Trigger warning this chapter contains themes of sexual abuse.
Chapter 53
"Hello Annie." Cynthia smiles.
"What do you want?" I ask her afraid.
"Good you remember me." She smiles. "Well for starters I want to get Finnick back for putting me on this list." She rolls her eyes. "I can't get my drugs or my victors."
"What does that have to do with me?" I ask although I have a feeling I know the answer already.
"Finnick loves you more than anything or so I'm told. If I hurt you, I hurt him besides, I have always wanted you Annie." She leans close and whispers "You're going to be a good little girl and come with me."
"I- I
"We can do this the easy way Annie."
She grasps my neck and kisses me not gentle at all. It feels strange because just a few seconds ago Finnick's soft lips were against mine and they were soft and delicate but hers are tough and invasive.
She stops kissing me.
"Or the hard way."
"Please don't hurt me." I whimper.
"I'm not going to hurt you persay." She smiles. "Now let's go. I'm on floor fifteen." She says and grabs me forcefully before I can object.
She heads to the elevator and presses the button, we don't get taken to a suite we're in a hallway that has many rooms. It looks like a hotel. She uses a key card to open the door to her room. The room isn't anything special it is a standard apartment except it has the Capitol flare.
She pushes me on the couch and sits next to me. She leans in and kisses me and it is just like I remembered, fast and hard. It hurts the back of my throat by how much she is forcing her tongue down it. She stops kissing me and smiles.
"Just as good as I remember it. You taste so sweet. It would be better if you reciprocated but that's okay."
I don't know what to say probably because I'm too afraid and wondering what she is going to do next. I feel like it will be something sexual.
"Do you want to see what Finnick did to me?" She asks playfully.
"I… what do you mean?"
"You get branded when you get put on that list Annie." She smiles and starts to take her shirt off and I look at the floor.
She picks up my chin and then slaps me.
"You're going to look at me Annie Cresta when I show you how Finnick Odair scarred me." She says in a threatening tone. I don't look up though because I don't want to see her.
She grabs my arm and I look up, she still has a bra on but I see the scar she was talking about. It's starts on her lower pelvis and goes across her hip and the rest disappears into her pants.
She grabs my hand and has me run my fingers over it. It feels rough and raised.
"Your dear Finnick caused this and that's not all." She pushes her hand off of me and starts to unbutton her pants.
I look away again.
"I like your innocence Annie, truly I do, but right now we aren't playing that game. I want you to see me." She smiles
"Game?" I say and look at her confused and can see her in her underwear. The rest of the scar leads to her private area and all the way down to her right foot.
"Because I sexually abused you'." She rolls her eyes. "But it doesn't matter now. What do you think of it Annie?"
"Well if you didn't break the rules maybe-
"Shhh." She says and presses her pointer finger on my lips. "Don't turn this around on me Annie, you could've come with me and none of this would've mattered, but that didn't happen." She smirks. "Tell me Annie do you like these scars?"
I swallow hard.
"Not really."
"Oh that's too bad." She smiles.
"Why is that?"
"Because I want you to have matching ones like me." She says gleefully. "So Finnick can always be reminded of what he did to me."
"No please don't." I say.
"Don't worry Annie. I will make sure you feel good first." She smiles. "I want to know something before we start."
"What would that be?" I ask barely getting the sentence out.
"You seem so innocent but you're with Finnick."
"What do you-
"I'm just curious if you have ever had fun time with him. After all you don't need to buy him because you love each other." She says in a mocking tone.
"Why do you care?" I whisper
"Well just curious, we could talk about him. It doesn't sound like you've had fun time before but, believe me Annie almost everyone in the Capitol can share their stories between the sheets with the great Finnick Odair." She smiles.
"Well-
"You do know it wasn't always the great Finnick Odiar."
I don't say anything mostly because I'm afraid.
"Yes. The nickname got coined after he started being with many Capitol woman." She smiles "You picking up what I'm putting down." She moves hair off of my shoulder and sits next to me again.
"What are you going to do to me?" I whisper.
"What I would've done if I bought you."
"No I don't-
"I'm not asking Annie I'm telling." She smiles and strokes my hair.
She then grabs my arm forcefully and drags me to a chair.
"I'm in my underwear let's see you in yours."
"No." I say.
She comes around with a pocket knife.
"Do it. After all you want to feel good before you get burned right?"
"No just burn me and get it over with." I say.
"Well, I want you to feel good or at least for you to lose some of your innocence." She smirks. "Now take your clothes off." She says and kisses me forcefully again. She pushes me so I'm on the floor.
"Get up and make it good Annie." She smiles.
"No." I whimper.
"You are so pretty." She says but then I feel white hot pain on my face. I come to the realization that she hit me.
"I wouldn't want to scar you're perfect face, just do it Annie." She says with a devilish smile.
"No." I say shaking my head and I can feel my eyes stinging with tears.
She sighs
"I didn't want it to come to this." She says and pulls out the pocket knife. I expect pain but all I feel is my clothes falling to the floor.
I try and cover myself. I don't want her to see me in my underwear no has before. I feel violated.
"Don't worry Annie I'm not going to hurt you… yet." She smiles.
"What do you mean yet?" I whisper.
She isn't listening she is circling around me like pray.
"You are very pretty one of the better victors." She places her hands on my shoulders and runs them down my arms to my stomach. "You have such smooth skin. You remind me of that red head. She had soft creamy skin too. Although she didn't like to play." She whispers in my ear. I have a feeling she is talking about Talia. Looks like she is part of the deal too.
She runs her fingers from my stomach back up to my chin. I can feel my chin trembling.
"You're skin is so soft and warm. There's not a scratch on it. She moves the knife to neck. "Not even from when that girl almost strangled you to death." She smiles.
She puts the knife on my cheek to make sure I will look at her.
She gets close and brushes my hair off my shoulder and I flinch away.
"Stop fighting it Annie."
"I-
I feel pain and see blood dripping down. She cut me somewhere.
"Why are you doing this?" I say with a tear rolling down my cheek.
"Like I said to hurt Finnick but, I have always wanted you." She says and kisses me. She puts her hands on me and scratches my torso, neck, and chest. I can feel blood starting to drip down me.
"Much better." She smiles and kisses my neck where there was a large gash and it feels like she is sucking out my blood. She pushes me back down on the chair and sits on my lap and forces her tongue down my throat.
"I love the taste of your lips" she says and bites my bottom lip and smiles at me.
"Please stop." I say.
"You're right we should. Why don't I take you to the other room. I have all kinds of fun things in there." She smiles.
"What kind of fun things?" I ask afraid.
"Some toys and various things. It might hurt at first but I promise to make you feel good." She smiles and stars dragging me to a room. I don't want to know what she has in there. I know she is going to sexually assault me but she made it sound like she was going to hurt me first. She bought Finnick and Talia, I wonder if this is what she did to them.
She gets up and starts to drag me from the chair but I fight her. She doesn't care she slaps my face hard at least three times and I can feel it burning. I want to touch it but she is holding my hands tightly.
"Stop fighting me Annie I don't want to punish you any more than I already planned." She smiles devilishly. She then pushes me to the ground. I fall to the ground hard and can feel my forehead bleeding like a faucet. "Let's go Annie." She grabs my ankle and starts dragging me to her fun room.
"No stop." I say.
She stops and gets on top of me.
"Look what you did Annie." She says and strokes my hair.
She says and wraps her hands around my neck and kisses me. It is getting hard to breathe. She let's go and I gasp for air. I see spots it takes me a minute to realize her hands have started to wonder.
"No stop." I cry out but she doesn't do anything.
"Don't worry Annie the fun has just begun." She drags me up and doesn't put her arms around me but I'm too afraid to run.
"Good you're learning." She says
I start crying.
"Don't cry we haven't done anything worthy of your tears." She says and digs her nails into my thighs and I can see the blood.
"Now let's go." She smiles.
"No please stop."
"Shhhh." She says and presses her fingers to my lips again. "You want to stay here? Well as you wish Annie."
She starts kissing me and pushes me down. She laps the blood on the way down. She digs her nails into my inner thighs and then licks it. She spends a decent time on my inner thighs and she makes the scratches bleed by pressing harder.
"Please stop." I whimper although I know it is useless.
"Okay you really really want to see my fun room don't you." She smiles.
I don't say anything all I can feel is the tears streaming down my face.
She grabs my arm and drags me to her 'fun' room and opens the door and I see all kind of strange things in here. I wouldn't call it a fun room I would call it a torture chamber. I don't want to know what some of those things do.
She pushes me to the ground and closes the door and locks it. She smiles.
"I always wished I could take you in here and now that I have you I don't know where to start." She smiles and says in a playful voice.
"Ooo I know why don't I get you warmed up first."
She pushes me on a table and starts to kiss me and trails her way down my stomach.
"Stop! Stop!" I yell out.
She hits me.
"Please don't make me restrain you Annie. You're so beautiful I don't want to do that's." She smooths my hair." I start crying.
"Shhh it's alright Annie. I will make it feel nice. After all this is over some of your innocence will be lost."
"No!" I shout.
She goes back to kissing me and spends a minute on my belly button and goes back to my thighs.
I wiggle around trying to get her to stop.
"I love it when you struggle." She says and I can feel her hands on my underwear. She tarts to slide them off when we a hear a bang.
"Dammit why did he have to be on time today." She mutters. She gets off me and smiles. "I have some business take care of. So to ensure you don't go anywhere we'll use these." She says and pulls out handcuffs, she grabs my right hand and cuffs me to the table.
She kisses me forcefully.
"Be right back my pet, make a sound and you will be making it worse." She smiles.
She leaves the door open probably seeing if I will cry out for help.
"I have what you need let's just get this over with Cynthia so I can leave." I hear someone say. The voice sounds familiar it is another victor. It's just one I haven't talked too much.
I look down at my body and start crying hard. I see all the cuts and know I will be bruised tomorrow.
"You don't sound very happy to see me? Cashmere annoying you today."
Cashmere? It take me awhile to comprehend who this must be. Gloss. That's why I didn't recognize the voice he barely talks. I wonder what he is doing here. I don't really care. I think Gloss will be the only person able to get me out of this mess. He never talks but, I don't think he will let me get taken advantage of. Even if he is from District One.
"No."
"Tributes good this year?"
"They're good every year." He says. His voice has no emotion it never does.
"Then what is it?"
"Nothing."
"You can leave if you want. I was actually in the middle of something." She smiles.
"Fine by me. I'll just come back later to give you the information you were seeking." He says
"Fine." She smiles.
I can hear him heading to the door and can feel the sense of freedom slipping away.
I whimper loudly.
"What was that?" He says
"Nothing I just have someone in my fun room."
"I recognized that sound though who's in there."
"No one you would know."
"I know that whimper."
How can you know a whimper. I think to myself. I have cried a lot in front of him and the other victors maybe that is why.
"Who do you think it is?"
"I don't know, but you not telling me is giving me a bad feeling."
"Well I can assure you it's nothing."
"Show me." He says.
"Fine. See nothing." I notice she has me handcuffed me so know one will be able to see me.
"Whatever." He says unamused and walks to the door.
Gloss doesn't leave though.
"Something wrong." She asks she sounds annoyed.
"Nothing."
I'm about to say something and she knows this so she hits my stomach hard with something and I yelp in pain.
I can feel his foot steps coming over here.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"Having some fun." She smiles.
"I know you're into that weird stuff but I know someone is in here and it sounds like you're hurting them."
"That's what we call foreplay." She smiles.
He looks at her.
"Alright don't have a cow." She says.
"Here." She says and shows me me to him.
"Holy shit what are you doing to her?" He asks and his voice is still in monotone.
"Having fun like I said."
"But that's Annie." He says and looks at me confused. Then he looks to Cynthia.
"So." She shrugs
"You can't buy her Cynthia or anyone for that matter. I don't care what you do to other people, but you can't do this to her she is Finnick's untouchable."
Untouchable I think to myself. He makes it sound like Finnick owns me.
"Well that's true even Finnick hasn't been able to touch this perfect angel." She says and walks over to me and strokes my hair. She kisses my cheek causing me to flinch away.
Gloss looks at me and back at her. I can't read his face because his face never holds an expression. I am getting a bad feeling that he is going to leave me here and let her do whatever she wants to me.
She starts to run her hand down my torso and he walks over to her and grabs her hand.
"What does it matter what Finnick has or hasn't done? All that matters is you can't touch her. What you have done to her could be punishable by death."
"Please." She rolls her eyes. "I won't die because Finnick gets to call the shots and we both know he won't let anyone die by his hands." She smiles and her hand keeps moving downwards. He must not be holding on the tightly.
I can feel her on my underwear again. I can also feel Gloss' grip tighten around her wrist.
"Stop." He says.
"Why do you care?" She asks.
He looks at me. I must say I am curious as well.
"Because it isn't right."
"Who cares."
"I do." He says and pushes her away from me. He tries to pull me up but I fall down because he didn't see the handcuffs.
"Give me the key." He says still in monotone. How does he do that.
"Nah." She smirks.
"Give it to me." He says and let's go of me.
"Find don't be so dramatic." She says "Here." She throws them and he catches them and unlocks my arm. He reaches for my hand but I flinch away.
"It's alright Annie. She won't hurt you now and I'm not going to hurt you." He says in his dead pan voice but I can tell he means it. He holds out his hand and I reach for it slowly.
He is strong but his hands are soft and gentle I would've assumed them to rough. We are almost out the door when he looks me up and down. I think his eyes hold pity.
"Gloss you're going to take her away." Cynthia says intrigued
"I'm not leaving her here with you, if I did I'm sure Finnick would let Snow kill you."
"I just find it interesting is all."
He sighs
"Why?"
"You taking her out of here like that people are going to think you did something."
"I'd rather have that then have her stay with you doing god knows what to her. And I couldn't live with myself knowing I could stop it." He says.
"But if Finnick hears about it-
"My former comment still stands. Besides I'm sure Annie wouldn't let him do anything stupid."
She smiles and then Gloss leaves takes me from her fun room and we head to the elevator. I hold his hand like a lost child.
He let's go of my hand while we are waiting.
"Finnick isn't there is he?" He asks referring to him being in the suite.
"No." I whisper.
"That's what I though most of the victors aren't." He pauses "You can come back with me." I can't tell what he is thinking because his voice has no emotion. Even when he was talking with Cynthia he didn't have an emotion. He helped me so he must have felt something.
"But-
"Unless you want to be alone."
"Not really." I say looking at the floor.
The elevator door opens and we get on. He doesn't say anything else like usual. A thought then occurs to me.
"Actually I don't want to go back with you."
"I'm not going to hurt you Annie if that is what you're-
"No it's her."
"You mean my sister." He answers quickly he must know I'm afraid of her or at the very least don't like her.
"Yes." I say and look at the floor.
"Don't worry she's not there." He says in a strange tone maybe it is because he is usually monotone. I think it is annoyance. Something tells me it isn't directed at me.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive my sister and the other victors are looking for sponsors which really means they are partying with them."
"Oh." I pause "And why aren't you?"
"Didn't feel like it. I'm not going to make you do anything Annie."
I look at him strangely he is nothing like his sister. He sees me looking at him but doesn't seem to care.
The elevator dings and we walk out. The floor is slightly smaller than ours but other than that it's pretty similar.
He takes me to the kitchen and has me sit on one of the stools. He touches my chin so I will look at him. His face is almost touching mine. His eyes are focused on my head wound. His brown eyes hold concentration and I think worry. He is so close I can smell him. He smells like cinnamon I think is the best way to describe it. It is a dry but sweet smell and a tad musky. I wonder if he uses something to make him smell sweet. One of the jobs in District One is a perfumer.
He may never show emotion but he has visible smile lines on his face. I wonder what he does in District One. It's strange to think victors have other lives than here in the Capitol.
I never noticed how strong he was but it is easier when he is up close like this, to see his build and his muscles. Although he is strong his fingers are gentle as he looks at my wounds.
He touches the back head and I wince. His finger tips hold blood.
"You fall and hit your head?" He asks.
"She pushed me down a few times and I tried to run away but she-
"You can stop explaining." He says. I think he knows talking about it is upsetting me.
"Why didn't I feel it?"
He shrugs.
"Probably the adrenaline like how you don't notice most of your wounds in the arena."
"I wasn't really bleeding." I mutter.
"You broke your leg if recall and you need that to swim which you did for hours." He says still looking at my head.
"It's not as bad as it feels." His hand also moves to the gash on my forehead. He touches it gently and I wince again.
"I don't think you have a concussion but it doesn't hurt to check we should-
"No." I say.
"Head injuries are serious Annie."
"No."
He sighs but doesn't say anything.
He walks to the kitchen and gets at cloth and comes back over and starts to clean the blood off my face. The cloth is warm but has soap so it stings a little.
He doesn't say anything and I feel awkward because he is still inches from my face. I don't think he cares because he doesn't usually talk. It just occurred to me that I am in my underwear in front of him. I try to cover myself and I think he notices.
"I probably should've gotten you clothes first." He says and looks at me. "But you have lots of cuts and I know you didn't see your face but it is covered with blood."
"Oh."
"I would offer you a shower but I don't think you should go into the rooms. Especially when they are shared."
"Shared?"
"There are too many victors. They have a dividing wall but it doesn't really matter." He says.
"Boo hoo you have too many victors and you have to share." I say with disgust.
I think I can see him smile but it's so subtle I can't be sure.
"You wish you could have a higher floor." I say with disgust.
"It all means the same to me but the other ones agree with that statement."
He continues wiping and after a few minutes he stops.
"Hold that there while I get a bandage." He says and heads to the rooms.
I get up and look at myself in the fridge. I have lots of blood dripping down me and I can see her fingerprints from the blood on my stomach.
"You can cry if you want too." His voice startles me.
"I don't feel like crying." I say truthfully maybe it is just because I'm with him. I know once I see Finnick I will probably cry or am alone. I think it is because I don't feel comfortable around him.
He nods and hands me some clothes. They are just the Capitol clothes that are in all the rooms.
"Thank you." I say but don't put them on I want to get rid the rest of the blood. I wish he would let me shower or at least take me to my floor.
He takes the cloth from my hand and puts a bandage there.
He looks at me.
"We should probably get rest of the blood off shouldn't we."
I nod.
"Here." He says and gives the cloth back. I start to wipe my torso. He probably gave it to me because he knows I don't want to be touched.
"She got you good." He says.
I don't answer. I'm starting to get the crying feeling but I don't want to cry in front of him.
"I guess." I say.
Do not cry. I think to myself
"You have some on your back do you care-
"Just get rid of it." I say
He does and when most it is gone I put on the clothes.
"You should hold that there." He says referring to my neck wound. "That you might need a doctor to look at."
"I don't-
"You're afraid it will get back to Finnick faster."
"Maybe." I whimper.
"Don't worry he won't hurt her."
"I know." I say annoyed.
He nods and then sits on the sofa. I guess he is done talking.
"What were you doing there?" I ask.
"Cynthia has me tell her things." He says and I walk closer to him.
"What kind of things."
"Classified things." He smiles "but after this little debacle I don't think I will be helping her anymore."
I nod
It's silent for a bit I don't think Gloss finds this awkward because he doesn't usually talk with people.
A thought occurs to me though. I have a feeling this will be the only chance I get to talk to him. I want to know if the rumors are true.
"Is it true what they all say?"
"You're going to have to be more specific Annie." He says
"That you didn't volunteer that it was set up."
He studies me.
"I always wonder how people find out about these things. I know I didn't tell them."
"How could you, you never talk."
He shrugs
"I only do when something is worth saying."
"You never show emotion either. Are you just dead inside? Is that what the Hunger Games did to you?"
He rolls his eyes. "I'm dead inside obviously or I would've let her do terrible things to you." He says sarcastically. I didn't even know he was aware of the concept of sarcasm. "I act differently in the Capitol then back home."
"Why?"
"When you show weakness it gives someone the chance to hurt you."
I look at him strangely.
"That what Cashmere does?"
"Cashmere does lots of things to lots of people." He says unamused.
"Why is she like that?"
"Because she is." I think there is more but he isn't going to tell me.
It's silent.
"Well so you didn't volunteer."
"Correct but you and the other victors already knew that."
He say and looks off unamused and we sit in silence again.
"So it's because Cashmere said no to that deal that's why-
Gloss cuts me off by laughing which catches me off guard why would this be funny.
"You victors always get the reason why wrong."
"So it's not because she said no to Snow's deal."
"Of course not Snow did it because he wanted to. Plain and simple."
"That's it?"
"Why does that surprise you so much Annie?" He asks
"I don't know he usually has a reason for these-
"He does, he did it for Capitol citizens."
"So he did rig it for you to win."
"Of course not. He can't do that."
I want to ask why but I don't think he would tell me.
It's silent again.
"Cashmere only cares about herself if I'm honest with you Annie I doubt she would've cared if I died in that arena." Gloss says abruptly. I wonder if he has ever said this to anyone before.
"That's terrible."
"That's Cashmere." He smiles with disgust. "The Capitol paints us as the perfect brother and sister but really we can't stand each other. We barely know anything about each other. I don't even know her favorite color."
"That's sad."
"Not really."
"Then why do you hang around with everyone from District One and Two?"
"Because that's what's expected of me."
I wonder what he means by that.
It's silent and he looks at me strangely.
"You're not going to start screaming are you?" He asks.
"No." I say angrily.
"Relax Annie I wasn't trying to upset you."
"Yeah right." I mutter.
"I was just concerned because I'm pretty sure Finnick is the only person can fix you."
"Mmh well I didn't know I was broken." I say angrily.
"Don't lie to yourself Annie you're broken."
I open my mouth to object.
"We all are."
I look at him strangely.
His eyes flicker to the clock.
"You should go they'll be back soon. Finnick might be back already from a client." He says.
I think he doesn't want to talk about this anymore. I wonder what he means by expected of me though.
"How did you know-
"When you spend a lot if time on the main floor you figure it out. You wouldn't know because…" He trails off probably not wanting to say you're not allowed.
"You're not like the rest." I say.
Gloss looks at me strangely.
"That's because I don't want to be."
I look at him for a few minutes.
"Thanks. I guess." I say.
He doesn't say anything just nods. I guess that isn't worth responding to. I get up and head to the elevator.
I get off the floor and see Finnick he looks worried.
"Annie what happened to your forehead and neck. Did someo-
He gets cut off by me hugging him tightly. I start to cry but it's silent. I think Finnick can feel the tears dripping on his shirt.
We get to my room and I start sobbing. I think I only kept it together with Gloss because I knew he couldn't help me like Finnick could.
"Annie how did you get those cuts?" He asks.
I don't answer I just hold him.
"Annie what's wrong?"
"I… don't" I hold onto him tighter and sob for what feels like a long time.
"Annie you're starting to scare me, Can you please tell me what's wrong?" He asks gently.
"It was her."
"Who?"
"Cynthia."
"Cynthia?" He says confused.
"She took me away… she threatened me… she…" I start crying.
"It's okay Annie you're safe here." He kisses my forehead and I grip him tighter.
"It's okay but why did she let you go?"
"I… Gloss… took me away before she could..."
"Why was he there?"
"I don't know but I'm glad he was there." I hold him.
"It's okay Annie." He says and rubs my back. "You're going to be okay now."
"I want to shower I can feel her all over me still."
He nods and kisses my forehead.
"I have to make a phone call." Finnick says.
After I wash myself I sit on the shower floor and cry. I must've been in here awhile because I hear someone knock on the door.
"Annie are you alright?" It's Finnick I can barely hear him over the shower.
"Annie it's almost dinner time. You don't have to eat with everyone but you should get something." He says but I don't move I think my muscles are frozen.
"Annie can you say something so I know you're in there."
"I-" Is all I manage to say and I start sobbing again.
I want Finnick to be next to me and holding me in his arms but I can't bring myself to move or talk.
I can hear the door open.
"Annie?" I hear him say. "Here." He gives me a towel through the shower curtain. I wrap it around myself but can't bring myself to get up.
I keep crying.
"Annie" He says again.
This time he opens the shower curtain.
He doesn't say anything he sits next to me and pulls me against his shoulder. I'm surprised he didn't turn off the water. I remember that night on the Victory Tour when I did the same thing. Finnick strokes my hair and rubs my shoulder. He occasionally makes shushing noises. I don't know how long I sit here until I reach to turn the water off.
I look at Finnick and hug him.
"You should get dressed." He whispers and kisses my forehead. I stand up and get out of the shower, Finnick leave to get me some clothes. I grab them and he leaves the room and I get dressed. I don't bother drying off because I don't care. I lie in bed and get under the covers and Finnick gets next to me and stokes my hair.
"You're okay Annie"
"Don't ever leave again." I say.
He doesn't say anything because he knows he can't keep that promise and he isn't going to lie and say otherwise.
He kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around me and I lean into his chest and soon find sleep.
