WOW! Thanks for the lovely thoughts and reviews! It was so nice seeing so many replies, I truly appreciate it! I hope you continue to enjoy, as now we read Sybil's letter...which will build up to when the two finally see one another *since* she left for York...dun, dun, dun! Thanks for reading!


Chapter Fifty-Three

Branson,

What do you mean, "goodbye"? How can you say that? I mean, how can you end a letter like that? What does that mean? Are you leaving? I thought you said you weren't—well, alright, you never promised to stay, but…but I thought…

I don't know what I thought…or what I even think…I'm so confused…

Dear Branson,

Well…I think I must say that I am glad I shocked you with my letter; I'm glad that I surprised you, because your letter certainly surprised me! What kept you from writing? I've been waiting so many weeks, wondering…

Dear Branson,

I miss you…

Dear Branson,

Thank you for replying. It's so good to hear from you, I truly mean that. In fact, your letter couldn't have arrived at a better time.

Things have been very…hectic…here, at the college. I have been working very hard, spending a bulk of my afternoons at the hospital, working with...my partner. Her name is Nurse Andrews.

Was my tone that obvious? I'm sure you could hear my disdain. Oh Branson, she's…she's…oh! I don't know where to begin, other than saying that I find the woman infuriating! It's very kind of you to say that I find good in others, but I can't seem to find any in her—and I've tried! Nurse Andrews is a hard task-master (slave driver would be more like it); I'm supposed be learning under her, learning how to be a good and proper nurse, and over the past few weeks since we started this so-called "partnership", she's had me doing nothing but cleaning!

Ugh…how petulant did that sound?

I do understand that cleanliness is important when dealing with patients, so it's not so much that I dislike cleaning…but I dislike that so far, that is all I am doing! I haven't worked with her on a patient—I haven't had any interaction with patients at all! I'm a glorified maid.

…Oh Lord, listen to me. No doubt I sound like a squealing child, having a tantrum because she's not getting her way.

The truth is…when I think about it…despite all that is happening, and how much I dislike Nurse Andrews (and those Leeds girls I mentioned in my previous letter), I still don't regret coming here. I have learned so much, under Nurse Templeton and the other instructors. I still feel like I'm making a little bit of a difference…I just wish I could make more. Does that sound selfish? Or worse…ungrateful?

I'm afraid I don't have any more "exciting" stories about dissected bodies for you; oh forgive me, Branson, I can't help but giggle a little! But please rest assured…I don't think you are a "lightweight"; it's perfectly normal to feel a tad squeamish when discussing such things, let alone being around them. I suppose that makes me the abnormal one!

Indeed, I did do very well on my last exam, thank you for asking! And no, Nurse Templeton took pity on poor Helen, the girl with the lowest score. However, Helen did have to write an extensive essay for Nurse Templeton. Perhaps a punishment worse than being "tossed out" of school? But it will be quite a while before I can breathe easy; we have exams just before our Christmas holiday, and then there are our hospital evaluations and final exams in January! Oh Lord, I am dreading those! I have been staying in the library for as long as I can every evening, trying to soak up as much knowledge as I can…because heaven knows I'm not receiving it from Nurse Andrews!

Susan, my roommate, has been both a wonderful study partner, as well as a wonderful friend. Thank you, by the way, for what you said about…well, not to sound haughty, but those other girls really have been bothersome! Oh the stories I could share—why, they could possibly fill a book! But perhaps I will whet your appetite with this? (And you mustn't tell a soul!)

…I got into a fight with one of them. A proper, physical fight!

There, that's all I'm going to say! You'll just have to wait until Christmas to hear the rest!

I am looking forward to Christmas, to returning to Downton. I…I really do miss it, despite all my complaints in the past about feeling "smothered" by it. Well, I don't miss the smothered feeling, but…I do miss my family (even Granny), and my friends—I miss Anna, and…and I miss you.

That's why I'm so glad you wrote back. I suppose I never realized how hard it would be, being away from…well, from everything that is familiar. But I am still glad I came, please, don't misunderstand me, I just…I…well, as I said, I'm glad you wrote. I've missed talking to you…I miss hearing your voice, and…well, yes, I even miss you teasing me. There, I said it. Now don't let it go to your head!

My friend, Susan, received distressing news this afternoon; her beau, James, was wounded. He lost an eye and may suffer permanent blindness in the other, but I am determined to write to Papa, begging him if need be, to contact that eye specialist he found for Mrs. Patmore two years ago, and see if he can arrange for that doctor to meet with Susan's beau. He's at some hospital in London; I'll find out where and then set to writing that letter later tonight.

Susan is probably wondering where I am; she left me to read your letter. Oh Lord, what she said…

I…well…um…it doesn't matter what she said, actually. Nothing important, I mean…nothing worth repeating…foolish talk, really, or rather…foolish "girl talk"…nothing you would be interested in hearing; like I said, nothing worth repeating—which I already said, which means I'm rambling…

I hope this letter finds you at Downton! I must say, I didn't know what to make of your closing remarks.

I mean, I am very happy to hear that all is well there; I'm glad Matthew will be on leave at Christmas, but sorry to hear that there is still no word from Bates. And yes, I did receive word from Gwen! Isn't it wonderful? Twins! But she didn't tell me their names—how sweet! Anne and Tom; and I don't know what you're talking about; Tom is a wonderful name…

Well, anyway, as I said, I do hope this letter finds you at Downton; I…I truly do hope that in a few weeks, when I come home for Christmas, I will see you…yes?

Please write me back; please, I don't care if it's only a few sentences, just…please, write me.

Thank you.

—Sybil