AN: Chapter by AnImaginary Mann.

Thank you to SunflowerFran3759 for betaing this chapter.


It's surreal, the love that is pouring out of him. Every gesture, every shy smile conveys a depth of emotion that heightens the magnitude of my betrayal. Contempt will soon replace affection, so I bask in the glory of being loved – this is the memory I want to keep, to nurse me through the hardships of life and to guide me into the afterlife.

As I sit in the living room that should have been ours, I can't help but notice how bare of human warmth it is. There are no pictures or personal touches ... it's a room just out of a magazine, beautiful, but lacking a soul. My mind has always shied away from contemplating how Edward was affected by everything that happened. However, looking around this place there is no denying that I wounded the very core of the man I love.

He says nothing, patiently waiting for me to gather my thoughts – that's Edward, always striving to please. It only compounds the crushing guilt I already feel, so I clear my throat, and despite my sweaty palms and galloping heart, I brave the silence

"Edward, I'm sorry for disturbing you. I didn't mean to pry, I simply wanted to see this house again; I really didn't know you still lived here."

"It's okay, Bella. There are so many things I just realized ... The reason why I kept this place has never been clear to me, but now I know; it was because I still love you, so very much and ... "

"God, Edward, please don't! Don't say anything you will regret!" His entire face crumples at my interruption. He thinks I'm rejecting him, he doesn't know that soon he will be the one rejecting me.

"Why Bella, because it will make it harder on you? Well guess what, this time I won't make it so easy for you to walk away from me. I want you, do you hear me?" His countenance is fierce, determination transforming his face into a mask of uncompromising will.

"Edward, just hear me out before saying your piece, okay?"

"Why Bella? Nothing you say will change my mind. So, why waste any more time?" He truly believes his words ... and it breaks my heart, because he is about to discover just how rotten is the woman who stole his heart.

"Please indulge me." At his silent nod of acquiescence, I proceed. "After we parted in the coffee house, I sank into a deep depression. Things were really bad ... there were days when I didn't get out of the bed. Then one day I made the effort, but I got dizzy and fell to my knees.

"The pain was excruciating. Although my knee has never quite healed from the accident, it never hurt that bad. The doctors ran a lot of tests… and in the end they found out that I had osteosarcoma in the proximal tibia. I had an above the knee amputation."

I keep my eyes down – I don't want to see the pity in his eyes. A choked sound comes from him, and suddenly he is kneeling in front of me. He tries to hold my face and take my hands, but I don't let him; I don't deserve his sympathy. But he is undeterred by my reticence.

"How did I miss this? I'm a doctor! How could I have ... Bella, why did you have an amputation? Unless there was neurovascular encasement ... Oh, God! If I had paid attention you wouldn't have needed to ... What happened, Bella?"

He was crying openly, desperation tinting his every word. I ached with the need to comfort him, but refrained. He wouldn't want to be in my arms, not after hearing everything I had to say.

"After being diagnosed with cancer, the doctors did a lot of tests. Eventually, they discovered that I was pregnant."

"Alice..." Came his astounded reply. I can see that he finally understood the severity of the choice I had to make. I wanted to live, but I also wanted to keep my baby. Back then chemotherapy wasn't recommended to pregnant women ... neither was surgery, but it was the lesser of two evils. It stopped the cancer's progression, buying me time to safely deliver Alice and then get the treatment that I needed. Of course, the safer decision would have been terminating the pregnancy, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing my Alice ...

"It was a tough call, but I don't regret it. I lost a leg, but gained an amazing little girl."

"I know, baby. I'm so proud of you ... You are so brave, my love."

It becomes too much, I get up from the couch and walk to the window. The sight of him hurts too much, for I'm about to vanish whatever is left of him. Could I do it? Should I do it? But the choice has been taken out of my hands

"Bella, how old is Alice?"