Chapter 54

As she verbally assaults me a keep reminding myself to stay calm, ice in the veins Ana.

"Well if it isn't the self-righteous Miss Steele."

"What do you want Elena?" Ice in the veins.

"I am here to see Christian."

"Not gonna happen."

"You really think you can keep me from him?"

"I can and I will." Ice in the veins.

She tries to push past me and I grab her arm. I have enough shit to deal with right now if she thinks I will not physically take her down she is sorely mistaken.

"I am going to see him Anastasia, you cannot stop me. I know he will want to see me."

Her venom is just rising to the surface.

"Elena I mean what I say. You will go nowhere near him and if you try I will have you physically removed."

"Ha! I would like to see that. You are as spirited as ever Miss Steele. What are you so afraid of, that he may see me and never want to see you again?"

Her words hit like a dagger to my heart. I keep my face impassive. I will not give this woman the satisfaction. I know she doesn't know about his memory loss. She is just grasping at straws.

I laugh it off. "You could only hope Elena. I wouldn't let you within 10 feet of that man. Not because I am afraid I may lose him, but because it is a courtesy I would pay to any victim."

"Victim, Christian is in no way a victim. I made sure of that."

I keep my voice low and steady. "I know exactly what you made sure of and it will be over my dead body that you ever get near him. You are a poisonous bitch that is only out for her own gain. You have proved that over and over. Christian has finally seen you for who you are and I will not allow you to use your abuse to get your claws back into him."

"How dare you say I abused him, he needed me then and he needs me now."

"Needed you, ha, he never needed you. The fact is you saw a scared boy and took advantage. It took what 6 years to groom him?"

"How dare you. You know nothing about him."

"Funny thing Elena, I know everything about him. He shared everything with me. Your six years of grooming and 6 years of keeping him under your wicked spell was broken, by me, in a little over a month. So if he needs anyone it is me. I am done with this conversation and you will either leave or I will have you thrown out."

"This is far from over."

"I am sure it isn't. You don't scare me in the least you pathetic, old hag."

She lunges to slap me, but someone catches her hand before she can get to me. It's Grace. I hope she didn't hear all of the conversation. I believe she deserves to know what this woman did to her son, but not like this. He needs to be the one to tell her.

"Elena, how dare you raise your hand to my son's future wife."

Her eyes widen. Take that bitch. She doesn't have to know that he doesn't remember me. Grace continues.

"I have called security. Either you leave on your own or I will have you removed."

Elena glares at me one last time and then turns and leaves. I am emotionally worn out. I wait until she is safely out of sight and hearing range, then I collapse in Grace's arms.

"Ana sweetie, I have no idea what that was all about, but I know Elena can be hard to deal with. I am trying to trust that you know best. I can't help but think it might have been easier to let her see him."

"No Grace she cannot see him. I can't tell you why, but you have to trust that she can't go anywhere near him, especially right now." I am begging her to just trust me.

"Okay Ana, as you wish. I know you want the best for Christian and I will trust your motives."

"Thank you Grace." I hug her tight.

"You are welcome. I came to get you. Christian asked to see you."

My stomach does a backflip. Does this mean he is starting to remember? I quickly call Taylor to get him on guard up here explaining that Elena is trying to see Christian. He is all too happy to oblige my request assuring me that she will not get past him. I breathe a sigh of relief, wipe my face and enter the room.

"Grace said you wanted to see me." His eyes are not as glazed as earlier. I take this as a good sign.

"Did I hear Elena?"

Shit. I tried to keep my voice down, but she was yelling at me. How is he going to handle this? I get a lump in my throat.

"Yes." I answer honestly. "She wanted to see you." I hope he doesn't lose it.

"You didn't let her in though?"

"No. If it was up to me she would never come near you again."

"She is my friend. You have no right to keep her out."

He's getting angry and I know I will have to be very careful. "Did Flynn tell you that you cut her out of your life?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I will have to continue our story for you to understand. If you're tired it can wait."

"No I want to know. I asked if I took you to the playroom. Did I?"

"Yes. Let me tell you a few things that led up to that." I don't let him answer I just talk. I go over how he came to my apartment because he couldn't get me out of his mind. How I gave him my virginity.

"I chased you? I took your virginity? These are things I would never do."

"But you did and it was amazing. You were so caring and gentle. It was beautiful. You explained how you didn't do vanilla sex, but you are wonderful at vanilla sex."

I continue on to the Coping Dinner and the evening after when he shared his abuse with me. How I confessed my love and he said he would hurt me.

"This is when you took me to the playroom." I keep going giving all the details. He hit me, I took it, I turned and asked if he felt better then left. In the meantime, he got rid of his canes, belts and whips. That same night he let me touch him and I have been doing it ever since. I spare no detail and I can see his eyes lighting up a little. I place my hand on his as the electricity flows over our skin.

"I know you feel this. The electric current that occurs when we touch, can I kiss you?"

"What you say is so out of character for me. This does not seem like something I would forget. I am very attracted to you, so I know there must be something between us. Why can't I remember?"

I lean down and kiss him softly. God I have missed those lips on me. My knees get weak. His hand comes behind my hair and cups the back of my head pressing me in for a deeper kiss. I break away first, breathless, not wanting to hurt him. I really wanted to climb on top of the bed and have his arms around me. It is too soon physically for him and emotionally for me. He needs to remember more.

"Well that was unexpected."

"I told you, pure magic." I smile. I decide to have Flynn come by today and back up my story.

"You haven't answered my question about Elena."

"Our story is complicated. I'm getting to it, be patient." Who am I kidding? This is Christian, the Christian before New York. I have more patience in my little finger than he possesses in his entire body.

I just talk fast not giving him a chance to reprimand me. I continue to when Elena showed up unannounced and we had a confrontation.

"Wait. Elena just showed up. She didn't call me?"

"No she just came over early the morning after the Coping Dinner. You were in the shower and I was making breakfast. She forced her way past me when I told her you weren't available. We got into a war of words and then she slapped me."

"She what?"

"She slapped me. You saw it and kicked her out."

"I am livid right now. I don't understand why I feel this way. I want to call and rip her a new one right now."

I smile inside. He doesn't realize why, but I do. He loves me and he would destroy anyone who tried to hurt me. I hope the emotions will continue to flow as I replay everything for him. He may not remember me, but deep down he can't deny our connection. I just keep going. I tell him about running into Charlotte at the drug store. I tell him from my point of view. I don't need him reacting badly again. Then I get to the day, the day that changed everything. It was the worst day of my life at the time. Now I see it as the catalyst to our happiness. I don't think Christian would have changed so quickly and drastically without this event. A peace comes over me and I know I can finally put that day behind me. I wish that the circumstances right now were different, but Christian proved in New York how much he loved me and this little blip in our history is just that, a blip. I can tell by his expression that he is confused.

"What did Elena tell me about you when I went to her?"

"I don't really know all the details. I gather that she convinced you that I was trying to trap you by getting pregnant. She sees me as a money grubbing weakling that isn't good enough for you."

"But you weren't pregnant?"

"No Christian I wasn't and I didn't want to be." I continue telling him how he found out the truth from his mother. That is the point that he cut Elena off. He knew she wasn't looking out for his best interest she just wanted to control him. She thought if she could control him that he would go back to his old way of life.

"You really should talk to Flynn about this. He will be better able to fill in the details. I had already left for New York and I didn't talk to you again for 2 weeks. You talked to Flynn a lot during that time. Do you want me to have him come by today?"

"Yes. I feel like I am living in the twilight zone. None of this sounds like me."

"I know Christian. I wish I could just snap my fingers and you would have all of your memories back. They are wonderful and I know even I won't be able to do them justice. This is very hard for me too. I miss you. I ache for you. I want so badly for this to just a bad dream." I tear up and I see the concern in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Ana. I can tell you care for me. I hate that I hurt you. I think you need to go now. I am really tired."

I know he is trying to hide his feelings so I agree. I can't push him. I will make sure Flynn comes by later.

"Okay Christian. I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep good, I love you. I know you don't right now and its okay but I still love you and I won't deny that."

His eyes soften and I turn away and walk out. I call John. He assures me he will be there within the hour. I cry all the way back to Escala. Another night of crying myself to sleep, tonight I am at least blessed with pleasant dreams of Christian and our time in New York.