peers down at him with affection and acceptance and he catches her nipple in his mouth. He suckles at her gently, then he increases his attentions. She begins to moan and then she grasps his head and urges him to increase his suction. Her breasts are absolute perfection and he enjoys the feeling of her tightened flesh beneath his tongue.
He loves it when she does this. She's riding him hard and holding his eyes with hers. Her hands slide along his chest as she grasps at him for purchase. There's something about how she always knows just how to lift her body and drive down onto him that makes his toes curl. He digs his heels into her bed and tries to hold onto her hips as she wrings every last bit of pleasure from his body. Force, how does she know exactly what to do? Maybe it's the Bond, maybe it's destiny, but all he knows is she was made for him.
She's begun to whimper and her eyes are losing their focus. She's close, damn, she's so close. She's clenching down around him and suddenly he needs to have her as close as he can. He sits up quickly, pulling a startled "Oh" from her throat.
He confuses her until he's buried deep inside her again, her legs wrapped around him as they sit facing each other. For one profound moment they hold each other's eyes while they're as connected in body as they are in soul. His hand moves to her face, gliding across her cheek as he pushes her hair back.
Her name falls from his lips like a prayer, whispered and sacred. She tightens her legs around him and soon they're moving again. Maker, Maker, Maker, how can she … thought is lost and he just feels. He's surrounded by her, both in body and spirit and all that there is is Rey …
Movement, heat, give, take, lost, found. Rey, Rey, Rey …
Please. Mine. Yours. Always. Now. She pulls him into her consciousness and all boundaries are lost.
"I love you," she whispers across the Bond.
"Oh, Rey … you know, you have to know …"
"Yes, I feel it, through me, in me, yes. You love me. Oh, how you love me."
"Yes," he accepts across their connection.
Then it's time, she's slick and perfect and holding him in her mind as she holds him with her body. There is no sense of who has found release first as their eyes form the deepest of connections. All that there is is pleasure, acceptance, and release, oh stars, such white-hot release. He calls, she moans, they create a cacophony of pleasure as they thrust and push, hold and grasp. Oh Maker. You. Me. Rey. Kylo. Ben …
He shouts his final pulse and she whimpers through her last wave and soon they're just panting.
They pull back slightly. His perspective is fuzzy, he sees her eyes, but he also sees his, and they meld into a deep, warm brown with glinting green highlights. He can't really perceive anything other than the warmth of her skin and the absolute certainty that he'll only ever be home with Rey.
Eventually their minds separate and it leaves him feeling alone and vacant. Then he feels the Bond bloom within him and her voice is in his head. "No, my love. I will always be here. I will always fill you as you fill me."
His arms tighten around her and he sends through the Bond, "You are all that I am, all that I can ever hope to be."
"No …"
"No? Oh, beloved … you have no idea, no idea at all. All that there is is you. Only you. Only ever you."
"I'm nobody …"
He inhales sharply and holds her face with both his hands, making sure she's looking at him. "You are everything."
She tilts her forehead against his and he sees the smallest of smiles. "Everything?" she asks through their Bond.
"Everything."
A/N: Thank you to my marvelous beta, CharlotteCAgain, who put up with me sending her this chapter last night and still got it beta'd!
Thank you readers! You keep me going, you really do. I owe you an apology, I've been quite late in responding to reviews these past couple of weeks as work has been quite busy (many late nights at the office). I hope it will get better soon. Please don't think that I'm ignoring them or they don't matter to me. Nothing could be further from the truth.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
I have one printed and bound copy of my first fic, 'He Knows He Needs to Stop' that needs a good home. I will be holding a drawing in the next couple of weeks in order to find said good home. I'll be posting on tumblr and anyone who likes the post will be added to the list. If you don't have tumblr, please indicate in the reviews here that you're interested or email me at pdowning at zandalee dot com.
