Wow, last chapter had a pretty strong reaction. I was really amazed by the responses and people wanting a resolution, and also a revelation on who the shooter is. Well, you get your answer right away. The story changes in a big way in this chapter, and it will go into a dynamic not seen in the original Gundam SEED. And I'm sure what happens here is going to frustrate a lot of people too. This is another brutal chapter, though chapter 52 will offer a bit of respite from the intensity, I promise.

Though you, the guy who wants a Witchblade crossover or turn Cagalli into a mermaid . . . yeah, no. Not happening. Ever.

Here we go.


Chapter Fifty-One: Hopeless

"Tolle! Wait! Please!" I screamed as his finger closed around the trigger.

Tolle's eyes shimmered. "Cagalli! I can't! If I don't-"

"Why the hell are you doing this? I trusted you! I loved you! Was it you the whole time? Were you the one who murdered Dorothy Eliarez? Have you just been some spy waiting for your chance to kill me? Is that all you are, huh? Just another lie?"

I couldn't even look at him anymore. I just buried my face in my hands and cried.

This was perfect. Just too perfect. Now my boyfriend was revealed to be out to kill me the entire time! I had nobody, nobody at all! And now I was going to die out here, far away from anyone who remotely cared about me, completely alone, in the hands of someone who had played me like a fool and had succeeded!

"You think this is what I want to do?" Tolle shouted. His voice was trembling, like he wanted to cry himself. "I love you too, you know! But I was given no choice!"

"You have a choice you stupid bastard!" I screamed as I looked at him through blurred vision. "You don't have to kill me!"

"If I don't kill you my entire family's going to die!" Tolle shouted back. "It's them or it's you! That's what they told me!"

'They'? Who was 'they'?

Who was I kidding? I knew who 'they' were without much thinking.

"Blue Cosmos, huh? They put you up to this?" I asked. "You've been deceiving me? Playing me? Just so you can kill me?"

"I have no choice!" Tolle shouted. "What part of this don't you understand? One of the people you rescued in that lifeboat was a Blue Cosmos spy and she put me up to this! Said that she knew where I lived and if I didn't take care of you she would make sure my family would die! I begged Miri for help and she said she would! So when the woman got hurt Miriallia and I stuck our necks out for you! I'm the one who killed Dorothy Eliarez but Miriallia made sure she was seen so she'd be the suspect instead! I thought it would be over after that!"

The shock seemed to freeze the entire world for the next few seconds. My whole body shook and I was back down to my hands and knees, staring at the ground I had torn up with my hands just moments earlier.

Dorothy Eliarez . . . she was . . . she was just a Blue Cosmos agent, the whole time? But then she entrusted her daughter to me for babysitting multiple times before she died! Why would she do that, have a Coordinator babysit her own child?

This made no sense!

"T-Tolle?" I finally asked.

"I love you, Cagalli! I did everything I could to avoid this!" Tolle shouted. He looked like he was going to collapse himself. His knees were quivering and the grip on his gun was becoming increasingly shaky. He could accidentally fire the gun at any time. He could miss me completely or drill me in the head or anywhere in between, the way that gun was shaking.

"They came back for me, Cagalli! Once they get you there's no e-escape from them," Tolle managed through his choked voice. "They just force you to do whatever the hell they want, and they don't care how they make you do it."

"Tolle, don't do this! They could have murdered your family anyway and just kill you once you kill me!" I pleaded. "You'd just be a loose end, Tolle!"

"I know that! But . . ." Tolle just shook his head. "But I have to go with the choice that even gives my family a slim chance of survival. Do you understand that?"

I could. But I'd also try to find any way possible to try to avoid killing someone I love in order to protect someone else I love. I wouldn't just give up. Not like this, and do something evil.

But in the condition I was in, I felt nothing but despair. I was going to be murdered by my own boyfriend who was reluctantly playing the puppet being controlled by Blue Cosmos. I wasn't sure if Tolle didn't secretly plan to join me in death himself after he murdered me, the way he was acting in front of me.

It seemed to be a fitting way to go, after everything I had gone through. To die in maximum suffering.

"Tolle . . ."

"I'm probably a d-dead guy after this is over. But maybe . . . m-maybe my parents, and the r-rest of my family . . . and Miri too, they'll be left alone," Tolle said, tears pouring from his eyes. "I love you, Cagalli . . . but it's either we all die or just you and probably me. Y-You know what choice I have to make."

I could understand. And in that moment, after finding out what I was, where I had come from, and had finally an inkling of what had been done to me . . .

I almost wanted Tolle to kill me.

It would be so much easier if I were to die right here and now. It would be fitting too. My family would be so completely heartbroken and I had likely secured myself a place in hell for my actions in the war and over what I had screamed at Mom. I was suffering in that moment and I thought I was ready to face an eternity of nothing but suffering.

"Go ahead, I won't stop you," I managed. I blinked away my tears so I could see my executioner clearly. "Goodbye, Tolle."

"Damn it," Tolle said. His arms were quivering even worse than before. "Damn it . . . I can't do this . . . you're . . ."

I heard a soft snap of a dead twig to my right. Tolle lowered his pistol then, and a small, bittersweet smile crossed his lips and he closed his eyes.

"Okay," he said. "Do it."

It took me a second to realize exactly what Tolle meant and by then it was too late.

Pop. Pop. Tolle's body spasmed from being hit by gunshots twice from my right.

As I saw Tolle fall, I could not scream, or gasp, or even breathe. My whole body just ceased to function other than my eyes, who could not look away from my falling boyfriend.

Tolle landed on his back, blood seeping from his wounds, breathing raggedly. A pool of blood was rapidly forming under him, he had been shot by high-velocity rounds. He didn't have more than a minute to live at best, that much I could tell.

A few seconds later, I re-discovered how to breathe. And scream.

"Tolle!" I scrambled over to him, but as I reached him I heard a male voice from my right. A familiar male voice, now without radio distortion for the first time since I met him at Heliopolis.

"Cagalli!" I turned and I saw Athrun run out of the trees and into the field, a silenced pistol in his own hands.

He was wearing street clothes and now that I could finally see him clearly he looked surprisingly handsome, looking much more like his beautiful mother than his cruel-looking father.

"A-Athrun?" was all I could say before Athrun made it to my side and grabbed my arm.

"Cagalli, we've got to get you out of here," Athrun said. "Blue Cosmos is after you with a vengeance."

"B-But Athrun!" I wouldn't budge. Not after what just happened. Tolle was dying in front of my eyes and I didn't want to go anywhere! I didn't feel like running or doing anything else! I had just about given up on everything and I honestly did not care if I lived or died anymore. I just wanted to be by Tolle.

"Cagalli! I have intelligence that says they have personnel to go after you three more times!" Athrun shouted. "You have to come with me if you want to live."

"W-What if I don't, huh?" I asked.

"What?" Athrun asked, his blue eyes widening in amazement.

The tears re-appeared in my eyes and I could just barely make my voice work. I felt empty and useless and had nothing but pain in my thoughts. "What if I . . . if I don't want to live, Athrun? What do you say to that?"

"Dammit, Cagalli!" Athrun slapped me with the palm of his hand.

The shock of his action jarred me out of my stupor, just for a moment, as Athrun grabbed my shoulders and physically shook me for a couple of seconds.

"Cagalli, I am risking my life and the lives of my entire team to get you out of here!" Athrun shouted. "You aren't dying here! You hear me? Now get ahold of yourself!"

His voice was resonant enough that somehow I didn't feel quite so empty. It just made me cry more. "A-Athrun . . ."

Athrun's hands gripped my shoulders tightly. "Come on, Cagalli. Snap out of it. Pull yourself together! I know I shot someone close to you but if you don't pull yourself together everything will be for nothing! Please!"

It wasn't just that, but Athrun wouldn't know that, of course. He hadn't been privy to that revealing little conversation between Lord Uzumi and my parents.

I knew for sure I didn't want him to know either. I didn't want him to think I was a freak too.

The moment I thought that, I realized I still wanted to live. If I still cared what Athrun thought of me, I still desired to live. I still wanted to be cared about and liked. I didn't want to die, especially not here in some random field in the middle of nowhere.

"O-Okay, Athrun," I said finally. I looked over at Tolle, who was gasping for air and moaning softly, clearly in great pain.

"Tolle . . ." I managed.

Athrun let go of me and leaned over Tolle. "I heard most of the conversation, Tolle," Athrun said. "I'm sorry I had to do this."

"I . . . I heard you break that twig . . . I saw . . . your gun . . ." Tolle managed a grimance that vaguely resembled a smile. "I . . . I knew what . . . you were . . . gonna do . . ."

"Tolle!" I pleaded but Athrun grabbed me before I got too close.

"Cagalli . . . just . . . just don't let these monsters . . . win, okay? Don't . . . let yourself die . . . please don't die . . . until you beat them . . ." Tolle said, his eyes turning to me. "P-Promise me."

He began coughing and blood came up from his mouth and I got a little bit of it spewed onto my face, which I wiped with the back of my hand. I forced myself to ignore the nauseating scent of blood as I looked at him. "I . . . I promise, Tolle."

That sealed it. No matter how much despair I felt or how difficult the path in front of me was. Not until Blue Cosmos was beaten could I stop. No surrender, and death was not an option.

I do not lie to people and I do not break my promises. That's me.

"You . . ." Tolle said, his eyes beginning to close but managing to focus just enough on Athrun, "Please . . . protect her . . ."

"I will," Athrun said solemnly. "I promise that too."

"Thank you . . ." Tolle's head turned to the side then, and with his eyes still half-open, I heard him go completely silent. No longer breathing.

"Tolle?" I reached out to him only to be grabbed by Athrun. "Tolle?"

"Cagalli, we have to go!" Athrun shouted as he pulled me to my feet.

But in that moment, I remembered something Aisha had said to me inside the cockpit of Andrew Waltfeld's LaGOWE. That the hearing of a person was the last thing to go.

"Tolle," I said, fighting Athrun for just long enough for me to still be next to his face, "Don't blame yourself. I still love you, Tolle. I still do."

I bit my lip. "Goodbye, Tolle."

Then I finally let myself get led away by Athrun, as we vanished into the forest, leaving Tolle behind . . . forever.


What had happened still hadn't registered as Athrun led me through the forest. I couldn't say a word and I was still wiping away my eyes. I still couldn't believe what had happened. Tolle, my boyfriend . . . forced to serve Blue Cosmos,dead. Killed by none other than Athrun. Tolle, who killed Dorothy Eliarez, who was a Blue Cosmos agent herself and wanted Tolle to kill me. Tolle, who had been so understanding despite me gradually falling apart over the course of the Archangel's journey . . . and he was gone.

I still couldn't believe it.

He didn't deserve that at all! Tolle didn't deserve to die! But at the same time, he was going to kill me! Athrun killed Tolle but he saved my life in the process! I didn't know how to feel that at all.

I thought about resisting Athrun but after everything that had happened my will to resist was just gone. Blue Cosmos had plans for three more attempts on my life? What much more could they possibly do to kill me? They sent a black-ops squad to kill me and when that failed they forced Tolle to do it. What could possibly be next?

It felt like I had no choice but to let Athrun lead me away from my home. It was the only way I could stay alive . . . and for those I cared about and had alienated to live too. Blue Cosmos had no reason to go after my loved ones if I was no longer there.

"Cagalli," Athrun said. "I'm going to lead us to a fairly secluded park where my driver is waiting. Doing what I did kind of blew up my mission so my team's gotta get out of here."

"Uh huh," I said, not really understanding or caring. I couldn't get my mind off of Tolle.

"Cagalli, just follow my lead through this. That's all you have to do. You will be safe."

Yeah, until ZAFT forces me to fight again, I thought. The mere idea of me fighting for ZAFT seemed alien and impossible, but if Athrun successfully got me out of Orb that was precisely what was going to happen.

Then I heard a shout behind me. "Big sister Cagalli!"

My heart nearly stopped.

Oh no, Stellar.

Somehow, she had found me. She had chased me down and found me.

She was coming to rescue me. Because she loved me. Because I was her family.

"Damn it!" Athrun began yanking his gun out of his holster.

Immediately, the nightmare of Stellar shooting Athrun went through my head and I grabbed Athrun's arm. "No, don't do it!"

"Cagalli?" Athrun's eyes widened in shock.

"You do it she'll-"

Before I could finish, Stellar burst through the trees and appeared behind us, almost out of breath. As I had expected, Stellar had a gun of her own. It was not Tolle's gun, Athrun had taken it himself, it was likely a pistol that belonged to my parents. "Big sister . . . Cagalli."

"Stellar," was all I could say.

"Let her go." Stellar aimed at Athrun like the professional soldier she was. "Let her go. Let my big sister go!"

"What the hell is going on?" Athrun asked.

"Stellar, don't shoot him! Please don't shoot him! He's my friend!" I shouted.

"Friends don't take their friends away!" Stellar yelled. Tears were already appearing in her eyes. "Friends don't do this! He's not your friend, Cagalli!"

Stellar's simplistic logic didn't completely apply to this situation but the stark clarity of her words brought a funny feeling to my heart. In a way, she was absolutely right, Athrun was basically kidnapping me and that was something a friend should not do to someone he considers a friend. But what Stellar was missing was how my life was in peril and if I was in peril so would Stellar and everyone else.

"H-He's trying to save my life," I finally said, as calmly as I could.

"How?" Stellar asked. "How is he saving your life? He's taking you away, big sister Cagalli!"

She looked at him. "I bet he's a Coordinator, isn't he? He's trying to take you into the war! I can't let him do that! I'm not letting you fight again, Cagalli! I can't!"

She was going to do it. In the name of protecting me she was going to do it. Kill Athrun, and I was going to lose another friend over this, and then I would be left with nothing.

"Stellar, if I don't let him take me away . . . it's hard to explain," I finally said.

"If it's so hard to explain then why are you letting him do this?" Stellar asked.

I heard Athrun suddenly whisper "In position?"

I didn't need to be a genius to know what that meant. Athrun had a sniper covering him. That sniper was going to blow Stellar's head off.

"Please don't, Athrun!" I pleaded.

Athrun gave me a look, but immediately said "Nonlethal. She's Cagalli's friend . . . sister . . . something."

"W-What? What's going on?" Stellar asked, her eyes wide in confusion and a steady realization that she was about to be fired upon.

That's when I heard a pop from the left and a dart struck Stellar right in the neck.

Stellar's eyes widened and she gasped in shock. She dropped her weapon and tried to yank the dart out of her, but the dart emptied its contents before she could.

I ran towards her but Stellar was already falling to her knees before I could get to her. I caught her just as her body went limp.

"B-Big sister C-Cagalli? Why?" Stellar forced out in a near-whisper. "It's so we all stay alive," I said. "Including you. I'm protecting you by doing this, Stellar."

"I-I don't . . . understand . . ."

Stellar's voice broke my heart. It really did. I was crying all over again holding her in arms, watching Stellar fade away into unconsciousness.

"If . . . if I don't go with ZAFT," I said, "Blue Cosmos . . . Blue Cosmos is going to keep . . . k-keep trying to kill me, Stellar. And they'll kill you too if I'm still here. The only way for you and Elle to be safe . . . is for me to leave. I'm sorry, Stellar . . . please take care of Elle for me until I come back."

"I . . . I . . ." I saw in her eyes a brief glimpse of her berserker rampage, over my use of the word 'kill', but it couldn't burn off the tranquilizer. She fell unconscious then, completely limp in my arms, lost to the world including myself.

"I-I'm really sorry." It was then when Athrun grabbed my shoulder.

"She'll live," Athrun said. "But we can't take her with us. We have to go, Cagalli."

I knew he was right. I knew he was right, but . . .

I couldn't help wishing there was a better way.

Without hurting someone else who I loved.


Athrun led me to a sedan that was his getaway car where he and the green-haired young man named Nicol both met up. The driver was someone else I didn't recognize, but it wasn't Dearka or Asta for sure. Had to be another ZAFT agent. Wouldn't surprise me if he was the sniper Athrun had talked to.

As it slowly hit me that Tolle had been killed by Athrun, and that Stellar had been tranquilized on Athrun's orders, I wanted to throw up. No matter what I could do I could not escape the war. The war had come and yanked me back in.

This was so messed up and confusing. It made my brain hurt which just made my nausea worse.

"You look pale," Athrun finally said. He was in the rear seat with me, and Nicol had taken the passenger's seat in the front of the sedan.

"I want to throw up," I said. It was clear Athrun was assuming it was entirely over what had happened to Tolle and Stellar and I was content with leaving that impression. As much as I wanted to talk about what I had learned just hours before, about how I was an experiment of my own birth father, I couldn't say a word about it. I just couldn't. I had cut off ties with everyone else over what I had learned and I didn't want to risk losing Athrun. I didn't want him to think I was a freak too.

Athrun was all I had left after the way I had melted down. I couldn't lose him. He was the one person who still cared about me that I had not completely alienated or seen killed in front of my eyes. If I pushed him away, or made me scared or queasy about me . . . I would have absolutely no one.

The fear and sadness of being alone was still gripping me. Now that I had control over my emotions, however, tenuous as it was, I knew I never wanted to feel that level of despair ever again. I could not let myself feel that I deserved pain or despair. I had promised Tolle, in practice, that I would avenge him, and destroy Blue Cosmos. If I gave into despair I would never accomplish that and just be another dead Coordinator.

In a way, what was happening to me was playing right into the hands of the revenge quest. Now I was in ZAFT's hands. They were likely bringing me to their base and I was going to be given a Mobile Suit and forced to fight. I was being brought back into the war. I would likely be pit against Blue Cosmos. I could destroy them right on the field of battle.

So even in that moment, I could not hate Athrun even though he had killed Tolle. Hating Athrun would just make me alone again. I had lost everything and all I had gained from it was my childhood friend who had done what he had to in order to save my life.

Tolle had let Athrun shoot him. He was so far gone into despair himself that he had allowed Athrun to kill him in order to protect me. He had taken the third option out of the three horrific choices he had: the scenario where he failed his mission by dying and where Athrun led me away, and Tolle's family would not come to harm because Tolle hadn't disobeyed orders. The only life lost would be Tolle's own life.

What if Tolle had known about me? The truth, that I was a concoction of my birth father's laboratory or something? Would he have made the same decision then?

No, I knew Tolle. He had said the truth and nothing but the truth back there and he cared for me so much that the choice he had to make had driven him past the brink of despair, where he preferred death over murdering me. He would have accepted me, even with knowing what I was. He would have made the same exact choice.

Athrun . . . I could not be sure.

"Cagalli." Athrun's voice jarred me from my thoughts. "I . . . I know you must hate my guts right now, and . . . please, I-"

"Athrun, I know why you did what you did," I said. "You saved my life. I'd be crazy if I hated you for it. Just don't talk to me about it. He was my boyfriend, and she . . . she was my adopted little sister."

"Okay." Athrun looked away then.

I looked at him as he was staring out the window. He looked . . . sad. I had forgotten how melancholy he looked much of the time. Even when he was a child, he was sensitive and didn't smile very often, and when he did it was usually around me when I tried to cheer him up. He always seemed like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, legitimately. You wanted to slap him but knew you would be in the wrong for slapping him, if that makes any sense at all.

"This . . . this wasn't how . . . I wanted to see you in person again," Athrun said. "I . . . I wanted somethingdifferent."

"Athrun . . ." I reached out and grabbed his arm and pulled him closer.

"Cagalli." He looked absolutely stunned.

"Just . . . just let me grab your arm for a while," I said. "I've . . . I've had a really bad day."

"Okay," Athrun said. He didn't even wince in pain and I knew I was holding him tightly. His arm wasn't big by any means but it was sinewy and strong and I took comfort from that. I needed something firm and strong. It would help me re-center myself.

The green-haired young man, Nicol, looked back at us. "I'm . . . I'm glad you're still alive to be honest, Cagalli Yamato. We were sent here to check on the Archangel's status and whether you were intending on staying a civilian or going to fight for the Earth Alliance. Athrun kinda deviated from the mission here to grab you after what Blue Cosmos tried to do to you. I'm amazed you're still alive."

"Someone saved my life," I said. "Someone who's very good at killing." I didn't have the heart to tell Athrun that the person in question was Stellar.

"We saw," Nicol said. "I'm sorry for . . . for reminding you of that. You've been through a lot today."

"You have no idea," I answered.

"Anyway . . . I'm Nicol Amalfi," Nicol said. "If . . . if you want to say anything . . . I'm here too, okay?"

He smiled at me and I know he was trying to comfort me but I didn't want Nicol's comfort, I just wanted to hold onto Athrun's arm. So I looked away from Nicol, but I didn't look at Athrun either, I just looked out the window to my left side, and watched the world pass by. My home, which I was going to leave.

The creeping realization that I was just going to ZAFT to fight for the Coordinators was not helping.

I thought I was done with the war. Blue Cosmos made it pretty clear I wouldn't be done with the war until I was dead. And now ZAFT had come to drag me into it on their side. Now I was going to kill Earth Alliance personnel, after two months protecting a bunch of Earth Alliance personnel on the Archangel.

But I wasn't going to despair again. I couldn't. I promised Tolle no despair. I promised Tolle that Blue Cosmos would cease to exist. I promised Tolle without directly saying so that his death would not be in vain. I was going to tear apart their twisted machinations no matter how hard I had to work or how long it took. I could not give up. That was an option that was no longer acceptable.

But there was more than that too. Kira was my brother, and it seemed almost beyond doubt that he was mytwin brother at that. He deserved to hear it from me personally that he was my brother. He was not going to discover this post-mortem or never find out period. I was going to return here and tell him right to his face that he was my brother.

And my Mom and Dad . . . who I had spewed such hateful words at, calling them liars and telling Mom to go to hell. And Stellar, who I had left behind in the forest, tranquilized and likely feeling betrayed by me. And Elle, who I had handed off to Mom and never saw again.

There was no way I could let things end like that. I needed to return and apologize to them all for my stupidity and callousness.

Especially to my parents. No wonder they had never told me. I had completely melted down upon knowing. They knew I would. They knew me better than I knew myself.

I had reasons to live yet. No more despair.

"Cagalli . . . are you okay?" Athrun asked me.

"I'm fine," I said.

"I'm starting to lose feeling in my arm . . . and you're not saying a word. If you have anything to say . . ."

I loosened my grip on his arm, just a little, but there was no way I could articulate what I felt to Athrun. The words weren't coming out.

"Athrun, there is nothing I can say without making everything worse. Words will only . . . they'd only make things worse because I'll screw it up. If you know me . . . truly know me . . . you'll know I don't have to say anything at all."

Athrun's free arm, his right, reached across and gripped one of my hands wrapped around his left arm. "Then I won't say anything either."

We looked at each other, just for a moment, before we both looked away.

We drove for a while in silence. I enjoyed the quiet. After everything that had happened, silence was golden. No music, no voices, windows rolled up to block all outside noise, the only discernible sound being the hum of the car's engine. That's all I wanted, all that I needed, in that moment.

"We'll . . . we'll be coming up on the extraction site shortly," Athrun said softly after what seemed like hours of silence. "You will be okay."

"If you say so," I said.

"Athrun . . ." That was Nicol, from the front. "You know they're going to press her into service as soon as possible after you make your report . . . perhaps even the moment we arrive at Carpentaria. Are you sure that's the right thing to say?"

"Nicol, Athrun, I know they're going to make me fight, okay? It's not a shock to me," I said. "I . . . I just need a few days to get over what's happened . . . and then I will be ready to fight. Okay?"

I did not like PLANT or ZAFT. My low opinion of the PLANT government still stood. I still thought PLANT was effectively controlled by ZAFT, thus turning PLANT into a military dictatorship in all but name only. But fighting for ZAFT would serve my purposes. Blue Cosmos had ruined my life, my peace. They had tried to kill me, kill my family, and forced my boyfriend into an impossible choice where his only out was his own death. All because of the mere fear that I could fight against them.

Pathetic. That's what those bigots were. Completely, hopelessly, pathetic, to be afraid of a girl a month away from her seventeenth birthday, science experiment or not.

As long as they didn't make me fight Orb, I didn't care where they sent me. I was going to make Blue Cosmospay.

"I promise you both," I said. "I will be ready to fight. And I don't break my promises."

Nicol gave me an uneasy look and he just returned to his seat. "Um . . . not the answer I was expecting . . . but okay."

"Cagalli . . ." Athrun said softly, looking shocked.

"I told you that words were just going to make everything worse. Just don't talk to me right now," I said.

"All right," Athrun said nervously.

I let the conversation end there. I just concentrated on what was going to happen in the future.

I had just survived the worst day of my life. I could, without any doubt, call it that. This was worse than Heliopolis, worse than Tassil. It was when the illusion of my safety was taken from me, when everything about my life was overturned, when I discovered what my birth father had done to me, and my boyfriend had to die in order for me to live.

If I could survive a day like this, and come out stronger . . . no one was going to kill me, no matter if it was Blue Cosmos or ZAFT. I promised myself that.

Whatever happened to me, I was going to face it, and I was going to win. That was my promise to myself, not just to Tolle.

And like I said to Athrun, Nicol, and to everyone else . . . I don't break my promises.

Everyone was going to learn that the hard way. And if they didn't like it, I honestly did not care anymore. My feelings for how people felt about me had been beaten out of me because of that day. All that mattered to me was ending this stupid war. It was clear it would not end unless I fought in it and ended it myself.

So that was what I was going to do, as impossible as the goal seemed.

That was my promise . . .

My unbreakable promise.


Alright, a lot to process here. Here's the Cliff Notes.

Dorothy Eliarez was indeed a Blue Cosmos agent. She tried to force Tolle to murder Cagalli (and it's likely the reason Dorothy had Cagalli babysit Elle was to throw off suspicion) but when Dorothy was injured when her gun blew up, Tolle and Miriallia teamed up to murder Dorothy to keep Cagalli safe. Elle, however, is completely innocent.

Yes, just like the canon, Athrun is the one to kill Tolle. Vastly different circumstances and at least Tolle got some last words out of it, though.

And for those of you who were wondering where Stellar was, well, there's your answer. She did chase them down. Didn't succeed in her mission, natch, but she did track them down.

So yeah . . . a lot just went down. Chapter 52 won't be as heavy, though. It will take place two days after chapter 51 (and, FTR, Chapters 49-51 take place one week after chapter 48 just to remind people of the time passing). Lately I've been posting on Thursdays but I think I will wait until Friday or Saturday to post so chapter 51 has time to be absorbed by you readers.

Thank you as always and until next time.