Chapter 21
The world seemed to stand still just for a moment as I stared at Dean, the look in his eyes, one of anger and disappointment, or was that hate and uncertainty, either way I took a breath, because no matter what I did from that moment forward, from any moment since John's death, Dean was never going to forgive me.
Slowly, I closed my eyes, knowing there was no way to win any battle that the older Winchester brought to me, because I wouldn't fight, I would just accept what he lashed out, even if that meant death. Sound seemed to stop with that one little motion, the wind didn't blow, the earth didn't move and when I opened my eyes, I was staring at a wall, one that was covered in drawings, papers that were just tacked about in some obscure fashion.
"Ali?" I heard my name once more, but this time the voice was just a bit higher and the surprise in it was more of a relief. I turned on the spot, dropped the bloody blade from my hand and listened to it hit the floor.
Sam stood next to the doorway, his eyes wide with confusion and I shook myself out of the daze before I drew in a deep breath. Sound rushed at me all at once, and overwhelming hit to my ears and I reached out for him, not sure if he moved or I did, but his strong arms were wrapped tightly around my waist as his face buried into my curve of my neck, his lips danced along my skin as he sought out and found me.
His kiss was possessive, as if we had been gone for months instead of moments and I sunk into that feeling, even as the vision of his death clouded my mind. His hand threaded up through my hair, just like mine did with his, holding us both in a spot that neither wanted to move away from and I moaned as his breath captured mine.
The heat that turned in my stomach now sat lower and mixed with an animalistic need for him, for his touch, for his body, for Sam! And I dared to hold on tighter, until I felt the vibration against my leg, the way his cellphone seemed to chirp in his pocket and he pulled away, only to look down, his forehead against mine as he pulled it angrily from the confines of his jeans.
Dean's number appeared on the screen and just to shut the thing up, Sam pressed the accept and then the speaker on the touchpad.
"Dean?" His voice was full of two things, a question of what inspired him to call, and an anger that he was interrupted.
"Sam!" Dean growled over the line. "Where the hell is Ali?"
"She's standing right here," he replied, backing away as he looked me over.
"How long has she been there?" Was the next question from that he barked over the phone.
"Since I walked in the door," he grumbled, getting a little irritated. "What the hell is going on, Man?"
"If she's been there the whole time, how the hell did I just see her do a slice and dice on three demons behind a bar when she's supposed to be locked away at one of Dad's safehouses?" I stepped back from Sam as my heart began to race and my lips trembled. I looked down at my hands, at the blood that coated them and then over at the blade that rested on the floor. "Tell me she's not transporting her ass around the city, cutting up monsters when Cas promised she would be safe where she was!"
I shook my head, there was no answer for him, nothing that I could say that would change what Dean had seen, what I had done and Sam's lips became tight as his jaw clenched.
"Where's Danni?" I questioned, my eyes flickering between them as I suddenly remembered the massive energy transfer that had gone on between Zane and I. "Dean, where's Danni? Is she safe?"
"Sam," Dean snapped, ignoring me, "you better keep a tighter leash on your girl, because if you won't than I will!"
With that the line went dead, and my eyes focused on Cas, who moved over towards me. "Danni wasn't affected by the transfer, Ali, she's fine."
"Ali, seriously," Sam spoke up, "did you just do what he said? Did you kill three demons while we were gone?"
I paused only a moment, trying to gather my thoughts, and I took a deep breath before answering.
"I put my head back on the couch, I closed my eyes and the next thing I know I'm in an alley in Old Town, behind a bar, I think," Sam stepped forward but I raised my bloody right hand and watched him stop in his tracks. "I thought I was dreaming. I thought what was going on was just some sort of stupid sequence left over from Zane but then I saw Dean and when I opened my eyes again, I was staring at the wall." I looked at Cas, totally confused, because that was exactly how I felt. "Can I do that? Can I teleport?"
"We don't know what kind of powers you have, Ali, that's what worries me." Cas replied. "This is an unknown, you, as you are now, are an unknown player in this game."
"It's not a game!" Sam snapped and stepped closer, his stare suddenly locked onto the rip in my sleeve.
"It was a figure of speech." Cas explained which got nothing but a dirty look from him.
"What happened?" Sam questioned as he deposited his phone on the table and took ahold of my wrist. I let him move the fabric out of the way to stare at the angry looking cut that marred my skin, one that was still bleeding.
"An angel blade," I whispered, curious myself as to why it hadn't healed and I felt his fingers slide over it. Hissing that the pain that flowed from it, I tried to pull back from his grip, but Sam only tugged me closer, and into the bathroom, where he had me sit down. I just let him do what he needed too, lifting my arms only to aid him in removing my shirt and listened as he sighed at the amount of blood that covered my skin. "I should shower."
"Yeah, that might be a good idea." He grumbled and stood, leaving the door opened as he went and I looked out at Cas as I reached for the buttons of my jeans.
I didn't bother to close the door as I stripped, they would have just opened it anyway, but Cas turned around, letting me have some sort of privacy as Sam leaned against the back of the couch, staring at me as I slipped behind the plastic curtain.
The heat of the water against my skin was like needles and I clenched my teeth as I washed the blood from every part of me, scrubbed my hair until my scalp felt raw and listened to the sound of someone just on the other side of the curtain. I closed my eyes, placed my face into the stream and stood there for just a moment, letting the pain take over.
"Does it hurt?" Sam asked and I whirled to see him leaning against the back of the wall, just outside the shower, curtain drawn back so that he was able to look me over.
"Nothing hurts anymore," I answered plainly and crossed my arms, rubbing the bruises on my neck, seeing the dark blue and purple marks that covered me from the last two fights, but my eyes settled on the blood that still dripped from the blade wound. "Why hasn't it healed?"
"Cas said it was probably because it was an angel blade, that's all he could come up with." Sam shrugged. "He's right though, you're kind of an unknown right now, we don't know what will hurt you and what won't. The worst part, we don't know what will heal you either. I mean, regular cuts we've seen, but angel blades? What happens if Dean's blade touches you?"
"If Dean's blade is touching me," I smiled, "it's because I'm about to die."
"Dean isn't going to kill you, Ali," Sam sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Look, I'm not going to let my brother hurt you, and I sure as hell am not going to sit idly by and watch Zane do whatever the hell he wants to you either."
"Sam," I stepped closer to him, out of the stream of water, and paused.
Did I reach out, did I hold back but he was the one that moved, pulling a towel around me when I was near enough to do so and he tucked it under my arm I moved out of the tub. I listened to him shut the water off as I faced the mirror and he grabbed a hand towel to wrap around the dripping wound.
"We're going to have to stitch it," he whispered close to my ear as I stared into the mirror. It had felt like forever since I had seen my own reflections and right now I didn't feel like I was looking at me, I was seeing someone else. Bright blue, almost glowing eyes, jet black hair and such pale skin, but not sickly looking, no just pale. Even the color under my eyes, the bags that should have been there from lack of sleep were gone, and it took the heat of Sam's lips against my temple to rip me out of the trance I was in. I stepped back, turned my head and looked up at him. "Where did you go?"
"I just," I started and glanced at the reflection again, "she doesn't look like me." I answered and left the bathroom, sensing him following behind. "I mean, I know that's me, I know she is me, but she doesn't look like I feel."
"Do you think you look bad?" Cas questioned and it was an honest one from someone who didn't really get the point of caring how you looked and I smiled at him.
"I don't recognize her." I shrugged and moved towards the couch, completely aware of the fact that all I was wearing was the towel. Cas picked the bag up from the floor next to where he sat and handed it to me. "What's this?"
"Clothes," he whispered, and looked away in embarrassment. "I… I didn't go through your underwear, I'm sorry, I didn't grab any."
"Thank you, Cas," I laughed and shook my head, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, "these will work just fine."
He nodded, stood and left the room, stepping just outside the door as I pulled on the pants under the towel. I looked up at Sam, who watched me from where he stood next to the table. He had managed to set up a small triage area in order to take care of my arm, and still keep his eyes locked on me as I changed.
"Shirt on or off?" I questioned, holding up the large shirt that I believed was actually his and he smiled.
"Leave the towel on for now, it will be easier." I nodded, made my way over to the chair and sat down. I avoided his eyes as he scooted up beside me, the heat from him was almost too much and he was almost too close, but I caught my racing heart and my breathing as his fingers slipped around my arm. "Do you want something to dull the pain?"
"Like what? Whiskey?" I smiled and looked around the room. "Doesn't look like John kept any of it here."
"I can have Cas fly out and get some." He grinned as I finally met those blue-green eyes, but I just shook my head. "This isn't going to be a cakewalk, Ali, this is pretty deep."
"The pain keeps me human, Sam." I sighed and looked away, feeling the back of his fingers brush my cheek for just a second before he let out a breath and grabbed the threaded needle from the table.
The first initial pinch of the tip going through stung, in fact, I cried out in pain but never moved. When it passed through the muscle and out the other side, I hissed at it, but after the next two, things started to get numb, or I just was used to the pain. It seemed to stir something in me, some primal need for contact and my hand moved from my leg to his thigh, gripping the inside seam of his jeans.
Sam cleared his throat, moved just a little bit in order to accommodate what I assume was his body's response to my hand being so close to the bulge that was beginning to show in his jeans. I rolled my eyes as the pain suddenly came back full force and I moaned from it, firing those receptors up and I closed my eyes.
"Sam, you have to stop," I whispered and quickly moved my hand away from him as he tied the stitch that he was working on. I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and all I could feel was the need that was taking over me. "I need to breath, you have to move away."
"Why?" he questioned, and shivered as I locked my eyes on his.
"I want you too much," I pleaded, "and I don't want to hurt you."
"You're not going to hurt me," his voice caught and suddenly it deepened as I began to shake. "You tell me all the time that I won't do any damage, and I'm telling you that you won't hurt me."
"It's so much," I could feel the tears welling up as my hand grasped the table, fingers digging into the wood. "So much," I sighed and my eyes went down from his, over his lips, down his neckline to where the v-neck shirt he wore exposed his chest. "I don't have the control, Sam."
"You don't have to," he reached out towards me and traced my lips with the pad of his thumb, and the heat ripped through me, "you just have to let me finish stitching you up."
"No!" I growled and moved from the seat, pushing it back as I moved across the room.
He didn't feel what I did, how could he, but the need was too great, the want was too much. Who the hell was I kidding anyway, nothing I could do to him would actually hurt, but I could be blunt and brutal and the thoughts of what he could do to me, what I wanted him to do to me would kill him.
I spotted the blade on the counter, sitting there and I felt the vibration from it from where I stood. Sam watched my eyes lock on the handle and before I could step forward, he had it in his hand. This stopped me, the confusion probably evident on my face as he looked from me to the blade itself.
"I thought only you could weld it," he whispered and I shook my head quickly.
"I thought so too," I replied and slowly he put it down.
He moved closer, but my eyes were on the blade, until his hands were on my face. I felt the rush of heat that spread from his touch to the spot where it pooled hot and wet and I moaned into his kiss. I wanted to push him off but when I grasped his shirt, it was only to tug him in.
His hands slide from my face, one gripping the back of my neck, moving up to tangle in my hair and the other pressed against the small of my back, bringing me in until there was nothing separating us. I heard him give a low growl, deep in his throat as he stepped backwards, moving to the small bedroom that was off just to the right of the kitchen.
When he spun me around, he reached out and blindly kicked the door shut as he backed me up towards the bed. In a rush, I felt the towel fall way and the sweats that were already loose on me stripped off before he rested me down on the mattress, his weight pressing me against it from the waist down. I could feel his need through the stretch of the course material that he wore, and wondered how the zipper ever held when he was that excited.
His mouth branded as he moved, his hand tucked under my neck as his thumb and pointer held my chin, keeping me right where he wanted, and I closed my eyes as I turned my head, exposing more of my neck to him. I pulled at his shirt, wanting more skin on skin contact and managed to get it off with very little effort, but as I went for the belt, I felt him growl against my collarbone.
"Sam," I huffed, angry that I was being denied but turned on that he was in control. He laughed as he marked me with small nips of his teeth, a feeling that sent chills over my skin and heat racing between my legs. I lifted my hips, trying to make contact with what I wanted most, and wrapped my legs around his, pinning him to me. My fingers gripped his hair as he teased and licked at my nipples, getting more than a whimper from me. "I need you."
"You need me," he whispered, coming back up to hover over me, his lips just a breath from mine as he free hand smoothed over the length of my body, down my ribs and over my hips, those fingers sliding between us as he then teased the wet folds, flicking at the over sensitive nub and I rolled my eyes as pushed up against the fingers that explored. "You need me where?"
"Oh," I whispered as he slipped a finger in and curled it around to strike against the spot just inside my core, a feeling that had me arching up as I pressed down on that finger, "God, Sam!"
His mouth began its travels once more, this time following a straight line down to tease along my navel, as a second finger joined the first and my world started to spin. I tugged on those locks, not sure if I wanted him to come back up so I could kiss him, or push him lower so he could kiss me… elsewhere, but when I looked down at the darkened blue-green of his eyes, I knew that no matter what I wanted, he was going to do whatever he desired.
"I want you to shake," he whispered as he knelt down on the floor, where my knees bent, and his lips moved to my thighs, little shocks of pain went through me as his teeth snapped down on the skin there.
If he wanted it, he certainly was getting it because as he whispered, he blew hot breath on an even hotter spot and it made my toes curl as his tongue flicked out and my hands went from his head to the sheets beneath me. I bit down on my lip, hoping to stifle the cry that built up in me as he captured me with his mouth, bringing the heat up once again. He teased and tortured for what felt like forever as I moved against his fingers, and his tongue before he suddenly took the wet heat of his lips away and came back up to claim mine once again.
I could taste myself on him and as strange as it was, it did wild things to me that I didn't really understand,Sam flipped me on the bed, not that I put up much of a fight, but I felt his thighs against my own as his hands moved up my back, caressing both my arms as he took my wrist and raised them above my head.
Holding me with one hand, with it gripped around my tiny wrists, his weight pressed me against the bed and I felt him reach down with his free hand, press the tip against me and suddenly push in. I buried my face into the comforter as he moved against me, his hips slamming up against my cheeks as he drove deep and hard and as much as it sent shocks through my body, it was probably the most amazing thing I had ever felt.
His fingers spread across the small of my back moved down until his thumb was pressed against me and he thrust the pad of it in without preparation and the burning feeling that made me hiss as he continued to thrust deep in both openings, was replaced by pure ecstasy. It was pain and pleasure all at once as he put his forehead on the spot between my shoulders, pushing up and in as fast as he could, alternating between himself in one and his thumb in the other and I knew I couldn't take much more.
He was just about at the edge of his will to hold back and quickly he moved, removing himself with one swift motion and again I found myself on my back. He had released my wrists, grabbed my hips with both his hands as he positioned himself, before bringing his lips crushing down on my mouth, something I was waiting for, needing, and as soon as I moved my hands from the sheets and up under his arms to grip his shoulders, he was slipping inside me again.
I tilted my head back, breaking the connection as he thrust forwards, filling me completely and his teeth bit down on the side of my neck, in his favorite spot. This time he wasn't gentle, he had me pinned to the bed, his mouth holding my shoulder down, his body pressing in and around me I dug my fingers into the muscles of his back as I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving the angle so that he could go deeper, to satisfy the rage that was filling me at the same time he was.
His pace was hard, fast and deep and I felt every touch until it built up to where I couldn't take it anymore. I moaned through clenched teeth and pressed his head down, letting him dig those teeth deeper as he sucked on the skin there, branding me. Marking me as his was what Dean had called it before. I was his, I had never not been his! I had just never known what I was missing him from my life and with that thought, the one of letting him take complete control of my heart, body and soul, I was sent careening over the edge and I sure as hell was taking him with me.
Sam stiffened as he pushed with short movement, taking his mouth from my skin as he moaned close to my ear. I heard him almost growl at his release and slowly came to rest, his arms bent at the elbows as he propped himself up, but put his forehead down just below my chin.
I relaxed my legs, just a little, closed my eyes and pressed one hand to the back of his head, the other across his shoulders and I felt him move, slipping his arms behind me as he gathered me up, turned his head to the side and placed his cheek against my chest, listening to the beat of my heart. I let myself relax, let his weight and warmth comfort me, let it take the demons from my mind and I noticed how silent it had become within the confines of my mental walls. I couldn't help but smile because he seemed to protect me from myself on the inside as well as out.
I felt him shift around, kick off his shoes, shimmy out of the rest of his jeans and he scooped me up, maneuvering the both of us around on the bed as he turned me on my side and pressed up close behind me, wrapping his arms and legs around my body. I felt the warmth of his breath against my ear as he shifted my hair aside and let his lips linger there.
"I love you," he said softly and I shifted backwards towards him. "I'm going to protect you from this."
I let out a breath, just one before I turned over and faced him, my arms tucked up against his chest as he stared down at me.
"What if you can't?" I questioned, "what if I can't even protect myself from this, Sam, how are you going to save me when I'm not sure I can save myself?"
"I don't know, Ali, but I'm never going to let you go, and I'm never going to stop trying, you know that." And I did, I really did know that Sam would be the one that had a hold on me forever, but there was so much that neither of us knew, hell, none of us knew, even Cas. I snuggled closer as his hold tightened and his chin rested against the top of my head. "Get some rest, then I'll get my stuff and we'll research the hell out of this, there has got to be answers somewhere."
"You're right," I whispered, trying to convince myself that he really was, but deep down I knew that there were only two ways this could possibly end, one with Dean and one with Cas, either way, I wasn't making it out of this unscathed. I pressed my hand to his heart, and prayed that when it did end, that I wasn't there to feel it breaking.
Cas was standing outside the front door, on the small porch that John had built, or Asmodeus, whichever had taken over to craft the cabin, and he was staring up at the stars when I stepped out beside him. Sam was resting, though I was sure he wasn't sleeping, and I tugged the blanket that I had wrapped myself in tighter around me as I also took in a deep breath of the night air and looked up at the specks of light in the sky.
"I killed three demons today, in an alley that I didn't even know I was in," I sighed and bit angrily on the inside of my lip, "I sucked the power right out of Zane and I could have killed you. Cas, the hell am I becoming?"
"My best guess," he sighed, and out of the corner of my eye, I watched him shift his weight before he turned to look at me, "something not unlike a Nephilim, expect much more powerful."
"Okay, so my guess is that this probably the most accurate description either of us is going to come up with but," I turned to look at him, "Why the good and evil side, aren't they all just angels? I mean even if I was the spawn of some Prince of Hell and Danni was your… boss, or whatever's, love child, how is it possible for it to be split?"
"That I have no idea on," he sighed and reached out, gently moving the blanket to look at the wound on my arm. "But the fact that you're not healing from the angel blade tells me that you have some sort of angelic power in you, it's just a bit twisted."
"Great," I shook my head and turned back to look up at the sky, "that's just perfect."
"Ali, what we talked about," he started and I could see his lips tighten, "you know that the possibility of it working to the extent that you desire is… well, there's no guarantee it will work at all."
"Then we'll figure out something else," I replied and tugged the blanket tighter, "until then we're sticking with the plan."
"I don't think it's…" he started but I turned and looked at him.
"It's either this or Dean is going to kill me, so take your pick, Feathers, cause one way or the other, this isn't going to end well." I watched him pull a Dean move, roll his eyes so hard that his head went with him and he turned away from me as I stepped off the porch into the growing darkness.
"Don't wander too far, the dampening spells only work to an extent," he snapped back as if he were my keeper and I waved my hand in the air, moving just past the light from the dingy cabin windows.
I stepped through the trees, looking at the lights ahead of me, curious to see why there were so many of them when we were miles away from anyone else but as I cleared the tree line, I stopped dead in my tracks.
"No. Freaking. Way!" I stated aloud as I stared at the sleek, black contours of the Impala in front of me.
