hey so the words between the / /s today are in russian.

also i recently changed my tumblr url again this time it's 'meme-loving-bastard'. thanks.

enjoy


It was a warm morning, waking up the next day.

Yao pulled away from where he had been snuggled against Ivan's chest and stretched.

"What time is it?"

Ivan grunted and rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I don't know. It feels too early, though."

Yao laughed softly. "Stop being such a whiny baby, darling."

Ivan hummed, stretching and putting an arm over Yao's shoulder again. Yao leaned his head back against him.

Slowly, painfully, Ivan began to wake up. He leaned over and kissed Yao's cheek. Yao was staring up at the ceiling. He looked deep in though, and barely reacted to Ivan's kiss.

"I want to get something off my chest," Yao said.

Ivan felt too tired still for a conversation, but who was he to stop Yao from talking? "Okay."

"I guess I've felt awkward talking about this before, but at this point, I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT." He looked at Ivan, his face rather serious."I've slept with a total of five people. There was this one girl after high school but before culinary school. I really liked her but something didn't feel right- I didn't know I was gay at that point. Then that one room mate of mine- I told you about him."

Ivan nodded, wondering what brought this topic up all of a sudden.

"And then there was Lars. It's funny because I did care about that first boy a lot, but we didn't have chemistry like me and Lars. And I didn't really care about Lars- all those feelings were just illusions, I think- but we had great sex. I don't know, at one time I thought I 'loved' him, but in retrospect, that really wasn't love and I think I knew it, even then." Yao faltered there, glancing around the room. "After he left, I laid off from having relationships for a while, but I did see one guy pretty regularly. I can't remember his name for the life of me. Anyway, that was when I was about twenty four. HE started developing feelings for me though, so I stopped replying to his texts. And since I was already living with Kiku, we only ever met at his place, so he really couldn't find me no matter how much he wanted to. Isn't that cruel of me?" Yao asked, smiling a strange smile and looking at Ivan.

Ivan shrugged, "Couldn't you have broken up with him?"

Yao hummed. "That's not really how those things work. Anyway, a year or so later, I started hooking up with another guy, and we actually started dating and getting pretty serious. Unfortunately, just like with you, Kiku got involved. He was really mean that time, and my boyfriend broke up with me two weeks later. That was four years ago and I haven't tried dating anyone since." Yao nodded, almost to himself. "Any questions?"

Ivan thought this all over. He did have questions, but they weren't really about Yao's sex life than sex itself. His questions seemed really personal, too personal to actually ask. Although, this was a pretty personal topic to begin with.

"So, you have a lot of experience, right?" Ivan started, awkwardly.

Yao smiled, bemused, and nodded.

"Have you been in both... positions, then?" Ivan asked, more tentatively.

"Positions? Ah, I get what you mean, Yeah, I've been in both." Yao said it so casually, shrugging dismissively.

Ivan nodded. From what little he knew about the mechanics of gay sex, he imagined that everyone would prefer the 'top'. He wondered if this was true for Ya, too. He couldn't imagine the 'bottom' being very comfortable at all.

"And do you have a … preference?"

"Uh, I don't know, "Yao tilted his head to one side and looked at the wall. "Probably bottom," he ceded at last, shrugging.

"Really?" Ivan asked, surprised.

Yao shrugged. Ivan didn't get it. What was so great about someone sticking it in your butt?

"What does it even feel like?" he blurted before he could hope to censor himself.

"Oh?" Yao raised an amused brow. "I suppose I could show you, some time."

Ivan was taken aback by the suggestive nature of that comment, and how casually Yao had said it. "W- what?"

Yao looked at Ivan, saw how flustered that comment had made Ivan, and realized how Ivan had interpreted him. "No, oh no, I meant like, fingering, not actually- come on, Ivan, you didn't think- oh my god."

"O-oh, um, okay," Ivan's face was bright red.

"Another time, though. It's way too early for that kind of thing."

Ivan nodded in agreement.


"/Do you have all your bags packed/?" Yekaterina asked for the fifth time, fussing over Natalya's collar.

"/Yes, yes. I'm sure I have everything. Toris and his father are going to be here soon. Can you help me take my things outside/?"

Yekaterina nodded and took the two bigger bags. They set the bags on the front porch.

"/I cannot believe that you're going to school already. You need to write to me a lot and tell me everything that happens/."

Natalya nodded.

"/And make sure you keep Ivan in line. And stay in contact with Eduard and Raivis. They're going to miss you a lot. Make sure Toris doesn't get in trouble. Take care of yourself and him/."

Natalya laughed softly, nodding dutifully.

Toris' father pulled up in an old white car then, and Toris himself popped out of the passenger side to help Natalya carry her bags to the trunk.

Yekaterina could feel herself choking up as she watched Natalya pack her things in next to Toris'.

"/Well, I guess this is good bye for now, big sister/," Natalya said to Yekaterina, offering a hug. Yekaterina squeezed her tight.

When she let go, Natalya stood an arm's length back from her and nodded. She turned toward Toris' car.

"/Wait! We cam e to say good bye, too/!" someone called from up the street a house or two.

Toris and Natalya looked, and were happy to find Eduard and Raivis running toward them.

"/Did you two run all the way here.?" Toris asked incredulously.

"/We didn't want you guys to leave before we could say good bye/," Eduard said, bent over and breathing hard. Raivis nodded, unable to voice it himself because he was already crying.

Toris smiled kindly at Raivis. "/Don't cry. I'll be back to visit, my mother will make sure of it/." Raivis nodded, shaking the hand Toris offered.

Once Eduard caught his breath, he stood, and Natalya offered him a small smile.

"/I really am going to miss you guys/," he said, hugging Natalya. "/Sorry I'm not coming with you/."

"/Don't be sorry for something you can't control, idiot/," she rebuked.

He just rolled his eyes. "/Well, good luck in college/."

"/You too, good luck/."


Lukas and Tino went to visit Matthias that day. When they came in, there was a nurse checking his status.

"Oh, you're Mr. Nikkelsen's friends?" they nodded, taking seats on either side of Matthias' bed. 'I have very good news for you, then. This morning, Mr. Nikkelsen woke up. He didn't say much- asked for a glass of water- before he fell back asleep, but it's a very good sign. We've already informed his family. They must be worried sick, having such a young son under such intensive care. I can't imagine."

Lukas ignored her continued babbling. "I wonder why they didn't call me. His family and I are pretty close..." Lukas wondered aloud, raising an eyebrow at Tino. Tino shrugged. .The nurse left.

Lukas and Tino sat in silence, contemplating Matthias.

"I bet you feel better knowing that he woke up, huh?" Tino asked, a smile on his face.

Lukas shot Tino a glare. "Yes."

Lukas watched Matthias' eyes, scanned his body. There was heavy bandaging over his head, his left eye covered. His left arm was also bandaged, a sling supporting it. He was sat up slightly, and the bandaging also wrapped around his upper torso.

Tino, on the other hand, watched Lukas. His brow was hard set as it usually was, and his eyes were hard to read. His body language, however, was tense, and only by the set of his jaw could Tino tell that Lukas wanted to touch Matthias' hand. Intimacy was a very private matter for Lukas, so Tino took this as a cue to go get some water.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Tino said, getting to his feet.

Lukas nodded, watching him go gratefully. Only once Tino was out the door and down the hall a little did Lukas move closer to the bed, taking Matthias' hand between his. It was cold from being exposed to the room, but quickly gained heat from Lukas' warm hands.

Lukas watched his face more intently. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, Matthias would wake up and greet him. He was relieved to hear that Matthias had already woken up that day, and doubted that he would have enough energy to hold any sort of conversation if he did wake up, but Lukas would feel a lot better if he did.

There were a lot of things that Lukas had to say to him.

He squeezed Matthias' hand and put his forehead to the back of his own hand. "Wake up, idiot," he said softly.

He could hear Matthias breathing, and he closed his eyes shut tight. When they were in middle school they would have sleepovers a lot, and Lukas was always kept up at night by how loudly Matthias breathed. He was a deep sleeper, too, so it wasn't like Lukas could kick him awake and actually have a chance to sleep. It was annoying. However, now, Matthias breathed so softly, and Lukas was so worried.

Lukas wouldn't be able to tell how long he was sitting there for. At one point he slid his fingers along to feel the pulse point at Matthias' wrist. He had been so worried over the weekend, it had been hell, and here Matthias was, still breathing, his heart still beating. Lukas almost felt dumb for beating himself up so badly. Matthias had woken up. He was okay.

Lukas had been squeezing Matthias' hand tightly for an undetermined amount of time. Lukas expect his hand to be totally white from pressure. He hadn't expected to feel Matthias' hand squeeze his back.

Lukas barely contained a gasp, peering up at Matthias with wide, searching eyes. Matthias' eyelid, the one not obscured by bandages, was moving, and slowly, he opened his eye, blinking against the bright whiteness of the hospital room. Tino slipped back into the room silently around this time, but Lukas ignored him.

Lukas was frozen, stunned, relief washing over him. He was leaning back in his seat, his hand still holding tight to Matthias'. He watched as Matthias quietly observed his surroundings, his eye finally landing on Lukas. Matthias smiled wide.

"Hello," Matthias said with a warm voice, his eye scrutinizing Lukas. He looked a little confused. Tino moved a little closer to the bed, careful to be as unobtrusive as possible.

"Matthias, how do you feel?" Lukas trained his voice to remain calm, inexpressive. He was giddy with all the thoughts racing through his mind- he had so much to tell Matthias, but how would he do it? He hadn't even thought about it. He had to tell Matthias how he felt.

Matthias had noticed Tino, now, too, and gave him the same 'hello' as he had Lukas.

"You've had us all worried sick, you know," Tino said, cautiously cheerful, scooting his chair close to Matthias' bed.

"I'm sorry," Matthias said, looking more dazed. His brow was knit loosely, not showing any definite emotion, but Lukas still took note of this. Something seemed off. "I'm sorry, what happened? My arm hurts an awful lot. Where are we?"

Lukas could feel his blood turn cold. "Matthias..." He was acting so formal and polite. Something was definitely wrong.

Lukas squeezed his hand tighter, and Matthias turned his gaze back to him. He was still smiling, so friendly, but there was no recognition in his eyes. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

Lukas felt sick. He let his face fall to a blank slate, hiding all emotion. His heart was hammering. "Tino, please find a doctor."


ok so i think i have about 25 chapters left of this thing. i hope you guys don't get too bored, lol.

this was probably the most difficult chapter to write- it was supposed to be 2x as long, but i wanted to actually post something before i left for 4th of july weekend, lol. idek what was so difficult about it, but i sat staring at my journal for like two hours trying to write the first bit with yao and ivan? sorry if it seemed rushed today.

the story's getting rly hyper involved, but i swear there is a method to my madness...

ok, thank you, please review and have a safe 4th of july for my american readers- that means no blowing up bottle rockets at living things. god just don't do that that's stupid. and don't mess around with dry ice or other homemade explosives, at least not too liberally. ok ok bye