Harry and the Pirates

Chapter 45

The Dark Side of the Moon

by Technomad

Keeping the two killers in sight proved to be difficult, at best. They were very elusive, taking full advantage of every shadow and corner, as they slipped down Roanapur's darkest back alleys with an aplomb equal to a lifelong resident of the city. Harry, Luna and Dudley had to run, all-out, when they could, just to keep from losing track of them.

Out across the town, they could hear a roaring crescendo of automatic-weapons fire, culminated by an explosion. Harry and Dudley looked at each other knowingly. "Guess that the decoys found out that taking this job wasn't such a good idea," Dudley said dryly.

Luna looked puzzled. "What do you mean, Dudley?"

Dudley looked down fondly at their little friend. "What you just heard, Luna, was the sound of two fools being collected by Father Darwin." Luna still looked blank, so Dudley explained further: "The killers we're tracking paid those two Thai kids to drive their car out of town, probably knowing that people were looking for that particular car. Sure enough, it was tracked, and there's a huge reward out for them, alive or dead, so the car got shot up."

"But…wouldn't that kill them?" Luna looked horrified. Harry was amused for a moment, but then he remembered that for all her courage and her travels, Luna had been sheltered in ways that he and Dudley hadn't. Both boys nodded. Luna's eyes went very wide. "Oh, those poor children! How could those two have been so cruel to them?"

"Luna," Dudley said gently, "those two are cruel to everybody. Private Sakharov didn't do anything to them, as far as we know. They not only shot him, but dragged him away and tortured him horribly, just for fun!"

"Shooting him was one thing, and if they're working for another boss trying to move in, that's excusable. It's all part of the game. But torturing him that way was unforgivable," Harry said. "Balalaika sees it as a deliberate insult."

"Do you think they were doing it to try to make her angry enough to lose her good judgement?" Luna asked. Harry's eyes went wide and he looked at Dudley. Both boys shook their heads.

"You do have a talent for asking cogent questions, poppet," Dudley finally said. He opened his mouth to say more, but both boys' phones vibrated; in Roanapur, cell phones seldom made noise.

Over the phone came Balalaika's voice: "Boys, I'm pulling you back. It turns out that you were right; that car was a decoy. Bring Luna along, and get back to HQ as fast as you can!"

"You heard the lady! Come on, Dudley, Luna! We've got to go!" The three turned and ran for home. In a few minutes, Harry and Dudley were thundering through the door. They skidded to a stop in front of Petunia's desk.

Petunia gave them a look of relief, mixed with wonder. "Oh, thank God, you're back! And safe and sound!" She looked around. "But…where's Luna?"

Harry and Dudley looked around. Harry felt like his blood was turned into ice water when he didn't see Luna. "Uh…she was right with us, just now! Dudley, where the Hell is Luna?"

"I don't know! She was right with us!" Dudley's face was white with fear. He looked at Harry, and Harry could see that his cousin was screaming inside. Just like he was.

Luna picked herself up. She'd been right with the boys; she was one of the fastest runners in her year at Hogwarts. The other girls teased her that when she decided she wanted a boyfriend, she could just go out and run down the one she wanted, before dragging him back to her lair and working her wicked will…whatever that meant. She shook her head to clear it. The boys had disappeared; they had been running all-out when she'd tripped and fallen, and they hadn't noticed she wasn't still with them.

Other girls would have been worried. She was not other girls. She was Luna Lovegood, she was a witch, and she did not grok fear. She looked up, instinctively looking for the stars, only to be reminded that this was a city alley, not the countryside she was more familiar with. Even so, she had her wand, and she felt more than equal to dealing with any situation that was thrown at her. She began moving off down the alley, noting in passing that one of her ankles had been twisted, which would slow her up.

Before she could get far, though, she had company. The blond boy and girl they had been tracking were on either side of her, smiling unsettling smiles. Before she could get away, she was grabbed and her arm twisted behind her back. And, worse luck, it was the arm that had her wand in its leather sheath lying alongside her forearm.

"Oh, look, sora mea! It's that girl who was following us!" The boy's voice was high and sweet; it put Luna in mind of ice breaking under her feet on a pond, too far from shore to get there safely. His smile…Luna had seen friendlier smiles on sharks. His eyes were the same color as hers were, but looking into them was like staring into endless fathoms of ice.

"What shall we do with her, fratele meu? I think she's one of those English who work for the Russian lady…the lady we were brought here to kill!" The girl laughed a tinkling laugh. "Wouldn't it be funny if we killed her? We killed the Italians who brought us here, and that was funny!" Luna decided that she did not like these two, not one little bit she didn't.

"We could kill her…but I have a better plan! We still want to kill the Russian lady, don't we?"

"Oh, yes, fratele meu! Killing her would be such fun!" The girl looked sad for a moment. "But getting close to her is so difficult…"

"We now have a way to make her let us get close!" The boy's eyes gleamed, and he whispered into his sister's ear. As he whispered, she smiled, more and more broadly.

"Oh, that's a wonderful idea, fratele meu! They're soft, aren't they? They'd fall for that trick in a second!"

Luna cleared her throat. "You don't have to do this, you know! You don't have to kill Miss Balalaika!" Both twins looked at her like she was furniture that had suddenly spoken to them. "If the people who hired you are dead, you can just leave the city and nobody will be the wiser!"

"It isn't that we have to kill the Russian woman…" the boy purred, leaning in closer than Luna liked, and looking at her like he was trying to see through her clothes. Luna was no coward, but she really didn't like the way he was looking at her.

"It's that we want to!" The girl, holding Luna's arm, laughed as though she'd just heard the jolliest joke ever told. "Not killing people…pooh! Who ever heard of such an outlandish idea?"

"We have to kill more and more and more people, so that we can live on and on!" With that, the boy suddenly punched her one, and Luna felt like the world had exploded, before she fell down a deep, dark well into absolute blackness.

When Harry and Dudley reported in to Balalaika, the Russian crime queen was displeased, but only showed it by the narrowing of her eyes. "I shall put out an alert to my own men, and tell the other bosses…Chang, Abrego, and the Thais at least; I am not sure if Verrocchio or his men are still among the living…to be on the lookout for her. I shall also report her missing to Chief Watsap. The local police are fairly worthless, but this may be a job that's up to their meager talents. Let them earn the bribes I pay them for once."

"Thank you, ma'am!" gasped Harry.

"Ma'am…" sniffled Dudley, who was holding back tears by main force, "I'm so sorry! If we get her back, please don't punish her! It was all my fault!"

Balalaika's eyes went wide. "While I appreciate your willingness to accept blame, Dudley Vernonivich, I do not believe that, at this time, any blame should properly attach to you. I dislike punishing those who have done no wrong."

"But I was supposed to be watching out for her…"

"You are not her father, nor her military superior, nor her teacher, nor her employer, Dudley Vernonivich. And she strikes me as a singularly level-headed young woman, whose eccentric manner conceals a great deal of intelligence and courage. Even if she has fallen into evil circumstances, she may well win herself free. We may see her walking on in here with a tale of adventure, or at least, of getting a bit lost in those alleys, before too long." Balalaika almost smiled. "That said, your willingness to accept responsibility for your friend, and your recognition that you may have erred, speaks very well for you."

When they were dismissed, both boys sagged with relief. Harry, at least, had expected to be raked right over the coals by Balalaika, and thought that he deserved it richly. Luna had travelled before, to be sure, but most of her travels had taken her to the wild, remote places where she and her Daddy thought that the rare creatures they endlessly pursued lived. She was not nearly as streetwise as he and Dudley were, and he now thought that letting her come along to the Yellowflag had been an insanely risky decision.

However, night turned into day, and there was no sign of Luna. Neither Petunia, Dudley nor Harry had got a wink of sleep; they'd paced around Bougainvillea Trading's offices all night long, hoping desperately to see Luna come ambling in with her usual air of bemused good will for all. They had left a note at their apartment, telling Luna to either call or come to Bougainvillea Trading. But the phone remained silent.

Balalaika and Sergeant Boris were concerned, too, but they had other things to think about. "We have come up with a plan to draw those two out of hiding. Your information that I was the main target, and that the Italians were behind it, helped us formulate it," she told them.

When she explained, both boys were horrified. "Ma'am…you mustn't risk it! You mustn't risk yourself! You're indispensable!" Dudley cried.

Balalaika smiled slightly and patted his cheek. "Dudley Vernonovich…I read somewhere that 'the graveyards are full of indispensable men.' You're sweet to worry about me…and Sergeant Boris, here, shares your concerns…but I think I shall be all right. I was risking my life for my country long before either of you were born, and risking my life for my men is nothing I can not handle."

Harry thought fast…he did not like this plan at all! "Ma'am…may I suggest a slight alteration of the original plan? It won't affect much…" He talked as fast as he could, and when he was done, Balalaika and Sergeant Boris exchanged significant glances.

"Harry, I would be pleased to take your suggestions. And I think I can speak for the Sergeant when I say that we are both proud of you and Dudley." Harry blushed bright red.

The sun shone down brightly on Roanapur's main public square. Balalaika sat at ease on a bench near two large bushes, with the square open in front of her, and none of her men in sight. She pulled out a cigar, cut off the end, lit it, and took a long, refreshing drag. She narrowed her eyes, partly in pleasure at the fine taste of the Cuban tobacco, and partly because she'd seen movement at the other end of the square. The plan was coming together.

"You may come out, you two," she called, her voice as calm as if she were merely ordering dinner. "I can see you over there."

Sure enough, the tow-headed twins came out, their white-blond hair gleaming in the bright Thai sunlight. The girl was dragging what looked like a half-conscious Luna Lovegood with her, holding a knife to the English witch's throat. "How did you see us?"

"I saw you moving." At their crestfallen expressions, Balalaika hastened to add: "Oh, you hid very well. I think that your prisoner may have hampered you, though."

"She did." The girl's high, sweet voice sounded like a character in an old Russian children's video. "Without dragging her along, we could have made better time."

"But we are here. And you won't hurt us, or let us be hurt, will you, ma'am?" The boy sounded very sure. "If you do, at the first sign of trouble, she dies!"

"Oh, she does, does she?" Balalaika's manner was as easy as if she were discussing something of no great import. "And you believe she matters to me because…?"

"We know she works for you, ma'am. You care about everybody that's yours. We're much more free and happy than you are. The only people in the world we care about are each other." Both twins gave her beaming smiles.

"The others…like you…only exist so we can kill them. The more we kill, the more we live. We kill so that we can live on, and on, and on."

By this time, the twins were closer, and Balalaika's keen sniper's eye had noticed something. Luna was not nearly as dazed as she was letting on she was, although she looked battered, and had one eye nearly closed with a bruise. She was stumbling along, with the girl's knife at her throat, and at a glance she looked utterly out of it, but her eyes gave it away. Luckily, the girl couldn't see her face, and the boy was focused solely on Balalaika.

As the twins talked, Luna gently slipped her wand out of its arm sheath. She looked straight at Balalaika, and Balalaika nodded once, briefly.

"Petrificus Totalus! Incarcerus!" All of a sudden, the monstrous twins were first paralyzed, then tied up, neat as ninepence. Luna stepped away from them, slipping her wand back into its sheath and dusting her hands daintily, as though she had done nothing more than dirty them slightly at a formal tea.

Harry and Dudley emerged from the bushes, their wands in their hands. Their faces bore identical expressions of wonder and respect. "That was beautiful, Luna!" Harry gasped. "Professors Snape and Flitwick will be so proud when they hear of this!"

Dudley was more direct. "Come here, Luna!" He opened his arms, and Luna flew into them. Dudley hugged Luna hard, and Luna hugged him back. "Never scare me that way again, Luna!" Dudley sobbed.

"Don't be so upset, Dudley. I was never in any real danger. I knew you'd be nearby, and if I couldn't get my own wand out, you would take care of me. I'm always safe with you!" They hugged again, even harder.

Meanwhile, Balalaika was standing over the terrified twins, who clearly couldn't understand how the tables had been turned so neatly. "Overconfidence." Balalaika shook her head sadly, deploring the sins and weaknesses of mortal man. "It has been the downfall of better than the likes of you."

"What do you plan to do with them, ma'am?" Harry was looking at the two captives curiously, but with no compassion. His green eyes were hard as emerald.

"I don't know. I…" Suddenly, Balalaika found herself confronted by Luna, who was standing between her and the twins. Her wand was in her hand, but not pointed.

"I beg your pardon, ma'am, but they are not your captives. They are mine. I captured them." Luna's tone was perfectly respectful, but her chin was out and she gave Balalaika stare for stare.

"Oh, they are?" Balalaika raised an eyebrow. "And what do you plan to do with them, Miss Lovegood?" She snorted slightly. "Keep them as pets? I'd think that homicidal maniacs such as they would tax the ingenuity even of witches and wizards!" At those words, the twins began sweating, their eyes wide with terror.

"Oh, we have many options. Daddy and I can keep them restrained, with the help of the Thai Ministry of Magic, and get them back to England. Once there, we can put them into St. Mungo's Hospital. If they can't do anything…and the people at St. Mungo's are very, very good…there's always the Dementor's Kiss." Luna smiled.

"What is the Dementor's Kiss?" Balalaika, against her will, was curious. She thought about the implications of a whole secret world of wizards and witches existing side-by-side with the world she knew. It only made sense that they had hospitals. But "Dementors" was a new one.

"A Dementor, ma'am, is sort of a spirit of unhappiness and despair. Even being near them is dreadful; they feed by draining happy memories away from their victims. We use them as guards over the wizarding prison of Azkaban. They can suck the soul out of someone by 'kissing' them. Someone who's been Kissed is a mindless, soulless husk. They breathe, they live, but everything they ever were is gone. A living zombie." Balalaika felt her stomach twist, and she stared at the blonde English witch as though Luna had grown a second head.

Balalaika had not known Luna long, but she had figured out that Luna Lovegood did not ever lie directly, and generally knew what she was talking about. If she said such a thing was possible, it was possible. "You'll make sure they never come back here?"

"Never. Our Mind-Healers can scrub their brains clean, and when we're done, they'll never want to kill again!"

Balalaika would have much preferred to have killed the terrible twins slowly, but she had learned a very healthy respect for wands, witches in general, and Luna Lovegood very much in particular. "Very well. You may keep them. And you shall receive the rewards that have been offered for their capture.

Just keep them restrained and put them in the hands of this Thai Ministry of Magic. If they get loose, though, they are mine." Balalaika's smile was pure predator at that thought.

"Oh, I understand, ma'am. Harry? Dudley?" Both boys were gaping at Luna as though they'd never seen her before. "Could one of you find me a felly-tone? I don't know where there's a Floo connection around here, but I know the felly-tone number for the Thai Ministry of Magic's foreign liaison."

"Can do." Dudley hauled out his cell, activated it and handed it to Luna. His other hand held his wand, and he covered the twins while Luna punched buttons. Both cousins were gobsmacked to see Balalaika backed down, and by sweet, mild-mannered Luna, of all people!

END Chapter 45