Despite the somber attitudes of the occupants of Hogwarts and the depressing event that was taking place, the sun shone brightly. Birds sung cheerfully, blissfully unaware of the reason why every student, teacher and house elf were standing together outside the walls of the school.

Valentine stood among her friends, emotionless. Liam and Draco pulled brave faces, refusing to shed anymore tears then they already had the previous day. Leah sobbed audibly in Blazes arms, his own face, hidden in the crook of her neck, if he had been crying, Valentine wouldn't have known.

Her eyes traveled over to the figures of Mr and Mrs Benson. They both stood silently, clad in black, not shedding a tear or saying a word.

Valentine felt a terrible pain in her chest. She supposed it must have been guilt.

I was wondering when my painful human emotions would rear their ugly head.

"We are all well aware of the reason we are here today. I know each and everyone of you will behave with respect and maturity, in light of the recent events." Dumbledore spoke in a calm, clear and loud voice. "Would the house prefects please step forward."

Eight students, four girls, four boys, all 7th years. They stepped forwards, carrying bouquets of flowers, each representing there houses with their colors. They approached the small white stone monument, carefully placing the flowers around base of it.

V alentine felt bile rise in the back of her esophagus. She fought to keep her composer, refusing to break, she was sure she'd experience worse then this in the future.

"I would now asked those of you who wish to also show your respect to step forward." Dumbledore added.

The prefects dissolved back into the crowd and one by one small groups of ordinary students stood forward, leaving flowers and small candles by the white stone. Valentine realized many of the students never would have even spoken to Olivia, yet still, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, Slytherins and Gryffindors, came forwards to pay their respects. Valentine motioned to her friends with a slight tilt of her head. Crabbe handed Liam a hardcover back book, Olivias favorite and Goyle handed Draco a tall purple, unlit candle, mulberry scented, also Olivias favorite. Valentine lead her friends through the crowd that parted for them silently. They approached the white monument, reading: In the loving memory of Olivia Benson, 1993, shall you never be forgotten.

Draco and Liam placed the book and candle down, then turned to Leah, who pried herself from Blaze, wiping at her eyes and pulling a small stuffed puppy from her robe, it had been Olivias favorite of Leah's vast collection. She stepped carefully around the flowers that covered the ground several feet in front of the white stone, and gently placed the toy atop the monument. More tears seemed appear in her eyes and she once more disappeared into Blazes side.

Before the group returned to there places , Valentine knelt down before the purple candle, removing her wand from her robes and softly spoke.

Valentines felt the thumping in her chest grow heavier, and she shoved any physical reaction down deep inside her.

"Incendio."

The wick caught fire quickly and Valentine stood back to her full height, leading the others back into the crowd.
Nobody whispered excitedly about her magic skills, the whole school was silent and Valentine wasn't sure how to process the almost suffocating silence.

"We shall forever hold Olivia Benson in our hearts in mind." Dumbledore spoke once more. "She was an intelligent and kind young witch. Her loss is tragic and yet we must help one another through this time of sadness."

Why did this have to happen? Why did it have to happen to her? What did Leah do to deserved all thoes tears? Can't things just be fair for once...

My chest...it aches do much. Is this guilt? What else could it be? I'm part of the reason why Olivias dead. There's no way to deny that. Its fact. Cold, incriminating fact. And yet everyone here believes she simply fell. Full stop. End of story. But myself and two others no different. They know what happened and that my failure is the reason why Leah cry's for hours, why Draco is silent and Liam is cold.

Sudden Valentine felt a concerning burn behind her eyes. A unfamiliar lump filling her throat.

Is this one of the symptoms of the parasite? This has never happened before...I don't like it.

Valentine blinked as her gaze grew cloudy and she suddenly knew what was happening and it made her turned on her heel and start moving through the crowd.

"I'll see you back in the common room." Valentine told Draco as she passed him. She didn't wait for him to answer, her steps growing faster each second.

She moved around the side of the school, breaking into a sprint the moment she was out of the sight of the entire school. Her legs moved desperately as she broke through the line of trees lining The Forbidden Forest.

No.

NO.

She kept running, jumping over fallen logs and ducking below low branches. She didn't stop until her foot slipped on wet moss and she scrambled to catch her footing.

Its my fault.

Its my fault.

Its my fault.

Valentine felt a strange wetness on her cheeks and for a moment she thought she was having a nose bleed. She touched the liquid on her face with a tentative finger and looked down at the clear substance.

That's a tear. Am I crying? I can't be. That's impossible. I don't cry. I never cry. Its impossible.

More and more flooded down her cheeks and Valentine panicked, pressing her palms to her eyes, wanting it all to stop. If this is what crying felt like, she never wanted to do it ever again.

"Please." She whispered, choking on her tears. "Just stop. Just stop."

Her voice dissolved to sobs and she covered her mouth hopelessly. She didn't want to hear her own voice shaking pitifully.

How is this happening? I don't cry. I don't cry.

She felt her body tremble in a way that made her feel as if she had no control of herself. She hated it.

The tears continued, falling from her bright blue eyes and sobs broke though the barrier her hand created. She was confused, and angry and sad and she didn't know what to do with the unrestrained emotion that likely had been building up for close to thirteen years.

"What...do I...do?" She crumbled to her knees, back sliding down the rough surface of the tree behind her.

She bit into the soft flesh of her hand, hoping to cease her weeping, but her body seemed to have other ideas. She was intelligent, talented, gifted in so many ways, yet there she was, unable to halt the onslaught of tears.

The tears simply continued to fall and did so for another several minutes, that to Valentine felt like hours.

Why? Why I am crying? I'm so confused.

She heard foliage break behind her and her head whipped around to see one of the very last people she had expected.

"What do you want?" She spat angrily, her voice out right betraying her with a tremble.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Severus Snape said, his plain voice not matching his arrogant words.

"Leave me alone." She growled, still attempting to hold in her woeful sobs.

"So, you can cry some more?"

"You think I want this! You think I want to cry!" Valentine voice suddenly broke into a scream. "It doesn't make any sense. I don't cry. I never cry."

"Your being over dramatic."

"You don't understand." Her voice was swallowed by the painful lump in her throat. "I never cry. This is the first time I've cried since I was a infant."

Snapes eyes widen slightly, his mouth remaining a taunt frown.

"Its doesn't make sense. I don't cry. I just don't." She words were once again stolen by a loud sob. "I don't understand what's happening to me."

Valentine hopelessly wiped away her tears aggressively.

"I don't understand it. And I hate it."

"Its seems rather obvious to me." Snape arched a casual brow. "Your crying because your friend died."

"You don't get it!" Valentine staggered to her feet, leaning against the tree heavily. "My uncle practically abuses my cousin and I and I don't cry. I have physically injured innocent people and I don't cry. I have destroyed mental states, self esteems and felt guilty and I don't cry. I have never met either of my parents and I don't cry. I was told I would die in a year...I don't cry."

Snape watched her knees shaking as she forced herself to stand, as she tired to suck in breaths, to stop her crying. But those sorts of talents came by experience, the kind of experience he held. And for someone who had never cried before, she wouldn't be able to cease her tears, no matter how much of a prodigy she was.

Snape felt his chest twinge irritably. This child. This ordinarily sarcastic, egotistical, sadistic child was absolutely pitiful. And he was damned if he'd let her get under his skin simply because she was a emotionally unstable thirteen year old.

"Oh, stop it, you foolish child." He growled. "What happened to being a Lestrange?"

"I'm trying." She choked out. "But I can't."

"You knew exactly what you were doing when you agreed to all of this. Its your fault if you can't handle the pressure of your own actions." Snape spat cruelly.

"The pressure of my actions? What about you? Who wanted to die after his 'true love' died protecting her child?" Valentines words were harsh, yet tears still dribbled down her cheeks.

"How dare you!" Snape howled, immediately enraged.

He march froward and grabbed her robes, holding her several inches from the ground, shaking her violently.

"Do it." Valentine hissed, glaring at him, her tears making her eyes shine brilliantly. "Hit me. Kill me. Be the tyrant the students know you as, or the Death Eater you once were."

Snape threw her to the ground, as if she had burned him.

"You speak too often of things you don't understand." He ground out in quiet rage. "How about you talk about Olivia Benson instead? You blame yourself don't you? If course you would. You pathetic little girl, pretending to be a big scary monster, but inside you'll always be a weak minded brat."

"I see you went with tyrant." Her sobs mysteriously subsiding, but silent tears still clouding her vision. "And what happened to Olivia wasn't my fault. She killed herself. That was her choice. Maybe if I was stronger, smarter, I could have stopped her, but I couldn't and that's that. I'm not pathetic. I'm not foolish. I know what I sighed up for. I don't need to approval of some depressed old man who spends his days making children miserable."

"If I could kill you, Lestrange..." Snapes usually cast iron voice shook in anger.

"Get in line, professor." Valentine starred up at him from the forest floor, raven curls slicing though her view. "And bring a book, it might be a long wait."

There was several long moments in which the two simply glared at one and another before Valentine gave a surprised gasp.

She bolted up into a sitting position and touched her blotchy face.

"I...I stopped crying. I stopped." Valentine found herself wearing a wide smiling. "I'm not crying anymore."

She jumped to her feet, blinking her blood shot eyes.

"I though it would never stop." She sighed heavily, falling against the tree behind her. She dropped her arm over eyes. "Emotions are ridiculously illogical and inconvenient."

"It pains me greatly to say it, but I agree with you." Snape grumbled. "Are you finished your little break down?"

"I hope so." Valentine pulled a hand though her knotted hair. "I do not want to do that again. Ever again. Now, I have to return to the common room before I'm missed."

"I suggest washing your face first, Lestrange."

"What?" Valentine raised a hand to her face. "Right. I don't imagine I look all that great."

"That's an under statement." Snape grumbled.

"Thanks for your input." Valentine rolled her eyes and turned to leave the forest. "Oh. Um, professor?"

"What the hell is it now?" He snapped.

"Thanks." Valentine shot him a half smile over her shoulder, to which he scowled.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

Valentine gave a small laugh.

"See you later, professor."