ERIC
Of course, she comes walking over to me. With her tiny fucking steps that she thinks makes her look demure, and her way too red lipstick. Isn't that a fucking contradiction? She tosses her hair over her shoulder—it's bleached blonde now. She always did tell me she liked the color of my hair. Too bad her dye job fell quite short. My hands clench into fists when I see the fake smile she plasters on her face.
I'm trying not to let anything I'm feeling show on my face. My heart is pounding in my chest and my palms are sweating. The only thing I can think is that she's going to want to see Annika. But Anni isn't hers anymore. She's mine and if she's anybody else's, she's Sookie's.
"Eric, sweetheart," she purrs and I want to either slap her or throw up. "It's been too long. How have you been?" she asks.
As soon as I open my mouth, she continues to speak. She doesn't want to know how I am. It's just something to say for her.
"I have been so incredibly busy. My life is a whirlwind," she says with an awful fake laugh. I push my short fingernails into my palms to stop from cursing her out in the middle of the mall. When she finally shuts her damn mouth, she looks up at me with a little smile. I know this fucking smile. "You look great," she says, brushing her fingertips down my stomach.
I recoil, leaving her standing awkwardly with her hand out. Sander puts his hand on my shoulder and Sophie fixes her gaze on him. I want to scream at her and shake her and ask her if she ever even thinks about the daughter she abandoned. But I'm scared to bring up Annika in case she asks to see her. We have no custody agreement and I know she could take me to court if she ever wanted to come back into Annika's life. She wouldn't stand a chance in hell of taking her from me but if she had a good enough lawyer, she could get visitation. And there will never come the day that I hand my precious baby over to this phony fucking bitch.
Sander keeps his hand on my shoulder as Sophie takes a step closer to him. I'm not sure who needs the support more out of the two of us. The look on his face is even scaring me. He was horrified when I told him what Sophie did to me. He said that even as drugged up riffraff, he would never have stooped so low. So, I have no idea what he's thinking but the look on his face tells me that he is possibly contemplating murder.
"And who might you be?" says Sophie in the voice I guess I must have found seductive at one point in time. I did fuck her plenty and by the end there, I was practically begging her for it. That thought makes my lip curl. I can't believe I was ever fooled by this woman.
"I would be Eric's brother," he says between clenched teeth. If she notices his angry voice and stance, she doesn't show it. Fucking clueless.
"Oh, Sander," she says, and I have to seriously wonder how she remembers his name. I barely mentioned him when we got together because the thought of him caused me only pain. But then again, she did make it her mission to know all about me when she went after me. She probably had a creepy file on my whole family. "It's so nice to finally meet you. You are handsome just like your brother," she purrs.
My mouth opens. Is she really fucking flirting with my brother? His eyes narrow and he goes off on her, calling her so many fucking names and telling her what a worthless person she is and how much she is missing out on. She just stands looking at him wordlessly—because he's speaking Swedish.
I can't help but grin because of all the shit he's saying and the ridiculously confused look on her face. She keeps smiling tentatively, not quite sure if his passionate words are good or bad.
"Du är en riktig jävla fitta! (You are a real fucking cunt/bitch!)," he finishes with and my first instinct is to burst out laughing. She has no idea what Sander said to her. His chest is heaving when he's done talking. Truthfully, I don't think I've ever seen him this angry and the fact that his anger is over something that happened to me, just cements my decision to get some help to deal with my own issues.
I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze. "Tack, broder (thanks, brother)," I say. I'm hoping he'll calm down a little because I think if he gets really upset, he's going to want something to soothe him like drugs would have. I don't know what to do in that case.
"Well," says Sophie, fluffing the ends of her over-processed hair, "that was certainly interesting."
She leans into Sander again, and he clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath, letting it out loudly—kind of like a bull. I think she's definitely provoking him like a bull in a ring and before he charges her, I need to get him away. It's funny—I always thought it'd be me who wouldn't be able to control my anger around her. But I feel like I have more to consider than just myself and my anger about how she screwed me over. I need to get my brother out of here before he does something to get himself arrested and I need to stay calm for the sake of my daughter.
"So Sander and I have to go," I say. "My daughter is waiting for me." I start to walk away and she takes steps to follow. I stop, and turn to look her directly in the eye. My anger is about to boil over so I need to take care of this quickly. "Don't fucking come near me again. If you see me somewhere, you will pretend you don't, are we clear?"
Her eyes widen and she stops abruptly, staring at me. "What about my daughter?" she says. Ah, finally she wants to acknowledge that she had a baby with me.
"You don't have a daughter," I say. The look on her face—shock, hurt, a small amount of anger—is immensely satisfying to me. I turn around and walk away with Sander next to me. I hope to every single deity that may or may not exist that I never fucking see her again. It's possible that she'll get a bee in her bonnet about seeing Annika but I hope her selfishness will keep her from pursuing that. Fuck, I don't even know if she lives here again or if she's just visiting.
"What a bitch," says Sander as we exit the mall and walk to the car. He seems to have calmed down.
"You have no idea."
~~—~~—~~
"What? What happened? What did she say? Did you talk to her? Did she ask about Annika?" These rapid-fire questions come tumbling out of Sookie's mouth as soon as I tell her that we ran into Sophie. She's pacing around the living room, reminding me of, well…me.
"Slow down, angel. I don't remember what she said. Something stupid. She tried to flirt with Sander. The whole conversation was less than five minutes."
"Oh my god! Did she ask about Annika?"
"Not until the end when I told her to leave me alone."
"Do you think she will? What if…nevermind. Damn! I can't believe this."
"Sookie, it's okay," I say, walking in front of her to stop her pacing feet. I put my arms around her and she sighs against my chest. "It's the same as it always was, right?"
"Yeah, but now it's so much more real. Now she's here. Does she know where you live?"
"It's possible someone told her. We know a lot of the same people—or we did. I don't even know if she lives here. Maybe she's visiting her parents, or her brother more likely."
"Do you think she'd show up here? To see you…or Anni?" she whispers.
"Heaven help her if she shows up here, Sookie. Someone might have to go get shovels and plastic sheeting."
"I will do that," says Sander. He's on the floor playing with Annika, flying her above his head and making her giggle. He looks over with a serious expression and I have no doubt that he really would help me clean up a murder.
"I'll help you cut her body into little bitty pieces," says Sookie. I look at her face in surprise. She's grinning but there is a hard glint in her eye and I believe she would help me clean up a body also. Good to know. Somewhat terrifying, but good to know.
"Uh, thanks, angel," I say. "That's…nice?"
"The couple that kills together, stays together." She grins and Sander barks out a laugh.
I shake my head at them. I think I'm the least bloodthirsty out of the bunch of us. I can bet Pam will be out for blood as soon as I tell her about this. I'm also sure she will have all the information that I'm currently lacking, within an hour. I'm not used to being the calm one. But it's my job to be level-headed for Annika. She's the one who will suffer if her mom decides she wants something to do with her now. Well, both of us will but I worry more for her.
Sander comes over to me with Annika, who reaches for me. I take her and he leans in close to talk to me in quiet Swedish. He doesn't like to make Sookie feel bad, which I appreciate. "I am going upstairs to call Mama. Have you decided if you will speak to her?"
Shit. I actually forgot all about that since seeing Sophie. "I'm sorry Sander. When will you call her again?"
"I usually call every three or four days but I can call her whenever you would like. Should I tell her you would like to talk to her and we'll call tomorrow?"
"Well, can you just tell her you'll call her again tomorrow and leave me out of it? It's going to stress me out if I know she's waiting to talk to me."
"Sure, brother," he says with a smile. He pats my back before heading upstairs. I was worried about him when he got so angry but he seems to have handled himself well.
"Danda!" Anni screeches and he turns around to wave at her. I can't even explain how happy it makes me that Anni loves her uncle so much. She wriggles to be let down but she makes a beeline for the stairs where he went, so I scoop her back up and head over to Sookie.
"How was she?" I ask. She's been a bit more difficult lately than usual. She doesn't sleep all night anymore because of her teeth. I feel bad that she's in pain so even though I hate dragging myself out of bed at one am, I do it without grumbling so she will feel better.
"Mmm, kind of cranky, she barely ate lunch so I blended up some frozen fruit and yogurt and she sucked it through a straw. She liked that. It made her laugh."
I smile, thinking about my baby enjoying a smoothie that Sookie made for her. Sookie is more to her than her real mom will ever be. Real…Sookie is real in a way that Sophie is not and it pisses me off that Sophie gets the title. And now I'm ashamed that I didn't want Anni to call Sookie Mama. Confusion be damned! If my baby wants to call Sookie Mama, I should have let her.
I walk up to Sookie carrying Annika, and hug her with my free arm. "I have so much to talk to you about, Sookie. Do you want to come upstairs with me and Anni?" She's not going to take another nap today but I don't want to wait until tonight because I think Sookie is going to like what I tell her.
"Sure," she smiles but it's tentative. I think she's still worried about Sophie.
"It's good stuff," I say as I try to reassure her with my smile. I don't know how well it works, but I have no doubt she will be happy when I tell her what Sander and I talked about and the decision I made.
"So, what's up?" she says, trying to sound nonchalant as she sits on the foot of the bed. Whatever I wanted to talk to her about will wait. Something is going on with her.
"What's wrong, angel?" I ask, kneeling in front of her. Anni is playing with a basket of clean clothes, which will most likely have to be refolded if not rewashed. She's busy though and that is a very good thing.
Sookie is reluctant to say anything, let alone look at me. I lift her face with my fingers and smile at her. "Tell me, please."
Instead of talking, she throws her arms around my neck and and starts to cry. My stomach bottoms out, and I internally curse Sophie once again because I'm pretty sure that's what this is about. "Please," I say again, trying to pull her face up. She won't let me. "Talk to me, angel." I am all cried out today; I don't think I have any more even if I wanted to cry with her.
She finally lifts her face and looks at me and my heart takes a nosedive at the forlorn expression on her face. "Do you…" She hiccups and covers her mouth. I fight the smile that wants to form because she is just too cute sometimes. "What if she changed and she wants to be in Annika's life and she wants to be in your life because she realized what a good man you are and she wants to be Annika's mother again. She can't, Eric! She can't take you and Anni away from me!"
Sookie hasn't done her rambling thing in a while but this time she is just so far off base, I don't think it's cute like I usually do. I take her face in both of my hands and wipe her tears with my thumbs. I spend a second just kissing her face, trying to ease her fear. How does she not know that she is everything to me? That I would be utterly and completely lost without her. That she is my sustenance and without her I would waste away to nothing. How does she not understand my love and devotion to her? "Sookie, you are my life, the very blood that pumps through my veins. I would not survive without you. But still, I would rather be alone than spend even a second with Sophie in my life. I love you, Sookie. I know things have been strained. We haven't really connected well in a while, but I assure you that whatever Sophie might want, it means nothing to me. She is on Annika's birth certificate but as far as I'm concerned, you are her mama. We both need you; we both want you in our lives."
As if on cue, Anni walks over to us and wedges herself between us, holding onto Sookie's knees. "Cookie?" she says, watching her tears fall. I move from the floor and sit next to Sookie on the bed, putting my arm around her. Anni's face scrunches up as she takes in the furrow of Sookie's brow and the sadness in her eyes.
"Baby doll," whispers Sookie, picking her up to sit on her knees. She kisses Anni's forehead and smiles but the way she hugs her to her chest, makes me wonder if Sookie really thinks she might lose her.
"Please, don't cry, angel. You believe me, don't you? I need both of you," I say, putting my arms around them.
SOOKIE
I don't even know why I'm crying. Eric's face, when he told me about Sophie, held such disgust that I know realistically, he doesn't want her and he never will again. I guess I just feel a little insecure after yesterday's failed sex and the general stress we've been facing as a couple. Sander, the stupid girls at the Aquarium, lack of sleep and sex, and now this. Plus all the stress of school. I guess it's too much.
"I believe you," I tell Eric, but even though it's true what I said, my tears won't stop.
"Sookie, I hear Sander. I'll be right back, okay?" He picks up Annika and goes into the hallway where I hear him speaking rapid Swedish to Sander. When he comes back, he is without her. "He's going to take her for a walk so we can have some privacy." He gives me a little smile, as if trying to gauge whether that's good or not. I appreciate it so I try to smile back.
"Thanks," I whisper. I crawl to the other end of the bed so I can sit against the headboard. Eric looks at me for a second so I pat the spot next to me and he sits down. I immediately lay my head on his chest and take a deep breath.
"Are you okay?" he whispers. He smoothes my hair off my forehead and then just keeps stroking my hair. It feels good and makes my eyes close.
"I don't know what I am, Eric. I think I'm stressed. I know you don't want Sophie. It's irrational for me to worry...but I can't help it," I say, starting to cry again. Ugh, I'm such a mess.
"It's okay," he says, rocking us slightly. He starts to hum but he only hums a few notes before he stops. He instead starts to speak softly in Swedish to me, whispering in his native language. I have no idea what he is saying but it doesn't matter. His tone and expression tells me that he's speaking loving words to me. He keeps this up for several minutes and I'm surprised he has that many lovely things to say to me. His cheek is resting on my head so his breath warms the spot under his lips. By the time I can understand anything he is saying, I have almost fallen asleep against him. I guess I haven't been sleeping well either.
"Angel, I love you. I've been neglecting our relationship and I'm sorry. I hate that you are stressed in part because of me. What can I do?" he says, rearranging us so he can see my face. His face is concerned, worried, and so kind.
"I don't know," I mumble. I scoot up closer to him, straddling his thighs instead of his knees. "Make love to me?" I ask. My voice sounds ridiculously weak and he furrows his brow at me. A split second, it lasts, but I know he doesn't how I sound.
"Sookie," he whispers, cupping my face in his giant hands again. "Can we talk first?" His eyes search mine and he pulls me in to press his lips gently to mine. "You know I want you…but I don't like what I feel from you. You're still sad."
It amazes me how well he does protective. He's pretty broken, I mean, not always I guess, but recently. Yet anything I need, he is willing to give me. He always wants to fix my hurt and take away my sadness. And he's really good at it.
"I don't know why I'm sad. I think it's just stress."
"Tell me what has you feeling so stressed."
When he asks me things like this, when he talks to me about how I feel, he does it because he really cares. He really listens to me because he cares about what I have to say and how he can help me. It makes me ache, he is so sweet to me.
"Everything," I sigh. It is. I just feel like there are so many things that are worrying me it feels overwhelming. "I worry for you and Sander, your relationship and just the tension of his visit, for Anni and her little mouth that hurts, for my classes, my research project that has to be completed in less than two months. I'm about to graduate, Eric! That's scary as hell!"
Eric brushes his hand through my hair, finger combing my curls in a way that makes me shiver and then sigh. He is so good at these tender touches. They seem instinctual for him and they always make me feel better. "I'm here, Sookie. What can I do to help? Want me to run you a bath? I'm going to get you in the bath and then we'll talk."
He kisses my forehead and moves me so he can get up. And then he is across the room and I hear the water start. I lie back on the bed and smile. I bet I could get him in the bath with me and that would make it even better. Lying against his warm chest in the water is the very definition of heaven.
I walk into the bathroom and move behind him where he stands watching the tub fill up. I quickly shed my tunic top and yoga pants and press myself to his back. I slide my hands under his shirt, over his rippled abs and up to his chest, now rumbling with his purr. "Sookie, I—uhhh," he groans as I lightly pinch his nipples. His hips flex, thrusting into the air, as his chest vibrates even more.
I start to slowly unbutton his dark jeans as I stand behind him and push them and his boxers down. He raises his arms to take off his shirt as he steps out of his pants while I shed my bra and underwear. Then he turns quickly and picks me up, holding me and kissing me as he steps into the bathtub. His foot slips and he braces his hand on the wall and laughs. That sound, his laugh, is a balm to my frayed soul—it has been too sparse as of late.
"Oh, I love your laugh," I say and happiness lights his eyes. He puts me down and shuts off the water before sinking down and pulling my hand so I will sit on his lap.
"Can we make love and talk at the same time?" I ask. His eyes hold amusement as they look at mine.
"Hmm, I don't know. We can try. Seems like talking might give way to moaning…or screaming in your case."
"You plan to make me scream, baby?" I whisper into his ear, rocking over the beginnings of his excitement. I can tell he is not expecting it—the seduction—because his hand slips off my back and hits the warm water with a splash.
He smiles. "I plan to make you do a lot of things," he answers.
"I can't wait," I say. His erection is now thick and proud and my hand slips up and down his warm smooth skin quite easily in the water.
"Angel," he whispers, watching what I'm doing to him. His brow furrows and he moans softly when I trace the ridge of his swollen head with my thumb and forefinger. He grips my hip tightly, pulling me against him and trapping his length between us. His hand on my butt moves me up and down over him as the water makes it easy for him to control my movements.
He brings my mouth to his with his other hand behind my neck and kisses me with a passion I haven't felt from him in a while. We are all tongues and lips; it's wet and sloppy, and so fucking hot. He can't get enough and it makes me feel so good. I want to feel his desire like this more often. Like he was at the beginning, having to hold himself back like a teenager.
I break the kiss to back up slightly so I can grasp his erection and sink down onto him. And then he is grabbing me back again, pressing his mouth to mine while his hands roam my body. And he is thrusting and grunting, panting into my open mouth. He sits up, hugging me tightly to his body with an arm around my lower back. I fold my knees around his slim waist and push my heels into his back, taking him deeper.
"I love you so much, Sookie," he says, dipping me back so he can see my face. "I only want you."
"I know, baby. I only want you," I echo.
"Sander and I talked," he pants.
I raise my eyebrows because suddenly I can only moan. His thumb has found my clit since I'm leaning back and he circles it slowly.
"I agreed to go…" he says but then when my body squeezes him, his voice breaks.
"To go…?"
"To a meeting…fuck, I'm…stop moving for a second."
I pull myself up and hold onto his shoulders while we both gain a little control.
"You're going to a meeting with Sander?"
"Yes," he breathes, "and…an appointment," he finally gets out. I guess maybe we can't have sex and a conversation at the same time.
I pull back and look at his face, grinning. "You're going to see a counselor with Sander?" Something inside of me blooms with joy at this. Then the feeling morphs into heat that starts in my belly and shoots down my body and suddenly I am writhing in Eric's arms. I can't stay still like he asked.
"Fuck…fuck!" he grunts as his hips jerk against mine. His release is hot inside of me, warmed more than normal by the bath water.
"Oh my god," I pant, as the sensation lengthens my orgasm in a way that's never happened before.
He crashes his mouth into mine as I continue to writhe and swallows my moans as I claw at his back. In a few seconds I calm down and my hands relax.
"That was…I've never had a…I can usually tell when…" Blah! I can't speak so I close my mouth and just kiss Eric some more. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm sneak up on me like that. Maybe…I don't know…I can't think straight.
"Sookie, you are magnificent!" says Eric, between kisses. He trails his lips down my throat and I notice the angry red scratches on his shoulders.
"Oh, my god, Eric! I scratched you up! I'm so sorry!"
He touches his shoulder gently and smiles at me. "I like it," he says. "That means I did my job right."
"You sure did." We smile at each other as I pet his face. "You're going to the counselor?" I just need confirmation before I allow myself to celebrate.
He kisses my palm. "I am. About time, right?"
"Don't do that, Eric. This is a big step for you and it makes sense that it took you awhile to get here. There's nothing wrong with that."
"Thanks," he says, squeezing my hand. His eyes shine with emotion as I kiss his wet fingers where they are wrapped around mine.
"You're still inside of me," I whisper, as if he wasn't aware.
"I know," he whispers back.
"We should get out and clean up. Sander will be back soon." I start to raise myself off of Eric and we both watch the slightly opaque cloud that forms in the water where we were joined.
I look at him and wrinkle my nose and he laughs.
"Mmm, cum water," he says, grinning like an idiot. He splashes the water onto my chest and I shriek and flail.
"Stop it! You suck!" I dissolve into giggles and Eric just smiles at me, his eyes so loving as he gazes at my face.
"I love you," he whispers and then he turns around to drain the tub and turn on the hand shower so we can rinse off.
"I love you, too."
A/N- I was surprised at the number of you who thought I would ever bring Eric and Sophie back together. NEVER! I hope you are satisfied with Eric's reaction to her. I'm sure there is nothing more Eric would have liked than to shake and scream at Sophie but he can't and I hope you understand why. He is obligated to Annika first of all- before he can fulfill his angry fantasies he has to protect his baby.
