AN: Sorry it took so long to post. It's father's day, so...yes...

Thanks for the reviews you guys!

And I haven't heard from Greg all week, I'm a little worried...


LII.

Since ambushing and annihilating the enemy units tailing them, the 2nd Mass had been able to move at an easier pace. They weren't safe yet, as some of the senior fighters had taken to saying – which prompted Ben to muse whenever would they be safe – but at least they had a chance to breath. Discussion around camp centered on where they would go to seek refuge, though many were of Ben's mindset that refuge didn't exist so why bother, and others whispered about Tom Mason's miraculous return.

But thankfully, or not so much, Ben now had other things to occupy his mind. After a week and three days of nothing, he had Jimmy for one blissful yet woefully short hour, give or take, and then he opened his mouth, let those three forbidden words tumble out, and he was back to nothing. He couldn't get within visual range without Jimmy bolting. He was starting to think a simple rejection would've been easier. A nice, "Thank you but I don't feel the same", and then they could've swept it aside as though it had never happened, and just continued on from where they were.

Right, who was Ben kidding? If past experience had taught him nothing else, there was no moving past those kinds of confessions. At least this time, he'd kind of thought, hoped, believed that things would be different. He didn't expect Jimmy to say it back, of course not, that would be ridiculous, far outside of the other boy's character.

Okay, maybe part of Ben had imagined a sliver of possibility that Jimmy might say it in return, and yes, he'd even let himself foolishly fantasize that they'd exchange those words in a tender moment, orchestral music swelling in the background of his mind, and then they'd make passionate love all night.

Daydreams aside, at the very least, Ben had expected Jimmy to express some sentiment of acceptance, maybe some sign that he was happy Ben had said it. Anything but that blank stare and then bitter nothing.

Maybe, Ben decided, he ought to resign himself to the possibility no one would ever want his love or love him in return.

Ben sighed, crossing camp towards where he'd left Matt cleaning a few of his rifles, watching warily as Jimmy ducked hastily out of sight into one of the artillery trucks. Even from the distance Ben could see a bit of color tinged those pale cheeks.

Oh hell, Ben didn't care if Jimmy wanted his love or loved him back, all he needed to be happy for the rest of his life was for Jimmy to stop running from him.

"I'm almost finished putting this one back together. I did it all by myself, too," Matt declared proudly and Ben smiled down at the younger boy, absently ruffling his hair.

"Dr. Glass come by with any info on dad?"

"No," Matt mumbled, setting the completed rifle aside and tilting his head back to peer up at his older brother, "Hal talked to her last night. I guess she said dad is still sleeping from all the medicine she had to give him."

"Right," Ben said, picking his rifle up and inspecting it, he asked, "You want to go do something?"

"Really?" Matt replied, skeptical, picking at pieces of lint on his pant leg, "Shouldn't you be hanging out with Jimmy?"

"Are you saying you don't want to hang out with me?" Ben scoffed, mock hurt.

"Did you and Jimmy get in a fight?" Matt asked.

Ben rolled his eyes, "No…"

"Then…why does he disappear every time you come around?"

"He's busy with other things, Matt. He's got responsibilities around camp, you know, he can't spend all his time with me," Ben insisted.

"Okay. So…you're not fighting…you just did something really stupid and now he's mad at you?" Matt determined.

"I'm going to go test out these guns, make sure you assembled them correctly, if you shut up about Jimmy and want to come with me then maybe I'll let you fire off a few rounds," Ben hissed.

"Really?" Matt's eyes widened, a grin spreading across his face, "But Hal said…"

"Hal's not here, is he?" Ben replied cheekily, smirking, "Come on, Matt, I think it's time you learned to shoot a gun."

"Hal is going to be so mad," Matt exclaimed, hopping on his feet, and scrambling after Ben.

They set up a few yards away from camp, lining up tin cans along a cement wall. Ben gave Matt a few instructions, then stood back and watched attentively as his younger brother attempted to knock one of the cans down. Ben expected Matt to flinch, at least with the first shots, but the younger boy stood stoically and even managed to graze one of the tins.

"That's really good," Ben praised, coming over to ruffle Matt's hair, "We'll make a sniper out of you, yet."

"You think I can be a sniper?" Matt's face lit with the compliment.

"Maybe. One day," Ben answered delicately.

"Then I could go out on the battlefield with you and Hal and dad…maybe after we get to the new location," Matt determined, lining up his sight again and firing off a few more rounds without a single hit.

"Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren't we?" Ben chuckled, readjusting Matt's position, "Focus on knocking a can down first, then maybe we'll talk about when you can dream of the battlefield."

With Ben's hands on his shoulders, guiding his aim, Matt managed to knock a couple tins down. He grinned, giving a whoop of excitement as though he'd managed all his own. Ben pat Matt's head, smiling despite himself. Admittedly, he did miss spending time with his younger brother and it was nice to be away from camp. It felt vaguely like old times.

"Hey, Ben," Hal's voice boomed with pent-up agitation from behind the two youngest Mason brothers.

Ben scowled, yup, like old times. He turned around to face his advancing older brother.

"What the hell is he doing with a gun?" Hal demanded jerking his head Matt's direction. Matt lowered the rifle, fidgeting from foot to foot nervously as he eyed his older brothers.

Ben shrugged and replied, "I figured it was finally time to teach him."

"That wasn't your call to make," Hal growled, "I said that…"

"But it was yours?" Ben interjected sharply, folding his arms across his chest, "He wanted to learn and not teaching him isn't somehow going to miraculously keep him out of the Skitters reach."

"But putting him on the frontline is going to keep him safe?" Hal challenged.

"No. But if the fighters around him fall, I'd rather he know what to do with the gun he pulls off one of them than sit in the corner cowering and waiting for the Skitters to drag him off," Ben replied.

"That's not going to happen."

"Why? Because you say so, and your word is suddenly universal law? You're not dad, Hal, you never were, and now that he's back you can stop acting like it. You don't get to make decisions about what's best for me and Matt…"

"Dad didn't want him to learn and just because I happen to agree doesn't mean I'm not enforcing his wishes," Hal cut in petulantly, "And he won't get taken because I won't let it happen."

"It's already happened, Hal," Ben spat, pushing past the older boy and stalking away. He needed to put distance between himself and his brother, he could feel a white heat prickling across his vision and threatening to rip Hal's throat away.

"You little creep," Hal cried, reaching out to grab hold of Ben's arm and halt his retreat, "How the hell are you going to throw that in my face after everything…"

Hal fell to his knees, Ben's hand at his neck driving him to the ground. Matt stood off to the side, backing away a few steps, eyes wide and trembling, a small startled gasp escaped his lips. Maybe it was that soft sound or maybe it was Hal's muscles suddenly lax beneath Ben's grip that shocked Ben back to reality. He stumbled hard into the moment, yet still couldn't loosen his fingers wrapped round his brother's throat.

"You mean, after everything I went through? I think I know better than anyone what's best for Matt. I'd rather he died in battle than ever be taken by the Skitters and go through the same things I did," Ben hissed, releasing Hal with a hard shove back and striding purposefully away. He could hear Hal coughing and gulping down air and a terrible smile flitted momentarily across his lip, his whole life he'd been the weaker brother, before he remembered himself and a sick dark feeling settled in his gut.

This is getting out of hand…

Ben knew it was getting out of hand long before Jimmy ever pointed it out, and it was getting dangerously evident that he could and would kill someone if something wasn't done soon. Losing control was one thing, but now he was losing himself. An ache in his heart told him he needed Jimmy right then, but the other boy wouldn't come near him, and somehow that one condemning action made everything worse, as though stripping away another piece of his humanity.

A burst of energy brought on by the anger and frustration blossomed through Ben's chest and rushed into his limbs, and he darted swiftly from camp, a sudden need to hunt so powerfully overwhelming that nothing else mattered. Not his brothers, his father, the 2nd Mass, air to breath and food to eat, and especially not Jimmy's answer or lack thereof to his earlier proclamations.

From the start, Jimmy made it abundantly clear he had no clue what he was doing. He said it often enough those days, and his accusations towards Ben rang horribly in Ben's ears.

…you always knew exactly what you were doing from the start.

It was true. Ben always knew his feelings for Jimmy and exactly what he wanted from the other boy. Maybe that was the problem. It wasn't that Jimmy didn't know what he wanted; it was that Jimmy didn't want the same things. And who could blame Jimmy? No one, not even Ben, not after what Ben had done to his brother, and his father, and reluctant his lover, Jimmy.

Jimmy placed the last of the rifles he'd spent all afternoon cleaning in the rack of the artillery truck. He peeked his head out the trailer, scanned the area outside briefly then hopped out and wandered around several vehicles towards Anthony's voice. From the sounds of things, Anthony was with the Berserkers. They were talking about the returned Professor Mason, which was a nice change, Jimmy supposed, from their usual conversations about Ben and the other unharnessed teens.

A pang of guilt ached through Jimmy's chest. There were worse crimes that he had committed, he knew, but somehow avoiding Ben felt like the dirtiest, lowest, most unforgiveable of sins. But what did Ben honestly expect after saying those words?

Ben's father had returned now, the Mason family, or what was left of it anyway, reunited at long last. They'd pull together, because that's what families did. Professor Mason would take control of his sons once more, they'd eat meals together, spend their spare time together, support one another, share the tent again so that Ben wouldn't be alone as the freak, half-alien outcast of the 2nd Mass. Professor Mason would be there to remind Ben that he was loved and wanted, to hold Ben up against the raging storm of fear and doubt rising from the civilians, to stand beside him when no one else would.

And where did that leave Jimmy?

Fuck, who knew. Maybe Ben had some pretty ideas in his head that he'd tell his father what he and Jimmy had been up to in those past few months and the good professor would welcome Jimmy with open arms and happily bring him into the fold. Jimmy would be the fourth son of the Mason family. He'd eat meals with them, spend his spare time with them, they'd give him support, and bring him into their tent, and they'd be one big, stupid, happy fucking family.

Or nothing would change. Professor Mason would take the information and sweep it aside as though a gnat flitting about his face in the hot open forest. No more than a minor, momentary discomfort. Jimmy would remain the orphan of the 2nd Mass, even less a part of the group than Ben because he had nothing, no family to anchor him there. They were both swimming for the same distant shore but only one of them had a life-vest. Time would be the final deciding factor. Things would dwindle, fade away, and die. Good riddance, fancy dreams of a better tomorrow. Jimmy could see it flash before his eyes, that vision of a future in a world where no aliens existed, a college romance, a road-trip to Disneyland, a stopover in a seedy motel, there it was and then gone, whisked away by reality.

Again, Ben's words played through Jimmy's mind. They'd been on endless loop since falling so carelessly off Ben's lips. Jimmy set his jaw and grit his teeth. No, it wasn't for him. None of it was for him. Those kinds of words were meant for people with futures. All Jimmy had to look forward to was a bullet in the head and a cold grave if he was lucky.

"Did you have anything else for me to do?" Jimmy asked as soon as he was near enough to Anthony. Anthony and the others around him paused in their conversation, all eyes turned on Jimmy, considering him as he fidgeted nervously and dropped his gaze.

"You could do me a solid and take a break," Anthony suggested and Jimmy scowled.

"I'm fine."

"Everyone else has taken a breather since we shook those Skitters," Anthony pointed out, "There's no bonus in this job. You work too hard, you'll get yourself killed in battle making a mistake out of exhaustion."

"I said I'm fine," Jimmy folded his arms over his chest and glared at the ground, "I like to keep busy is all."

"Really? Where I'm standing it looks like you broke up with your boyfriend," Pope commented. Jimmy rolled his eyes up to meet the older man's expression, a flash of mortification crossed their blue depths.

"Fuck you," he spat out in a low voice before he could stop himself. He braced for impact. Pope locked eyes with him, a darkness touching the edge of the older man's features. A tense hush fell over the group. Jimmy nibbled his inner cheek but stood his ground.

Then suddenly the surrounding adults burst into laughter and Anthony sighed, shaking his head at the lot.

"I think you touched a nerve," Crazy Lee chuckled.

"Sounds like nail on the head to me," Boon added, grinning maniacally.

"If you don't have anything for me, I guess I'll go find Dai," Jimmy hastily excused himself, stalking angrily from the group.

Every member of the 2nd Mass undoubtedly took notice of Jimmy keeping his distance from Ben. Jimmy passed a group of civilians sitting in a group working on patching clothing. They paused to watch him walk by, whispering amongst each other. Self-consciously, Jimmy hurried his pace. He wondered how many were sharing Pope's observation. Then the thought crossed into his mind, if Ben wondered that same thing. Had they broken up after all?

Jimmy sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, then stumbled back in surprise, gagging, when a hard force grabbed him by the collar and yanked him back. He spun round, tirade on his tongue, only for his mouth to slam shut when he faced the young man that had manhandled him into the full stop.

"Hal?" Jimmy choked out, rubbing his neck in agitation.

Once, not too long ago, Jimmy used to spend a good chunk of his time with Hal, treated almost as if a replacement little brother to the older boy, back before Ben had been found and rescued. But since Ben had been brought back to camp, that had changed, Jimmy faded into the background and stayed there, even despite the development of his strange relationship with Ben. Lately, Hal treated Jimmy as an accessory or extension of Ben, which meant if he were roughly dragging Jimmy into a conversation then it most likely had something to do with Ben.

"What happened?" Jimmy asked, fear instantly gripping him. A thousand scenarios rushed into his head: a flock of aliens had found them and Ben was hurt fighting them off, Ben ran away because he couldn't handle his own confession to Jimmy and the subsequent piss-poor excuse for a response or his father's state had taken a turn for the worse and he blamed himself, or the signal had finally wormed into Ben's brain and taken over completely, he went on a killing spree and had to be put down like a dog gone mad, or he left camp, following the signal like a child to the pied piper, disappeared same as Rick and Kelsey, one by one the unharnessed kids lining up like cows on a slaughterhouse assembly line.

"What the hell is up with Ben?" Hal demanded, hands on hips and brow drawn tightly together.

"I…don't know," Jimmy stammered, taken aback. He'd expected the conversation to be about Ben, but he'd been braced for bad news, not complaint. Honestly, though, he should've known better.

"Really? You really expect me to believe that you don't know what he was up to today?" Hal growled.

Jimmy opened his mouth and closed it without making a sound, blinked once. Okay, maybe not everyone had noticed the distance he'd been keeping from Ben those past few days.

"I haven't seen him. I've been busy around camp," Jimmy explained, and it wasn't a complete lie.

"Fine. Then maybe you could just explain to me what the hell has been up with him these past several weeks," Hal growled, "I know the harness changed him, and okay, that's fair, any amount of time spent under alien mind control is going to screw you up, sure, but he's been acting less and less like my little brother every day."

"What exactly did he do?" Jimmy carefully questioned. He knew from Ben that Hal had been on the receiving end of Ben's uncontrolled violent outbursts and memory losses, but how many times it had happened and how much Hal knew about it was a mystery.

"I thought we were in agreement," Hal ranted, "That we were on the same page with this one thing, at least. But he turns around, goes behind my back, does whatever the fuck he wants, and then when I confront him about it, I'm the one that's trying to boss everyone around, pretending to be dad, he says. What the hell is that? But so what if I am? I'm the older brother, god damn it. I have to be responsible for them, protect them, you know? I'm the one that dad's going to come down on if anything happens to one of them."

"Right," Jimmy murmured, shifting uncomfortably.

"He's unbelievable sometimes, you know?" Hal continued, pacing away a few steps and shaking his head angrily at the ground, "He's always been difficult but…but I don't know what to do about his anger issues."

"Anger issues?" Jimmy prompted.

"It feels like he's ready to snap at any moment. It gets to the point where I can't even push a little on a disagreement with him before he's got me round the neck ready to start swinging," Hal clarified.

Jimmy frowned, absently rubbing a hand over the forearm that Ben had grabbed him by weeks past.

"Not to mention, one comment he doesn't like and he's jumping down my throat. He never used to start fights before, hell, he avoided them if he could. He was mostly a quiet kid. He whined a lot, but that was it. This isn't like him," Hal finished, glaring at Jimmy expectantly.

"He's been through a lot," Jimmy said.

"Yeah, he mentioned it," Hal grumbled.

"You can't expect him to have gone through what he did and still be the same person," Jimmy continued, as a nagging voice in the back of his head that sounded vaguely like Roman pointed out that he was covering for Ben, again, making excuses for the other boy, "From the sounds of things, he grew a backbone. Did you really want him to keep being a quiet, whiny little kid in this world?"

"I…well…" Hal gaped.

"And hell, Hal, of course he's angry. He's surrounded by a couple hundred people who decided they hated him before ever meeting him, but they still want him to go out there, risk himself to save their lives. He slips up just a little, or even if something out of his control happens, and they're calling for his head. He didn't mean to shoot his dad, fuck, anyone would've taken that shot and hit your dad in that situation, but everyone's talking about it like it's some kind of proof that he's a traitor still working for the aliens," Jimmy raged, "Shit, Hal, maybe you could back the fuck off him for a minute, give him space, instead of breathing down his neck all the time like the rest of the assholes in this unit. Maybe that's what you could do about his anger issues."

They fell silent. Jimmy trembled somewhat from his rush of emotion, and his fear of the aftermath, while Hal seemed to be processing Jimmy's words.

"I don't know why I thought talking to you would get me anywhere," Hal finally muttered,"You'll take his side no matter what."

"That's not true," Jimmy began protest. He faltered, dropping his eyes and frowning at the ground.

"Okay, then tell me honestly, you really think Ben's right about teaching Matt to shoot?" Hal demanded.

Jimmy darted his eyes up to briefly meet the older boy's in stun, before dropping them once more. He'd talked to Ben on occasion about taking Matt to the gun range, but Ben always rejected the idea for some reason or another. It had occurred to Jimmy that the older brothers were dead set against their youngest learning to fight and joining the fray, which made sense. The kid was only nine, and Professor Mason hadn't wanted Ben learning to fight, Matt was out of the question. Jimmy didn't want to fathom what prompted Ben to change his mind; overprotective and overbearing Ben, who was against even Jimmy, the more experienced fighter of the two, being on the battlefield.

"I…don't think you'll believe my honest answer," Jimmy stammered.

"You would stand with Ben on this? He's nine years old, Jimmy," Hal cried, "He has no business holding a gun. It's bad enough that you have one…"

"Hey, I do okay with that gun out there," Jimmy retorted sharply, "And you know, seriously, it's about damn time that someone taught that kid to shoot. Hell, every kid in the 2nd Mass ought to be taught…"

"He's my kid brother; I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand…" Hal grumbled.

"I understand," Jimmy argued, "You want to protect him, shield him from the bad things. You don't want him to have to know how horrible the world's gotten, to have to shovel through the shit that you do. I mean, I know you know that one day he's going to have to deal with it, and you just want to prolong the inevitable as long as you possibly can, keep him a kid awhile longer, but you know, innocence'll get you killed these days. And, honestly, believe me or not, if Matt were my younger sibling, I would have taught her how to shoot."

Hal wrinkled his brow, "Her?"

"What?" Jimmy flustered.

"You said her," Hal noted, perking a brow, and looking at Jimmy strangely, as though suddenly seeing him for the first time.

"No I didn't," Jimmy took a step back and shook his head, "It doesn't matter. This is pointless. I swear to God, you're worse than Ben. I mean what the fuck is with you Masons, huh? It's like I might as well not even say anything, you've already got it all figured out. Why even bother asking me to give an honest answer if you already 'know' what the truth is?"

"You know, you're right. This was pointless," Hal returned, he looked thoughtful a moment, and then, as if deciding something, reached into his jacket and dug out a slightly rumpled yet familiar book, shoving it at Jimmy, "I found this in the tent when I broke it down before the attack at the community center. It was just laying there, right out in the open."

Jimmy didn't bother looking at the book's title, holding it down and slightly hidden against his pant leg, his stomach twisting into knots and features flushed.

"Matt could've been the one that found this," Hal seethed, then shook his head and snorted softly, "Figure you should probably hold on to it, because Ben can be so careless and stupid, he'd leave it out for dad to find."

Heat rushed to Jimmy's head at the thought, intensifying the color in his cheeks from mortification at Hal finding the book in the first place. He nodded distantly, unable to speak around the lump lodged in his throat. Hal shifted uncomfortably, scowled and ran a hand across the back of his neck.

"I don't want to know what you and Ben do, I really don't," Hal said, "But if you're having sex with my brother…"

"Jesus Christ," Jimmy groaned, burying his face in his palm. As if things couldn't get worse in his relationship with Ben.

"No, you listen to me," Hal hissed, lightly smacking Jimmy's shoulder to get his attention, "Ben's not half as tough as he pretends to be. When he gets hurt, he really gets hurt. If he thinks this means more than you do, it'll crush him. You're right that he's been through a lot, and the last thing he needs is some little shit screwing with his emotions."

"So what is this supposed to be? The 'treat my brother with respect' talk?" Jimmy grumbled sheepishly.

"No. This is me telling you if you break my brother's heart, pack a bag, pick a direction and start walking, because you're dead if you stay with the 2nd Mass," Hal returned, then gestured the book, "Now stash that garbage somewhere Matt won't find, please."

Jimmy nodded stiffly, watching with shadowed features as Hal stalked away, wondering in a low mutter beneath his breath, "What if he breaks my heart?"


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AN: Right. Um, not much to say about this chapter. Matt learning to shoot and a little more insight into Jimmy's feelings.

Let me know what you guys think.

Reviewers: Sassysavanna190, that's the shortest review I've gotten from you so far, but still loaded with emotion! It was a bit of a heartbreaking scene last chapter, I can understand. And yes, Tom is back. And yes, something bad must always happen and soon [insert maniacal laughter here]. Dee, yes, you definitely more than made up for missing last chapter. I love reading your thoughts on the characters. You're definitely right that Ben got hurt hardcore last chapter. Jimmy is definitely not going to make the relationship easy on either of them at all. Flying spaghetti monsters, yay! NoxOne, a kiss ass? No, not really. :) Yeah, they need to open up to eachother more, one boy more than the other, but still...hm...yeah, I have a few writing projects lined up, so I don't think I'll be too bored when this is done. I really can't wait to start posting that dark future Falling Skies fic. IcicleLilly, sorry. I don't know what else to say. I don't know how long it'll take to get to the reunion. I know, I know, the updates are soooooo far apart, but hey, I am reliable. I always post when I say I will. FacePalmer123, bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! I enjoy playing with emotions, why would I stop now? :) As you can see this chapter, though, Jimmy doesn't necessarily consider him and Ben broken up. So there's that. JDMlvr1, yeah, a bit of steamy-ness to tide you over for a little while, hopefully? Um...Jimmy definitely messed up, but Ben kind of expected as much. He knows his lover well. I actually don't watch the show anymore. I stopped exactly one episode and ten minutes after Compass. I hope everyone who still watches continues to enjoy though! Typhoonboom08, now I know last chapter must have been good! Yeah, it would be too far outside of Jimmy's character for him to take those words well. Hopefully, he'll sort out his emotions on the issue soon. It is a vulnerable place, and while Ben maybe ready for that kind of vulnerability, Jimmy's not. Maben00, awesome! I love new readers. Glad you found the stories and to hear that you love them! It makes me so happy that the stories are drawing you in and that you're feeling for the characters as much as you are! Thanks for stopping in! Hope to hear from you again. PS, I also hope Greg sees your review. I'm a little worried about him...but I think he'll be fine.

See you guys Sunday and have a Happy Father's Day!