AN: Just gonna sneak this in here and hope nobody notices how long it's been since the last chapter...
But hey, since I've been gone this fic has reached 150 reviews! So super thank you guys for that! As always, thanks to those who read (especially if you've been reading for a long time and haven't given up hope of this being finished yet - I promise your faith will be rewarded with a real ending and possibly multiple epilogues because I can't make my mind up how this should end!), special thanks to all who fav/follow, and super-awesome-care-bear-stare-until-you-just-don't-care (what? I don't know, I'm tired. I was determined to post this tonight no matter what...) thanks to Fox Crimson, Douxdel, and Verdandi73 for the reviews! Actually, especially Verdandi73 because that last review made me want to go and write an AU of this AU (which will only be a few chapters, I promise I'm not taking too much time from working on this one) which I'll post the first chapter of once this is up. Like, it's just basically if I let myself go even more ovaries-to-the-wall than I do in this fic (which is quite a lot...).
You guys are awesome and I hope you enjoy! ^^
Chapter 50 - All my life I've been wanting to do more. Be more. And know I am. And the first chance I get to help someone, I screw up.
"Daddy! My hands are sticky!"
Garrus tried not to roll his eyes, wondering why Kira thought he didn't know that, given that she was currently gripping tightly to his shirt as he carried her.
"Here," Sophia said, passing the toddler a baby wipe from her bag as she shifted Tom on her own hip.
Garrus saw her momentarily freeze as she lifted her head, realising where she was. She tried to cover it but he still saw. He let out a low trill of reassurance, not wanting to be too obvious in front of the twins.
Sophia gave him a small smile just as they arrived at their destination, but he knew what lay behind the darkness in her gaze. The memories that still plagued her. Both of them, if he was being honest, though he knew that this spot in particular held meaning for Sophia. While it had been difficult to not be jealous at times, he couldn't deny that Thane had been a good friend to his wife. Whoever's idea it had been to rebuild the Citadel exactly as it had been certainly hadn't been thinking about the survivors of the numerous tragedies that had plagued the station.
"We should have left the twins with someone," Sophia muttered under her breath. "Tali, maybe. We shouldn't have brought them with us."
"Soph, it's fine. They're long gone."
Sophia shook her head. "We shouldn't have rebuilt their tech. This place was specifically designed to… well, you know as well as I do."
"Yes," Garrus agreed, "but the danger has passed. Come on, nothing is going to happen to them as long as we're around. They'll never have to face what we did."
"No, I guess not…"
Will stood outside of Victus' room, his stance awkward as he hesitated just shy of knocking on the door frame. The turian would be leaving the Normandy as soon as they arrived on the Citadel. As would the Primarch. But Will was more concerned with Victus. They often spoke to each other when together in the same room. It was always polite and cordial but certain things always went unsaid. Will wondered if they just simply didn't need to be. He knew and Victus knew, and maybe that was all that mattered.
But, then again, maybe it wasn't.
So he knocked, drawing Victus' attention.
The turian turned to face him, seemingly surprised at his appearance. They had never sought one another out before, after all. "Will. Need something?"
"Yeah, I guess. I just… I guess I just wanted to say… Thanks, I guess."
Victus raised his browplates. "Thanks?"
"Look, I know that you and Rosa were… close after… after I was gone. I guess I'm just glad that she wasn't alone, you know?"
Victus sighed, sitting back on his bunk. He seemed to be searching for something to say, eventually settling for, "She used to have nightmares. I guess no one told you that, seeing as how Titus and I were the only ones there and, well, he's not exactly, well, you know… But every night she would wake up screaming. It took months for her to trust us enough to tell us what was happening. Turians don't dream, you see, so we had no idea. Watching her in that much pain… It was excruciating. They quickly pulled back the round-the-clock surveillance on her since we were in the middle of a war and all, but she hated being left alone. So I stayed with her. I told her that I was simply bored since she wouldn't otherwise allow it, not wanting to be bothersome, but I think she knew my true intent from the start. She admitted that every night she dreamt of you and Sophia, and every night she lost you. And then she would wake up to find that it wasn't just a nightmare."
"Why are you telling me this? What's the point?" Will managed.
"The point is that the nightmares eventually stopped. She realised that she had not yet lost Sophia and had to be strong for her. At the time, I couldn't decide whether her hope was foolish not. All I knew was that moment, when a light lit behind her eyes, was the moment that I started to fall in love with her. I couldn't not. She was like a beacon in the darkness and I couldn't help but be drawn to her."
"Yeah," Will agreed, "she tended to have that effect on you."
"You know, when I was on Menae, there was a while when things looked bad. I was pinned down and was pretty sure that I wasn't getting out of there alive. And then I heard her. She was yelling at me to get off my ass and fight until my last breath, promising that she would be there when it was over. I know that she wasn't, but at the time I could have sworn that she was right next to me. You ever get that?"
"Every time I shut my eyes."
"Yeah…"
"Does it ever get any easier?"
Victus seemed surprised by his question.
"You've been living with this a lot longer than I have," he reasoned.
Victus sighed, shaking his head. "I guess there was a time, when I was bonded. I loved her and our son. But after she was gone, not right away, but perhaps after a year or so, I found myself with a suspiciously Rosa-shaped hole in my heart. I guess it never really left, if I'm being perfectly honest with myself."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Why now?"
"Huh?"
"It's been weeks and you've never before brought up. Why now?"
"I guess I just wasn't ready before."
"We will be docking with the Citadel shortly," EDI told them over the comms.
"I guess you'll be leaving then?" Will asked.
"Someone has to clean up after Titus," Victus reasoned, getting up once more. "Not to mention keep an eye on Sol and Tarquin."
"Surely Sol is Titus's responsibility, not yours."
"You would think. But I've seen the way Tarquin looks at her. I won't subject him to the same pain I've been through, not if I can stop it."
"Good luck with that."
Victus shrugged. "As if you won't be doing the same with Garrus."
Will had to laugh at that. "I suppose you're right. At least you've only got two, I am looking after a whole flock over here."
"And you wouldn't have it any other way."
"You're right, I wouldn't."
The first indication Sophia had that anything was wrong was Kira entering the cockpit decked out in full combat gear.
"What's up?"
Kira shrugged. "I just have a bad feeling is all."
"Yeah, there's no way I'm believing that from a time traveller. You don't get bad feelings, so just tell me what's happening."
"Maybe it has something to do with the fact no one is responding," Joker said, drawing Sophia's attention.
"Wait, why?"
"Hell if I know. Even if there was a station malfunction, they'd have backups online. I've got a bad feeling here. Checking emergency channels. No… No, no, no, no, no…"
"What have you got?" Kira asked.
"You're both gonna want to hear this," Joker told them. "Emergency message playing on loop from a comm tower."
"To all incoming ships: the Citadel is under attack - do not attempt to land! Cerberus is controlling all docks. Notify the Citadel fleet. Send reinforcements to C-Sec headquarters - if that falls, the station falls."
"Oh good," Kira said. "I was worried my message to Bailey might not be enough."
"What message?" Sophia asked.
"The one telling him that Cerberus was going to attack."
"Your bad feeling?"
"Yeah."
"You know, one of these days and going to learn to stop being annoyed at you for keeping secrets. Today is not that day."
"I didn't! At least, not in the grand scheme of things. Just from you. So, you know, credit where credit is due."
Sophia rolled her eyes but any witty retort was cut off by Joker apparently speaking to someone over the comm.
"Hey! Yeah, this is Joker. Uh-huh. Yeah, no kidding." He turned back to the other two. "There's a communication from Thane. He says it's important. Think you'll want to hear this."
"Put him through," Kira said before Sophia had the chance to speak up, earning her glare from her mother.
"Shepard. The Citadel is under attack. Cerberus troops are everywhere, and they're in control of the docks."
"Yeah, we got Bailey's message," Kira told him.
"Are you safe?" Sophia asked.
"No. I had to evade their commandos at the hospital. I'm in a Presidium storefront. Though, without Kira's prior knowledge, I might not have even made it this far."
"Am I the only one who doesn't know?" Sophia asked her.
Kira didn't respond, instead asking Thane, "Are you alone?"
"I passed Alenko on my way here. He said he had to protect the Council. I'm going to C-Sec headquaters."
"Bailey mentioned that keeping C-Sec was important."
"It's been compromised and C-Sec's response depends on it. As long as Cerberus is holding the headquarters, they have the station."
"Alright, Joker – get us away from the docks and close to C-Sec HQ. We'll deploy in the shuttle," Sophia said before turning to Kira. "I assume your get-up means that you're planning on coming with?"
"If you're not too mad at me."
Sophia just rolled her eyes in reply.
Kira was too busy mentally referring back to her records of how the Cerberus attack on the Citadel had gone down in the other timeline to really pay attention as Bailey sang her praises while he accessed the C-Sec systems.
"In all honesty, Shepard, if not for Kira's warning, this could have been a lot worse."
Sophia nodded. "I just wish I had been in on it," she admitted.
Bailey shrugged. "I don't pretend to understand this timetravel nonsense, and in all honesty I would have preferred to stay at a pay-grade below this crap, but I got the impression that even warning me wasn't exactly something Kira was comfortable with."
Kira shot her head up from her omni-tool at that. "Sorry, was someone talking to me?"
Sophia smirked a little. "Never mind. Bailey was just telling us where to find Valern."
Bailey nodded. "He had a meeting with the Executor."
"How come?"
Kira cut in at that. "Udina. He suspected he was dirty."
"And now Cerberus has attacked the Citadel just as he was about to get caught," her father figured.
Kira nodded. "We need to find Valern."
"Agreed," her mother said.
"Here," Bailey said, holding up his omni-tool. "So that we can stay in contact."
Sophia nodded before leading the others through the building.
The Cerberus presence was heavy, but nothing that they couldn't handle. Finding Valern wasn't too difficult but Kira seemed on edge.
"I don't think Valern's alone," she said, just as an assassin jumped from the ceiling down to where the councillor was hiding.
Kira shot through the window, leading the charge against the man she recognised as Kai Leng. However, Kai Leng raised his weapon to the councillor's head, stopping Kira in her tracks.
"No closer," he told her.
She raised an eyebrow as her parents caught up with her. "Three against one. Might want to call it quits."
"No, now it's interesting."
Before Kai Leng could do anything more, however, Thane seemingly came out of nowhere and attacked him. Kira watched the fight carefully, knowing what was coming. As soon as she saw her opening, she shot Kai Leng. It, unfortunately, wasn't fatal but it was enough to break his streak and make him decide that running would be the best option.
Kira followed him, but he hopped onto a car and drove off before she could get another shot in. She turned back to Thane to see him a little out of breath.
"You okay?" she asked.
He responded by narrowing his eyes at her. "If you had not been here to intervene… How would this fight have turned out?"
"You would have died," she replied honestly.
"What happened to preserving the timeline?"
Kira shrugged. "I have a plan."
Thane simply nodded as the councillor interrupted.
"We don't have time for this. He'll kill us all."
Kira rolled her eyes. "He who? We don't have time for the pronoun game."
"Udina! He's the one who called Cerberus."
"He's with the other councillors?" Sophia asked.
Valern nodded. "Yes. You must hurry."
Sophia brought up her omni-tool. "Bailey, it's Udina. I need to get to the councillors."
"I'm sending a vehicle to your location."
"Look after the councillor?" Sophia asked Thane as the C-Sec car pulled up.
"Of course," Thane replied as they headed off towards the car.
"Great, more flashbacks," Kira commented as she ended up in the back seat.
"Do I want to know?" her father asked her, sighing a little.
She shrugged. "I wasn't really in trouble. I just needed a word with someone C-Sec had in lock-up and I needed to circumvent their lawyers."
"So, only marginally better, then."
Kira watched, frowning, as her mother and Kaidan aimed their weapons at each other. She knew that this situation was supposed to resolve itself peacefully but it felt too tense for Kira to believe. She wondered if it was because Kaidan was there instead of Ashley.
"Kaidan, listen to me," Sophia said. "Cerberus forces are right behind us. If you open that lift, they'll get through."
"Not more of your ridiculous stories, Shepard," Udina interrupted.
"We haven't listened to Shepard in the past," the turian councillor pointed out, "it did not go in our favour."
"No, Udina's right," Kaidan told them. "This isn't the real Shepard. It hasn't been since Cerberus brought her back."
"What?!" Sophia exclaimed, disbelieving.
"Cerberus brought back a duplicate they could control. Nothing more."
"That's ridiculous!" Sophia countered.
"They've done it before in the other timeline." He nodded towards Kira. "That's what she is."
"Watch it," Kira warned him, bringing up her own weapon as she saw a peaceful resolution less and less likely.
"Kaidan, try to be reasonable here," Garrus said but Kaidan just scoffed.
"Don't try to hide your involvement in this. You may have everybody else fooled but I know the truth. Shepard would have never been with you!"
Before Shepard could punch Kaidan as she was itching to do, Udina interrupted again. "Forget this," he said, going to the console to open the lift doors.
"Step away from the console!" Shepard yelled, re-aiming her weapon at Udina. That was the point at which Kaidan shot her, prompting Garrus to shoot him, taking his head clean off. While this was going on, Kira shot Udina.
"Are you okay?" Garrus asked his bonded as the air cleared.
She nodded. "Kaidan never was a very good shot. My barriers and armour took the damage."
Before they could say anything more on the matter, the lift doors forced their way open. Thankfully, it was just Bailey and a handful of C-Sec officers beyond.
"Where's Cerberus?" the asari councillor asked.
"As soon as we arrived, they beat feet into the keeper tunnels," Bailey told them. "I'll say it plain, Councillors, Shepard just saved the lot of you."
As Shepard approached where the Normandy was docked, she found Garrus waiting for her.
"Hey," she greeted.
"Hey," he replied, though he seemed a little distant.
"What's wrong?"
"I… Soph, I wanted to apologise. For how things ended up going down with… with Kaidan.
Sophia shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but she found herself folding her arms over her chest protectively anyway. She couldn't quite ignore just how much Kaidan's actions had unsettled her. He had felt so entitled to her that he had believed that she was a Cerberus replacement rather than that she refused him.
"He shot me," she eventually said. "What followed was his own doing."
"Are you… okay?" Garrus asked, noting her unease.
She nodded, though she wasn't sure if he believed it. "I will be," she assured him. "I just… wasn't expecting this."
"Are we okay?"
She frowned, nodding. "Of course. Garrus, like I said, Kaidan dug his own grave. If you hadn't shot him, I would have."
He seemed to believe that, finally drawing her into his arms in an effort to comfort her.
"So what happened to preserving the timeline?" Thane asked as Kira approached him at the hospital. He seemed to be in one piece.
She shrugged. "I figured that we were so close to the end that the odd change was unlikely to cause any damage to our war efforts. Though maybe I was wrong."
"What makes you say that?" Thane asked, clearly confused.
"Kaidan. He… He was supposed to die back on the SR1 but Tom and I intervened and saved him…"
"But now he's dead anyway?"
She nodded. "The timeline keeps on shifting back. It's great when it comes to the war because it means that all Tom and I have to have to do is nudge things in the right direction."
"But it means that the people you save are living on borrowed time." Kira remained silent, answering his question. "You worry for Nihlus, don't you?"
She shrugged. "I can't not," she figured. "He was meant to die even before Kaidan was and I… I don't want to lose him."
"A single incident is not a pattern," Thane reminded her.
"I know, I just… I know…"
AN: Yeah, yeah, I know. Short chapter and not that great, how in the hell did it take so long? *Shrugs* Again, sorry. I'll try not to take such a ridiculously long time with the next one.
