YOOOOOOOO! So, if you're wondering where the bloody hell I've been lately, the answer to your question is: In front of my TV decked out in Union Jack wear screaming and cheering for Team GB. Yes, I got swept away with the Olympics, but you can't blame me seeing as it was over here! So I apologise, but at least I'm back now, ne? :3
Bunny!England sends his huggles for all your lovely reviews~ ^_^ You prussian (awesome) people have made this fic surpass 900 reviews which is just madness, so THANK YOU! *bows* And once again there were too many names to fit, but I wrote them all down here so yeah, enjoy, poppets~
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Chapter Forty Nine- liondancer17, MayugeKirkland, Person, Kai1412 and Saya Kurobara's Requests
England looked at his watch and scowled. The bloody idiot is late! he seethed to himself while glaring at the ticking second hand as if it were completely at fault. "Honestly, one would think that since this was his idea he would at least have the decency to be on time," he muttered.
England and America were going to the cinema. To see what, he wasn't exactly sure, but he would bet all his money that it would be some overly expensive testosterone fuelled rubbish with excessive explosions. America had asked him to go with him (which was rare seeing as he was usually just dragged there) and the arrangements were made for after the World Meeting (which was in the UK this time).
That was all very well and good, but then where the hell is he?
England sighed and walked back into the building to see if he could seek out the American. He didn't need to walk that far until he heard him, and he would have opened the door had it not been for the fact that he obviously had company.
"Come on, just pick who has the best ones!" came an indignant female voice that England recognised immediately as belonging to Seychelles.
"Uh, but I really don't-" America tried to protest but he was cut off by someone else.
"Please, just do this for us," a soft voice asked kindly, and England was sure that was Belgium.
What is he doing with Seychelles and Belgium? England wondered, but then he got even more confused because then he heard the sweet voice of Liechtenstein also asking for America to make a decision of some kind.
"Look, we're just asking you to tell us who has the best set of melons! It really isn't that difficult," Seychelles huffed.
"Yes," agreed Belgium, "So come and take a closer look at mine!"
"Hahaha," America laughed nervously, "Look, you all have really nice, uh, melons, but I kinda have to-"
"I think mine might be too small..." Liechtenstein said rather sadly.
"No! No no, they are very nice, honestly!" America said enthusiastically.
"Hey, touch mine," Seychelles said suddenly, and she clearly must have grabbed America's hand if the protests were anything to go by.
What the bleeding hell is going on? England thought in shock as he heard the goings on.
"You feel that, right?"
"Yeah... wow, they are really firm," the hero said in amazement.
"Hah, did ya all hear that? He said mine are firm," Seychelles said proudly.
England gritted his teeth. So he blew me off so that he could- Damn him! He felt himself getting severely pissed off the more he heard. I mean for God's sake, they had made arrangements, so who was he to just forget about him and hang out with the female nations?! What was so great about them anyways? So they had breasts, big deal, England had- uh... England was... England knew America better than them! A-And they were allies! And he had made plans with him!
"If it's not too much trouble, what do you think of mine?" came Ukraine's voice, and England paled. Jesus, has the world gone mad?!
"W-Well, they are huge," America managed, sounding a bit embarrassed, but Belgium cut in with:
"Yes, but size isn't everything! It also has to be about quality as well!"
"I guess, but-"
"America, out of ten, how would you rate mine?"
"No, tell me first!"
"It was my idea to ask him, so he should tell me first!"
"Just pick me already!"
"No me!"
England felt white-hot anger consume him the more he heard, and he refused to think rationally as he shouted from the other side of the door, "AMERICA, YOU IDIOT!" and then ran off.
He thought he heard the door open behind him and America calling after him, but he didn't turn around. He was too busy trying not to break down. If he's that close with them then why didn't he ask them to the cinema? he thought bitterly. He can clearly date any of them if he wanted, he thought before he stopped. Date? Is that what I thought this cinema trip was? he wondered, before he shook his head clear of the notion and stormed all the way back to his house.
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A great sea of darkness commandeered the area, only flowing away when flickering candles fought it away. On the floor were great chalk arcs, drawn with care and in various, intricate shapes and varying symbols that were commonplace in practices of the dark arts.
England had placed his black cloak over his features and was buy mixing a potion, of what he wasn't sure, but he often found that mixing potions was a great way to calm down. It wasn't working just at the moment though as he angrily muttered, "Stupid America and stupid women tempting him! Well they can have him; I don't bloody care! Let America go to them with their flowing hair and manicured nails and glossed lips and god dammit why am I so annoyed?"
"England..." came the light voice of Flying Mint Bunny, "I really don't think-"
"Now is not a good time!" England snapped at the poor magical creature, who huffed in response.
"You're no fun when you're jealous," he pouted and England halted his actions.
"Me? Jealous? I am not jealous," he said resolutely, mixing in some powdered wolf fang to his random concoction. "I mean, why would I be jealous? The two of us are only friends and so if he wishes to date one of those nations then he can go right on ahead, I couldn't care less!"
The magical bunny looked at his friend pityingly before he saw the Brit grab aloe extracts and crushed flies wings. "Ah, England-"
"I said now is not a good time! Honestly," England muttered as he tossed them into the cauldron. "I just don't understand what is so great about the others! I'm not jealous, but really what have they got that I haven't? Well it's not as if it matters, it is completely his loss," England nodded, not even thinking about what he was saying anymore and failing to notice Flying Mint Bunny high-tailing it out of the basement. "He's attractive so of course the women would be all over him, and I'm sure that whoever he picked they will be happy and," his voice cracked a bit, "Dammit! So what if I'm not a woman?!"
BANG!
Without warning, whatever the hell he had managed to concoct blew up and England found himself flung back with immense force. After a few minutes of groaning, he managed to stir himself into a sitting position.
"Okay, well, I admit that that was a rather stupid idea," he admitted, wondering what on earth had come over him. He looked around at the mess and sighed. "I suppose I should clean this up," he muttered before he paused.
Was it just him, or did his voice sound... higher...
He ran a hand through his hair at this puzzling thought and froze. Last time he checked, his hair didn't run past his shoulders...
"Oh you have got to be joking," he said with a deadpan expression, looking down at his chest and-
Oh shit.
He curled his hand into a fist and punched the ground. This is just humiliating; he cringed as he got to his feet. I can't believe I managed this again...
With a deep sigh England went over to the cauldron and scooped up some of the liquid in a phial so that he could analyse it later to hopefully reverse the spell quicker if it didn't wear off soon, before heading back up to the first floor and then to one of his guest bedrooms.
When he caught sight of himself(?) in the mirror, he scowled and stomped over to the wardrobe that held female clothing. Why? Because unfortunately, this was far from the first time this had happened.
England stripped out of her current clothes that were now a bit too big and cringed as she set about grabbing a bra and a pair of knickers. "Of all the sodding days for this to happen," she grumbled, tugging on the garments carelessly before placing her arms akimbo while scouring the wardrobe. She eventually settled on a white blouse with a red tie and a black blazer before dying of embarrassment as she donned a tartan plaid miniskirt. I really should have asked someone other than Japan for help with female clothing, she concluded as she pulled on a pair of black knee socks. Although anyone else would have simply laughed...
She strode over to the mirror and looked at her new female appearance, deciding to tie her now very long hair into pigtails with some red ribbon she also found in the wardrobe. She nodded once she retrieved a pair of glasses and put them on- the glasses, she felt, at least obscured her eyes a bit so that in the unlikely event of coming across someone she knew, their distinctive emerald colour wouldn't betray her.
England sighed and picked up the small phial of potion, looking at it before nearly dropping it in shock when a loud voice boomed through the house- instead stowing it away in one of her pockets.
"Hey Iggy? You're here right? Sorry I'm late, but I still wanna catch that movie!" came the unmistakable voice of a certain yank that England had no desire to see at all at this current moment in time.
"G-Go away!" the island nation called, lowering the new female register as much as she could.
"Huh? Where are ya dude?"
Now the idiot was actually heading in his direction! England refused to be caught like this, (s)he would never live it down! Panicking, England made a dive across the room just as blue eyes peeked curiously inside.
"Hey England? You he- Oh... Hey," America said, catching sight of a female he hadn't ever seen before trying to scurry under the bed. "Uh, you don't need to hide or anything," he laughed a bit, wondering who this woman was. Reluctantly she withdrew and stood up, trying to keep an air of dignity around her.
"H-Hello," she said somewhat awkwardly.
"Ah, yeah... sorry, do I know you?" America asked, cocking his head to the side.
England groaned. "That sounds like the beginning of an awful romance movie," she said sarcastically.
America grinned and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, guess it does... Well, I'm sure I would have remembered meeting someone as beautiful as you," he grinned charmingly and offered a wink to boot.
England scowled. "Save it."
America just shrugged his shoulders, but kept looking over the woman before him with curiosity in his eyes. "Okay okay, you don't seem like the type to fall for cheesy things like that anyways... I was wondering if you could tell me where England is? Or better yet: who are you?"
"I'm no one," England said much too quickly. "W-Well, that is to say, I'm not that well known. I'm from an area around... Canada! Yes, I am one of his neighbours, so no one really knows me."
America just stared at the blonde woman, looking her up and down extremely closely before a small glint appeared in his eyes that had England nervous.
"Ya know," the American began, "You kinda remind me a bit of England."
"Don't be absurd!" the island nation said resolutely, but America just chuckled.
"Yeah, you seem cooler than him. You don't have stupid eyebrows for starters!" He looked at the woman closely; sure he was onto something.
That git! I'll kill him when I turn back. "Oh really? Well, I happen to find his eyebrows perfectly charming," she said primly.
"Maybe, but then he's usually in a crappy mood, and don't get me started on his cooking!" America began to advance on the other, who began to back away and tried not to explode.
"His personality is perfectly fine, and his cooking is amazing- other countries simply have no taste." A small grin found it's way to America's lips at that statement, and England's back hit the wall. Shit...
"You seem to be fond of him," America said with a slightly lowered voice, putting his hands either side of the cute female in front of him, essentially trapping her. "Hey, ya wanna know a secret?" he practically purred. England gulped.
"W-What would that be?"
America leant down and brushed his lips against the shell of England's ear, his hot breath causing a small shiver to run down her spine. "Strangely, you looked a lot hotter in a miniskirt as a dude..."
"YOU WANKER!" England yelled, punching the American hard on the arm but he seemed unfazed and just burst out laughing. "How the bloody hell did you-"
"Dude, I spend way too much time with you!" America laughed, completely in hysterics, "It would be weird if I didn't know!" By this point he was on his knees, clutching at his sides as tears streamed down his cheeks. "So how the hell did you manage that?" he managed, gesturing to all of England.
"Well it wasn't intentional," England sniffed, turning her head indignantly. "And for the love of the crown, stop laughing you twat! It isn't that funny!"
America looked up and took a deep breath. "You're right, it isn't that funny." His lips curled up though and he couldn't suppress a snort as he burst out laughing again, "It's fuckin' hilarious!"
England just pouted and crossed her arms before walking out of the room, leaving the yank to do as he pleased.
"Oh hey wait, don't go dude!" America piped up, running after her. "I still wanna catch that movie."
"No," the other said resolutely.
"But why-"
"Because I refuse to go into public looking like this, plus you can always ask one of your many girlfriends!"
"Girlfriends? What are you-"
"Oh don't play dumb America," the blonde said bitterly. "Look, I really don't want to go out, okay?"
All of a sudden there was a knock at England's door and she froze. "Shit, I can't answer it looking like this!" she fretted, but it appeared as though the person had a key and so let themselves in.
"Angleterre? You are 'ere, non? I 'ave to ask you something!" called a froggy voice.
England groaned. "God, why?"
Before the now-female had a chance to react, swishy blonde hair rounded the corner and there in all of his perverted glory was France. Upon laying eyes on the female though, his eyes glittered and his infamous, "Ohonhonhon~" fell from his lips as he pulled out a rose.
"Oh ma cher, it is such a pleasure to see you again~ I really am jealous of Canada for 'aving such a beautiful nation near 'im~" he cooed, swanning up to England and pressing the rose firmly into her hand before drawing her closer by the waist. "I 'ad almost thought you 'ad forgotten about me..."
"France, not now," England said weakly, trying to struggle away.
"But ma amour, surely you 'aven't forgotten our magical time together?"
England had to refrain from throwing up and just refused to make eye contact as France pulled her in closer. The Frenchman was pulled out of his 'Country of Love' mode however, when America coughed awkwardly.
"France, what the heck d'ya want?"
France looked up and finally noticed the hero standing there. He frowned. "Amérique? What are you doing 'ere?"
"We were just going to watch a movie!" England piped up, suddenly extremely enthusiastic as she wiggled out of France's hold and went and wrapped her arms around one of America's. France looked completely bewildered.
"Mais, ma cher-"
"France, what happened between us all those very long years ago when dinosaurs practically roamed the earth was just a one time thing. I- uh- I have a new man in my life," she said, glancing up at America who didn't have a clue on what was going on. Before any of the males could question her, England tugged on America's arm and said as sunnily as she could manage, "Well let's be off then poppet~" and practically dragged America away from the frog and out of the front door.
When they were at a relatively safe distance America glanced down and asked, "Okay, what the hell was that all about?" raising a sceptical brow.
"America," England replied in a voice of death, and never had the phrase 'if looks could kill' been more applicable than at this moment. The hero couldn't help but shiver at the dark look the other had donned. "There are some things in this world that belong buried in the past, never to be brought up or spoken of ever. That is one of those things."
America knew better than to question it.
"Just keep your arm linked with mine and don't look back, he could be following us," England muttered, praying that this would all be over soon.
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Australia walked down the street, humming a happy tune as he went and occasionally giving his pet koala a pat on the head. He had plans to pop in to visit his mum for a while, since he really needed to get the latest on this whole America situation, but as he was about to cross the road he just so happened to glance across to the adjacent street and-
"Is that the pillock?" he questioned out loud, looking to his koala for a moment before he turned his gaze back to someone who looked just like the American. Only... there was some blonde bimbo clinging to his arm! "That bastard!" Oz exclaimed, feeling anger consume him. "He's cheating on mum! I knew I didn't like him!" His light green eyes narrowed as he slyly slid in behind the couple, spotting that infamous leather jacket with a 50 written on the back that definitely confirmed that his mother's lover was just a sleazy player.
"Mum will be crushed," he whispered sadly, wondering if he should go and tell England the heartbreaking news, but he couldn't bear it. He didn't want to see his mum so upset, even if he would be better off without that golden haired twit. No, he needed to bring him to justice! And he could think of the perfect people to help him accomplish that.
Pulling out his mobile, the brunette waited impatiently before the opposite end was picked up.
"If this is some prick selling me double-glazing then I'll tell you again: Piss off!" came Scotland's harsh voice, but Australia simply sighed.
"Uncle, get your brothers, we're gonna have to pay the USA a visit..."
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England whacked America's arm. "Would you stop chuckling to yourself?" she scowled.
"I can't help it, I mean, how the heck do you manage to turn into a chick more than once?" he giggled.
"Magic is complicated!" England said defensively. "Besides, you git, you should feel lucky. I'm a catch," she said smugly- America just burst out laughing again. "Oi! It's true!"
America looked down and grinned at the scowling England. "Whatever you say babe," he winked.
"Babe?" England asked incredulously, "I am most certainly not-"
"Aw, don't get all pouty, sweet cheeks," he grinned, relishing the hilarious reaction the pet names were bringing on as he twirled the end of one of England's pigtails around his index finger. He could see England was about to retort until the giggling voices of a few girls sounded from across the street. The bulk of their conversation was lost, but both heard them squeal stuff along the lines of:
'Woooow, that girl is so lucky~'
"Pfft, whatever, she sooo doesn't deserve him!'
America just shrugged it off, but he did notice England's grip around his arm tighten slightly, and although the island nation tried to hide it he also caught the way she stuck her tongue out at the girls.
"Aw, you gettin' jealous babe?" he asked, ruffling her hair.
"Absolutely not," England said resolutely, although a small blush crept up on her cheeks.
"Haha, you can admit it, I don't mind sweetheart~"
"America. Quit it."
"Darlin' ya don't have to worry," he drawled, "You're the only girl for me~" he teased with a wink.
"Very nice, now would you kindly refrain from taking the piss?"
"But it's just so much fun," he stuck his tongue out and his deep cerulean eyes glittered before he burst into a tuneless hum off, "England is jealous~ England is jealous~"
"America I swear to God that if you don't shut up you will regret it," England said through gritted teeth.
"Oh yeah?" America stuck his chin up defiantly, "Give me your best shot."
"Don't push me," the Brit smirked.
"Go on, I dare you," he grinned, a challenging gleam in his eye, because really; what's the worst she could do?
Apparently the worst she could do was reaching into her blazer pocket and uncorking some strange phial. "You asked for this," she smiled sweetly before chucking the contents all over the golden haired nation.
"Dude, a little bit of water isn't exactly dire," America laughed but England just leant against a nearby wall and waited. And then all of a sudden, America felt strange. "Uhh... England? What exactly did you just-"
Out of nowhere America felt himself shrinking slightly, and for some reason his hair was by his shoulders... Oh hell no, she didn't just-
When two lumps suddenly sprung up on his chest it became apparent that yes, she very much just did. "Dude!" America exclaimed, before covering his mouth in shock. That wasn't my voice just now was it? he thought with wide eyes as his jacket began to slip down his shoulders due to it being too big. When England pulled out his phone and snapped a picture and showed America, he let out a gasp.
"Okay dude, that was so not cool!" he said indignantly as he looked at the female on the screen that was apparently him.
"Oops, my potion slipped," the Brit said innocently, batting her eyelashes. "Besides, sweetheart, you did dare me."
"Yeah but that's not the point! You can't just go around-" but America cut herself off in order to grab at her chest with an unimpressed expression adorning her features. "Geez, how do girls live with these things?" she asked as she cupped her boobs before bouncing up and down a bit. "Ow! Damn, that hurts like a bitch!" she exclaimed. "Okay, now it all makes sense why chicks always die in horror movies first: running with these things is, like, freakin' impossible!"
England just rolled her eyes. "It's a wonder you're still so easily fascinated with them after the World Meeting today," she muttered under her breath, pouting.
America glanced up from where she was experimentally jogging around and saying, 'Yeah, this is definitely impossible!' She cocked her head to the side. "What d'ya mean?"
"Nothing," England said, eyes downcast as she hugged her arms. "Just forget it."
"No tell me!" America whined, bouncing up and down before remembering that her back wasn't used to supporting the new-found weight at the front and hissing a bit. "Ow! Dude, Imma kill you for this," she pouted, rubbing her poor back. "But seriously, what did you mean? If this is about me being late then it's only because-"
"I know! I don't need to hear it," England said, turning around.
America pouted and walked up behind Iggy, wrapping her arms around her so that her new assets were pressed against the other's back. "Why are you being all pissy? I was just judging who had grown the best watermelons, geez."
England scoffed. "Who calls them watermelons?"
"Uh, the world? They were entering some fruit competition at some country fair thing at your place this weekend 'cause they wanted the prize. I was the first one they found and they asked me to judge. I tried to say I was busy but they promised it would just take a sec."
England stiffened. "You can't be bloody serious! You actually expect me to believe that is what was going on?"
America dug around in her jacket pockets and pulled out her mobile before pressing a few things on the screen. She brought the screen in front of the other and showed her a picture of Seychelles, Liechtenstein, Belgium and Ukraine holding up watermelons of various sizes.
England deadpanned. "What the fuck is wrong with these countries?!"
"You can't say you're surprised, this isn't nearly half as weird as that time Russia staged a ballet production halfway through one of the meetings, or that time I dressed up as a cowboy and kicked your pirate ass!"
"I won that, git."
"Yeah yeah, agree to disagree and stuff. But in comparison, this is kinda normal." America paused before she giggled a bit. "Geez, we're a pretty messed up lot, huh?"
"I have no idea how the world is still turning," England admitted before she smiled. So then that means that America wasn't hitting on them! and the thought made her more elated than should be normal but she couldn't care. She turned around and grinned at the taller woman, who simply quirked an eyebrow.
"Someone's in a good mood," she grinned, and England just nodded before all of a sudden she was pulled into a bone crushing hug. "I'm still gonna kill you for using your freaky potion stuff on me though~" she hummed, and England struggled to breathe.
"A-America! Your boobs- Jesus! I can't bloody breathe!" she managed, and America, that bitch, probably would have continued the suffocation with a light melodic laugh if it wasn't for some random guy shouting out to his mates:
"Oh hey check it out! Lesbians!"
The two nations simply looked at each other before bursting out laughing.
"Dude this is messed up," America grinned. "Anyways, you got any clothes I can borrow at your place? My own stuff is way too huge at the moment."
"Let's just go," England said, the two of them heading back to the Brit's house.
Thus America felt the need to raid England's wardrobe for the perfect outfit ("How do I look Iggy?" *strikes ridiculous pose* "Like a whore." "Aw, I love you too sweetie~") before the two spent the evening eating ice-cream and watching chick-flicks ("OHMYGOD NO! She doesn't deserve him! That bitch!" "The one you love is the maid! Screw society!" "Iggy, this is freaking brutal, pass me the chocolate!" "I don't think chocolate will be enough America, he's going to propose to the wrong girl!" "NOOOOOOO!") and France remained Forever Alone.
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*sigh* You know... I suffer for you guys, ya know that? XD 2 things I don't like writing: M-Preg and Fem!Nations, and yet I've had to do them both! WWHYYYYY?! *shakes fist at universe* But in all seriousness, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be :P
liondancer17 wanted a jealous England and misunderstood America/Female Nation
MayugeKirkland wanted magic gone wrong and Iggy turning into a girl
Person wanted misunderstood America/Liechtenstein
Kai1412 wanted Seychelles and something involving watermelons
Saya Kurobara wanted Fem!UK and possibly Fem!US
Also! Ya know the poll that determines INWYT! Well a lot of you were raising an option that wasn't there, so I added it (don't worry if you've already voted, I made it so that you can vote again if ya want :D) so I suggest checking it out ;) ;) ;) ;) (the winky faces are hints here ;D)
But this chapter isn't done! It's time for random extra that will lead to the next chapter!
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America hopped out of the cab that had just driven him from the airport back to his house after finally returning back from the World Meeting in the UK. He was initially worried he would have to return as a female and explain the awkward situation to his boss, but luckily the effects of the potion had worn off just after he and England had finished watching Mean Girls (something that the two of them had filed firmly in the 'Never To Be Spoken Of Again' drawer).
He carried his duffel bag with ease as he walked up the pathway and opened his door, sure that he had locked it initially but then again he also tended to forget a lot so thought nothing of it. He had just kicked his shoes off and dumped his bag in the doorway before he let out a squeal (he would later claim it was a manly gasp) and nearly jumped out of his skin when he walked past his living room and heard someone say:
"Well g'day there mate."
America whirled around to see a brunette smirking at him from his sofa, and he recognised him as the guy that was all cuddly with England for some reason... His eyes narrowed.
"How the hell did you get into my house?" he asked, voice low and suspicious.
Australia shrugged. "I was raised by a pirate and picked up a few tricks of the trade."
"What are you doing here?" the hero asked, on edge, but his attention faltered away from the Aussie on his sofa when an arm was draped over him. He looked up in time to see fiery green eyes boring into him.
"We'll level with ya pal: we don't trust you one little bit," the man with the flame hair said.
"Scotland?" America questioned, before another voice sounded.
"I don't know what you did to get brawd to like you so much," came a light voice, "But we are harder to impress." America looked over to the other side of the room to see Wales looking at him steadily.
"What're you-"
"We decided we're going on a trip with you~" Northern Ireland hummed, popping up from absolutely nowhere, his russet hair swaying with his movements.
"A trip?" America repeated, causing Scotland, Wales, North and Australia to all nod at him.
"Don't worry mate, we're just gonna go on a camping trip in my country," Australia smiled, but America felt uneasy.
"Why?" he questioned.
"To get to know you better," Wales said resolutely. "So pack a bag ready for next week, okay?"
And before America could reply, the other nations in his house left in a surprisingly calm manner, leaving the hero to think:
What the hell is going on?
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WHOO! Camping trip with the British Isles, Iggy, Oz, New Zealand (hellz yeah, I'm adding him!) and America! What will become of this? Well leave a review and find out soon~ ^_^ And don't forget to check out the new poll option! Until next time poppets~ :D
xx-animeXalchemist-xx
