A/N: Thank you so much for your continued support- your reviews are so lovely and keep me writing x
Chapter 54
"Right then, we must get up and get ready," the Housekeeper said, as she gave her husband one last brief kiss on the lips, before leaning away from him and making to get out of her side of the bed.
It was dark outside and Charlie slept soundly in his bedroom across the hallway from his parents.
Charles groaned at the loss of contact, reaching out to pull Elsie back to him.
"Charles!" she gasped, although he noted happily that she gave up her fight very quickly.
He flipped her onto her back, leaning over his wife and beginning to kiss a path from her lips to her neck. He paused at her collarbone, sucking and kissing his wife's sweet skin as she murmured happily.
"Ummm Charles, we really do have to get up," she breathed, grasping the back of his head to pull him even closer to her. Her hands raked through his rumpled hair.
"Not just yet love, not just yet," he breathed, as his mouth trailed a little lower and his wife sighed blissfully.
######
The Butler had already headed to the Abbey, wanting to get a head start on a very busy day. His wife still worried about how hard he was working but she was pleased that he had made an effort to have some further time with his family. As well as some time for just the two of us, she thought contentedly, her cheeks tinging pink as she remembered their loving activities earlier that morning.
She shook her head and bit her lip. Now, is not the time to be thinking of that Elsie Carson, she chided herself. She was broken from her reverie by the sweet voice of her son.
"Ma, what do I do next?" Charlie asked.
"Ummm, right then sweetheart, now very carefully keep stirring the eggs with the spoon," the Housekeeper instructed Charlie gently.
He was currently standing on a little wooden stool so that he could reach the pan of scrambled eggs. His Ma held the pan securely so there was no danger of the pan falling off the stove, and with her free hand, she also held her son around the waist to ensure he didn't fall.
"That's it, look," she smiled, nodding towards the pan.
Charlie gasped as the eggs began to resemble the scrambled eggs his Ma usually made him.
"I did it!" he cheered.
"You most certainly did my little monkey," she replied happily, kissing his cheek.
"Wait until I tell Pa!" he exclaimed.
The Housekeeper gazed lovingly at Charlie.
"Your Pa will be so proud love," she added, as her son beamed with pride.
######
The Butler sat on the edge of his desk in his pantry, forcing himself to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He couldn't shake this niggling pain in his chest and the worry that this pain might be something serious, only served to cause him even more angst. He had hoped the pain would disappear and he certainly hadn't felt it for a couple of days. However, it was now back with a vengeance as he squeezed his eyes shut, wincing with pain.
"Charles, the wine delivery has … Charles what's wrong?" his wife panicked, as she entered the room and saw her husband looking pained.
He shot up to stand before her, forcing a huge smile onto his face.
"Nothing love, nothing at all," he tried, not wanting to worry her.
He knew his wife already thought he'd been working too hard of late. The extra work and worry caused by His Lordship's illness, as well as the plans to open the House to the public and the cutting back on staff numbers, had taken their toll. He'd been working very long hours at the House. He'd also noticed his right hand shaking more and more of late, particularly when he was tired, and he was terrified that he was going to be struck down by the same condition suffered by his father and grandfather before him. All the while, set against these worries, he had the most perfect life with his wife and son. He had never felt such personal joy but the happiness that he felt at home, only made these other worries feel worse. He wanted to be around for a long, long time to look after Elsie and Charlie, to be the husband and father they deserved, and him feeling out of sorts made him absolutely terrified that, if this was something serious, he wouldn't be able to be there for them.
"Charles Carson, tell me the truth," she demanded, as she took one of his big hands in hers and looked up at him anxiously.
"Honestly love, I'm fine. Just a little tired, that is all," he said, hoping to convince her.
"Charles, I am your wife, please tell me what's wrong," she said seriously, never losing eye contact with him.
He gulped, he did not want to lie to Elsie but he hoped in this case it was justified, to spare her any worry.
"Elsie, as you've already told me, I've been overdoing it a bit lately. I need to slow down a bit and then I'm sure I'll be fine. I really am just tired," he smiled reassuringly.
She continued to gaze at him, not convinced at all. He knew he needed to offer her more.
"I was actually thinking, why don't I take the evening off? I could collect Charlie from school later, maybe take him to the Lake and then take him home for the evening. I haven't spent as much time as I'd like with him lately and it will be good for us to spend some time together," he said, hoping that taking the evening off would reassure his wife.
"I'm sure Charlie would love that but Charles, if you are not well, we should visit Dr Clarkson," she added, feeling unsettled.
"Elsie, I promise it's just tiredness. A bit more time away from the House will work wonders. Do you think you could come home a little earlier this evening too? The three of us can curl up in front of the fire and listen to some of that jazz music you like," he said, hoping a little humour would ease the tension.
The Housekeeper couldn't help but smile at that; although she knew there was something her husband wasn't telling her. She'd always had good instinct when it came to people's emotions and she could read her husband like a book.
"You do know that you can tell me anything Charles?" she added, hoping that he might confess what was really on his mind.
"Of course I do Elsie, and there's no one else in the world I'd confide in more than you but I am fine love, really," he smiled, as he stepped forward to wrap her in his arms.
She breathed deeply, cossetted against the warmth of his chest. She knew there was something more but she also knew that she would need to give him a little more time to tell her.
######
The Butler and Charlie were walking hand in hand through the Village Green, on their way to the lake to feed the ducks. Charlie had been delighted to see his Pa waiting at the school gates for him; it was an unexpected treat.
"Pa, Jimmy at school says that boys shouldn't kiss and cuddle their Mas and Pas. He said that only girls do that!" Charlie said worriedly, hoping that this wasn't true.
The Butler looked down at his loving son, smiling tenderly at him.
"Come on, let's have a seat for moment," the Butler said, pointing to the bench at the side of the Green.
Charles lifted his son high in the air and then deposited him on the seat beside him with a flourish. Charlie giggled at this, before looking earnestly at his Pa once again. The Butler wrapped a reassuring arm around him.
"You see Charlie, some boys and men aren't as affectionate as others and so they might shy away from giving their sons or parents a cuddle," he began softly.
"What does affect … aff .." he tried but couldn't remember the word.
"Affectionate. It means when you show someone how much you care for them by giving them a hug, or a kiss, or perhaps holding their hand," the Butler explained kindly.
Charlie nodded understandingly.
"But that doesn't mean its wrong to show affection. Some men find it difficult, that's all. Men like you and I are happy to show how much we care for those we love," he continued, as Charlie nodded again, a relieved smile appearing on his little face.
"Like when I cuddle Ma at the school gates, that's alright?" he asked, just to be sure. He loved to cuddle his Ma.
"Of course it is," the Butler grinned.
"And it doesn't make me a girl?" he asked, needing to clarify a little more.
The Butler bellowed with laughter, with Charlie giggling at his Pa's loud guffaw.
"No, it certainly doesn't make you a girl. It makes you a loving son," the Butler added.
"I knew Jimmy must be wrong, you aren't a girl and you always cuddle Ma and me," Charlie added happily.
Mr Carson lowered his head to kiss Charlie's hair, reinforcing his point further.
"Yes, I do," the Butler smiled.
"Do you cuddle Aunt Beryl and Mr Barrow?" Charlie asked, genuinely interested.
His Pa spluttered at that and started to cough.
"No, I don't son, I only kiss and cuddle the two people I love most of all, you and your Ma," he replied.
Charlie smiled, thinking about this for a second.
"Well I love Aunt Beryl and Mr Barrow and so it must be alright for me to cuddle them?" he said more confidently.
The Butler smiled adoringly at his son, knowing how fond he was of his Aunt and the Under-Butler, despite finding it difficult to understand his son's devotion to the latter.
"Quite right son, quite right," he replied simply.
######
"My goodness Charlie, I can barely keep up with you. You are getting so fast!" the Butler panted, quite out of breath, as they reached the top of the hill near their cottage.
"I am faster than some of the older boys now," Charlie declared proudly.
"I am sure you are but let's walk the rest of the way, hum?" the Butler breathed, ruffling his son's hair.
Charlie smiled mischievously at his Pa, before starting to run again; the young boy had boundless energy.
"See if you can catch me Pa!" he cheered, as he sped away.
The Butler shook his head fondly at his son, happy to play this game to amuse him. He began to increase his stride again, however after a couple of steps he clutched his chest, feeling that piercing pain again. It was worse than ever, as he let out a loud wail before falling to his knees.
Charlie heard his father's voice and turned to him, a breathless smile on his face, as he thought the shout was part of their game. The young boy then spotted his father on the ground.
"Pa!" he screamed in terror.
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