Naruto Noir
I don't own Naruto. Special Credit to redspud for offering up the idea for this Shot. This Shot, much like many of the ones preceding it, is unrelated to any other Shot in the Gallery. This Shot will most likely be revisited at some point in the future, most likely showing Sakura's perspective on these events.
I was sitting in my office dressed in my orange trenchcoat and fedora, waiting for a client, any client to come in. Then, like a godsend, the two of them came in. The guy had black eyes and black hair. Personally, I'd hate to meet his barber, because it wouldn't be lying if I said that his hair looked just like the business end of a duck. Next to him, the green-eyed girl who was either his squeeze or, if he was hired muscle, his boss, had pink hair and a look on her face that shows a rage that would probably get Kyuubi himself to pause for a moment if he weren't trapped in me. Nevertheless, you never lose face in front of a potential client so I kept my face blank while I asked, "What do you want?"
I'm not one for understand how people work, but if I were to guess, I'd guess that the girl didn't like being addressed like that, mostly going by the fact that her glare got stronger and she looked seconds away from ripping my head off with her bare hands. If looks could kill, there wouldn't be enough of me to bury. Meanwhile, the guy didn't really react to my question, so I decide he must be the muscle. Both of them are ninja's though, as I can tell by their forehead protectors, so it was probably going to be one of my more interesting cases.
"You were supposed to be at the team meeting three hours ago!" the girl yelled loud enough that I'm sure that people in Suna could hear her loud and clear, getting in my face and looking as if she wanted to bite my head off.
'Girl's a bit off-balance,' was what I gathered from that shouting. I tossed a sympathetic nod to the bodyguard. Poor sap has to deal with her everyday. He'd probably quit if he could, but, if there was anything I learned when I did my time as a shinobi for Konoha, it's that you accept what paychecks you can and keep an eye out for a future job opening. That's how I got into this business, after all.
Next thing I know, Pinky's lifted me out of my office and is carrying me off while Ducky is simply walking behind her. Guess I was wrong over who was who in their partnership. Despite knowing how she's going to react, I leap out of her arms and begin walking. I know where the training ground is, and I haven't needed to be carried since I learned to walk. I figured I should get some information for this case, so I asked, "What do you need me to do, and how much are you going to pay me for it?"
It's always good to be up-front about things like that. Otherwise, the client might stiff you by paying less than ideal prices because you didn't agree on a price earlier.
"You're our teammate, baka!" Pinky shouted, "We need to head to the Hokage Tower for our next assignment!"
That was news to me. I could have sworn I'd done my time and quit after having to catch that cat for the thirty-fourth time. Maybe I should talk to someone more reasonable. Turning to Ducky, I asked, "What's she going on and on about?"
Ducky looked at me and Pinky before letting out a long-suffering sigh. Personally, I can't blame him, having to work for someone who's clearly mentally unstable probably gets grating on the nerves. Despite his problems, he was completely calm while he said, "We're part of a group who solve problems. Our boss wants us to work with you so we can have a detective's eyes on this too. Your pay's one fourth of the take for the job. You interested?"
"Alright," I told him. Hey, like I said, you accept the paychecks you can get. Besides, I'm sure Ducky could use the company so he doesn't have to deal with Pinky alone. Sticking around a psycho always got a bit annoying after a while. Also, I'm curious, which was the other reason I got into the detective business. With the agreement made between me and Ducky over the case, I started following Pinky's lead and headed to the Tower. On the way, I found out that Pinky's name was Sakura and Ducky's name was Sasuke, so the trip wasn't completely boring.
Hokage-iji smiled as the three of us entered the room. I wasn't sure whether it's because he was happy to see me or because we finally got there, but I'd be willing to bet it's a mix of both. At any rate, Kakashi walked in just as Jiji pulled out a file and told us, "Alright, Team Seven, I have a C-Rank for you. You need to escort a bridge builder by the name of Tazuna to Wave and protect him from bandits."
I could already tell this job wasn't going to be client was clearly a bit of a drinker, and that never boded well. Given that he was clearly genuinely afraid of being attacked while he headed home, he was either someone's courier of things that get sold under the table, he was in deep with organized crime, or he had a powerful enemy. This was definitely not going to be fun.
We were walking the drunk to Wave when I noticed something weird. There was a puddle of water on the ground. It hadn't rained around here in weeks, so that only meant one thing.
"Trap!" I called out as I tackled the drunk to the ground. It was obvious that they were targeting him, since he was too scared to be involved, which meant that it wasn't a plan to get at Konoha. Fortunately, Kakashi had been able to intervene by taking the hit and most likely pretending to die and hide wherever it was he went. Most likely, he was observing our ability to work together.
I have to say, Sakura impressed me. I've never seen a girl her age make a grown man cry out in terrible pain and then be suddenly silenced, except for that one time Hinata had hired me to find some plushy that went missing and I found out that her dad took it. From what I've heard, she's now the clan head and he's supposed to be able to eat solid foods in a few months. Personally, I think both girls were simply working off some frustration over something I can't figure out, but I could be wrong.
Anyway, with his partner horribly mutilated the other missing nin tried to attack the client but a bullet from me and one of Sasuke's fireballs made sure he was out of commission.
Considering that those two were the Demon Brothers, Zabuza Momochi had to be in on killing Tazuna, which meant it was my powerful enemies theory, since Zabuza needed the money to start his coup and wouldn't bother killing a bridge builder for no good reason. It was then that I found myself wishing that I had one of my sources in the underground here. Still, I did have a source with me that was still breathing, conscious, and not screaming in agony. I decided to do things the easier way.
Lifting the drunk up and shoving him against a tree, I shouted, "Who's out to get you, and why?"
"Let me explain," he said, the magic words flying from his mouth quicker than birds flying from a cat, "What do you know about Gato?"
"The shipping magnate?" I asked, dropping him to the ground, "I know that every Hidden Village of note wants to take him out but can't due to lack of evidence. He supposedly hires mercenaries and missing nin like clockwork, but all the authorities get from him are corpses of missing nin that his 'security department' kill for him, but he's been quiet in the past few years. You're telling me that he's in Wave and he's the one who wants you dead? Why?"
"The bridge I'm making will end the monopoly he has on getting important goods to our village," he responded, "He doesn't want us to be free of his control."
"Lying about a mission's difficulty is grounds for cancellation," Kakashi said, proving my hunch about him surviving right.
"But, since you paid us a chunk of the actual cost, we're going to keep with you and set a payment schedule before we tell the boss," I added. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a sob story and tweaking Gato's nose sounded like fun. Besides, we already got paid, and like I always say, it's a bad idea to turn down a paycheck just because of a little danger.
Predictably, Zabuza leapt out of the bushes to attack us. Fortunately for Tazuna, Sasuke had noticed the sword before he did and pulled him to the ground, letting the sword fall into trees.
Watching Zabuza make his appearance, I spoke my mind and asked him, "What are you, an idiot?"
His most likely perfectly rehearsed threat escaping his mind he asked, "What?"
"Are you an idiot?" I repeated, "You obviously didn't look up who your boss was. Have you ever heard of a missing nin getting paid by Gato? No, you hear about Gato getting paid for the bodies of missing nin, though. If you want to get funding for your little war, go right ahead, but everybody knows Gato's a slimy leech who skips out when comes time to pay for , saying that's an insult to leeches. The only reason he's still walking free is because no one can actually pin anything on him. How much is he even saying he's going to pay you?"
"Fifty thousand ryo," Zabuza replied, seeming to be thinking about what I just pointed out. Before his thoughts could be further processed, however, he was suddenly hit by some senbon to his neck.
"Thank you for keeping him occupied," a masked boy with long hair said, "I've been tracking him down for some time now."
"So you know that he's worth one hundred thousand ryo, dead or alive?" I asked, acting on a hunch. Zabuza was actually worth five hundred thousand, and any bounty hunter worth their salt would correct me just to show up a private eye.
"Yes, of course," Zabuza's partner said as he confirmed my suspicions, "But this is for the sake of protecting village secrets and reclaiming one of the Seven Swords for Kiri."
"Alright then," I replied, offering a handshake, which he took. Leaning in close to make sure only he heard what I told him, I said, "Let him know I was telling the truth when I said that Gato is going to betray him. I'm going to want to talk to you both later. I'll find you later."
With that out of the way for the time being, I found myself relaxing. This case was going to be one of the simpler ones. Not like the one where Hinata's plushy went missing. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling I was missing something. Whatever it was, I wasn't going to be able to figure out until I had some more clues to go on, so I decided to let it go for the time being. It's not like I don't like finding out things, after all.
