I own Anya. Nothing else. Reviewers: you guys rock. I'm sorry for these chapters being so spaced out, but college apps take a lot of time. Apparently. So, anyways, feel free to comment, scream, shout, or vent at me, and remember that the freedom of speech is highly enforced. Rock on. P.S. I apologize for my translated Swedish in advance.
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"Mr. Northman."
Russell's drawling Mississippi accent broke Eric and I out of our tight quarters, each of us stepping back a couple paces to stare at the short king who stood in the dining room doorway. He looked amused, as if human-vampire relationships were somewhat of a joke to him. I put on a blank face.
Eric bowed his head a bit, "Your Majesty?"
"I have an errand to run." With this, Edgington put on some dark sunglasses ironically enough, "And I'll be gone for some time. I hope this doesn't displease you."
"Not at all," Eskimo put on his suck up/flirty face on, putting that seductive tone in his voice "Anything I can assist you with?"
A smirk graced the king's face, "Amuse Talbot for me. Ask him to give you the tour."
Okay? That's a favor? Consort boy must get REALLY bored around here if tours are exciting...
"As you wish, my liege."
The Mississippian turned to leave, then twisted around, staring me in the eye with a raised brow, "Oh, and Anya...I'm glad you're feeling better." He laughed one of his guffawing roars, "I've asked the cooks to take day lilies off our menu."
I blinked.
Eric elbowed me in the side subtly. It still hurt.
"Oh," I mumbled, straightening myself, "Many thanks, your...uh, majesty."
He gave a little nod, then obnoxiously strode out of his mansion's front door with his very spiffy glasses on. How cool is he?
I stared after him, aware that Eric was doing the same thing. Russell Edgington was definately a strange little vampire. Very cunning, very over the top, very...short. But apparently we had both made his good list, so that was...convienent. I couldn't decide if I liked him or not.
Smiling, I glanced up at Eskimo, "Guess we have a tour to get to, then."
"Låt spelet börja," he murmured.
* - About an hour later - *
Okay. So we were in a room. Filled with antiques. With Talbot. For the past hour.
I felt like screaming.
Everything so far had been, "Look at this, look at that, hey, you're really sexy, look at this!" Commence the faux-bromance.
It was nauseating, and totally unlike Eric. The fake smiles, the once-overs... AGH! IT WAS TOO MUCH!
And goodness knows Talbot didn't help, EVEN THOUGH he's technically in a relationship with Russell. What's a little romance between his husband's collegue?
Unfortunately, all of this left me being the awkward third human wheel, who was not only left out on the romantic scene but also on the species scene.
Yay me. The eternal butt of the jokes.
I was left to absently pick at ancient old stuff, hoping I didn't break anything. Talbot would probably kill me if I did with looks he's been giving me.
"Hmmm... And what is this?" Eskimo ho-hummed, picking up a scroll, examinating it with a wicked look. That's right, folks, here comes the smirk.
Consort boy returned the wicked look after glancing at Eric's item, "Japanese erotica from the 16th century. Exquisite detail." Cue the underlying, suggestive, accented tone here.
Please stop. Please.
Eric chuckled, "You learn any tricks?"
What a male thing to say. Seriously? You learn any tricks? Yeah, there was this secret that was lost in the 18th century during the Puritanical...purge. Surrrre.
"Eric," Talbot grinned, his dark eyes glittering, "You know as well as I, there's nothing new except someone new."
Eric, the thousand-year old VIking and ultimate player,.. laughed and gave him a once over. Flirtaliciously.
IS NO ONE ELSE NOTICING SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
Apparently not. Just me, the third awkward wheel.
"Well, that confirms it," I snapped a hundred-year old Bible shut, "All men are perverts, no matter the species. Must be that freaky Y chromosome."
"Your human speaks of things she doesn't know of yet," Talbot raised an eyebrow, musing, "She's quite naive."
"I'm standing right here, you know!"
Ignoring me, the Greek continued, facing Eskimo with an interested look, "Why have you not taken her yet?"
So blunt, so crude, so...rude. God, he was rude.
Maybe I can just go all demonic on Talbot, and 'accidently' kill him. Oops, sorry I ripped off your face. My bad.
Eskimo caught a smirk again, "I prefer virgin blood, so in order to not be short in supply..." He pointedly looked in my direction, giving a nod. "However," he locked eyes with me, "That might change soon."
Smoulder, smoulder.
"Hey!" I yelped indignantly. I don't THINK so.
"Well, if you like, tell me when," Talbot exchanged the sex-smirk with Eric, "Three could be a party."
Definately going to rip his face off.
"I think I'll start her off slow," Eskimo grinned decisively, "Perhaps she'll move onto three her second time."
And his face too. Stupid, idiotic, beautiful, douchey, sexy, ugly, worthless Eskimo face. AGH!
I decided to hum loudly to myself to drown them out. I didn't really want to hear this; I wonder why...
Humming the Lion King's 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight?', I opened a cabinet, examining the old contents while hoping for something interesting. Like a bar of gold that I could steal or maybe a nice sword. Something cool and worth a lot.
Skimming the cabinet's shelves, I saw nothing really eye-catching. Some more scrolls [egad!], a few goblets [of fire?], and some random statuettes.
Oh. And a crown. That was interesting.
It was silver, kind of fashioned almost in an upside-down style, full of engravings. It was beautiful.
I stared at it for a second when I started to smell something behind me. Something spicy and filled with regret and anger. Saucy.
Eric leaned over me to gently pick up the crown, looking it over with a concentrated expression on his face. If only I could hear what he was thinking...
The saucy-spicy smell grew stronger, filling my nose to the maximum. It was delicious and tragic.
"And this?" he murmured, his eyes raking over it.
The slicked back dark-haired Greecian sidled up next to him, giving Eskimo a curious look, "Some random tribal crown. Must've been a hundred of them. Uh, this one's Sythian, I think."
A beat of silence passed.
Eric's deep bass, "Viking."
He stood there for a few seconds, as if recalling some past memory, cradling the crown in his hands lightly.
I wonder if he knew the crown's owner. I wouldn't be surprised.
Hey, from the smell of it, some major regret fest was going on unknown beknownst to the visible eye. You just needed an emotional nose like mine to sniff it out.
Behold the one perk of demons. I can smell you out. Hide your kids, hide your wife!
...Or not.
"It's beautiful," Eskimo finally said, his icy eyes still on the Viking crown. So simple. So sweet.
Talbot kept his curious look, "Quite." He looked as if he were ready to ask about the questionable moment that had just happened. Suspicions were forming in Consort-boy's evil little mind.
Peeking at Eric's expressionless face, I could see he wasn't willing to divulge.
Distraction time.
"I'm super hungry..." I complained in my whiniest voice ever, trying to take the consort's attention over my vamp, "I didn't have breakfast this morning." Cue the fiery glare to Talbot, "And I don't want flowers."
Mission distraction success! Talbot, annoyed, snapped a laser beam of hate straight in my direction.
"Don't worry," he sneered, adjusting his red blazer, "I think I have some rocks in the backyard you can crunch on in the meantime. The cooks might just fetch them for you."
With that, he made towards the door, huffing, leaving me and Eric to follow. In my superb irritating distraction, the Viking had taken the time to replace the prized crown back on its pedestal, giving it one, last longing gaze.
I waited for him at the door, walking right next to him when he caught up. My arm brushed his, and I slightly leant my head on his shoulder, signalling I was there for him. At least, that's what I hope it conveyed.
If not... well... dang.
His light ocean eyes darted down to me, softening, when he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me tight against him. We followed the still huffing and ticked off Talbot striding down the hall, leading to the main foyer.
That should have been unexciting. Uninteresting. A foyer. Ho-hum.
However...
It wasn't.
Russell was back, smirking as the head of the house, totally in his element. Even Bill was there too, oddly restrained as he might be. That wasn't the shocker though.
As we entered the doorway, we saw...
Sookie.
"Anya?" My blond cousin's brown eyes bulged at the sight of me, her dress bedraggled and hair amess. Eric's arm tightened suffucatingly around my waist. I was speechless as Russell exchanged glances between the two of us.
"FanTASTIC!" He uproarious laughed, holding all the cards in one fell swoop.
So much for keeping a low profile.
