A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie and Betsy. As always, it's meant in fun.
The Mizard Of Odd
Chapter 45: Miz Makes A Decision
The faded sign outside said, "The Chuckwagon." By the time Miz got to the porch, the others were inside. Matt was chatting up the waitress, smiling and laughing. The sight made Miz feel even more annoyed than he had been in the car. Luckily, though, he was no longer feeling violent. The restaurant itself had that truck stop feel, a transient place where no one stayed for long. Miz followed the others and took a seat at the table, frowning at the menu. When the waitress walked away, he looked up and studied the others.
"What was that?" Punk asked, across from him.
"Sorry," Miz said. "I don't know what came over me."
"Hey," Matt said, looking around the table. "You guys realize we're not too far from my house, right?"
"We aren't?" Miz said, his eyes on the menu again. "That's nice. How's the steak here? Any good?"
Matt frowned. "I haven't been home in two months," he said. "And we're like twenty miles away."
"Okay," Miz said. "Maybe I should have something other than the steak. What do you think, Punk?"
"I think Matt wants to go home," Punk said.
Miz sighed, looking up at Matt finally. "Yeah, I got that, too. But the thing is, we've got somewhere to be."
"Not until Tuesday," Matt said. "Come on, wouldn't it be nice to sleep in a bed again?"
"Sure," Miz said, "but don't you think they'll be watching our houses?"
"That seems kind of paranoid," Matt said.
Miz laughed. "I saw their damned robot and rather than sit me down and say, 'Hey, Miz, you caught us. Can you keep a secret?' they sedated me and shipped me off to live in crazyland, and you think I'm paranoid?"
"Well, you do have a big mouth," Punk said, causing Miz to glare at him.
"Do you think it's a good idea?" Miz asked Punk.
"What could it hurt?" Punk said.
"What if evil Matt's there?" Miz asked.
"Matthew?" Punk said. "Do you think he's escaped from Matt's head?"
Miz turned to Randy. "Hey, Orton," he said, "remember how you asked me if you could bite someone?"
"Yes?" Randy said.
"Well, you can, so long as it's Punk."
"All right!" Randy said, rubbing his hands together and smirking at Punk.
"Hey!" Punk protested. "Not cool!"
"Maybe not," Miz said, "but you brought it on yourself."
"I don't think I did," Punk said. "It was a valid question. How could evil Matt be anywhere but in Matt's head?"
"I mean robot Matt," Miz said.
"Well, you didn't clarify that," Punk said, sitting back and pulling his menu open. "Try the steak," he said after a moment.
"You think?" Miz asked.
Punk shrugged. "Why not? Especially if we're staying overnight at Matt's."
Matt perked up. "We are?" he asked.
Miz sighed. "I'm not going to regret it if I say yes, am I?"
"No, absolutely not," Matt said, grinning ear to ear. "I'll make sure you have a room to yourself tonight."
Fine," Miz agreed. "Then we'll stay at Matt's tonight."
"Yes!" Matt said.
"But after we have lunch," Miz said with a sigh. "Anyone seen the waitress?"
"Right here," said their waitress, popping up behind Miz, making him clutch his chest in fear. "Were you ready to order?"
"I am," Punk said.
Miz glared at the waitress. "I think you just scared five years off my life."
"Sorry," she said.
Mark said, "I'm an LOLcat! I can has cheeseburger?"
The waitress grinned at him. "Om nom nom?" she said, making Mark beam back at her.
"Yesplease!" he said.
Miz watched this exchange, brow furrowed in confusion. "Is it just me," he said to Punk, "or did things take another left turn at crazy?"
"No more lefts," Randy said. "They never lead to freeways."
Punk smirked. "Surely you've seen the LOLcats? I don't spend much time online and even I've seen the damned things."
"And for you?" the waitress said, turning to Miz.
"I'd like a dose of sanity, please. Oh, and the steak, well done."
"I'll get the steak," she said, "but the sanity may be harder to find. Sure you want me to look for it?"
"I like her," Matt said to Miz. "She's funny."
"Well, don't ask if we can keep her," Miz grumbled. "The car's crowded as it is."
"But she's funny," Matt said, "and way more interesting than you guys."
"You seem to be in a very good mood today, Mr. Hardy," said the waitress. "It's nice to see that. The last time you were in, you seemed pretty unhappy to me."
Matt frowned. "When was that?"
She glanced up at the ceiling. "About a week ago. You met your brother here, and then the two of you got into an argument about something. He paid the bill and tipped me, then left. I came over to see if you wanted anything else, more coffee or something, but you were staring into space and it took me a good five minutes to get your attention, and then you said, 'No thanks,' and you left. You don't remember that?"
"Sorry," Matt said, shaking his head, "I've had a lot on my mind lately." He waited until she'd taken the rest of the orders and left the table before turning to Miz and Punk. "What do you make of that?"
"Of what?" Miz asked.
"What Carrie said."
"Who's Carrie?" Miz asked.
"Our waitress!" Matt said.
"Oh. That thing about you and Jeff fighting?"
Matt nodded. "Yeah. Weird, right?"
"It just shows that your evil twin has been through this place," Miz said, "and we ought to be careful."
Matt sighed. "I wonder what he and Jeff were arguing about?"
"Maybe you ought to ask chatty Carrie," Miz said. "She seems to know everything else about you."
