Summary: Think about it. What was Seph like prior to Nibelheim? Did he ever have sick days, hangovers, telemarketers that would not leave him alone? Well, you can bet your ugly f-king boots he did! And so this fic, which will eventually become a series of oneshots/drabbles, has come into being. Proof that Sephiroth is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, as human as you and I!

Disclaimer: Lemme check real quick. Hmmm... Nope. I still don't own Final Fantasy VII or Sephiroth. He visits me from time to time, but I don't own him. Truth be told, I don't think Square Enix really does either. They just say they do.

Queen's Quornor: OK. Now I know that somewhere, sometime, somebody asked to see a chapter involving Reno and Zack getting sick and Seph taking care of them, seeing as how there have been two previous chapters where he got sick (Chap 2 and 11). Problem is, I can't find it. I think it was requested via PM. Well, whoever you were, here's the chapter!

Guardian

Sephiroth was not pleased.

Today was the Presidential Military Review (or Hell Day, as the SOLDIERs called it), but due to a new drug the scientists had implemented, half of the men and women under his command were too sick to perform their manuevers. At last count, Sephiroth had most of his non-SOLDIERs, half of the Third Classes, a fourth of the Second Classes, and a grand total of five First Classes. There were barely enough COs to command the warriors, and no chance that the men could impress the President in their current state (they were not bed-ridden, but they weren't in great shape either).

The Turks couldn't pull off their yearly display of hand-to-hand demonstrations, trick-shooting, and stealth manuevers (the known ones, that was. They didn't show everything in this annual humili-fest); they had been injected with the new drug too, and only two of them were not currently languishing in misery on the hospital levels.

The day was already a disaster, and it hadn't even started yet!

Sephiroth finished typing up his written explanation of why he was canceling the day's events with the intent to reschedule at a later date, and printed it off. Signing the dotted line, he handed it off to Christine, whom he had called in to deliver the letter to the President. She strolled out of his office with a saucy sway to her hips and a flash of her perfected 'bedroom eyes.'

The silver-haired man was tempted to take what she offered once more, but he pushed the thought away and departed his office for the medical wing.

He had something far more important to attend to.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

It was not often that the med-labs had so many patients. But today every bed, and a lot of the floor, was full. The doctors, nurses, orderlies, and scientists were running themselves into the ground tending to the needs of the ailing SOLDIERs and Turks, with no relief in sight anytime soon.

The new injection had varied effects on its victims. Vomiting, severe headaches, sensitivity to light, joint pains, and heart problems were the major side-effects, but there were others showing up. Tacchycardia, fluid in the lungs and chest cavity, rapid bone necrosis, seizures, and nightmarish hallucinations had already made their appearance in roughly half of the men and women, resulting in several deaths. Two of the orderlies, in fact, were carrying out the body of a Turk who had managed to kill herself during one such hallucination when Sephiroth entered the area.

The Turks and First Classes had all gotten semi-private rooms (fully private rooms and suites had gone to high-ranked officers until the rooms had run out). By chance, the two people who had gotten under his skin and become his friends had been assigned to a single room.

Reno was sitting up in bed rubbing at his knees and hips when Sephiroth came in. Zack's bed was empty, but the sheets were thrown about in such a way that he suspected he had been temporarily moved for some kind of emergency. He hoped the younger man was all right; Shinra's doctors were not a sadistic bunch, but with the scientists helping out, who knew what could happen? Reno looked up, and flashed the older man a tired, pained grin.

"Hey, General. Come to pay your last respects to the dying?"

"You're not fading anytime soon, Reno. You're too onery for that." Sephiroth sat down between the two beds. "Where's Zack?"

"They took him away. Guy couldn't stop having seizures." Reno grunted as he massaged his left knee. "Damn, this hurts! And they won't give me any painkillers for it!"

"The drugs would only react with the one that made you sick in the first place. Morphine would kill you today, Reno."

"Well, it would get rid of the pain one way or another, at least." Reno flopped back against his pillows. "Dammit! My legs feel like they're about to fall off, and I've had chest taps on two separate occasions today. Plus, I was puking my guts out until about an hour ago. I swear, when I get out of here I'm tracking down whoever developed this thing and breaking all their fingers. Then I'll castrate them with a cheese grater, male or female. Then I'll stick a needle in their asses and pump them full of their own damn witch-juice!"

Sephiroth smirked. "Well, I'll definately be staying on your good side. You're more dangerous than anything I've ever faced in the field when you're pissed off!"

"And don't you forget it, General!" There was a clattering of wheels out in the hall. "Betcha that's Blackspike now."

An orderly edged into the room, guiding a collapsible gurney through the door. Zack was on said gurney, laying motionless with a thick black cloth tied around his head, covering his eyes. Another orderly was on the opposite end of the gurney, and together they lifted the SOLDIER onto his bed. Sephiroth stopped one as they prepared to leave, hooking Zack back up to the life-support machines.

"What is the status of Lieutinant-Major Fair?"

"His seizures were connected to extreme light sensitivity. That has been temporarily remedied, as you can see. We can't risk giving him Valium yet because of a possible reaction with the drug. His heart's been beating arrhythmically, so we've got someone monitoring him. There was also a serious loss of bone in his left arm, but that was restored with materia. He's resting easily now, as you can see."

Indeed, Zack was asleep, judging by the slow, steady rhythm his breathing had fallen into.

The other order had just used a Cure materia on Reno, sending the redhead into a deep sleep as well, so as to mend his body and restore his depleted energy reserve. Both he and Zack would need to sleep, so their bodies could concentrate on flushing the drug out of their systems and healing the damage it had caused as quickly as possible. As the orderlies left, closing the door quietly behind them, Sephiroth moved to the chair beside Zack's bed, where he could see both of them. Seating himself, he folded his hands and pressed the clenched digits to his lips, praying to anybody listening that his friends would survive the liquid scourge coursing through their veins.

That done, Sephiroth prepared himself for a long vigil.

No matter what happened, he would be there to watch over them and help his friends through this. That's what friends were for, after all.

His vigil continued long into the night, with nothing to break the silence save the beep of the heart-rate monitors and the steady, mechanical breathing of the respirators.