Chapter 50

In the hours that had passed the loving couple had made their way up to the bedroom and had entangled themselves around one another's naked form to sleep soundly beneath the sheets. As dawn broke and the moon refused to leave the sky, Harry stirred. He smiled even before he opened his eyes to find his blond lover sleeping deeply in his arms. He was amazed at how quickly they had managed to consummate their love for one another; he had thought that she would need much more time; he knew every last devastating detail of how they'd hurt her and as he considered this he felt rage build inside him, but it was not a time for such thoughts. He gazed down at Nikki's face and remembered intimacy they had shared only a few hours ago. He was proud of her; he loved her, he was always going to protect her.

Desperate to say hello to the woman asleep beside him, he considered how he could wake her without being overly obvious. He gently pulled down the sheet to reveal their bodies and carefully traced his finger over the pattern cast by the shadows made on her skin. Soon enough, as expected Nikki woke under his electric touch.

"Good morning my beautiful."

Nikki yawned her good morning and smiled sleepily as she nestled her head in the crook of his arm.

"Sleepy head, you still tired my love?" He ran his fingers along her shoulder as she nodded with her eyes closed. "Lazy bones." He kissed her forehead.

"You tired me out Harry, I blame you; I'm not used to spending so many minutes breathless at one time." Although she was still half asleep she was being honest. She opened her eyes and shut them again almost instantly; she wanted the light that was shining through a crack in the curtain to go away and stop invading her paradise with the threat of a different day.

"Ah, but I have a sneaky suspicion that tells me you could quite easily get used to it. I know I am already addicted." Harry's tone was playfully smug and self satisfied.

Nikki smiled and tightened her embrace on Harry.

"Harry, have you planned anything for today?" Her enquiry was mumbled through tired lips.

"Yes of course. Don't you know? I am the very embodiment of plans and preparations that keep you happy." He chuckled, "We need to leave in an hour or two; there are some strawberry fields not too far from here; I thought we could go strawberry picking." Harry was excited, he hadn't been strawberry picking since his was a young child and he couldn't wait to share that old familiarity with the woman he loved.

Nikki didn't want to get up. She didn't want to leave the place where she lay; the plans they had for the day were trivial to the emotion that she felt right now in this place, in Harry's arms. Emotionally she'd moved mountains in the night; shifted her world on its axis and she wanted to savour the sentiment for as long as she could. Harry had been faultless, he'd not been too cautious or over solicitous; unlike Nikki, he had been confident about the steps he made in their ritual dance. Nikki knew in her heart that she hadn't been the greatest lover Harry had ever had, but in time she knew that could change. Nevertheless what was important was that she'd crossed the invisible, intangible line that had separated her from a crucial part of herself, she hadn't exorcised the rape but with her and Harry's lovemaking she had moved just beyond it. Her body was hers again, hers to give to Harry.

Harry watched her intently as she wandered through these thought processes and knowing that he was going to have to ask her to open up he finally spoke.

"What's wrong Nik? Want to talk about it?" He turned on his side and stoked her face willing her to share.

"Nothing is wrong Harry. Everything is so right. But..." She didn't know how to explain,

"But what Nik?" Concern filled Harry's eyes,

"I'm afraid." She had said it and now she knew she was going to have to explain herself, and that worried her ever so slightly more in case her apprehensions materialised.

"Of what?" He squeezed her hand indicating his own uneasiness,

"Hmm... I'm afraid to leave this place, this bed, the cottage. I don't want to go outside, back into the real world. I love being here with you and I'm afraid that if we go out... all this, everything that you feel for me and what we did last night will all evaporate back into anxiety and shame. I don't want to go out. Can't we stay in? Please?" A single tear fell but Harry brushed it away with his thumb.

"No. We are leaving here in two hours and we are going strawberry picking and you will see that nothing will change. We are in the real world right now Nikki; we have both worked really hard together to get to this point I promise it will not evaporate or go anywhere. It won't. I'm not saying that you won't feel those other negative emotions either because those are very real to you, and will be for awhile, but so are these ones, love, affection, desire, happiness, Nik, these are just as real; just because they feel good doesn't mean you're going to lose them or me. I'm not going anywhere. So we are going out to prove my point to you, okay?" Harry's expression was resolute.

"Okay." She believed him but she knew she had to experience his promised words for herself; he was right, she had to know that they were not sealed in a cocooned paradise but that this reality would follow them wherever they went.

"Okay. Besides Nik, I have an uncontrollable desire..." He enveloped Nikki with his body and kissed her slowly and purposefully and just as she pressed her body into him to convey that she craved much more, he decisively broke the kiss "... to show off my exceptional strawberry picking skills." He threw back the sheets, climbed from the bed and padded over to the bathroom.

"Harry!" Nikki called after him feeling utterly cheated,

"I need food Nik... food first and foremost." He laughed as he used her phrase from the day before exactly how she had implied it.