On Valentine's Day, all hell broke loose.
I was at school early, and she ambushed me. She grabbed me, tugging me with all her might into the bathroom.
She kissed me hungrily, desperate, and almost fearful. She gripped my arms to an almost painful level, as she pressed me up against the wall.
I tried kissing back, and I tried pushing her away. Sometimes I tried doing both at the same time. I felt my heartbeat pick up.
"Elsa," I whispered to her. She clamped a hand over my mouth. It occurred to me, in that horrible moment, that no matter what, I would love her. The promises I secretly made to her would ring true. Always.
But in spite of being utterly in love with her, I was afraid. Not of what I knew was to come, but of how Elsa would be after.
"Elsa...no, you don't want to do this."
"Yes Anna. I do," she hissed. "And so do you Anna."
"No! Not like this!" She clamped a hand over my mouth again, her other hand running over my body greedily.
I wanted this. No I didn't. Yes! but no! No, not like this!
I liked it before!
It was like love before!
This wasn't love.
This was lust.
Desperate...
Hungry...
Demanding...
Unyielding...
It was just a lust for my body. That was what she "liked".
She liked the sex. She liked my body.
My soul was another story.
I screamed into her hand. I didn't want to become a body to Elsa. I wanted to be Elsa's everything. Not a toy, that she could discard once the sex was over.
No. No.
This wasn't her. It couldn't be her.
It couldn't.
Our clothes were only half shed, when we came together for the second time.
I cried for the loss of my beautiful Elsa.
