Guest - ah I don't mind repetitive, I just like knowing that there's people out there enjoying this fic!
53 Danny's POV
Buzz insisted that Tom stayed at his level for the entire time he was playing with his football, and wouldn't let his dad to go anywhere. Tom looked so awkward to be standing there like that, but he stayed, congratulating Buzz on his goals in his own muted way. I could tell that he was proud, and happy to see his son happy, but wasn't exactly sure how to express it. But that was okay, things would get easier for him, the more practice he had, the more time he had to figure out that he could let loose a bit.
In the mean time, me, Harry and Dougie could do all the enthusiastic cheering and playing about. Buzz wouldn't miss out while Tom learnt, we made sure of that.
Which is how the game devolved into all of us having a very small kick about. It generally only consisted on passing the ball to each other, letting Buzz get in the way and kick the ball into the goal. We never kicked it too hard, or too far for him to reach, always softly, so he could catch it. Buzz really enjoyed the game, giggling as he ran and kicked, in his little wobbly way, still getting used to all this new movement. Every time the ball got anywhere near the goal, he cheered, clapping his hands when we did. Tom joined in, clapping him in praise, even giving him a few kisses for the better goals.
It was so cute to see, Buzz was an incredibly cute baby all the time, if I was honest. He was just... he was always so giggly and smiley, and always up for playing about. And he was pretty smart, for a kid. Already showing signs of musical talent, and learnt new words on a daily basis. He was so funny too, and a brilliant cuddler, just like his dad. I loved him dearly, like he was my child, if I was honest. We had spent so much time with him recently, it was hard to not love him, and feel like he was ours too. I just wished Tom would let us help out a bit more, not just play with him.
But he was so protective of his parental duties, he didn't want any help in the slightest. I even offered to help with bath time during dinner, but Tom declined, insisting that he could do it himself. I let him, knowing I wasn't going to win, not right now. Instead, I watched him take Buzz upstairs for his bath, waving as the child waved at us, before slumping back against the sofa.
"It was a good day today, Tom joined in more than usual, and Buzz had fun." Harry reminded me, it was the truth, but it was still hard to deal with. To be so removed from Tom's life, while living with him, was hard. I wanted to help him, be with him, and just be a part of his and his son's life. I wanted to be more than Buzz's playmate, and Tom's song writing partner on occasion. I didn't know what I wanted to be exactly, but it was more than I already was.
I couldn't explain it, not really, I just... I just wanted more. And I knew that Tom couldn't give it to me, everything he had been through prevented it, but it still didn't stop me from wanting it. I felt like we should have been a big part of Buzz's life ever since he was born. I'd always figured we would be, considering how close we all were, but we hadn't been so far. Apart from playing with him during tours, or during parties, we didn't really spend time with him.
All because of Tom's wife, she had prevented it, stopped Tom from letting us round, blocking us from seeing what was going on behind closed doors, and stopping him from seeing that he had been built to be a parent, possibly more than anything else. More than being a musician, or a writer, or anything. Tom was built for parenthood. Between his pre-marriage childish nature, his never ending knowledge of Disney, and determination to get things right, he was the perfect candidate for it. More than any of us were, that was for certain.
"We'll get there Danny, I'm sure of it." Harry promised, I just wished he was right, so we could get what we wanted, what was meant to be.
