The Power Of…

"She shows up out of nowhere in the middle of the semester, behaves a bit weird, carries an obviously magical necklace and no one finds it a bit strange?" Xander demanded.

"New people move to Sunnydale all the time, this is California, and it's a family heirloom," Buffy replied. "I don't find it strange at all."

"This is Sunnydale," Xander retorted, "the fact that you don't find it a bit strange IS a bit strange!"

"No, what IS a bit strange is you getting upset because your EX is making new friends," Buffy said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have more important things to do than listen to your paranoid rants!" Buffy exclaimed as she stormed out of the library.

Xander turned to Giles and Willow but they pretended to be busy and not paying attention. Oz simply gave him an unreadable look and went back to staring at the window. "Fine, I'll do it myself," Xander said, before storming off himself.

As the doors shut behind him, he turned to open them and apologize as he wasn't really angry with them, but at Buffy for dismissing what he said without really listening, when he heard Oz say, "Sure he's not onto something?"

"It's seriously doubtful," Giles replied.

"He's basing it on Japanese porn," Willow added, before making an embarrassed noise as she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"How do you mean?" Giles asked.

"Erm… in all the Japanese cartoons with all the… stuff, the new villain of the week shows up just like Xander described Anya," Willow explained.

"That lowers the odds slightly," Oz deadpanned.

Giles smothered a laugh with a cough. "Yes, quite," he agreed.

Xander turned and left, angry all over again.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"One more time?" Giles requested.

"Xander was right," Xander said smugly.

"In more detail," Giles requested.

"A demon was trying to get me to make a wish about Xander," Cordelia said, "an evil one."

"But I grabbed the necklace and beat her to the punch," Xander said smugly.

"I wasn't going to make one about you!" Cordelia yelled out.

"Sure you weren't," Xander drawled sarcastically.

"I wasn't!" Cordelia snapped back. "If you must know, I was about to wish that Buffy's parents hadn't split up, so she never came here and none of this weirdness ever happened!"

Everyone stared at her in horror.

"What?" Cordelia said.

"Buffy stops the bad things, she doesn't cause them," Willow pointed out.

Xander opened his mouth to mention Angel and then thought better of it.

"Without Buffy, we'd all be dead or worse," Giles said.

"Well…. That's what I was about to wish," Cordelia said, slumping back as she thought about some of the crap she'd been through and what would have happened had Buffy not been there.

"Now, please tell me in exact detail what you said and did," Giles told Xander.

"I grabbed the necklace, made a wish, the demon said 'granted', revealed its true face, looked horrified and then vanished in a flash of light with the necklace," Xander said.

"It said granted?" Wesley asked intently.

"She said granted," Xander agreed.

"Big emerald necklace?" Wesley asked.

"Yeah?" replied Xander.

"Let me check something," Wesley said, before vanishing into Giles office.

"And the wish was?" Giles asked.

"I was a bit angry, it was spur of the moment, and mainly just said to waste the wish," Xander warned.

"Yes, but the wording was?" Giles asked insistently.

"I wished… for the power of Japanese porn," Xander admitted.

"What?" Giles asked, unsure he's heard correctly.

Xander shrugged and said with a scowl, "I was going to apologize for getting angry when I heard a certain comment."

"Oh," Giles said, cleaning his glasses while an awkward silence grew.

"Found it!" Wesley announced as he laid a large leather tome on the table, opened to an illustrated page. "Is this what you saw?"

"That's the puppy," Xander agreed.

"Got the necklace right and everything," Cordelia added.

"It's Anyaka, Patron Saint of Scorned Women," Wesley explained. "She grants wishes to women to punish men."

"That explains why she looked horrified at granting Xander's then," Buffy said.

"Normally her wishes turn out dreadfully for everyone involved," Wesley said.

"This wasn't a normal wish," Xander pointed out.

"What does the power of Japanese porn even mean?!" Buffy demanded.

"Something involving tentacles?" Oz guessed.

Buffy and Cordelia took a step away from Xander.

"I was thinking of Japanese anime," Xander told them, "only Willow calls it porn."

"It's cartoon porn," Willow said flatly.

"The Japanese don't have the same nudity taboos we have, nor do they think sex is a sin," Xander explained, "that doesn't make it porn."

"Except for the fact that they do indeed make a substantial amount of porn, cartoon and otherwise," Wesley said.

"There's a thin line between anime and hentai sometimes, but there is a line," Xander argued.

"And now you have to cross it," Oz said.

"What?" Xander asked.

"I believe he's saying you're going to have to watch Japanese porn now to figure out your powers," Wesley explained.

"Porn or hentai?" Xander asked.

"Both," Giles replied. "Until we know which one it is, it's best to be on the safe side."

"Please, you can just download it off Limewire or Bearshare," Willow said, only to shrink back from everyone turning to stare at her.

"Yeah… I don't have a computer, nor am I internet savvy," Xander pointed out.

"I'll request the funds for a computer," Wesley decided. "How much will you require?"

"How powerful do you want it?" Willow asked.

"We just need enough to get this done quickly and with the minimum of crashes," Xander said, recalling Willow almost cursing when her system kept going down on her. His jokes probably hadn't helped matters either.

"Two grand and a dedicated phone line?" she suggested.

"We'll set it up at my place," Wesley said, "that will make things easier."

"So… we're all going to eat popcorn and watch porn?" Oz asked.

"I think I can skip that," Buffy decided.

"Ditto," Cordelia added.

"I only need plot synopses," Willow quickly said. "I'll see what people online say about it."

"I'll bring popcorn," Oz said, surprising Xander.

"Thank you," Xander said sincerely, relieved he wouldn't be trapped watching porn alone with Giles and Wesley.

"If you can get me the money, I can get everything set up today," Willow said.

"I'll just have the council reimburse me," Wesley decided. "I can draw the money straight out of my account."

"I'll need a ride to a bunch of stores," Willow told them.

"They don't sell everything in one store?" Wesley asked.

"Buying a complete system costs a lot more and isn't nearly as powerful," Willow said, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"I'll visit the local video stores and see if they have anything," Oz offered.

"And I'll bring my bootlegged anime," Xander said.

"Anime are the non-perverted ones, right?" Buffy asked.

"Yes," Xander said.

"They are all perverted," Willow argued.

"Depends on how much of a prude you are," Xander told her, ignoring Willow. "I mean it's from a different culture with different taboo's."

"Like what?" Buffy said, before Willow could say anything.

"They have a weird form of discrimination against people descended from butchers and leather workers," Xander explained. "They are considered unclean as are all their descendants. It's something to do with religion, but I don't really get it."

"Anything else?" Buffy asked.

"Tattoos are a big no-no, unless you're a criminal, failing to pass your college entrance exam is really looked down on, as is doing poorly in school in general. A lot of these only show up in certain shows. I'll tell you if you want to watch any of the shows."

"Underage sex, incest, nudity," Willow listed off. "It's all perverse!"

"Japan has a lower age of consent than we do," Xander explained. "So the main characters are often 14, just like we use 18 over here. Hentai is loaded with incest while there is little in actual anime, though they do make a lot of jokes about it," he explained.

"And the nudity?" Buffy asked.

"Eastern cultures don't have a big nudity taboo and bathing is often a public activity where they soak in hot baths together," Xander said.

"It doesn't sound that bad," Buffy said.

"It's not," Xander said, "but Willow hates it with a passion, won't say why."

Willow looked away, red faced, when everyone turned to look at her.

"I think I'll pass," Buffy decided. "What powers do you think you'll get anyway?"

"With my luck?" Xander asked as he shook his head. "A powerful magic attack and a tiny skirt."

"And that's not perverted?" Buffy asked.

"No nudity taboo," Xander reminded her.

"What's that got to do with it?" Buffy wondered, confused.

"The younger the schoolgirl, the shorter the skirt," Xander explained. "It was done for practical reasons, as long skirts got in the way when playing and were harder to keep clean. Girls were expected to become more responsible and mellow as they got older, unlike America where shorter skirts mean something completely different."

"That makes sense," Buffy said, "but why would you be wearing one?"

"The most popular anime's are either young girl gets power or clueless guy being courted by a bunch of girls," Xander explained. "And knowing my luck…"

"How does getting power explain wearing a short skirt?" Buffy asked.

"You know how Wonder Woman spins and is suddenly dressed in a flash of light?" Xander asked.

Buffy started laughing as she pictured Xander doing the same thing.

"It's worse than that," Xander said, shaking his head.

"How could it be worse?" Buffy asked once she'd managed to stop laughing.

"Because the transformation sequence is more like a naked pirouette while coated in light that ends with them with their hair done, wearing make-up, jewelry, and often high heels," Xander explained.

Buffy fell over laughing.

"Maybe the wish wasn't wasted after all," Cordelia said with a smirk.

Typed by: - Sitheus Maximus / Ipsith