All rights belong to E. L. James; story line is mines as are any additional characters therein.
We are all sitting at the table eating our dinner, Christian is feeding Olivia a pureed version of our meal, although you'd swear that her mouth had relocated to her hair; allowing him to feed her solid food is just making more work for myself but nothing gives me more joy than seeing Christian interacting with our children, especially since he reacted so badly when I got pregnant with Teddy. Speaking of unplanned babies, It's been two days since we met with Allyson at Escala, I am more sure than ever that Allyson's baby isn't Christians. I think that she was planning to wait until after she had the baby to tell Christian, she didn't account for us getting back together and she's had to change her plans.
I'm glad that we didn't ask for DNA straight away because I just think it's too convenient, she just happens to get pregnant the night I catch them at it? I mean, if it was prior to catching them she would have already given birth… no, something funny is going on and I am determined not to let it affect our marriage.
After we're all finished eating I clear the dishes whilst Christian helps Teddy with his homework. I'm still loading the dishes into the dishwasher when Christian walks up behind me and snakes his arms around my waist and nuzzles his nose in my hair.
"Oh baby, what I'd like to do to you right now." He kisses the sweet spot behind my ear and groans as he grope's my behind.
"As soon as those kids are asleep, we're going to have some precious alone time, and I'm going to make sure to use it wisely"
"I'll hold you to that Mr. Grey." I say, my voice filled with anticipation.
Teddy, Grace and Christian are watching cartoons, whilst Olivia plays on the floor. She's on her play mat with her toes in her mouth, giggling in delight at her little game. She then rolls onto her tummy and kicks her legs smiling at me and gurgling.
"DA!" she yells, getting annoyed that he isn't paying attention to her.
"Christian ..."
"What is it baby?" he says whilst he's still focused on the TV. Olivia has pushed herself up so that she's on all fours and trying to make her way across to her father, but instead of crawling forwards, she keeps scooting backwards, earning us a wail of pure frustration. Christian finally looks over at her, wondering how she got from the matt to where she is right now.
"Did she just crawl?"
"Yep, she was trying to get your attention and you were ignoring her so she decided to make her way over to you but she went backwards." I say with a giggle.
"Olivia, were you trying to get daddy?" he asks her with a big smile pasted on his face. He gets on the floor on the other side of the room and picks up one of her toys, shaking it to get her to come over to him. She rocks backwards and forwards still on all fours.
"Come on peanut, come across to daddy!" She tries again but still ends up going backwards. She gets really mad, and starts to cry - she definitely has her father's temper!
"It's okay baby, daddy's coming to get you." Christian walks over and scoops her into his arms, blowing raspberries on her cheeks.
"Daddad!"
"Yes peanut. Daddy's here." Christian looks at his watch and its 8pm which means it's the kiddo's bedtime.
"Okay guys, tidy up your toys it's time for bed..."
"Awww ... can't I just stay up for a little longer?" Teddy moans.
"No, you have school tomorrow. Bed for you little man" I say to him. He's a really good kid, throughout the time Christian and I were apart, Teddy helped me so much, especially with keeping Gracie entertained so that I wasn't stressed out. I know we'll always have a special bond between us because of this. I also know that he won't forget what Christian done, and it hurt him terribly.
"Yes Ma'am." I give him a wink and a hug.
"I love you so much Teddy bear. You're such a kind, loving boy; you'll always be my baby boy, no matter how big and grown up you get!"
"I love you too mom. I just want you to be happy." I kiss his hair and try to hold back my tears.
"Well, get your butt into the bathroom and get ready for bed, because that will make me very happy! Please remember to brush your teeth, okay?"
"Can dad tuck me in tonight?"
"Sure, you get into your PJ's and I'll get your dad."
I head into Gracie's bedroom as Christian's in the process of tucking her in.
"I love you Gracie, sleep tight baby girl"
"G'night daddy" I smile as Christian reaches over and switches her princess lamp on which casts magical patterns all around the room.
"Night sweetie, I love you." I kiss her forehead and push her out-of-control curls out of her eyes.
"Love you momma" I make sure her monitor is switched on before Christian and I leave her room, pulling her door slightly closed.
I wrap my arms around Christian's neck and kiss him on the lips
"Teddy wants you to tuck him in tonight" I say with a smile, biting my lip; which earns me a groan.
"I'll go tuck him in then. Do you fancy a bubble bath before bed?" He asks me as he kisses my neck
"Hmmm, that'll be nice. You go tuck in your mini-me and read with him, I'll get the water started."
"Mrs Grey, stop biting your lip or the kid will have to make do with tucking himself in, because I'll be busy tucking myself inside you." I slap his chest with mock disgust.
"Whoever said romance is dead?" I giggle and set off for our bathroom.
I watch Ana walk off in the direction of our bedroom. God, that delectable ass. I still can't believe that after everything with Allyson and this baby that Ana still loves and wants me here.
Yeah Grey, she shouldn't even tolerate your presence. Stop thinking about fucking her and go take care of your son.
I go into Teddy's room and sit on his bed.
"Mom said you wanted me to tuck you in champ?"
"Yeah, I just said that so that I could talk to you about something" Teddy's expression is rather grave.
"What did you want to talk to me about son?"
"About what happened with you and mom, about what was in the newspapers?"
Fuck, fuck, fuck!? What the fuck is he going to say about all this shit? I have a feeling that I am about to get a lecture from my 8 year old son.
"What about it? It's okay Teddy, you can talk to me about anything?"
"Well the big kids at school were making fun of me. They said that you didn't love us, and you didn't love mom, that you would get divorced and I'd have a new mom. Dad, I don't want a new mom! You hurt mom, I don't want you to ever hurt my mom like that again, because it was horrible. Mom spent all her time crying and I couldn't make her feel better, I really tried." he says whilst looking down at his twisted fingers, I could see tears glistening in his eyes as he bit his lip to stop it from trembling; a habit that he's picked up from Ana.
I don't even know what to say to that. What's the right thing to say? I take a deep breath and let it out, closing my eyes, trying to figure out how to explain my actions. He's right though, I hurt our family.
"Teddy I love you, you're my son. That'll never, ever change, no matter what. No one could ever make me not love you, your mom and your sisters. I'm sorry that you got picked on because of my mistakes, and you'll never know how sorry I am for hurting mommy. Sometimes ..." I'm at a loss for words. What the hell have I done? He's fucking eight years old; he shouldn't be having conversations like this!
"Sometimes, a grown-up has to lose something, before they know how precious it is and how much they need it. I love you, I love our family and I never, ever want to lose you guys again. I promise you, I'll make it up to mommy, and you. I won't let you down again, okay?" He sits up and wraps his arms around my neck, I hear him sniffling. I feel like a total shit. I am a shit; no I am a fucking shit! For the longest time I just sit there, holding onto him, I don't want to let him go.
"I love you all the way to the moon dad, and I'm glad that you're home" I laugh through my tears
"You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that." I kiss his cheek and pull his covers over him.
"Goodnight son, I love you right up to the moon, and all the way back Teddy bear" I turn his lamp off and leave the room, closing the door softly. I wipe my eyes, trying to get a handle on my emotions before going into our en suite. I can't believe Ted remembered our little bedtime routine we had when he was little. I open the door to the bathroom and Ana is sitting in our massive sunken bathtub.
"Christian, what's wrong? Why have you been crying?" I shake my head. I just feel so terrible. I strip my clothes off quickly and step into the bath, getting into position behind Ana. I wrap both arms across her and pull her into my chest, her back to my front. She holds onto me with her hands and leans her head on my arms as I kiss her neck.
"Please tell me what's wrong Christian, you remember what Logan said?" When I don't say anything she continues
"Without communication, our marriage is as good as dead? I don't want that so please talk to me? You were fine a little while ago?"
"Oh Ana, I'm so sorry. I'm just so, so sorry." I kiss her neck over and over again. She runs her fingers over my forearms, soothing me. I take a deep breath as she leans her head back onto my shoulder.
"Teddy, he asked me to tuck him in so he could talk to me about what's been happening at school. He told me about getting picked on because of what I did. How much I hurt him and you, and basically told me that he doesn't want me to ever hurt you again. Did you know that the kids at school were saying that I didn't love you, or him, that we would get a divorce and he'd have a new mom?" I hear Ana gasp, and I know he didn't tell her anything.
"He never said anything to me, I swear he didn't or I would have dealt with it. We need to make an appointment with the school and get this straightened out"
"We'll do that first thing. I really fucked everything up didn't I?"
"Christian, as much as I'd like to keep telling you how badly you've fucked up, we need to move past this, rehashing it all the time isn't going to help anything. I've forgiven you, you need to forgive yourself" I have an idea, but I don't know how to broach it, especially with how Ana feels in regards to pain.
"If I needed you to do something for me, would you do it? Because, I think I know how to get passed everything – I just don't know how you're going to feel about it?" I say as I continue to kiss her neck; I fucking love kissing her neck, it's second only to her breasts.
"What is it?" She asks, already suspicious.
"Baby, do you remember the night we got back together, you told me to be ready and waiting for you in the bedroom, but when you came in, I wasn't how I was supposed to be?" I ask, trying to ease into this conversation.
"Yeah, I wanted to see you on your knees" She giggle-snorts
"The reason I didn't strip and sit how I was supposed to was because I needed and wanted you to punish me physically Ana. I think if you punish me for what I've done to you, for hurting you and our children; I'll be able to move past it, once and for all" She instantly tenses and I wait and wait for her response. I can almost hear her heart racing and imagine her eyes to be frozen wide with panic. She slowly turns in my arms and takes a hold of my face in her hands.
"Baby, that isn't a good idea for us. I know that you're scared of everything that is going on right now but remember what Dr Logan said… she said that you need to find new coping mechanisms, and exclude all extreme aspects of the BDSM lifestyle. Christian I love you, sure it's fun to role play sexually but I'm not Elena – and I never will be so you're going to have to come to terms with this some other way"
"You're right, I'm sorry"
"Don't be sorry, this is how you've coped for the last twenty years. Changing lifelong patterns isn't going to happen overnight. I just wish that you would get it through your head that I love you and our family more than anything else and that we're going to get through this, I promise"
"What if it's mine Ana, will we get through that?" I ask, cutting to the heart of the fear I've been feeling. Her face falls and a haunted expression takes a hold of her eyes.
"I don't know" She whispers and my world stops spinning and fear grips my heart. She takes a deep breath and kisses my lips softly "But I hope that we will because I love you, and I know what it's like to live without you, and I don't want to live like that again" I slide my hands into her wet hair and seal my mouth over hers, kissing her with deep reverence, with passion and love. Ana is the only person that I ever want and need; like I need air to breathe and can't survive without.
"Ana, when are your parent's coming to visit?" I ask, she's moaning as I massage shampoo into her scalp
"Shit, I completely forgot… they're going to be here on Wednesday. I hope you have your running shoes looked out Christian" I pause my ministrations on her scalp and gape at her
"Okay, that was a bad joke, I'm sorry" She giggles at me and I groan
"Your fucking father is going to shoot me, probably in the balls"
"He is not, stop being so melodramatic! If he's going to shoot you it will be in the temple at point blank range, probably with a silencer and no doubt I'll have to help him dispose of your body like the last time!" My eyes widen and my jaw pops open. I can't believe she just said that.
Your temple better hope she's joking Grey 'cause otherwise you're fucked!
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I couldn't resist – it was too good an opportunity to pass up" She giggles again whilst trying to wriggle out of my hold.
"I'll get you back for that one Mrs Grey" I let her go and splash water at her as she rinses the shampoo out of her hair
"Come, you're getting pruney" I bide my time, and as she steps out of the bath water and reaches for the towel, I land a ringing slap right on her wet butt cheek, my palm is ringing in pain and I smirk
"OW!" She yelps rubbing her sore spot.
"I love you baby" I smile lovingly and she shakes her head at me.
"I'll get you back when you least expect it Mr Grey"
"I have no doubt that you will baby, and I look forward to it"
We get dried off and turn down the covers and slide into bed. Ana lies on her front, resting her chin on my chest.
"I love you!" She whispers walking her fingers over my abs, down past my navel and stopping right beside where my skin meets the duvet and slips them under and continues her journey south. I close my eyes and moan deep in my throat when she reaches her destination, her hand wraps around me tightly and smoothly pumps up and down, and up and down at a slow, measured pace.
"Ana, shit! That feels so good" I moan, she peppers kisses on my chest and I open my eyes to meet hers. I place my hand over hers and stop her from moving up and down my length.
"What's wrong baby?" She asks, peaking up at me through her thick and lush lashes. I remove her hand and flip her on her back, placing my body over hers, pressing her into the mattress as I hold her hands above her head with one of mine and use the other hand to hold her chin. I kiss her soft lips and my tongue traces around them, asking for access and she opens up her mouth and thrusts her tongue along mine until we break apart panting.
"I love you so much Ana, I really want to fuck you hard and fast just how you like it baby" I stroke my hand from the side of her face all the way down her neck, following the contours of her curves and finally settling on her hip.
"Are you ready baby? I bet you are so ready" I say with a smirk, stroking my nose along hers. I slowly trail my fingers to find her sex and gently circle her clitoris then insert my two middle fingers into her sex, pressing the heel of my hand against her stiff peak.
"You are so fucking ready Mrs Grey" I start to pump my fingers in and out and using the heel of my hand to brush against her clitoris, creating the delicious friction that she loves.
"Mmm! Christian, that feels so good! Oooh" I moans and pants and my smile gets wider as I move further down the bed and take her strained nipple in my mouth, sucking sharply and biting with my teeth
"Fuck! Christian, oh please?"
"What is it baby?"
"I need you" She starts to stiffen and I feel her begin to quiver and I still all stimulation. I position myself with one hand and thrust sharply inside her in one swift move
"Ahhh" She says whilst arching her back, pushing those delicious breasts against my chest.
"Sweet jesus you are so tight, and warm, and wet and just fucking delectable. These breasts" I grab both of them, pushing them together and then bury my face in them, placing gentle kisses and wet bites all over her wonderful nipples "Fed my babies; provided their food and sustenance and they've also provide me a great deal of pleasure, like they're doing right now" I look up at Ana with pure carnal need and her chest is heaving showing her height of arousal. I pull back and slam into her again; I continue thrusting hard and fast, ramming my cock deep inside her, her answering groans tell me that she fucking loves it!
"Ahhhh" Ana moans as her neck arches and I take the opportunity so leave kisses all over it.
"I also love your neck baby, I love kissing and sucking on it, just looking at it gets me hard as a rock!"
"Christian, please baby!" I rear back and continue my unrelenting rhythm, I reach down and start to work over her clitoris, rubbing and massaging it quickly.
"Shit, don't stop – yes, right there!" I feel her walls start to quiver around me, hugging me and enveloping me with their warmth and I know she'll fall over the edge any second, I grab her hips and lift them up for me
"Come for me baby" I apply solid pressure to her clit and thrust into her as we both explode together.
"I love you Christian"
"I love you too baby" I say and kiss the tip of her nose; I pull out of her and start to massage her shoulders. After a few moments she lets out a long yawn and I smile lovingly at her.
"I think you're well and truly fucked Mrs Grey and in need of some R&R!"
"I think for once, that I shall agree with you on both counts; you're pretty fucked yourself darling" I chuckle at her adorable tired expression.
"Turn onto your side baby" I say quietly, moving her hair to kiss her neck and shoulder. She turns around and snuggles under the duvet as I pull her against my chest and lay my head right next to hers.
"Sleep tight baby, I love you always"
"And I you Christian" I close my eyes with my nose in her hair and inhale deeply, it's not long before I drift into a peaceful sleep
Reference: 'I love you to the moon' quote is from 'Guess how much I love you' by Sam McBratney.
A/N: This was just a little filler chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it! Poor Teddy needed to get that off his chest! I just want to take this little opportunity to ask you if you'd like Allyson's point of view again, because some people didn't like it the last time so I figured I'd ask and see what you guys think…
How do you think Christian will handle the Carla & Ray situation; especially Ray because of what he did to Ana whilst she was pregnant… what do you think Ray is going to say or do about CG?
If you have a good suggestion I might just add it to the story; credit will be given obviously lol!
I thank you for all your wonderful reviews… I still can't believe the level of success this story has got, in the words of lizlemonnumber2: 'That's crazy sauce!' Oh and sorry for the massive Authors note, yet again lol .
With Mucho love
-Susie. xoxo
