Dasha POV
"I honestly don't remember the last time I felt this way. I feel completely numb and broken. I feel like I'm void of any real natural emotion. I feel like I'm not even alive. I'm breathing, my hearts beating but I'm not alive." I frowned at my reflection in the full length mirror standing in the corner of my room. "I'm not alive."
"Dasha." My dad poked his head into my room. An action that had started to annoy me the last couple of days. "Who are you talking to?"
"My reflection." I looked at him and shrugged. "Not the voice dad, relax, I'm just going through the emotions of being heartbroken and royally fucked up from some Asian guys almost raping me and practically seeing my future brother almost die."
"You have a way with words my child." He walked in and sat on the bed. "You know this feeling is temporary right? It won't last forever. I promise you that Dasha. I really do."
"I am not alive." I looked at him. "I feel like my soul has left me."
"I feel like you're being a tad dramatic, you been singing those songs a little too often Dasha." He blinked at me in the mirror.
"I mean, I just don't feel alive. Everything I had to offer is essentially gone." I dropped to my knees. "I mean what else do I have left besides the obvious writing skills. I have no heart left to love with."
"I think you'll come out of this situation a stronger woman. I can actually guarantee that you will Dasha." He smiled. "You haven't given up yet and I fucking doubt you will. If that kidnapping didn't break you a guy can't break you. I know you were in love, still are in love but it's not the end of the world. You can focus on yourself, take this pain, disappointment, and lessons and put them in your book."
"Life definitely found a way to Crash Into Me. It is like a fucking fifty car pile up." I smirked. "I will work it out, that's for sure."
"Just don't give up kid." He stood and kissed the top of my head. "Love you Dasha Nicole."
I laughed. "There you go again with that goddamn Nicole shit again. Herman Melville!"
"So wrong!" He pulled the door shut and I sat back on my ass and continued to look at myself. My hair was fading from blue back to blond and the brown roots were creeping back in. My eyes were dull and tires looking. I had managed to age a decade in a month.
The door opened and Juice stepped in holding a wrapped gift. "I come baring gifts."
"I see that." I smiled and stood up. "What's the occasion?"
"Your birthday is in two days. I wanted to be early." He handed me the blue wrapped box. "So happy birthday and I hope you love it."
I tore through the paper and let it pool at our feet. "Omg! Juice!" I pulled the gorgeous leather journal put of the box and examined it closer. "Did you make this?"
"Yeah." He said coyly. "I didn't see one in the store that would fit you anymore. I even wrote a paragraph in it."
"I love it!" I set it on the bed and hugged him. "I'm going to use it to write my next novel."
"Finished the Crash one?" He smiled and pushed my hair out of my face.
"Almost, just need to add a chapter or two but it's pretty solid, then I'll have it edited and shop it around." I smiled. "I'm in love with this journal. Most thoughtful gift ever."
"I'm happy that you love it." He flipped the journal over. "You're never far away from the reaper."
"Great." I smiled. "It's now with me forever. Sometimes I believe I would have been better off if I stayed in Texas. Malia of course lands the perfect life and I get the fucked up life. Like I wasn't already fucked up already!"
Juice shut me up with a kiss. It was slow at first then became rushed and needy. His hands worked their way through my hair and I moved closer to him. The kiss wasn't anything like the ones I shared with Happy, they were hungry. "Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"No." I rubbed my fingers over my lips. "It's okay. I liked it a lot actually."
"Really? I kind of wanted that since the clubhouse lap dances." He chuckled and rubbed his head.
"Yeah." I nodded. "I don't know if it'll happen again but I wouldn't be opposed to it."
"Good to know. I have to get back to the clubhouse. Happy tore through it like a tornado." He stood up. "I'll see you later pretty girl."
"Yeah, bye Juice." I waved and watched him leave before scotting back on my bed and reading the paragraph Juice had written.
#
"You look like shit." Winsome said as she rubbed face cream on my face. "You been sleeping?"
"Not really." I sighed. "I kissed Juice earlier today."
"Dish!" She stopped rubbing the cream into my face.
"He gave me an early birthday gift. Then I kept talking and he just kissed me to shut me up." I smirked. "It was pretty amazing."
"I knew it!" She laughed. "I knew in my heart that he would be an amazing kisser!"
"Yeah." I nodded. "I thought I'd regret kissing anyone other than Happy but I really don't."
"Why would you?" She blinked at me. "You're a free bitch baby."
"Okay gaga." I rolled my eyes and sat up. "This cream works?"
"Yeah." She smiled. "I have to fess up to sleeping with Jax again."
"Oh my God." I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I can't believe you keep continue to touch that man. He's handsome but he's scum for cheating on Tara time and time again."
"But he's so amazing in bed." She fell back on to my bed. "I mean, amazing."
"I don't wanna hear about it any more Winnie." I laughed. "You and Ima can pass around the Prince."
SOASOASOA
Happy POV
"Ma." I stepped into the kitchen and found her fixing coffee. "How are you today?"
"Good, sit." She pointed to the table. "What's wrong Hap?"
"What's not wrong?" I shook my head and frowned. "I'm going to be a dad."
She dropped her cup into the sink and whipped around to stare at me. "That's great! Dasha keeping the baby even though she was dead set against having kids?"
"It's not Dasha who is pregnant." I rubbed my face. "I slept with this chick when Dasha and I were broken up and now she's pregnant. She doesn't want to get rid of it so I'm stepping up."
"How does Dasha feel about it?" She grabbed my hands and ran her thumbs over my fingers.
"She broke up with me, set my bike on fire. I had to drive here in an actual car." I closed my eyes. "Ma, I don't want to lose that woman, she means so much to me. I just fucked up so bad on this shit that she won't even give me the time of day to try and fix things."
"Give her time! The love of her life is having a baby by a woman that isn't her. Give her the space and time. If it's true love you two will end up together. I promise you that." She patted my head. "Next time think with the damn head on your shoulders and not the one in your pants! I don't remember raising you to be this was Happy! I do want to meet this loose moral young woman, need to know who will be raising my grandchild Hap."
"Alright." I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to let Dasha go though. I'm hurting even more than I was the last time."
"You have no choice in the matter Hap, she's broken things off and now you have to sit back and watch her live her life and discover new things." She handed me a cup of coffee.
"I know, her birthday is in two days and I think I want to give her the necklace back even though she threw it back in my face." I sipped the coffee. "I don't know if she'll accept it or whatever."
"Got to try." She sat back down. "You know I love you son but I swear you lose all commonsense when you drink or try to run from your feelings. See the wreckage you've caused? You may have to work years to clean it all up."
"I'm willing to work at it." I nodded. "I can't just give up on her. Love her too much for that shit."
#
"Dasha." I knocked on her bedroom window which once again wasn't locked or closed and she stared at me.
"What?" She hissed. "What do you want Hap? Go to the front door not the window Jesus."
I closed her window and walked around to the front and she was standing there waiting for me. "I didn't think you would even talk to me."
"I mean, I am having mood swings and I happen to be tolerant of you and your bullshit." She slammed the door behind us. "So why are you even here?"
"It's your birthday." I handed her the box. "I know you tossed it at me but I want you to fucking keep it. I bought it for you, do whatever with it, sell it if you have to Dasha, just fucking keep it. Alright?"
"Fine." She set the box on her bookshelf and crossed her arms. "Sorry I set your bike on fire. I mean, I'm not actually sorry but I want to apologize anyways."
"You should be sorry, I'm driving around in a fucking cage." I glared at down at her. Fighting every urge to pull her into a hug and kiss her.
"Well you should be having a kid with another woman and your precious little Dyna wouldn't be extra crispy!" She yelled and shoved me backwards.
There it was, her mood swings she always had back in Tacoma. "Don't touch me Dasha."
She shoved me again. "Oh, fuck you Happy! I hope Lyla makes the next 18 years of your life fucking miserable!"
"Calm the fuck down." I grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "You're going to send your ass into the hospital little girl."
"Don't call me that. You have know right to call me that anymore. Just leave please." She side stepped around me and opened the door. "Now!"
"Alright." I held up my hands and walked out of the door. I paused as she slammed it and locked it.
SOASOASOA
Malia POV
"Oh shit." I looked at the clock and it flashed 9 PM. "I fucking forgot about Dasha's birthday! I didn't even get her anything."
"That's fucked up." Juice looked at me from the poker table. "I gave her a present two days ago."
"Call her." Esai smiled. "Tell her you'll see her tomorrow and that the baby made you sleep all damn day."
"Good." I pulled out my phone and it rang before connecting.
"Yeah?" Dasha's voice filled the room.
"Happy Birthday!" I yelled.
"Thanks. Where's my cake and presents Malia?" She sounded cold and bitter. "I don't see you even in Charming."
"I slept all day, I'll be by tomorrow Dasha. I promise." I chewed on my bottom lip.
"Whatever. I really don't give a fuck if you stop by or not Malia." She blew into the phone. "We done with this call?"
"What's wrong with you?" I barked into the phone. "I'm trying to wish you a happy birthday Dasha and you're pissed off at me!"
"Yeah because my dumbass sister couldn't be bothered to simply send fucking text when she woke up but instead can post to IG!" She yelled. "Go fuck yourself Malia! I'm done with your shit!"
The call ended and I sat there looking at Esai and Juice who's mouths were hanging open. "Someone is mood swinging hard today."
#
"Dad!" I yelled as I set the cake on the counter.
"He's not here." Dasha stared at me from the sofa. "What are you even doing here?"
"I brought you cake and a present." I lifted the cake. "It's vanilla with real icing not that whipped shit."
"Whatever." She shrugged. "My birthday is over you missed it. Even Happy remembered it then I got angry and sent him away."
"I'm sorry." I grabbed two forks and sat down next to her and opened the cake. "It really got away from me. I usually am very good with remembering."
"Yeah." She ate a bite of cake. "I forgive you. I've been having angry bouts like crazy."
"I can tell. You talking to anyone about it?" I scraped frosting onto my spoon.
"Yeah I upped my appointments to twice a week." She shrugged. "I just don't want to go back into the hospital."
"I get it." I nodded. "I don't want you back there either."
"This cake, it's pretty good." Dasha dropped the spoon into the box. "I don't know where you got it, but if I ever get hitched, I'm definitely having this cake at my wedding."
I laughed. "Esai's mom made it. She owns a bakery, has the best fucking cupcakes I've ever tasted. The chocolate ones, I can't get enough of them. I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or not, but I fucking love them.I can literally put away a dozen of them myself."
Her mouth hung open in shock. "No wonder why you're so fucking huge! You've been shoving cupcakes in your mouth. I wish you would have thought to bring me some cupcakes too. Lord knows I can stand to put on some weight. One day, I'll have womanly curves, not just hips and ass."
"Oh shut your mouth." I rolled my eyes. "You're fucking perfect Dasha, in every way. Well..."
"Yeah, I know. I have a fucked up brain. When you having this kid anyways. You're expanded to capacity." She rubbed my stomach.
"Two months and I'll be bringing home little Esai. I can't wait to see who he takes after. I want him to be a chunky Esai." I rubbed my stomach along with her. "I just cannot wait to be a mom. I think I'll do an amazing job at it. Don't you agree?"
"Yes! I agree way better than mom ever did. I cannot wait to watch you mother." She hugged my. "I'm so sorry about being an emotional wreck. My mood swings are coming and going like never before. I'm trying to rein them in though."
"It's fine." I kissed her nose. "Everything will balance itself back out. You just need a mini reset. Something good to put shit back into perspective for you."
"Yeah." She sighed.
I smiled at her, I knew it was only a matter of time before something came up for her. She always had a way of coming out on top regardless of the shitty situations she found herself in. This shit with Happy had to be one of the worsts though but whatever came from it, was bound to be phenomenal for Dasha.
I know you guys really are rooting for a happy ending for Dasha, but you have to understand the emotional toll the whole Happy situation takes on her mental stability. It may seem like she walks the line of being in and out of their relationship but you have to remember she's fragile. Any little upset in her minds balance tends to put her over the edge.
