Author's Note: Special thanks to Rori Potter, jenny crum, Kimd33, Monkeywand, AndreeaRaducan, Christiangirl, Flames101, Guest, Wombat357, and Johnsoneswards for the reviews!
Chapter Fifty-Three
Sitting nervously at the table, JJ cast a quick look around searching for Jessica. She placed a hand on her stomach to settle herself and received a reassuring kick from the baby. Her nerves had been on edge since Jessica called her three days ago and asked to meet up for lunch. Though Hotch had reassured her repeatedly that Jessica approved, and even encouraged, their relationship, JJ was having a hard time believing it given their past animosity.
"JJ, hi!" Jessica said, breathlessly, plopping down in the chair across from JJ. "I'm sorry that I'm late. The kids were fighting and Hank was being zero help and I just couldn't get out the door."
"It's okay, really," JJ assured her. "I haven't been here that long." That was a bit of exaggeration, but that was due to her own insistence on being extra early. She took a deep, cleansing breath. "So, what is this about, Jessica?"
Jessica smiled. "I owe you an apology." She grinned at JJ's stunned face. "I can tell that you're surprised."
Blushing, JJ nodded. "A bit."
"Haley and I were always very close. From the second that she came into the world, I was her protector, her confidante, her big sister." Jessica took a deep breath as her eyes became wet. "My parents, as you can tell, were not always the most supportive, obviously."
"So, we've learned," JJ muttered in agreement. Since discovering that Jack was not their biological grandson, Haley's parents had taken to ignoring him as if he no longer existed. It had hurt the boy deeply, but JJ's mother's excitement over having another grandson had gone a long way to sooth his hurt.
Anger at her parents flitted across Jessica's face. "If it helps any, my boys have decided they want nothing to do with their grandparents if they want nothing to do with their cousin."
A small grin lit JJ's face. "I think that would mean a lot to Jack. It means a lot to me."
"Anyway," Jessica continued, waving off the detoured conversation with her hands, "I started to take Haley's side since the very beginning. It quickly became second nature to me and I don't think I realized just how much it was an ingrained part of my personality until I saw you guys at the mall. All I could think about was every complaint and accusation that Haley had every made against you."
"I swear to you that nothing ever happened between Hotch and me until this past Spring," JJ stated, wringing her hands. "Yes, we've always been close, but it never went any further than friendship."
Holding up her hands, Jessica stopped JJ. "I know that. At least, I know that now. See, Haley was always jealous of your friendship. When their marriage started to fall apart, it was easy for Haley to blame you instead of herself. The truth is that she wanted an idealized version of Aaron; one that she had had in her head since they were kids, but that's not who he truly was. Is."
Scrunching up her face in sympathy, JJ could not help but relive her own marriage where Will's fantasy of JJ caused a lot of strain when she was unable to live up to his expectations. "I understand that all too well."
"I just… I feel like I've failed my sister. I wasn't able to protect her, but I thought that if I could protect Jack, it would be even better. It would make up for my failure and -"
"You didn't fail Haley, Jessica," JJ interrupted forcefully. "Man, you and Hotch could put a psychologist's four kids through Ivy league. It was not his fault and it was not yours. It was only that son of a bitch!" She opened her mouth to continue, but was stopped by the waiter stopping by to take their order. Both women quickly made their selections and sent him on his way.
Jessica wiped the tears away from her face that had grown silently as the waiter had been at the table. "Someday, I really hope that I can believe that. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I thought that if Jack began to accept you as his mother that it would mean that he was pushing Haley out. I didn't know how to handle that so I blamed you. And I was wrong to do that. I'm sorry."
JJ released a slow breath. "I accept your apology. But, Jessica, we've been fine for several months now so why are you bringing this up now?"
"We're moving," Jessica laid out. "Archie is being transferred to Ohio, Toledo. We have to be there in a month. I want to clear the air before we go and I want… Well, honestly, I want to be to have Jack for visits and I would like you and Aaron to be comfortable with that."
"Jack's really going to miss you," JJ whispered. She stroked her stomach. "Jessica, there are no hard feelings here. You are Jack's aunt, his main connection to his m-mother. Nothing is going to change that. And I have no issues at all with Jack going to visit you. He loves you and loves spending time with you. I would never take that away from either of you."
Jessica looked upward and laughed, a huge weight removed from her shoulders. "I am just so glad to hear you say that. I know I shouldn't be surprised; you of all people know what it's like to lose Jack from your life."
Placing her hand on Jessica's, JJ assured her, "I would never put you through that." JJ waved her hands in front of her eyes to dry them. "Okay, we have to change the subject. This pregnant lady can't handle any more of this."
"Jack tells me that you guys are going to find out what the baby is next week." Jessica sat back in her chair, more relaxed.
"Assuming that he decides to cooperate!"
Jessica chuckled. "Are you hoping for a boy or girl?"
JJ cringed, biting her bottom lip. "Well, I wouldn't be disappointed with another boy; I happen to think that I make pretty good ones."
"I'll drink to that!" Jessica exclaimed, taking a sip of her iced tea.
"But part of me would love to have a little girl with Hotch's eyes and dark hair." Her face blushed deeply. "I can just picture the two of them having tea parties and twirling around the living room, all dressed up."
Tittering, Jessica nodded, enthusiastically. "She would be wrapped around his finger. Jack and Henry's, too, I imagine."
JJ's eyebrows shot up. "I'd like to change my answer! I can suddenly see myself having to convince all the boys not to do her bidding. I'm not sure that I have the energy for that!"
"No matter what, JJ, I'm sure that you've got this. Your kids are pretty lucky to have you."
