Chapter 50 and back to lighter events (Or at least light for this story). This is gonna be a bit of a grind to get through but bear with me here, I promise not to make any fluff last too long; that stuff gets kinda boring after the first 2000 words.
Louise was dead.
Henrietta stared at the list she held in her hands, eyes boring holes into the parchment, "I...I must be dreaming..." Her hands shook, resisting the urge to crush the paper and burn it with fire. Erasing the names of the fallen wouldn't undo their deaths.
It had been days since the end of the war, and it had been utter chaos...well, chaotic enough that she still couldn't completely fathom the entire sequence of events. Ships had arrived en masse to the ports dotting Tristain, each overflowing with refugees and soldiers. She'd been utterly confused when they'd first arrived; the last report the generals had given her told only of good things. How had they gone from defeating the Albionese fleet and successfully taking the port town to running back to Tristain with half the army dead.
According to the survivors, the reason was 'They started fucking eating each other!' along with a few more incoherent ramblings about 'Damn humming in my ears!' and 'Tristain can go to helhem!'.
The commanders provided a (slightly) more sensible explanation. Near as she could tell from their aggrandizing reports (which contained no small amount of recollection for the 'bravery and valor' they exhibited), it all started with a quite literal humming. All of them confirmed that they had heard the same thing, and shortly thereafter it became almost deafening. At that point people started going mad, killing and quite literally eating one another. A few of the other commanding officers had succumbed as well, and less than half of them had returned from Albion.
Her first thoughts were of her closest friend. She didn't bother thinking on how 'selfish' it was of her and simply asked them outright where 'The Void Mage' was. They looked unsure, each pointing fingers at who had seen her last, before finally telling her that they had lost track of her and that they were sure she would arrive on one of the ships designated for the other ports.
And yet even as more ships arrived, her best friend never came.
She had lied to herself, assuaged her troubled thoughts by claiming that Louise had simply gone to visit her family first or that she was taking her time to come back due to her no doubt harrowing experiences. Even as the days passed and Gallia came bearing news of their sudden assistance her best friend's absence always plagued her mind. Of course she was glad that the war hadn't been a total disaster, but Alsanna's musings caused her to more and more doubt that it was ever worth it.
Cromwell was dead, at least that was ensured. Burnt and unrecognizable corpses were all that remained of his palace by the time Gallia's fleet had finished its attack and much as she would have liked mounting his head on a pike and parading it before his followers she would have to settle with him being lost to history. As disastrous as the entire war had been, she could at least take comfort in their victory.
That was, of course, until Cardinal Mazarin had given her the list of the dead.
It was a sobering reminder, even if the list wasn't complete. Thousands dead. All of them had names, many had families and friends and now they were dead. At best she could comfort herself with the knowledge that most of them were mercenaries or Gemanians, that they entered into the conflict that their lives would be forfeit. They had made their choice, she didn't force them with the tip of her wand to give up their lives to sate her desire for revenge.
Those cold comforts lasted until she saw the name at the bottom of the list.
"No...No..." She closed her eyes and tried to will away her tears. This was a nightmare. It was nothing but her guilt playing tricks on her. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes once more.
'Louise Francoise Le Blanc de La Valliere'
The name was still written there. Mocking her, reminding her that her actions had consequences. She'd announced this war for her people, or at least that's what she liked telling herself. In the end it wasn't the death of her citizens or their profaning of Brimir's holy doctrine that spurned her to war, but the death of her beloved Wales. She was prepared to put herself at risk, give her very life so long as Cromwell died screaming.
As a child she'd read books, many of them philosophical. Before she'd taken them to be nothing more than insouciant ramblings, meaningless words cobbled together to form a facsimile of wisdom. She remembered one that always made her laugh: 'Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves'. When she was younger she saw it as nothing but airy musing - Heroes always took revenge in the tales and they were never punished for it. If someone slighted you was it not your right to slight them back in equal measure?
A life had been paid, but it wasn't hers.
"Haa...Haa..." She took deep, gasping breaths and let the paper fall onto the table. She wanted to cry, to scream that it was her fault and that she should have paid that price instead.
But she knew that it would accomplish nothing. Her beloved hadn't come back when she prayed and neither would her best friend. She clenched her hands and bit her lower lip; the guilt was crushing, almost overpowering her desire to compose herself. She had to keep in control, make sure the mask didn't crack. She was a Queen, and she wouldn't follow in her mother's footsteps when father had died. She would...She would...
She cried. The mask broke and all that remained was Henrietta, a young woman who wore a crown that ill-fitted her. No doubt anyone outside her room could hear her lack of composure but no one came inside, unwilling to deal with the emotional Queen. No doubt the esteemed Cardinal had told them to expect such a shameful display and to give her the time she needed.
All but collapsing on the desk, she used her arms to cover her face and sobbed openly. A voice at the back of her mind quickly reminder her that her desk was filled with important papers but she ignored it. She would take their scolding and judgement later.
It wasn't long before she felt a slight chill engulf the room. Keeping her head down, she continued to shed her tears even as the soft footsteps drew nearer. Alsanna was there, she knew that, but she didn't care. It wasn't as if the 'Child of Dark' would judge her.
She paused briefly as she felt a hand running through her hair. The fingers were cold and yet she still felt a sense of comfort from them all the same. Taking a deep breath, she bit back her cries and raised her head to greet the ghostly woman, clumsily wiping away her tears in the process.
"...Henrietta-" She didn't get the chance to say anything before the monarch wrapped her arms around waist and pressed her head against her stomach. The Queen continued to cry, letting out choked words that she couldn't understand. At best she could tell there were apologies and admissions of guilt, though that came more from the way her soul screamed than the way she herself vocalized her worries.
Wordlessly, Alsanna pressed her arms against her back and hummed a nameless song. It...wasn't the first time she'd comforted a monarch when their troubles had broken them.
They stayed that way for a moment longer before Henrietta finally allowed herself to release the older woman. Her eyes were puffy and a few tears still poured from her bloodshot orbs, but she did her best to regain her composure. Alsanna could do nothing but offer her a comforting smile, one that seemed to have at least a slight effect given the way the young woman forced a smile in turn.
"I...my apologies, Lady Alsanna..." She wiped away the few tears that remained and took another deep breath, "It's just...I have-"
"I am no stranger to tragedy, Henrietta." The pale woman interrupted, her voice soft, "It is not a weakness to show sadness at the passing of loved ones." She traced her fingers through the tear-stained list. Despite the thousands of deaths not all of them had been recorded; nobles, high ranking officials, those who had influential families who would want certainty. Even in death some were worth more than others.
"Well...thank you, I suppose." She shook her head, "But...it's my fault. I was the one who-"
"Tell me about it. From the beginning."
And so she talked. Of her short-lived romance with Wales, of his death, of his 'resurrection', of how she used her close friend for as a tool for her own revenge and how she had been forced to pay the price in her stead. Alsanna...listened. She didn't judge her, neither condemning or condoning her actions. A part of her wanted her to blame her, to punish her so she didn't have to punish herself.
"We care about those closer to us. It is only human," Alsanna muttered, "I mourn all the knights that gave their lives to Old Chaos, but my grief will always be greater when I remember my King." She looked away, "Your friend, this 'Louise', she will hold a place in your heart always. Even as the years pass the pain the never truly disappears, but we carry it with us and continue on. As have I, now so will you."
"That's not very comforting." She pursed her lips and frowned.
"Apologies. It has been...many years since I have talked with another."
"It's not your fault." She sighed. Now she felt even worse, "It's just...my best friend is gone. Agnes and the others will tell me that it's not my fault, that I wasn't the one who 'pulled the trigger' so to speak, but she wouldn't have gotten involved if I didn't force her. I used my friendship to ensure her compliance." Her eyes began to sting again. She pinched her leg to keep herself focused, "And now she's gone. Her family will no doubt wish to know and we don't even have her body to mourn..."
"...She was your closest friend?"
"My best friend," Henrietta affirmed, "She was the one who saved me from my 'predestined role' of leaving my kingdom." She laughed bitterly, "If she hadn't done that she'd still be alive now. ...Did you know, when we were younger we didn't actually like one another?"
"Truly?"
"Yes, at first I absolutely hated her in fact," She continued, "She'd been assigned as my royal playmate and she was so shy back then. Young as I was I mistook her embarrassment for dislike and grew to resent her. Every 'play date' we had always ended with the both of us on the other sides of the room playing with dolls and not speaking to one another. I'm not even sure if her family knew what our time was like or they didn't consider it enough to worry about."
"A misunderstanding then."
"Looking back on it now it seemed so obvious, but pig-headed as I was as a child I refused to see." She steepled her hands together and gave her a crooked smile, "After days of silence I finally became fed up with it. I took her dolls whenever she played with them, and as soon as she took a liking to a new one I took that as well. It was petty of me to do so, but I wanted her to...I'm not sure, scream at me. For her to do something; anything was better than that awkward silence."
Alsanna smiled, silently urging her continue.
"Well, I got my wish. After the sixth or seventh doll Louise finally screamed at me, calling me...what was it? 'A giant meanie!'." She laughed slightly, "We started arguing back and forth...I'd lost track of long we'd gone at it before Lady Eleanor finally came to check up on the commotion. When she saw the mess we made..." She shivered, "We were forced to kneel for hours, Lady Eleanor yelling at us all the while. By that point we'd forgotten what it was we were arguing about and just clung to one another out of fear. At the end of it we were just so happy to still be alive that we promised to make up if it meant she wouldn't yell at us anymore."
"Many friendships had started from worse circumstances," Alsanna said.
"After that...well, we simply started talking and the rest is history." Her gaze shifted back the list and she again resisted the urge to tear it in half, "Now she's dead, all because I wanted revenge and pressured her into it. I..."
"I cannot say it was not your fault...I do not know your circumstances." Alsanna patted her back, "Take responsibility or not, the choice is yours. Simply know that by fate or chance she saved you from your pre-destined end, and you can choose what this means."
"I..thank you. Now is not the time for self-pity, I know." She took a blank piece of parchment and quill, "I have to write...tell the Duke and Duchess what has transpired. They need to know...and I would rather tell them myself rather than-"
The door opened with a sudden crash. Dropping her quill she sat up straight in her seat and watched with wide eyes as Agnes bound into the room, her posture as rigid as ever. In her hands she held a sealed envelope emblazoned with the Albion royal seal.
"Agnes...what are you doing here?" She turned her head to the side and stiffened as she caught sight of Alsanna standing there frozen like a statue. The dark haired woman looked between the Queen and the Knight before mouthing something to her wordlessly.
"Apologies for my rudeness, Your Grace." She bowed, "Cardinal Mazarin informed me that this was an urgent missive and to give it to you as soon as possible." She placed the envelope on the desk, ignoring the tear-stained papers, "I knocked as well. Multiple times in fact. You did not answer back and as much as I respect your privacy I am afraid the Cardinal was adamant you receive this with no delays."
"Huh...of course." Her eyes were still focused on the child of Dark, 'Leave now before she sees you! Right now before she notices!', she silently pleaded.
"Your Majesty, is something wrong?" Before Henrietta could stop her Agnes turned her head to look at where she was focusing her attention on. Henrietta closed her eyes and winced; this was it, how was she going to explain this? Perhaps she could simply tell her the truth? Agnes might accept it; after all she didn't seem all that surprised when they'd found out about the existence of Vampires working for the crown.
A tense pause passed before Agnes turned to look back at her.
"...Um, my apologies your highness but is there something in particular about that wall that bothers you?"
Henrietta's eyes widened and looked again - There Alsanna was, standing in her barely-clothed glory, and Agnes completely ignored her. Once again Alsanna mouthed something to her and she forced herself to look back at her friend.
"Um...no, I just...didn't want you to see me in such a state." She winced. While it was technically true - she didn't relish Agnes catching sight of her tear-stained face - it didn't make it any less embarrassing to use as an excuse.
"Oh..." The knight appeared unsure with how to respond. In the end she made do with muttering a quick apology and bowing before hurriedly leaving the room and closing the door behind her.
"..Perfect..." She pressed her face into her hands and groaned. It was petty of her all things considered, but that was not how she wanted Agnes to see her.
That wasn't even getting to Alsanna.
"...I knew I was just imagining things." She let out a frustrated laugh, her gaze hardening as she looked at the older woman, "Agnes didn't see you...so I can only assume that you're not really here and I've dreamt you up in all my insanity." She laughed frustatedly, "I'm not even surprised. I mean I haven't exactly been the paragon of sanity these past few months and-"
Alsanna slapped her.
"...What-"
"Calm yourself." Her tone was slightly apologetic. She let Henrietta rub her cheek before continuing, "You are not imagining me. I simply made myself invisible to her."
"What- How?"
"Humanity." She twirled her fingers briefly, "My sisters and I...we can manipulate those who possess shards of the Dark Soul if they are vulnerable enough. My control is weak, but if they are not aware of my presence before I could make it so that they cannot perceive me even as I stand next to them." She walked off, seemingly vanishing from her sight, before returning with what appeared to be a helmet. She recognized it as the one the palace guards wore, "Compared to the rest of my sisters my abilities are weak."
"If that is how you define weakness then I dread to see an example of strength." She sighed, trying to ignore the gnawing depression trying to eat at her. She had to focus. Opening the sealed envelope she scanned the contents and pursed her lips as she finished reading, "They've given a date and venue for the peace treaties." She let the parchment fall, "Next week, in one of Albion's...less ravaged cities. I suppose setting it there is an attempt to reinforce their surrender."
"Any peace, even a reluctant one, is preferable to war."
"I know that." She chewed on her lower lip, "It's just...I'm disinclined to going to the country where my best friend and beloved died." She knew her prince had died twice, but she was trying not to think about that, "Not to mention all these rumors of people going mad, of dark beasts routing the army in Saxe-Gotha...you can understand my fears for going at such a place."
"...I have become uneasy as well," Alsanna admitted, "Not too long ago it felt as if...a part of me died." She looked away, "I have heard the screams from the sea of Darkness, but this is...something else entirely." She trudged over to the window before looking back at her, "I will return when you come back from these 'peace talks'. With luck we will have more to discuss-"
"Ah, wait!" Henrietta sat up abruptly, "Do you...want to come with me?" Alsanna stared back at her silently, eyebrows knotting. She suddenly felt self-conscious, "It was merely an invitation, Lady Alsanna. I am not forcing you to go."
"Thank you, but I wish to decline," She replied. Henrietta did her best to not appear too dismayed, "You have nothing to fear, Henrietta. I will be here when you return."
"Of course..." She nodded and watched her leave before another thought came to mind, "...Out of curiosity, what exactly is it that you do in-between visits?"
Alsanna smiled, almost teasing in a way, before giving her reply, "Perhaps it is best we not discuss it as of now."
"But-"
"Farewell." She could only let out a half-formed 'wait' before the woman jumped from the window and disappeared from her sight.
In the forests of Albion, far from any pockets of civilization, a collection of cabins and shacks stood. Given their close placement to one another one could be forgiven for thinking that it was a village, but the seeming lack of adults dispelled any notion of that. A few children played, others contented themselves with chores, but they all had smiles on their faces regardless.
Inside the largest cabin a young woman stood in the kitchen, a smile playing at her lips as she cooked something over the fire. There were still a few hours before lunchtime but their...guest had begun to stir from his slumber, "I hope he's alright..." She deftly cut the vegetables and mixed them into the soup. She had to admit that a part of her wondered if bringing him here had been all for naught. For days he had been sleeping, almost deathly still even when they treated him to the best of their abilities.
She looked worriedly to the closed door. The last time she checked on him he had gotten better...well, better in that he actually mumbled something she couldn't make out. Still, it was better than his almost corpse-like stillness when they'd first brought him here.
Inside the room a young man slept on the bed, his expression pained. Bandaged arms moved faintly, fingers clenching and opening, before he stilled. Days he had spent here, almost unresponsive to the treatments. Everything was hazy; he vaguely recalled the children hovering over him, wondering aloud if he was still alive. One of them had pressed his fingers against his necks and yelled when he couldn't feel the pulse of a heartbeat.
A sudden burst of pain nearly caused him to scream. Eyes opening in a rush, he abruptly sat up and let out a pained groan, "Ah...son of a..." His right hand pressed against his left shoulder while his left wrapped itself around his stomach. Biting his lower lip, he breathed raggedly and tried to stop himself from whimpering. Perfect, the his first moment of lucidity in Gods only knew how long and he was already in crippling pain.
"Wh...Where am I?" He looked around the room through bleary, bloodshot eyes. The room was basic, almost picturesque with its simplicity. Apart from the bed there was nothing in the small space apart from a table and some chairs off to the side. To his left was a large window barely covered with a pair of pale curtains. Given the sunlight streaming into the room he could only assume that it was still early in the morning.
How long had he been 'asleep'? Shaking his head he forced himself to stand and immediately fell flat on his face.
"...Should've seen that coming." He sighed. Thankfully his wounds didn't reopen. Taking another deep breath, he grabbed onto the edges of the bed and slowly managed to pull himself up, "Come on..." He forced his hands to stop shaking and reluctantly let go of the bed once he finally managed to stand up to his full height.
...Was he always this short? Something felt...off about this.
Well he had a massive headache, he felt like vomiting and he had no idea where he was...but on the bright side he was actually awake and standing. He had to take the bright spots where he could, right?
"Oh Gods..." He used a free hand to cover his mouth. Wherever this place he didn't want to ruin whatever good will he had by vomiting on the bed. Trudging over to the window, he desperately pushed open the bindings and expelled a putrid mix of dark and red liquids. It tasted foul in his mouth, a mixture of copper and something disgustingly sweet dancing in his tongue.
Well, that was disgusting.
Wiping his mouth, he panted and tried to stop his dizziness. Alright, think: He had no idea what he was doing here, why he ended up in that forest in the first place or who exactly had brought him here to treat his wounds.
Perfect, he was absolutely fucked.
The door to the room opening nearly caused him to jump. As it stood he made do with holding onto the window like his life depended on it in order to stop himself from falling. Turning around, he caught sight of a young woman entering the room, both hands holding onto a tray of food. Looking up through her wide-brimmed hat her eyes widened and she offered him an uneasy smile.
"Oh, you're awake!" She rushed to the table and set down the tray before offering him a hand, "Um...I don't mean to be rude but you shouldn't be standing up yet. Your wounds haven't healed and we don't want them to reopen."
He looked down at her offered hand before reluctantly accepting. If she wanted to kill him then she had the perfect chance to do so in that forest. He supposed he could afford to give out his trust, "Uh...thank you..." He sat on the bed and pointedly ignored the cramping pain on his ass. He'd already embarrassed himself enough in front of her, "Um...I...well, I should thank you again for rescuing me, Dusk." The name came to him suddenly.
"Dusk?" She tilted her head to the side before giggling. It was cute, "That's not my name." She pressed a hand against her voluminous chest, "My name is Tiffania. What's your name?"
"I...don't know." She looked briefly confused before a look of pity crossed her face, "Ah...please don't look at me like that. It's not that bad." He forced a soft laugh, "I'm alive and I'm not in as much pain as I could be. It's pretty good all things considered."
"The children and I found you in the forest," She continued, "Do you...remember what you were doing there?" He shook his head and she frowned slightly, "There have been a lot of soldiers around here lately because of the war. Usually I would heal their wounds and send them on their way but..." She reached out and touched his shoulder gently. It hurt, but he made no move to protest, "Your wounds were severe and even the ring only allowed me to stop you from bleeding."
"Where exactly are we?" He asked.
"We're in my home..." He gave her a flat stare and she wilted, "Sorry, but big sis insists that we not tell anyone who comes here. It's...supposed to be a secret."
"I can't fault you considering you saved my life." He smiled softly, "Just...could you tell me where this land is? I have no idea and I'd like at least a general idea of where we are."
"Oh, I suppose that's alright." She clapped her hands together, "We're in the country of Albion."
"...Albion?" That...didn't ring any bells.
"Um, yes. Albion." She nodded, "I...thought you were one of the soldiers in the war. All of those that wander here with injuries tend to be soldiers from either side."
"War? What war?" He rubbed his forehead. There was a light buzzing at the back of his mind but nothing else, "I...really don't remember anything specific before waking up in that forest. Apologies, I don't mean to be a burden-"
"Oh, it's no trouble." She waved her hands and giggled again. He felt a slight flush on his cheeks; hopefully she wouldn't notice. He watched as she picked up the tray before bringing it to the bedside, "You must be hungry. We tried our best to feed you while you were sleeping but all we managed to give were water and some soups."
"I'm...not that hungry, actually." He admitted. The reason escaped him, though if he had to guess his body was simply focused on the pain over everything else. Besides, he couldn't exactly eat properly with his bandaged hands.
"You don't have to be embarrassed." She picked up the spoon and dipped it in the stew before offering it to him, "Here, say ahh~"
Of course he obeyed. She'd treated him with kindness and spitting in the face of her hospitality would have been extremely rude. This was...nice. He didn't say it out loud, but he appreciated the gesture. Still, best he keep quiet; he didn't want to give her the impression of being some kind of spoiled brat. As soon as his wounds healed he would pay back her kindness tenfold.
He waited for her to finish putting away the bowl before speaking again, "Thank you for saving me again." She offered him a smile and he laughed stupidly. Gods he was an idiot, "Um...I hate to ask, but was there anything else nearby where you found me? Maybe it could give me a clue to-"
"Oh, of course!" Before he could say anything else she all but rushed out of the room. He briefly debated following after her before she came back, carrying a somewhat oversized sword in her hands.
"...It's a sword." He raised an eyebrow, "I...remember being stabbed in the stomach with a sword but that doesn't really-"
"Hey partner, how's it going- Woah, you look different!" This time he actually did jump; an action he quickly regretted as he nearly fell off the bed in his shock, "I mean, I knew remaking your body would mean some differences but damn, I don't even recognize you!" The sword clicked excitedly, "Well at least you don't look like that priest any more, but damn I didn't think it'd be this bad!"
"Um...what?"
"Sir. Derflinger was next to you when we found," supplied Tiffania, "He insisted that you were his 'partner' and that we take him with us."
"...Partner?" He looked back at the sword.
"Yep, your partner!" He stared at him blankly, "Uh, come on, partner, what's with the weird look? Come on, don't tell me you forgot about the ever-lovable sword that's been with you through thick and thin! I mean I was there with you and pinky all the way!"
Another blank stare.
"Ah...crap, I was wondering if this would actually happen." He nudged himself out of his sheath, "Hey, girl, could we get a little bit of privacy? We're gonna be talking about some really personal stuff."
"Hm? Oh, of course." Tiffania bowed to the blade before making her way out of the room. He wanted to call out to her, to implore her to stay, but curiosity on the sword's knowledge kept him quiet.
Derflinger waited a second for the door to close before turning his attention back to him, "So lets get straight to the point: How much do you remember?"
"Not much in all honesty." He shrugged, "I mean, I remember some general things like what Oolacilians, Humans and Gods are. I know what a sword is." He pointed at him, "But anything more specific is a blank. I don't even remember my own name."
"Shit, I knew there was a chance of this happening." He sighed, "Sealing that fucker back inside it...well, it broke your mind into little pieces." He laughed at the 'joke', "Hel, you're lucky you still have a dick! ...You do have a dick, right?" A pregnant pause ensued the sword before reluctantly continued, "I mean, hey I did my best all things considered! That dark asshole wanted to turn you into a chick; got no idea why though. Maybe he's just in touch with his feminine side? I tried to make sure you at least had some balls between your legs and not a pair of knockers on your chest."
"I...do not understand."
"You know what, better if I just show you. There's a mirror in that table over there. Look at your face and see if you recognize it."
Reluctantly he stood, unsteadily walking towards the table and picking up the handheld mirror. As he raised it slowly he took note at the face it reflected - Dull gray eyes looking back at him, framed by a head of white-blonde hair. He raised a hand and touched a pale cheek and the figure in the reflection matched it - That was definitely him then. He lowered the mirror and shook his head. He had no idea how he 'should' have looked like but it still felt wrong.
"You're shorter than when I last saw you too." Derflinger pointed out, "I mean, I'll say again that I did the best I could. It wanted to turn you into a woman and when I met you had a wiener I had to assume that-"
"Who am I?"
"That's a bit of a loaded question." Derflinger chuckled, "If you mean who are you to me then you're my partner, like I said." He found far too much amusement in this, the young man mused, "As for your name then...well, you went by 'Raziel' when we were with Pinky. Who are you as a person? Well, I suppose that's up to you. You were a bit of a prick at times but I've had worse partners."
"You know who I am then? Why I ended up in that forest?" Derflinger gave a hum of affirmative, "You told me as well that you're the one responsible for my lack of memories and why I look like this?" Another hum, "Could you give it back then? My face and my memories-"
"Nope."
"Um...excuse me?" Raziel's eye twitched in irritation.
"I said nope. No, zilch, nada, no way; do I really gotta explain to you?" He clicked, "Now before you go off and get angry with me I'll tell you right now - I can't give you back your memories...well, actually let me amend that: I could give you back your memories, but your mind's going to go from little pieces to dust. As far you're concerned those memories are gone for good and I'll be frank here: You're really fucking lucky you're not a drooling idiot right now. You might not have all your memories but at least you're sane."
"But what about-"
"About what?" Derflinger challenged, "If you're worried about the thing that did this to you then don't worry about it. As long as I'm near you that thing has no chance of getting within five feet of you. As long as you don't wander off too far away then the seals I put in should keep it away. A bit of an old trick I learned from a wannabe necromancer a couple thousand years ago. Saved your ass, didn't it?"
"I...was more concerned about friends or family I might have left behind." He wrung his fingers together nervously, "You refer to someone known as 'Pinky'...she was family or a close friend, yes?"
Derflinger sighed. It almost hurt seeing the hopeful look in his normally pissed-off face, "Right, look partner - Just drop it, okay?"
"But-"
"You left a few people behind, but you know what? Your life was shit." Raziel blinked. That...wasn't what he expected to hear, "I'm sure you would have said otherwise but let's face it your definition of a good life is 'no one is stabbing me right at this moment'. Pinky was nice enough about it but you were her slave and even if she said otherwise those runes in your hand meant it was true."
"Still-"
"You want to go back to being a slave?" Derflinger asked. Raziel slowly shook his head, "Then drop it. Partner...you died for that girl. You woke up with me in your stomach because you chose to die for her." His voice grew softer, "Well, you gave your life and that's it. You don't owe her anything anymore. I know that you're 'supposed' to go back to her, but fuck it. You've been through more than enough crap."
"You want me to just...abandon my old life?"
"Yes." He replied bluntly, "Leave it behind. Trust me when I say it's better for everyone."
Another awkward pause. Derflinger returned to his sheath while Raziel trudged back to the bed, nearly collapsing when he finally got onto it. He...He had nothing. Apart from a name that didn't mean anything and a face that wasn't his, there was nothing he remembered besides that night in the forest. And now his 'partner' had told him in no uncertain terms to leave whatever life he had behind, to forget about anyone who he might have cared for.
"Derflinger...what do I do now?"
"That's the question, isn't it?" Derflinger ruminated, "Up till now all you cared about was protecting pinky. Even when you were with that maid, you gave it up to stay by her side. Now that you're free you can do whatever the hel you want. I'll be with you until you croak, so at least you got that going for you." Raziel forced a smile at the clumsy attempt at comfort, "Well, at least you're less of a depressed asshole like this. You could get pretty annoying back then."
"Was...I really that bad?" His face flushed red.
"Well...I guess there were worse," He replied half-heartedly, "But yeah, you were pretty depressed. Your memories being gone means there's nothing to be depressed about, so you got that going for you." He paused before continuing, "Hey, do me a favor and unwrap the bandages on your left hand. I gotta make sure of something. No questions just do it, alright?"
Slowly, painfully he unwrapped the cloth and grimaced. The skin was actually healing rather nicely all things considered, though there were traces of scars and bulletholes lining his arm.
What really caught his attention, however, were the runic letters etched into the skin of his left hand.
"Hah, I knew it." He groaned, "Because of your little 'condition' the whole 'till death do us part' chunk of the contract doesn't apply to you. As far as the runes can tell they're stuck with you until you're completely erased from existence."
"...Derflinger, I...what does this mean?" No answer. Raziel took a deep breath and asked again, "Who or...what, am I?"
"A human being, a person. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." Derflinger tone held no room for argument, "Now come on, you should get back to sleep. When your wounds are better you can talk to that girl again."
Louise hated being injured. While that might have been something that should have been normal to any growing teenager she'd really grown to hate them ever since it meant being forced to stay cooped up in this room.
She was pretty sure she was in Romalia, but she only had Julio's word on that. He had assured her that this was one of the spare rooms in the chapel and that he had taken her here to ensure her safety. Why he couldn't just bring her back to her family escaped her, though she supposed she couldn't fault him too much for it - Like it or not he did save her, after all, and it would be poor manners to act disrespectful after such an event.
...Though she would have been far more thankful if he had saved them both.
Glancing at the bedside table, she let out a held breath as she caught sight of the bloodstained and torn scarf. Julio had tried to take it from her, insisting that it needed to be cleaned, but she had refused. It was foolish, of course, but she had always been an emotional person. She hoped...knew that he was alive. Even after Julio told her that he had seen his demise firsthand.
She'd watched him die too, and it never stopped him for long.
Shaking away her thoughts, she stood up and limped to the small bookcase and picked out a decently thick novel. Julio had insisted that she stay at least until her leg had been healed, but there was nothing much to do here. After the fever and being told of her friend's demise she had cried...broken down really. After two days of unresponsive catatonia she'd finally grown tired of grieving and needed stimulation from the boredom.
"The Legend of Knight Artorias." She groaned and slammed it back onto the bookcase. She didn't need another reminder. Picking out a smaller book, she limped back to the bed and contented herself with reading about a master thief and a young noble lady falling in love.
"Ms. Valliere, are you awake?" Julio knocked on the door. She didn't bother replying; he always came in regardless. As if practiced the priest waited for five seconds to pass before opening the door slowly, "Ah, good, you're awake."
"What is it?" She put down the book in her lap and focused on him. While grateful for his rescue she couldn't exactly let her guard down. He was charming and gentlemanly...and right now that just made her suspicious after the initial charm of meeting him wore off.
"I came up here to check on you, as always."
Nodding, she sat up on the bed and stuck out her right leg and let him examine the wound. His 'miracles' had apparently grown weaker in recent days else he would have healed her wound straight away. Right now they had to make do with bandages and tonics, along with a few foul-tasting potions.
She couldn't help the blush overtaking her cheeks as he unwrapped the bandages and traced a gloved hand through the rapidly healing wounds; whether it was embarrassment or something else she didn't care to know right now.
"Hmm, looks to be healing nicely." Julio smiled and stood up, "You can walk properly now, yes? If so we'll no longer need to bandage it."
"Ngh...a slight limp, but it's not really that painful anymore." She admitted.
"Well, we're simply lucky that it didn't get infected on the way here," Julio hummed, his gaze shifting to the book in her lap before breaking out into another smile, "Ah, 'The Rouge and the Lady'. A classic." Louise's blush worsened and she looked away, "Come now, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. We all wish to lose ourselves in our fantasies at times."
"I..I don't normally read these kinds of books." She coughed, "I've been bored. It's been weeks since I've been stuck here and there's not much else to do."
"Well I suppose you'll be happy to know that this ends today then." He laughed at the way her eyes widened. She was easy to goad, that was for for sure, "Now that your wound has healed I can bring you back to Tristain. I'm sure you'll be happy to see your family and friends again after being separated for so long."
"I could have written a letter..." Louise muttered.
"Would they have believed it?" He challenged back, "As far as they know you died in Albion, my lady. A letter would prove nothing and at worst they would assume it was nothing more than an opportunistic cad trying to take advantage of their grief." He brought a hand through her hair. She didn't push him off, "Unless they saw you with their own eyes they wouldn't be convinced."
"Hah...I suppose..." She sighed. He had a point, much as she disliked leaving them in grief longer than they needed to be, "Before we go back to Tristain, though, we need to make a small trip to Albion-"
"My lady, we talked about this..." Julio's smile faltered, "Sir. Raziel perished in Saxe-Gotha. There's nothing else-"
"If he's dead then I want to be sure." She pressed, "Like you said, it's hard to believe unless you see it with your own eyes."
"Fair point." He replied, his smile returning, "Regardless do you not wish to visit your home first? I'm sure they must be worried."
"I want to, but..." She bit her lower lip, "If I do go and visit them first I'll be lucky if they ever let me out of my room for fear of my safety." Her hands crumpled the bedsheets, "After this I'm not even sure if they'll let me go to the academy instead of being given tutors at home where they can keep an eye on me. I don't want them to keep wondering but...I owe Raziel to try. Even if I find nothing but his corpse I can at least give him a proper burial."
"Did you...try summoning him with the Familiar ritual?"
"Yes. The portal didn't open." Julio's brow furrowed. That...had never happened before, "It means he's still alive, right? I mean the ritual only works when the Familiar has passed on so that must mean he's still here."
"Or it might be confused. Sir. Raziel is, after all, a reanimated corpse. Perhaps the runes are unsure if he counts as deceased."
"Either way, I'm going," She affirmed, "You can come with me or not, but I'm not staying here any longer." She bowed, "I thank you again for the aid you've given me, and I don't mean to sound ungrateful but I really must be going."
"I'll come with you. It would be...poor of me to let you go off on your own after all you've experienced." He raised her hand and planted a kiss at her knuckles. She let out an embarrassed cough and tried to stop her cheeks from flushing red again.
Okay, maybe the gentlemanly charm hadn't lost all of its appeal just yet.
Days passed and his wounds had healed. Tiffania had called it miraculous, though he simply attributed it to luck. Having nowhere else to go and unsure of what to do next he stayed, helping out around the small 'village' as best he could. The children had accepted him well enough, though some easier than others. Tiffania had assured him that they were simply shy and hadn't seen someone outside of their age range in a long time.
Helping out was easy. Apart from chopping up firewood and growing some vegetables there really wasn't much else to do in Westwood. As Tiffania had explained, they lived a simple life - No luxuries, but not much in the way of hardships to compensate. It suited him just fine: Chop wood, water some plants and play with the kids. He could see others growing bored of it but it was good enough to keep him satisfied.
Besides, it was satisfying to see the look on their faces when he'd brought back that dead deer. ...Granted they were appalled at first at the sight of a dead animal, but after their stomachs had been filled with venison they quickly decided it was a necessary evil.
Still, he felt..odd. His body was light and while he wasn't sure about others like him he was pretty sure most people of his minute stature would have had a harder time carrying a whole deer with them. Derflinger commented simply that he was 'skilled', and at best he could only surmise that at least parts of his memories were retained. It would explain why he was good at hunting and using a bow despite his lack of knowledge.
But now that they were fed and satisfied he needed something else - A job. Tiffania had told him that her older sister covered their expenses, but he wanted to pitch in. Tiffania apologized profusely on not being able to help him look for a job in town, though she kept her reasons to herself. It was fine; they'd accepted him without much fanfare and the least he could do was be accepting back.
Now if only he knew where to look for a job...
He looked around the town and frowned. The closest town was at least half an hour on foot, and already he was tempted to leave and look for another one even if it meant more walking. From what he'd gathered from the locals the 'Tristanians' had started killing one another before quickly retreating. The town had been left in ruins as a result and the citizens were doing their best to restore the port town to its 'former glory'.
They also assumed him to be a 'Romalian', whatever in the abyss that meant, due to his features. He didn't bother contradicting them; so long as it allowed him to go about his business he could be an Oolacilian for all he cared.
"Job, job, job..." He muttered. He'd asked some of the local merchants if they had anything that needed to be done but they turned him away, claiming that they could barely afford to keep their stores afloat given the mess the Tristanians left behind. Some of the nicer ones suggested that he come back in a week or so when the various Royals officially signed the treaty and things could get back to 'normal'.
Hmm, he didn't know royalty would be coming. There were rumors of a festival in the town where the treaty would be held: If that was true maybe he could take Tiffania and the children there.
...Assuming he could find a job, of course. Children liked toys and to get toys you needed money, that he was relatively sure of at the very least.
"This shouldn't be so hard..." He mimicked a yawn. The only thing that seemed to remain completely open were the various guilds and bounty boards - With the war over mercenaries once again began continued their hand-to-mouth existence. He didn't know much about how they worked, but it seemed simple enough: There were jobs listed on the board and if they did the job they got paid.
Seemed simple enough, though it wasn't for him. Most of it seemed to concern territorial disputes or killing bandits. He wasn't sure of himself or whoever he had been, but he was pretty sure he didn't like killing people. The thought caused a shiver to run down his spine and he didn't wish to test it.
He needed something a bit more...stable.
He was so busy contemplating that he didn't catch sight of the girl bumping into him before it was too late.
"Argh..." He rubbed his stomach and looked to the girl across from him. Thankfully she seemed unharmed, if slightly put off by the packages littered around her. No wonder she didn't see him, "Ah, sorry, sorry!" He offered her a hand, which she accepted with a mumbled 'thank you'. As quickly as he could he picked up the various parcels and piled them clumsily onto his arms, "Uh...I could help you with this. It's the least I could do for bumping into you."
"No, it's alright." She shook her head and held out her hands, "I just need to-"
"Hey, Sie-Sie, what's taking so long?" A loud, girlish voice interrupted, "Evening's about to hit and-" The new arrival paused, gaze shifting between the two of them before she offered him a friendly smile, "Oh, sorry, didn't know you were talking to a friend."
"I wasn't looking at where I was going, that's all." 'Sie-Sie' excused, "Anyway, there's still a lot of time before opening time, right?"
"Sure, sure." She waved a hand dismissively and looked back at him, "Sie-Sie's a bit too out of it to ask for help so I'll do it: Could you help us carry that back to the store? We're kinda scrambling around like headless chickens here."
"Jess-"
"Oh, of course." Raziel nodded and smiled. It wasn't as if he could find a job anyway.
The trip was short, complicated only by the girl's - she introduced herself as Jessica and the other girl as Siesta - slightly probing questions.
"So where are you from?" She asked, surprisingly cheery considering their surroundings, "You don't look like an Albionese."
"Ah...Romalia." He did his best to resist the urge to look away. Derflinger had suggested he not tell anyone anything honest about himself. While it was unlikely they would know his name apparently his past self should be best left forgotten by anyone outside of Westwood, "Please call me..." He caught sight of a somewhat pudgy bird, "Robin. I..came here to look for work."
"Work? You go to the country that just finished with a war to find work?" She looked him up and down, "Unless you're planning to be a mercenary there's not much you can do.." She shrugged, "I mean that is unless you try to show off some skin like we do. Our last stay here wasn't the most...pleasant, but people are desperate to drink and ogle young girls so here we are. Once the post-war craze ends we'll pack up and go back home."
"What is it exactly that you do?" He rubbed his bandaged left hand uneasily. Derflinger had suggested he cover it up as well and since the alternative was cutting off the flesh entirely he had agreed. Right now it felt uncomfortable, almost itchy in a way.
"I think it'd be better if we showed you." She winked, "Come on, it's not that long before opening time."
Show him she did. When the 'Charming Fairies' had officially opened and the girls put on their 'uniforms', he wasn't ashamed to admit that he stared far longer than he should have before looking away. It wasn't his fault; their attires left little to the imagination and watching them work was, in a way, impressive. Despite the conditions of their customers it wasn't long before they threw handfuls of gold, silver and copper to allow their eyes to linger for just a bit longer
"I have to admit I'm surprised people are still willing to give so much." Jessica sidled up next to him, a playful smirk on her face. The two stood in the back kitchen to not get in the way of the workers, "I would've thought people would keep their moves close to their chest after what happened but here they are spending it like there's no tomorrow. Guess dad was right." She rolled her eyes and grinned, "Well, I'm not complaining. More business for us and it'll take their minds off what happened last time."
"What happened?"
"Ah...that's not something I'm comfortable discussing, sorry." She clapped his shoulder, "But hey, I saw the way you were looking at em? Impressed by how much this jobs pays out, huh? You said you were looking for work, so why not work for us?"
"Um...really?" He couldn't help but get his hopes up. After a day of constant rejection this could be just the break he needed, "I'm...flattered, but I'm not really sure what I could help with."
"We could always use another server." She put a finger on her chin and gave him another once-over, "You're kinda small, but there's a lot of customers that are into that kind of thing." Wait...what? "I mean you have that foreign appeal going for you. Most of the girls here are Tristanians, but we get a few Germanians and Gallians sprinkled in every now and then. Romalian girls always have that 'forbidden fruit' aspect to them."
"I'm not-"
"You gotta act shy though, play into the expectations." She groped his chest, ignoring his look of revulsion, "Not much in the chest area, huh? Well, we can use that. We had this girl Desiree and people kinda assumed she was a runaway from a noble family. We play our cards right and we can make them think you're a former nun; nothing beats the good old 'Shy and inexperienced virgin' act. Guys will be tripping over themselves to be your prince-"
"I'm not a girl!" He swatted away her invasive hands and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He suddenly felt dirty, "I'm a guy! Male! Completely not female!" A few bar patrons turned to face them before going back to their drinks. It wasn't any of their business.
"Wait...really?" Jessica appeared doubtful at the claim, "I mean even with the shirt and pants you kinda look-"
"I'm out of here." He shook his head and made to leave until Jessica suddenly took hold of his hand.
"Alright, I'm sorry! It was a mistake!" She pleaded. Raziel looked back at her, his eyes narrowed, "Look, I apologize, okay? It was wrong for me to assume." She let go of his hand, "Look, offer still stands - You can work in the back as a dishwasher and take my place. Sie-Sie will show you the ropes." She pressed her hands together in a begging gesture, "Again, sorry! I didn't think you were a guy. Your appearance and your voice just gave the wrong impression, you know."
"...It's fine." He sighed, "I can't stay mad given what you're offering." He made a forced smile, "So do I come back tomorrow?"
"Yeah, sure. See ya tomorrow, kid."
Tiffania hummed to herself happily as she cut apart the vegetables with practiced slices. It was getting warmer as the season passed but the snow still blanketed the the village and everything around it. Warm food always got the kids excited and it was one of the few things they were able to look forward to: Much as she might have wished against it the fact of the matter was that there really wasn't much to do around here and as they grew the games they played would eventually grow stale.
Soon they would have to leave. It was part of growing up.
Shaking off her pessimistic thoughts she took a sample of the stew and tasted it, "Hmm, needs more spices..." She grabbed the condiment and sprinkled a bit before separating them into specific bowls. She remembered it all by heart now: Jacob didn't like vegetables while Amy disliked meat; Anthony ate more than the rest and he liked the mushrooms; Catherine always ate too little so the bowl would only be half-filled and Raziel...
She stopped her preparation and looked down at the new bowl. Even after two weeks it still felt slightly odd to have him around. While she enjoyed his company greatly, it didn't change that she'd only ever interacted with children who were eleven years old at the oldest. Big sis Mathilda was often away and the idea of spending time with someone of her own age group always seemed impossible for her.
Granted she didn't know exactly how old he was. He looked young enough to be of her own age, but the circumstances in which she found him cast some doubt into that. Regardless his personality was bright and the children loved spending time with him which he reciprocated wholeheartedly. His memory was lost, though he didn't seem to care particularly about getting it back.
It also helped that he was very helpful around the house. Neither the kids or herself were capable of hunting and ever since he'd been helping around the 'village' the children's mood had improved. Venison and rabbit meat was usually a luxury that they were able to afford rarely if Mathilda's job was good, but since he'd proven a decent hunter they were eating well for the most part. Granted she didn't like looking at dead animals but the food was worth it.
She looked outside the window and giggled as she saw Vaan jump onto Raziel's back. Her guest was currently chopping up firewood, or at least he was before the younger male had latched onto his neck. She saw him laugh in response and playfully reach up to ruffle the little boy's brown hair. Vaan in particular was fond of him; it was likely the presence of an older male figure that led to him being attached. The lad had lost his parents and his older brother died not too long after so Raziel's presence must have come as some sort of comfort.
Outside, Raziel laughed as Vaan tried to tug him down into the ground, "H-Hey, knock it off, kid." He feigned choking sounds and Vaan only doubled his efforts to knock him down. It was only play fighting, but he could tell he was being serious in his attempt to overpower the older male. The child seemed to take it as a challenge when Raziel had boasted about being stronger than him.
"I've got you this time!" He applied as much weight as he could but the young man refused to budge, "Argh...come on! Fall already!"
"Never!" Raziel straightened himself up and started running in circles. Vaan's groaning was replaced by a mix of screaming and laughter as he tried to hold on to him.
Their playing lasted for a few more minutes before Vaan lost his grip and fell on his back, laughing all the while. Raziel mimicked a pant and wiped the non-existent sweat off his forehead as he helped the boy up, "I told you: Never mess with the master. I always win."
"You'll lose someday!" The kid shot back, "Gimme five years and I bet I'll be bigger than you are! Then I can protect the others when the bandits and wolves come from the forest."
"Bigger doesn't mean stronger," He ruffled his hair again, "As long as I'm here you don't need to worry. I may not look it but I can carry a bear on my back," The child's expression made it clear he didn't believe him, "What, you're doubting me now? Trust me anyone who tries to hurt you guys is in for a world of pain," He frowned slightly, "I don't like hurting people but it's them or you, right?"
"Right..." Vaan looked down.
"Oh come on, what's wrong?" Raziel knelt down and looked him in the eye, "Something's bugging you, I can tell. Come on, you can tell me."
Vaan looked around briefly before meeting his gaze, "You promise not to tell anyone? I'll get in big trouble if Big sis Tiffa finds out."
"It's probably not that bad. Tiff loves you guys, you know that," He reassured him.
"It's not her I'm scared of," He shook his head, "It's auntie Matilda. She's...scary. Big sis Tiffa says she takes care of us but a lot of us think auntie scary. She always seems angry and worried about something."
"I'm sure she has her reasons," He shrugged, "Now come on, show me what it is you're so worried about. I promise I won't tell." He held up his pinky finger and grinned. The 'pinky swear', as Becca called it, was the way they used to show how sincere they were. He didn't get it himself really but if it calmed them down then he could do it.
"Right, swear." Vaan joined fingers with him briefly before walking towards the forest, "Come on." He called back, "I hid it in the forest so no one else could find it."
The unlikely pair went through the forest briefly before they found themselves in a small clearing. Raziel looked around at the cut-up trees, "We used this place to get firewood and get stuff to build our houses," Vaan explained, "No one really goes here anymore so I thought it would be a good place to hide it."
"Hide what? Don't keep me in suspense."
Rather than verbally answering the child reached his hand into a hollow stump and pulled out a flintlock. Raziel's brows knotted together in slight worry as he presented it to him hesitantly, "What are you doing with this?" He carefully grabbed the gun from the child's hands and checked the inside. Mercifully it was unloaded though he wouldn't be surprised if the ammo was in the stump too.
"I-I thought we might need it," He looked down at his feet sheepishly, "I've been hearing lots of stories about bandits coming from the war. I thought that if we had a gun we'd be able to protect ourselves. It's what the adults use."
"One gun won't be enough," He sighed and scratched the back of his head, "Listen, I meant it when I said that I'll protect you guys. As long as I'm here you have nothing to worry about. I'll keep you safe," He did his best to give a reassuring smile.
"But how long will you be here?" Vaan asked back, "I mean, you're gonna leave at some point, right? We need something to protect us when you're gone," He frowned and looked away, "Sorry, I shouldn't say stuff like that. You want to leave soon, right?"
"Not really," He sat down and patted the ground next to him. Vaan reluctantly sat and pulled his knees up to his chest, "I mean, I really don't know what I'm going to do after this. Derflinger says it's fine if I never recover my memory since it might even be worse than forgetting. I dunno, I guess I'll look around and see if I can't make a life for myself somewhere else." He lied down on his back and stared up at the sky blankly, "I can't stay here too long. I don't wanna be a bother to you guys."
"Y-You're not a bother!" Vaan's scream caused him to nearly stand in surprise, "Big sis and the others like having you around! You're fun to play with and big sis is happy to have someone as old as she is! We'll be sad if you decide to go..."
"Hmm...we'll see then," He shrugged and closed his eyes. The sun and wind felt relaxing, "I guess we'll see what Tiff says after a couple of weeks. Until then just make sure you don't show that to her. I don't wanna know what she'd do to either of us if she found out I let you hide a gun around here without telling her."
"Big sis Tiffa never gets mad. She's really nice."
"Oh, I wouldn't think that if I were you," He opened one eye and grinned, "Trust me, the ones who are the nicest are the scariest when you get them mad, I know. There was this woman..." He trailed off. Briefly he remembered an older woman with pink hair whose smile concealed her darker intentions. Not a second passed before the image left his mind and he felt empty once more.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." He sighed, "Just promise you won't worry about it for now, alright? I'm here right now and I can help protect you guys if need be. Trust your big bro."
The reassurance was rewarded with a comforted smile. Raziel closed his eyes once more and let himself relax. It wasn't long before he felt his consciousness fade and let the embrace of sleep take him.
"Raziel, wake up~" A gentle voice nudged him from his rest.
Opening his eyes slightly he caught sight of Tiffania before the bright sun forced him to close his eyes once more, "Mmm, five more minutes, Tiff," He turned to the side and and groaned.
Tiffania giggled and nudged his shoulders once more, "Come on, Raziel. You're missing lunch time."
"I'm not hungry..." He answered back tiredly.
"The others are waiting for you. They won't eat without you."
"Ugh..." He forced himself to sit up and looked up in slight irritation at the hatted girl, "You always use that against me but when we get there they're always eating already. One of these days I'll just stop believing you, you know?"
"Hmhm," She smiled slightly and offered him a hand up which he accepted gratefully, "I think you'll enjoy the food this time. I managed to get some mushrooms and they taste really good."
"If you say so."
As expected when they had arrived the kids were already digging into their meals. Raziel threw Tiffania a half-hearted glare before sitting down with Vaan on his right and the teenage girl on his left. The stew was delicious, as he had expected, though the mushrooms caused him a sense of nostalgia as he ate them. Regardless it did cause him to wake up from his fatigue so he ate it wholeheartedly.
Amy put down her bowl and turned to the pale teen, "Hey, Big bro?" She called softly. The girl was shy compared to the other children though surprisingly enough she was the first to call him by the moniker with the others following soon after, "When are you leaving?"
The others stopped eating and looked to the pair. Amy looked dead serious while Raziel continued to eat his food casually. He swallowed another spoonful of meat before replying, "I'm not really sure. Why, do you want me to go already?"
"N-No," She bit her lip and looked down, "V-Vaan said you might be leaving in a couple of weeks and I don't want you to go..." She swallowed nervously and, before he could say anything in response, stood up to go back to the house she shared with the others.
"..." Raziel looked down at his bowl before standing up and going towards the river. Maybe some fishing would clear his mind; he wasn't that good at it but the moments of solitude did serve to calm him down somewhat.
The fishing rod was exactly where he left it. No one ever came to the forest so Tiffania had told him it was safe to leave it there. He tossed the hook into the water and sat down on a tree stump. He doubted the fish would bite without any bait but it was something to keep his mind off of things.
Truthfully he had no idea what to do. Staying here was tempting, but could he really just leave it like that? Living a life with no memories of how he had gotten here or whether he had left anyone behind? Perhaps he had family or at the very least friends who would miss him. Derflinger had told him to let it go but the curiosity was eating at him with every day that passed.
At the same time, could he leave Tiffania and the others? What if recovering his memory changed things and he never saw them again? He shook his head and pulled the rod back. Nothing as expected, "This is way too complicated..." He tossed it into the water once more. He cared about them in the short time he'd known them but leaving these questions unanswered was difficult.
"Raziel?" Tiffania reluctantly walked next to him, a worried expression on her face, "Are you alright? I'm sorry if Amy..."
"Ah, it's fine," He let out a sigh before smiling, "I've been thinking about what I'm going to do. Derflinger tells me that my past is better left buried but...I dunno, what if I forgot something or someone truly important? I'd never be able to let that go."
"Will you leave then?" She didn't bother masking the sadness in her voice.
"I dunno..." He repeated, "I wanna know what I was doing in that forest and how I ended up here but if the risks aren't worth it then everything will be pointless," He pulled back the rod and tucked it next to the stump. He wasn't catching anything today, "Besides, I don't want to be a burden to you guys. I've been here for a few weeks now and my wounds are already healed so I don't have an excuse to stay."
"You don't need an excuse." She gave him a comforting smile, "Stay here as long as you want. The kids and I would be sad if you left. You've only been here a short time but the children are already attached to you and I like having a friend close to my age."
"Hah, thanks." He blushed and looked away, rubbing the back of his head, "W-Well...I guess I'll stay for a bit. You sure it's not a bother?"
"Of course not," She shook her head, "We owe you a lot, actually. You're a very big help around the house and the job you took in town is very helpful," She blushed slightly and put up her hands as she quickly backpedaled, "Um, that doesn't mean I want you to stay because of that, though! Even if you quit your job and stay here it's fine! It's just-"
"Haha, it's alright. I get it," He laughed, "Don't worry, I know you're not taking advantage of me. You're not nearly evil enough for that. Besides," He grinned, "You're too cute to be some kind of evil villain-"
"R-Raziel!" She turned away, trying to hide her blush. She didn't know why her face was so warm but she did know that she didn't want him to tease her like that. Raziel laughed once more.
With both hands on her heated face she didn't notice the sudden gust of wind blowing away her hat. As soon as she felt the sunhat leave her head she reached up to try and grab it before another gust of wind blew it towards a tree branch. Eyes widening her hands immediately went to cover her ears but the tips still came over the edge.
Oh no...oh no...he had seen her ears... She was a half-elf, 'demonspawn' to humans. She closed her eyes tightly and took quick, panicked breaths to calm herself. Would he despise her now? Treat her as if she was a monster.
After a minute of silence the golden haired girl reluctantly opened her eyes and looked towards the other teen. The look he gave her was of the same smile he had before, though there was a hint of confusion. Why...Why wasn't he scared?
"Something wrong, Tiff?" He tried to walk towards her but she backed away from him in a panic, "Woah, calm down!" He held up his hands in surrender, "Dunno what's wrong, but you're going to fall into the river if you keep going that way."
"D-Did you see?" Her breathing had calmed somewhat but her hold over he ears remained ironclad.
"See what? If you mean your hat then yeah, I saw it. Don't worry, I'll get it back later-"
"N-Not that!" Closing her eyes once more she removed her hands from her ears, "You saw it, right? My ears?" He looked confused but nodded regardless, "Then that means..."
"That means..." He still appeared confused.
"P-Please don't dance around it. Just tell me that you hate me already..."
"Um...why?" She looked up and opened her eyes. No rage or hatred, only confusion, "Um...is this an Oolacilian thing? Cause I have no clue what you're so worried about. Are your ears pointier than everyone else and they get jealous?"
"This isn't a joke..." Her voice still remained listless though she was noticeably calmer now, "I'm a Half-Elf...people look at me and see a monster."
"A monster? Please. How could someone like this be a monster?" He grabbed her ears teasingly and was rewarded with a tickled giggle from the blonde, "See? They're ears. Mine are round and yours are pointy, but they're all the same."
"Y-You really don't care that I'm an Elf?" Her tone was wary but hopeful.
"Nope. Don't even know what that is," He shrugged, "I know Oolacilians, but I doubt you know what that is either," Her look of confusion was all the answer he needed, "So was that why you always wore that hat?"
"Yes. The kids trust me because they're still young and we took them in but most people your age would hate me once they found out. They told me before that Elves are monsters...demons to humans," Her lips curled down into a frown. Raziel looked down briefly before grabbing her ears again and tickling her, "Wh-What- Raziel! Stop!" Despite her protests her laughter hadn't abated.
"Didn't know demon ears were so ticklish," He grinned and traced the inside. Tiffania placed both hands on her mouth to keep from laughing, "Come on, laugh! You're cuter when you smile- Woah!"
Tiffania had pushed him. She meant no harm by it - it was likely just an attempt to pay him back somewhat - but their close proximity to the river meant that the result was him falling headfirst into the icy waters.
"Thphhpt!" He shook his head and sputtered out the water. The river wasn't that deep but from where he was sitting the water had reached up to his waist, soiling his trousers.
"Oh, s-sorry!" She offered him a hand, "I didn't mean to- Ahh!"
With an 'evil' laugh he grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the river. Tiffania fell onto the freezing stream and immediately started shivering, "R-Raziel! How could you?" Despite her shivering her could make out the smile on her face.
"Revenge is sweet," He splashed her, earning another surprised shriek, "See? What kind of demon can't even defend herself from splashing water? A bunch of kids with buckets of water could stop your rampage-" She raised up her hand and tried to pay him back but the white-haired teen jumped back with a laugh, "Hah, you have to do better than-"
She grabbed his leg and pulled. It was a mean thing to do, but his smug smile being replaced with a shocked scream made it worth it. Raziel stood up, pulling back his soaked hair.
"Oh, you'll pay for that!"
They didn't know how much time they spent 'fighting' one another in the river but at the end of it both were sitting down in the water laughing to themselves.
"...Thank you, Raziel," Tiffania let out a relieved smile, "I'm glad that you didn't hate me."
"Hey, enough of that." He brushed away the hair covering her face and grinned, "Elf, Oolacilian, I don't care. We're friends, alright? I don't exactly know what made me go into the forest with a sword in my gut but I'm glad I met you...and the kids. You and the kids," He coughed and looked away. Looking closer now her clothes had gotten wet and it left little to the imagination.
"U-Um, yes, of course. I...we're glad we met you as well," Her face was tinged red again. Was this what having a friend felt like? It may have been selfish but she considered him important not just to the kids but herself especially.
"Um...say," Raziel gulped nervously and ignored the heat on his cheeks. Gods he was making an ass of himself, "If I chose to could I stay here? Permanently?" Her eyes widened and he immediately backpedaled. "I-I mean, just a thought, really! If you don't want me to then-"
"I'd...I'd be happy if you stayed," Her blush intensified and she gave a nervous smile, "I-I mean, we'd be happy if you stayed. The children and I."
"R-Right," He nodded, "W-Well I'll be sure to earn my keep and everything so...so..." He trailed off as he and Tiffania stared at one another. She was...beautiful, everything inside him told him so. Reluctantly he reached out a hand and cupped her cheek. He could feel her shaking nervously but she made no attempt to push him off. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and-
"What is going on here?"
The half-Elf and the former Familiar quickly separated from one another and turned to the source of the voice. A green haired woman stood, her arms folded across her chest as she looked unamusedly at the young man. From behind her the assorted children had expressions ranging from shocked to embarrassed to outright giggling in glee.
"I asked the kids where you were and they said you were by the riverside. They didn't tell me you had a guest..." She stared pointedly at the young man. Raziel could only give her an unsure smile in response.
"Tiffi, you have some explaining to do."
Elsewhere, in a small cottage, a young woman struggled in her bed. The room she stayed in was barren, the inside dark from the pulled curtains and lacking in necessities besides a bed, a small chest, wardrobe and table, "No...you won't take her...!" She trashed in the bed, arms reaching ahead to grab desperately even as her eyes remain closed. After a few more seconds of struggle her eyes quickly opened and she sat up on the bed, her breath ragged, "What..." She swallowed audibly and tried to calm herself.
"Another dream..." She wiped the sweat from her face and stood up. Even after all these centuries she still dreamed of her failures. Perhaps it was the proper penance but she sorely wished her memory faded with time. Supressing a shudder she reached up and tied her blonde hair into a braid, "...Fenris?" She called out weakly.
No response. He must have gone hunting...or he playing in the mud again.
Shaking her head, she changed into a set of presentable clothing and left the pathetic excuse for a house. The sun was only beginning to peak over the horizon, so at least there wouldn't be too many humans around; that was something she could at least take comfort in. Trudging over to the board she pulled down the closest slip of paper and frowned - Another group of bandits had taken over the cave south of the town. Hadn't she just killed its last occupants the previous week? These humans were eerily persistent with their desire to kill one another for petty baubles.
Regardless, money was money. It wasn't as if she had anything else to occupy her time.
"...Perhaps I should leave soon." She muttered. On average she could stay in a village for at least a few years before being forced to leave. The superstitious cretins took her lack of visible aging as proof that she was a Vampire or Oolacilian - who they had erroneously called Elves - and drove her away with fire and steel. She'd fought one of the former before; while there certainly was a similarity she lacked the desire to spill their blood and take it into herself.
She'd been here for five years now, ever since the purge and her failure. She didn't know why she even stayed.
Footsteps from the right drew her attention. A hunched figure walked listlessly, a hood covering their downcast face. She narrowed her eyes and grabbed their shoulder forcefully to stop them; any longer and they would have bumped into the board.
The figure looked up, looking at her with fatigued blue eyes. Looking closer she was obviously a female, albeit a haggard looking one if her stringy blonde hair and dark circles were any indication. She'd recalled seeing her before; the supposedly nonnative woman Amaury and Abigail had found during their trip to Tristain. Apparently they had taken her back with them out of pity. The girl barely spoke a word, though that wasn't any of her concern.
She pursed her lips and nudged her head to the board, "Watch where you walk..."
"...Thank you." The woman replied in broken Gallian.
More footsteps. She didn't bother curbing her fatigued exhale as she saw Abigail running towards them with an energetic wave, "Annie, I told you not to wander off!" She took a moment to catch her breath before turning back to the taller woman, "Sorry about that, Sarah. Annie's been restless these past two weeks and we don't know why."
"Keep better watch over her." Sarah muttered. If the humans were going to keep others of their kind as would-be pets then they needed better leashes.
"Yeah, sorry again!" She grabbed the fatigued girl's shoulders and pointed at their abode, "Annie, I know you're restless right now but you need to calm down, okay? Just tell Amaury what's wrong and he'll help you.
"...Sorry."
"Hey, none of that." She pushed her gently to the direction of the house, "Go tell Amaury what's wrong, okay? I'll catch up in a bit."
Abigail watched the younger girl for a moment before turning back to look at her, a wide smile on her face. She rolled her eyes: The girl was energetic and friendly to an almost sickening degree. Still, she supposed that was far more tolerable compared to the vast majority of humans always placing themselves first. The farmer had always done her best to make her feel welcome, even if she made it clear she had little desire to be accepted.
"Going after another group of bandits?" Abigail asked. She nodded and began to walk to the store; there was no need to sully her prized blades on scum such as this. A regular dagger would do, "Huh, I guess now that the war's over it's business back to normal." She chewed on the inside of her cheek, "Hey, Sarah, if you're that good at this why not try being a knight? I mean I know it's mostly guys but with your skill you can make it in easy."
"I have no desire to fight a king's petty battles." She replied. She had been a knight in the past, fighting for the greater good of her home. The monarchs here were greedy pigs, caring only for the betterment of their own stations. The previous war that had taken place here was due to a usurper claiming himself chosen by divinity. It was pathetic how quickly so many of them believed.
"I guess." She shrugged, "Anyway, d'ya hear the rumors?" She scooted closer, ignoring her look of annoyance, "They say a monster killed most of the army at Saxe-Gotha." She leaned back and grinned, "Some believe it, some don't. They didn't find much proof afterwards and since we lost people who weren't there think we're just making it up to try and sling mud."
"Hmm..."
"I mean I gotta admit, some of it sounds too stupid to be true. Did you hear some of the soldiers in the church?" She raised her hands and waved her fingers, "'Manus has come for us! The Father has come to guide his children back to their rightful place!'" She laughed, "Sounds like a load of...Sarah?"
Looking back, she found the statuesque woman frozen in place. Her eyes were wide and and her breathing became ragged. Abigail blinked worriedly and tapped her shoulder, "Hey, Sarah, what's wrong-"
Her hands shot up and grabbed her shoulders painfully. Abigail winced in pain, "Repeat what you said." Her voice was cold, frightening almost, "Word for word."
"Uh, like I said they think a monster-"
"The name they used!"
"Uh, Manus, Manus!" Abigail repeated quickly, "Th-They mentioned something about him coming out and taking their 'Humanity' or...or something!" She shook uncomfortably as her grip tightened, "That's all I know, I swear! If you wanna know more look at the soldiers they're treating at the church!"
She had checked, much to the priest's protests, and her fears only worsened as she heard their recollections. Most of them were too far gone, muttering to themselves incoherently and ignoring everything around them, but a few had managed to stay lucid enough to recall their experiences. All of them spoke of the same thing: A dark creature that pulled at them, driving them all to madness in order to release the shards they held within them.
But through it all, there was one name they all repeated.
"Manus..." She burst through the door to her house and pulled open the chest forcefully. Impossible...she thought he had perished in Oolacile. Her beloved had sacrificed himself to try and contain his corruption and that Undead had gone to finish it off. Princess Dusk had been saved, albeit temporarily, from danger and those few that survived the traumatic experience were scarred but alive.
Apparently she was mistaken.
She couldn't allow that...that thing to continue its sordid existence. Strapping on her armor, she briefly relished in the feeling of the familiar material covering her skin before picking up her tracers. She looked at the porcelain mask, its blank eyes staring back at her, before she fastened it to her face. It had been years since she had put on her true face, but once again she was needed.
She picked up the amulet at the bottom of the chest and allowed herself to grow still. The silver metal was crude, already showing signs of its age, but she cherished it all the same. "I will stop it...I promise you that." She closed her eyes and fastened it around her neck. Her beloved was gone, but he could still protect her.
Those men stated the monster had resurfaced in Saxe-Gotha. She would begin her search there.
Rushing to the forest, she let out a soft whistle. Almost immediately a large wolf bounded towards her, its large eyes looking up at her expectantly, "We must leave now." He gave a sad whine. She brought a hand through his face and offered him an smile from beneath her mask, "I apologize, but we must confront an old enemy." He gave an affirmative bark and stood by her side. He was always ready to help her.
Ciaran clasped her hands together and prayed for the blessing of the Gods. So long as the world needed a Lordsblade she would never stop fighting.
I always did wonder why all of Manus' shards ended up being female. I mean I gotta assume Manus is male and even if you go by the logic that his soul shards are separate beings and aren't tilted to being his gender because of this it still confuses me that ALL of them were female and all had the same plan of seducing a king. I mean I expected a bit of variety at least. It was fine when it was just Nashandra, but after all the DLC's it just make me think Manus was really in touch with his feminine side.
That or you buy the theory that they were all based on Dusk, but even that is hit or miss. So yeah, bright side he no longer looks like Julio. Not so bright side, Derflinger had to stop the soul from sex-changing him into another Dusk copy.
Anyway, this chapter was easier to write due to the lack of fight scenes, but the Raziel segments were definitely more cringeworthy than usual due to his shift from 'asshole' to 'dogged nice guy'. That and how quickly he jumps to trying to bone Tiffania after just weeks of knowing her. I dunno, maybe it's just my dislike of writing mentally well-balanced people over traumatized asshats. I'll do my best to show how the others are faring post-war rather than just from his POV in the next chapter.
Next chapter will either advance the story or be more filler with the various pairings (Raziel/Tiffania, Henrietta/Alsanna, Julio/Louise) along with set-up. That or I could show how Louise's family is dealing with it, but most people probably wanna skip those like the Wardes segments. We'll see depending on what you guys want and how I feel :)
I'm gonna be doing my best to branch out from here on in along with including more DS elements. For the past few chapters we've been mired with (darker but still) ZNT elements.
Shirosaki Kizuro - Thanks! I do recommend Game of Thrones though, it has the cojones to actually kill of its characters which I haven't done so far.
ArkT - Yeah, about 3-4 years now since I started. Time sure flies :P As for the hallucination, yes it was supposed to be very confusing. Rhea and Louise speak over each other and you have to guess who's talking based on what they're saying.
BloodTrinity - Or maybe he just likes blondes :P Who knows :)
Remvis - Good to see you had an easier time with this. Now that the monster's out of the bag things should be much clearer as far as Raziel's segments are concerned.
Loyaltothelegion - Manus isn't something to be celebrated. It's a monster, a badass one yes but a monster nontheless. As for angst...well, hopefully this chapter's complete and total lack of it satisfies you or anyone else that dislikes all the navel-gazing. I DID try to tone down his angst from other fics, and you gotta admit his problems are worth being whiny about all things considered.
As for Derflinger? Probably not. We don't know how long the cycles last so a few thousand years doesn't mean he lived through more than one. Raziel likewise doesn't know because he has no reason to know beyond Chester's vague comments.
Reaction to his death? Probably not much. Given that he's a pet he wouldn't be on the official death toll list and apart from Siesta or Guiche or anyone else he helped out no one would take note of his death over Louise. It's not like they can match him to Manus anyway, so as far they're concerned he's dead and the monster is unrelated.
Rangle - We might disagree, but I do appreciate that you actually took the time to write a relatively long review detailing why you dislike the fic :) A lot of other reviewers have been vitriolic, leaving bad comments and then leaving without much in the way of explanation. I won't repeat the argument too much for 'weakening' him because I've done it many times beforehand: I simply see DS and its protagonist differently to how many see it. I see someone who gets their ass kicked and keeps dying, eking out a victory after many deaths and mounting desperation. Many see the Dragonborn or the Inquisitor, an unstoppable badass whose many deaths are merely ignored instead of acknowledged as canonical and embarrassing failures.
As for the Authors notes, yep I have that bad habit. What can I say, I often get ahead of myself.
Kishinokurobi - Um...muse? I don't have one of those, unless you count my two friends that I discuss this with. As for the argument - He only got a heartbeat after Manus came out fully, meaning he didn't have one during the inn scene. So no, he didn't get a boner at that exact moment.
Yes, I am very petty.
