Chapter 54
It had been almost 10 minutes since I told Damon that I was the reason Elena was back and he hadn't said a word to me. I didn't want to push him, I wanted him to talk to me on his own grounds. I needed the relationship I had with him to still be intact when I left here. I cared for Damon more than I have ever cared for another person in my life. When I left for New Orleans I was certain that Damon was the one that he was the vampire in the legend, I do still love him as much as I did the day I left the first time but I don't know if I was right about us. I'm not as certain as I was before that he was the one, in the back of my mind I kept thinking if he would have been then I wouldn't have been able to develop feelings for Klaus.
Now I didn't think Klaus was the guy either, I honestly couldn't see myself loving him. He was to reckless, more than what I'm even comfortable with. Did I feel something for him, yea I couldn't deny that I did but it was completely different than what I felt for Damon.
"Why did you do that?" Damon finally said which pulled me out of my thoughts.
"For you." I told him honestly "I knew the only way I'd know for sure about us is if she was awake, I knew I was leaving so I thought it would be a perfect time for you to reconnect with her."
"So you think it's alright that you pushed her on me?" He was upset.
"I didn't push anything on you Damon, I just gave you the possibility everything else was on you." I told him trying to stay calm.
"Like hell, you knew if you took off it would push us back together." Damon raised his voice.
"If you truly loved me like you thought you did you would have been able to choose me, it was your choice to go back to her." I knew everything I just said was complete bull since I did kind of push them back together but I was hoping he would just let it go.
"Are you serious right now," Damon shouted "you're the one that told me I had to try it with her to see how things were now."
"I know I did but honestly I hoped you would truly be over her but I know just as well as you do that's not what happened." I hated speaking of his and Elena's relationship but I wasn't stupid seeing them together I knew they still had love between them.
"I told you from the beginning that I knew I loved Elena still but that didn't change the way I felt about you." Damon had finally calmed down some.
I took Damon's hands in mine "Damon what you have with Elena is more than you would ever have with me, the love radiates off of both of you when you're in the same room. Only an idiot would come between that and right now I don't want to be an idiot."
"What are you saying, is this, are we done?" All the emotion in his voice almost made me cry.
"You know the answer to that, you knew it 5 months ago, you knew it the moment you seen Elena again." I tried my hardest to not let my emotions come through but I felt the single tear escape the corner of my eye.
He just stared at me, "why are you doing this?"
His question confused me, "what do you mean?"
"I know you don't believe that, I know you don't believe a single word you just said so why are you pushing me away, why are you trying to make me think Elena is what I want?" Damon's response confused me even more, I really did believe that.
"I do believe that." I stated.
Then Damon did something that I hoped he wouldn't, he kissed me. I wasn't able to fight it this time like I had before, it had been so long since I felt his lips on mine and I couldn't help but feel they were right where they belonged. I deepened the kiss, obviously not thinking clearly. He pulled me into his lap and even though my brain was telling me I needed to stop what was happening I couldn't. As much as I wanted to tell myself I didn't want this, I knew I really did. I didn't know if Damon was the person I was supposed to spend my life with, for just one day I didn't want to think about the rest of my life I just wanted to think about that day. Not the next day not a week from then, just that day.
I knew this would top my list of mistakes but I knew I would probably never see this man again and I let everything but my brain control me that night. Being in Damon's arms just felt like it was the way things were supposed to be, I didn't know if he was my true love but I did know he was the love of my life. I've never been too good with the whole romantic thing but they seemed like they had to be the same thing. We did just a lot of kissing at first but I knew the moment that this would turn into something else, something more. I also knew that moment that I should have stopped it but I didn't. I let it happen, I made love to Damon for the first time that night and probably the last.
We had both fallen asleep lying in each other's arms after our time together. But I knew I had to finish things so I tiptoed out of the bed and finished the letters. It seemed like it was perfect timing, as soon as I finished the last one Klaus text me letting me know he was close. It being late it would be easier to leave without anyone noticing. I knew Damon would know as soon as he woke up that something was wrong but I hoped once he read the letter I wrote to him that he would go on my wishes and just live out his life. I know this was probably the worst possible thing that I could have done to him, it's likely to break him but I couldn't think of that right now. At least he'd be alive that's all that mattered to me.
And... Skye & Damon... After all the time and all the feelings between them they finally do what probably shouldn't have been done...
I know if militato123 is still reading, I'm probably not liked very much right now :/ But don't give up on me!
