Chapter 55

"Of course I can do this. I'm pregnant, not brain-damaged. My condition doesn't change my personality." ― Christine Feehan, Ruthless Game

"Ahh," Hijikata-san let out a relieved breath he had been holding in, "we're finally back."

Upon the realization that I was pregnant back in Osaka, Hijikata-san instantly transformed into a mother hen and refused to let me out of his sight the whole time we were traveling back to headquarters. He always made sure that I had plenty of breaks, which I thought was pointless since we were traveling back to Kyoto by ferry and not by foot, and that I actually sat down during those breaks. He did not allow me to do anything physically straining either and when I complained his excuse was, "What if you fell or hurt yourself? I'm not going to allow you to have another miscarriage on my watch!" I was treated more like an invalid than the injured Sannan-san and I'm pretty sure Sannan-san got a laugh out of watching me deal with Hijikata-san's unwanted fussing.

"Well, if you would excuse me then." Shimada-san said with a brief bow and Hijikata-san nodded silently to dismiss Shimada-san. Shimada-san gave me a warm congratulatory smile once more before he excused himself to go find some dinner.

"Now shouldn't we be going to the main hall to get some dinner too?" Hijikata-san suggested.

"Why don't you and Sannan-san go ahead? I'll head to the kitchen and whip together some dinner for us from the leftovers." I said and just as Hijikata-san was about to object to me doing any physical labor, I cut him off. "Don't you dare say that I shouldn't be doing any work. The kitchen is my domain."

"Hijikata-kun, why don't you relax a bit?" Sannan-san said with a smile. "Nothing bad is going to happen to Shizuka-chan in the kitchen."

Hijikata-san looked at Sannan-san like Sannan-san suggested something crazy, but he then took a deep breath and let some of the tension drain out of his shoulders as he exhaled. "Fine," Hijikata-san yielded before he turned to give me a hard look, "BUT don't go lifting anything heavy! If you need to move something that's heavy then come to the main hall and request some help, got it?!"

"Yes, I understand." I sighed before I turned to Sannan-san and said with a stern voice, "Sannan-san, once you get to the main hall with Hijikata-san, don't even think of sneaking off to your room without eating dinner."

"Oh? What if I want to eat in my room?" Sannan-san challenged.

"Don't think you can fool me." I said with narrowed eyes and a finger pointed at him. "I know that if you go to your room then you won't eat. Hijikata-san, keep an eye on Sannan-san and don't let him leave the main hall without eating. Doctor's orders!"

"Yeah, got it." Hijikata-san nodded before he began steering Sannan-san towards the main hall. Sannan-san shot me a short glare before he slumped in defeat and obediently followed Hijikata-san to the main hall.

After I saw Sannan-san enter the main hall with Hijikata-san and was sure that Sannan-san wasn't going to make a break for it, I headed towards the kitchen to see what I could quickly throw together from the leftovers. Within the kitchen I found plenty of cooked rice still leftover from tonight's dinner along with some fresh raw fish, some miso soup, unused tofu, and some pickled vegetables. I could grill one of the fishes and use the remaining food to put together a standard meal for Hijikata-san, but feeding Sannan-san would require a different order of food. Sannan-san still couldn't eat with two hands, so I had to make something different that only required one hand and I was sure he was sick of all the rice balls he had eaten. Thankfully the raw fish was fresh. I could make some Edo-styled sushi for Sannan-san. Sushi was considered finger food and I was sure Sannan-san would appreciate something else besides rice balls. Besides, fish carried plenty of vitamin B12, which was what Sannan-san needed plenty of right now. As for me, honestly, my stomach was a tiny bit unsettled from the ferry ride back and I was afraid that I would throw up if I ate anything too heavy. I was probably going to just make tofu dengaku[1] from the unused tofu and drink the leftover soup for dinner.

"Ah, so there you are, Shizuka-chan." a kind voice said from behind me. I turned around to see Inoue-san smile at me kindly as he stepped into the kitchen through the doors I left open. "Welcome back."

"Inoue-san," I smiled back. "It's good to be back. What are you doing here? I thought you would be in the main hall eating with the others."

"Toshi-san requested that I go help you in the kitchens." Inoue-san answered as he took the fish I had in my hand and threw it into the pan to grill. "I'll take care of Toshi-san's and your food and you can take care of Sannan-san's food."

"Hijikata-san worries too much. You don't have to worry about my food." I told Inoue-san. "My stomach is a bit unsettled from the ferry ride back, so I can't really eat too much. I was just going to make a small plate of tofu dengaku and drink the leftover miso soup."

"Your stomach is feeling a bit tender from the ferry ride? You're not sick are you? You usually don't get affected by seasickness." he asked concernedly.

"No, I'm fine." I said. I did want to tell Inoue-san that that the reason my stomach was a little unsettled was because of my pregnancy, but I wanted to tell Souji I was pregnant before I told anyone else.

"If you say so." Inoue-san dropped the subject and focused on the fish he was grilling. "Now, let's focus and get this food ready to eat."


"Here, I'll get the door." I said as I opened the door to the main hall for Inoue-san since I was only carrying my own small tray of food while Inoue-san carried Hijikata-san's and Sannan-san's trays.

"Thank you." Inoue-san said to me before he stepped into the main hall. I closed the door behind me after I entered the room after Inoue-san.

"So there you are." Souji said with a warm happy smile when he spotted me. He quickly made room next himself and excitedly patted the empty spot while looking at me expectantly.

I giggled at Souji's enthusiasm and quickly went to sit at his side while Inoue-san place Sannan-san's and Hijikata-san's trays of food in front of them before he returned to his own seat. As soon as I sat down, Souji wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me against his side before he pressed a kiss onto the top of my head.

"You're finally back home." Souji mumbled in quiet relief to himself. "Two weeks was too long."

"I missed you too." I said before I gave him a light kiss on his cheek. His grip on me slackened slightly, after we had said our small greetings to each other, so I could eat.

"Damn! That looks really good!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed while ogling Sannan-san's food. "Fresh Edo-styled sushi, not the cured stuff you normally find in Kyoto! You aren't going to eat all of that by yourself, are you?"

"Oi! Shinpachi, did you really just ask that?" Sano-san reprimanded Shinpachi-san. Shinpachi-san just rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin as his stomach growled loudly.

"You bottomless pit." Heisuke sighed exasperatedly before turning to me cheerfully. "Welcome back, Shizuka-chan."

"It's nice to be back." I said warmly before shifting my attention to Shinpachi-san, "Still hungry, Shinpachi-san? Want some of my food?" I didn't have too much food to offer, but Shinpachi-san was still hungry and I didn't have much of an appetite.

"Yay! Shizuka-chan's the best!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed enthusiastically before he actually looked at what I was eating. Once he caught a glimpse of the meager food on my plate he furrowed his brows. "It's true that I'm still hungry, but I'm not so hungry that I'd steal food from someone that didn't have much to begin with. Why did ya give yourself so little food?"

I sighed and pushed my tray away. I had only taken a few bites of my meal and I was already starting to feel a bit queasy because, apparently, my body was saying no to anything with miso in it right now. I leaned my head against Souji shoulder while everyone looked at me with concern.

"I'm feeling a bit sick right now." I said honestly. "Why don't you go ahead and take my food right now. I don't feel like I can eat."

"Shizuka…" Souji said with a frown and a furrowed brow before placing his hand on my forehead. "No fever…"

"Did you catch something while you were away?" Otou-san asked with worry.

"No." I said before I quietly murmured to myself, "It's more like I caught something here before I left."

Souji raised a single eyebrow when he heard the last part of my comment as he rubbed my side with the arm he had looped around my waist.

"Umm," Chizuru-chan, who was quiet since I came in, spoke up. "Do you want me to give you a quick check up? I know I haven't been studying long, but I do have some experience from helping my chichi in the past."

I smiled at Chizuru-chan's offer. She was always ready to try to help a person in need. She really was a sweet girl.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm fine. I already know what's causing my loss of appetite right now." I answered.

"If you do know then you should take some precautionary measures right now to prevent your condition from worsening." said Saito-san.

Otou-san nodded in agreement with what Saito-san. "Some adept advice, Saito-kun." Otou-san said before turning to Souji. "Why don't you take Shizu-chan back to your room so she can get some rest? It'll be better for her recovery if she's well rested. I'll come and check on her in a bit."

"Huh? But I'm fine!" I protested. I wasn't sick and I didn't need to be sent to bed early!

Souji ignored my protest and quickly picked me up bridal style, temporally knock the air out of me. "Be a good girl and don't complain." Souji scolded as he carried me out the main hall and towards our room. Sannan-san and Hijikata-san were both holding back snickers as they mockingly waved me good-bye.

"Souji, put me down. I can walk." I said when we were approaching our room. I could walk by myself!

"I don't want to." Souji said as he simply held me up by balancing me on one arm and used his other hand to open the door to our room. Geez, wasn't I a bit too heavy to be carried with one arm?

Souji place me on the futon first before he lit the lanterns for light. When the room was properly lit, I could see a pile of unopened letters that had piled up on the desk when I was gone. It was strange, Souji usually dealt with the mail immediately and never let it sit unopened.

"Those are from my ani." Souji answered the questions floating around in my head. "The only reason I didn't burn them yet is because I never lit the brazier for heat while you were gone. You know how the cold never really bothers me."

"Are you sure you don't want to read them?" I asked. "I know it hurts to receive letters from her every time and you can have some closure if you just respond to one letter from her."

"… I don't know…" Souji sighed as he placed his swords on the stand above his side of the futon before sitting down on the futon in front of me. He quickly examined me for himself after he sat down.

"So, back to the main reason why we're back in our room so early." Souji said seriously. "And don't even think about not telling me the truth if you are sick. I saw Sannan-san's and Hijikata-san's mocking waves. I can always get Yamazaki-kun or Chizuru-chan to examine you and tell me the truth if you don't tell me what's going on."

"Well, it's nothing serious." I said before retracting that statement after some thought. "Actually, it might be, depending on how you look at the situation."

"So then, are you going to tell me what it is?" he asked impatiently. "I'm waiting."

I smiled coyly at Souji before I scooted over to sit right next to him and took his hand into mine. "Why don't I give you a hint and see if you can guess." I said before I laid his hand on my belly.

"Guess?" Souji mumbled perplexedly before his eyes grew wide in disbelief. "… It can't be… Are you serious?!"

"So do you know?" I asked with a small smile.

Souji quickly and abruptly cupped my face and pulled me into an excited kiss before he released my face to allow both of his hands to wander back down to my lower abdomen.

"I can't believe it…" Souji breathed out. "I'm going to be a chichi…" Souji then broke out in a large grin. He pressed a kiss on my belly before placing his ear against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I laughed at his excited reaction as I ran my fingers through his hair. "You know, the baby's still too small for you to hear it or feel it move."

"I know." Souji said enthusiastically. "But it still doesn't make me want to do this any less. I bet there is already the beginnings of a small baby bump beneath your clothing. Do you know how far along you are?"

"Probably around four to five weeks along." I said gently. "Do you have any preference regarding the gender?"

"Just as long as the baby is born healthy, then any gender is fine." Souji said as he sat up again so he could pull me into his lap. "Although, I am hoping for a girl."

"Not a boy?" I asked curiously. Most people actually preferred to have a boy first. "If the baby's a boy then you don't have to worry about producing an heir later."

"I want a boy too, but I rather have a miniature Shizuka running around first." Souji said as he tucked his face into the crook of my neck. "Besides, who says we're going to stop at one child? I want at least eight."

At least eight?! As in eight kids as bare minimum?! Easy for him to say. It's not like he's going to be the one carrying them around for nine months before pushing them out of a tiny hole. I knew Souji liked kids but I didn't think he would want so many. I always thought two was a good number, but if Souji really wanted at least eight then I would at least try to give him as many as I could. Although, I preferably would not want to give birth eight times.

"So when did you find out that you were pregnant?" Souji asked.

"On the last day I was in Osaka with Hijikata-san and the others." I said. "You know, Hijikata-san nearly pulled his hair out when he discovered that he dragged a pregnant woman around Osaka on a hunt for a thief."

"Wait, Hijikata-san dragged you around on a thief hunt?" Souji asked in a near feral snarl. Oops. I should have thought about what I was going to say first.

"Well, it's not like we knew better until after the whole fiasco." I quickly defended Hijikata-san. "And it's not like the thief was dangerous. It turned out that the thief we were after was a bird." I said, purposely leaving out the silly raid on the warehouse.

"That anal nitpicking jackass is a dead man walking." Souji mumbled darkly as he ignored everything I had just said.

"Oh! You'll never guess who I met again in Osaka!" I quickly said to derail Souji's thoughts of premeditated murder. I quickly sent Isao-kun a silent apology in my head for what I was about to do. "I met Isao-kun again."

"Tsubaki-kun?" Souji asked as his face grew incredibly dark as, what appeared to be killer intent, oozed out of him. "I thought I got rid of him for good." he growled to himself under his breath.

"He's a tailor in Osaka now and he helped solve the thefts in Osaka. Hijikata-san made a deal with him before we left. Isao-kun is going to be the Shinsengumi's main tailor now so he can get some business from us while we get discounts." I explained.

"Oh? I don't suppose I'll be seeing him anytime soon?" Souji asked with a hand twitching towards his swords not so discreetly.

"He'll probably come around headquarters a couple of times in the future, but he'll be busy for the first few months since he's getting MARRIED soon." I said, making sure to emphasize the married part so that Souji would know that Isao-kun no longer carried that crush that caused all the trouble in the first place.

"Hmm… I guess I won't have to beat him up AS much now." Souji commented.

"Wouldn't it be better if you didn't beat him up at all?" I suggested weakly, knowing full well that Souji wasn't going to listen to this suggestion.

I'm sorry Isao-kun, but if Souji decided to target Hijikata-san more intensely than he normally did then the whole dynamic of the Shinsengumi would be thrown off balance .I was a firm believer of "don't shit where you eat". Now the tradeoff was that I had to keep Souji busy whenever Isao-kun came to headquarters for business, something easier said than done.

"Souji? Shizu-chan?" both of us heard Otou-san suddenly called concernedly through the door. Otou-san was probably here to check up on my health now.

"Kondou-san?" Souji said. "You can come in."

Otou-san opened the door and entered when he received permission from Souji, not like Otou-san needed it to begin with. I'm sure Souji would have been just as thrilled if Otou-san entered the room without announcing himself first. Otou-san closed the door and sat down next to the futon and in front of me and Souji.

"Shizu-chan, how are you feeling now?" Otou-san asked me with worry still visible on his face.

"I'm fine now. It was just the taste of miso that made me feel a bit sick." I said.

"So what's wrong? You did tell Yukimura-kun that you knew what was wrong." Otou-san asked.

"Shizuka's pregnant." Souji blurted out cheerfully with a massive grin. I bet he couldn't hold that in.

"Oh, I s—" Otou-san said before he truly processed Souji had blurted out. "WHAT?! Truly?!"

I nodded excitedly and Otou-san let out a loud joyful laugh at the news.

"Hahaha! I can't believe it!" Otou-san said as he pulled Souji into a congratulatory hug. Since I was still sitting on Souji's lap, when Souji got pulled into the hug, I got squished between the two men and I had to clear my throat to get their attention. "Oops, sorry there, Shizu-chan." Otou-san apologized.

Otou-san released Souji from the hug and me by extension, he pat Souji on the shoulder before he place a hand on my belly.

"I'll go out and purchase a hara-obi for you tomorrow so we can go get it blessed at the temple." Otou-san said to me before he removed his hand.

"Already? Isn't that a bit early?" I asked.

A hara-obi was something that Japanese women started to wear during the fifth month of pregnancy. It was essentially a piece of cloth, was often white, that was thirty-two feet in length and about half a foot wide. As one would guess from the obi part of the name, the hara-obi is used to wrap the abdomen of a pregnant woman, except that it was worn underneath the kimono rather than over it, like a normal obi.

The functions of the hara-obi were somewhat useless in my mind though. The main functions of this contraption was to keep the baby small to ensure an easier delivery for the mother, to protect the baby in case the mother fell or was involved in an accident of some sort, to support the back of the mother, and to keep the baby warm. On the list of reasons why women should wear the hara-obi, most of them were false. In regard to the hara-obi keeping the baby safe in case the mother fell, the hara-obi was normally made from cotton and when wrapped around the abdomen, it would normally be no thicker than an extra kimono layer. Unless the thin cotton layer could act like a metal shield, the hara-obi made the baby no safer than normal. Then on the terms of the hara-obi keeping the baby small so it be would easier to deliver, that didn't really work. If the baby is going to grow then a flimsy piece of cloth was not going to stop the baby's growth. The best way to keep the baby from becoming too large was for the mother to watch her diet during the pregnancy. As for the obi keeping the baby warm, that was completely false too. The baby is kept inside the mother's womb during pregnancy and the mother's body temperature will remain constant at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit regardless of the mother's clothing.

The only thing that I believed the hara-obi would be helpful with was supporting the mother's back. The obi was really similar to a maternity belt, so I figured that it would work the same way in supporting the mother's back. However, while the hara-obi was somewhat useless medically, it was ingrained into the culture and the cultural value was what I saw as important. When a pregnant woman received her hara-obi, she was supposed to take it with her mother and mother-in-law to a Shinto shrine where it could be prayed upon and blessed to ensure a healthy baby and a healthy delivery. The blessed obi would then be wrapped around the mother's midsection so the mother and the baby would be surrounded by prayers and good wishes. It pretty much acted as a good luck charm and gave a placebo effect of wellness.

"It's never too early to receive blessings." Otou-san answered excitedly. "Especially if the baby is going to be Souji's heir."

"Eh? What do you mean by my 'heir'?" Souji asked in surprise. "Then wouldn't the baby need to be a boy? How can you tell the baby's going to be a boy already?"

"Oh, that's easy." Otou-san said. "If the belly protrudes more then the baby is a boy. If the belly is rounder then the baby is a girl."

"Really?" I said disbelievingly. There was no scientific proof for that. "I seriously doubt people can tell the gender of the baby by the shape of the haha's abdomen."

"Is that so?" Otou-san asked. "That's what all the midwives told me that when Tsune was pregnant and they were right when Tama-chan was born."

"That was just luck .It's not hard to be correct about the gender when there is a fifty-fifty chance of guessing correctly." I said. Well, not unless the baby was born a hermaphrodite, but that was extremely rare and unlikely to happen.

"Ah, well that is true…" Otou-san said as he pondered what I said. "Anyways, I should be leaving so you can get some rest since you're probably tired from traveling while pregnant."

"Alright. Goodnight, Otou-san." I said to bid him goodnight.

"Goodnight my dear." Otou-san said before he kissed my forehead and stood up. "Watch over her, Souji."

"I will." Souji answered as he gently placed his hand on my belly again. "Sleep well, Kondou-san."

Otou-san smiled and nodded in approval before he literally skipped out of the room.

"I don't have to sleep now, do I?" I asked Souji after Otou-san left the room. "It's still pretty early."

"I guess it IS still pretty early." Souji said as he pulled the kanzashi out of my hair and pulled my hair out of its confines.

"Did anything interesting happen while I was away?" I asked as I brought my hair over my shoulder so I could run my fingers through it.

"Nothing interesting." Souji said as he eased me off his lap so he could stand up to go put my kanzashi on the desk. "Just your typical patrol rounds and babysitting Chizuru-chan."

"It must have been pretty boring then."

"It was." Souji answered plainly before returning to where I was sitting so that he could lay his head on my lap and press his ear against my belly. He laid quietly on my lap with his ear against my belly for several long minutes before he grinned up at me again and said, "Hey, I wanna see something really fast."

"What is it?" I asked before squeaking in surprise when he pulled my obi loose, "Souji?!"

He just merely continued grinning at me before he stood up and pulled me to my feet. With my obi removed, he quickly set off to remove all my layers of my kimono before he finally stripped me down to nothing but my koshimaki.

"Souji?" I asked again when he slowed down and looked softly at my lower abdomen. He then carefully placed his hand over the uncovered, small baby bump that had developed over the past few weeks while I was in Osaka, as his grin morphed into a soft smile.

Hmm… Now that I think about, without clothing on, it was pretty obvious that I was pregnant despite how small the bump was. Just how did I, myself, miss the fact that I was pregnant?

"I knew there was the beginnings of a baby bump…" Souji whispered to himself in awe, snapping me out of my thoughts, as he stroked it gently before teasing me playfully, "You must be pretty blind if you didn't notice it until recently. It IS your body."

"Hey!" I objected with a pout. "I was preoccupied with other things at the moment."

Souji just chuckled at my response before he picked me up again so he could sit back down on the futon with me cradled in his lap. As soon as he settled back down on the futon, he splayed his hand gently over the small baby bump with a peaceful smile sitting on his lips. I had never before seen Souji so happy and at peace with himself.

Although, at the same time, I had to wonder how long Souji was going to keep me half naked in his lap like this. It wasn't exactly spring yet so it was still pretty cold. Souji seemed to snap out of his daze when I wiggled closer to him for heat.

"Hmm? What is it, Shizuka?" he asked while looking completely confused.

"It's still winter and if you haven't noticed, I'm half naked here." I pointed out dryly as I suppressed a shiver. "While we are inside, I am still super sensitive to the cold."

"Oh shit… Sorry about that. I…uh…kind of dazed off there for a moment." Souji said with a faint blush on his cheeks as he averted his eyes a bit in embarrassment. But his embarrassment didn't last for long. He glimpsed at the closed door briefly before he grinned at me mischievously again and tugged my koshimaki loose too.

"Uh, Souji?" I said in confusion. "Cold usually means that I need to put on more layers of clothing, not remove my last piece of clothing."

"Well, it's much more effective to share body heat from skin-on-skin contact, right?" he said rather loudly with an impish smirk. It was almost like he was making an announcement. "I always did prefer it more when we slept naked together, like how we always do after sex."

"N-Naked?! S-S-Sex?!" a muffled feminine voice that sounded suspiciously like Chizuru-chan squeaked from the other side of the closed door.

"SHH! Chizuru, they'll hear you!" came another voice that sounded suspiciously like Heisuke this time.

"Nah. They're probably too occupied to notice us."

"Sure, Shinpachi, speak louder." then came Sano-san slightly sarcastic voice. "I don't think the whole world heard you."

Then a thud soon followed.

"Saito-san?!"

"Aw crap! I forgot how Saito can't handle these type of things. Shinpachi, Heisuke, help me move Saito before Hijikata-san comes by and sees this. I don't want to explain to Hijikata-san why Saito is passed out in the hallway in front of Souji's and Shizuka's room."

"R-Right! Come on, Chizuru. You're coming too."

"O-Okay! Coming, Heisuke-kun!"

Souji snorted in amusement after the voices and the footsteps faded away. "I figured they were there. Though, I didn't think that Chizuru-chan would be with them too." he said wryly as he tucked me into the futon under the blanket before focusing on removing his own clothing. "It's impossible to keep anything private around here. By tomorrow, everyone in the Shinsengumi will know you're pregnant."


Souji was correct in his statement. By the next morning, everyone indeed knew I was pregnant. Everyone from all the captains to the lowest ranking foot soldiers. There was nothing that spread faster in headquarters than gossip. And they say women gossip too much? I'd say that men were just as guilty if not more.

And also by the next morning, there were already big changes occurring on my chores list. I had to fight my way through the captains to get into the kitchen and once I got into the kitchen, I got kicked out after being told that I was not allowed to cook. Apparently Hijikata-san mentioned to some CERTAIN people about my hypersensitive sense of smell and how I would often feel sick when I had to cook. This resulted in all the captains being placed on a rotational schedule for kitchen duty for the duration of my pregnancy. This discussion also resulted in me being banned from most other chores I normally took care of. Now the only tasks I was allowed to do was my medical tasks for the Shinsengumi, since I was still the most qualified, and the laundry.


[1] Tofu with miso glaze.