Redemption and Ruin

Chapter Fifty-two

It wouldn't be easy to kill Snoke. His Master was good at insulating himself and moving around. He didn't stay in one place for too long. Narrowing down his location would take time and effort—he wasn't sure how much he had of either.

Snoke wouldn't be easily lured. Not even the promise of finding a high-valued Resistance location would be enough of a target to persuade Snoke to make an appearance. Not after what had happened. No, the only thing that would lure Snoke was likely Rey… Rey and his child.

He couldn't wait that long. Perhaps if he offered himself… perhaps Snoke would want vengeance.

There was a knock outside his room. "Come in!" he yelled, still lost in thought. In logistics. He had to find a way to get her back before it was too late. Before he lost them both.

The door whooshed open with a hiss, revealing two men in Resistance uniforms. He recognized them both—the pilot and the traitor. Poe and Finn. Rey's friends and his saviors.

He stepped back, allowing them in. "What can I do for you?" he asked, trying to keep his voice even.

"Rey… do you know where she is?" Finn demanded.

"She's on the Finalizer. In our rooms."

He saw something flicker over the former Stormtrooper's face. Jealousy? Worry? No… disgust.

"What did you do to her? Huh? How'd you convince her to protect you?"

Poe put a hand on his arm. "We're not here to fight. We want to help you rescue her. She means a lot to people here. We want to help."

Ben nodded. "Good, I… it won't be easy to save her. Snoke won't want to let go of her. And the Finalizer… attacking it would be suicidal. We could try to infiltrate—"

"What about Hux and Phasma?" Finn asked.

"Hux is dead," he snapped. "It's been a few weeks since."

"What happened?"

"Rey killed him. He deserved it."

"Rey?" Finn looked shocked. "What did you do to her?"

"She had no choice. He attacked her first. She was only defending herself."

"Where were you? I thought you were protecting her?"

Poe put a steadying hand on Finn's arm again, almost restraining him. "Let him talk."

"Why should I? He's part of the First Order. He's a killer! And now Rey… she's out there and he's here!"

"Maybe because I care about her… I care about her more than myself. You weren't supposed to save me. You were meant to save her!" Ben snarled. "Of course, I should've known better than to trust a traitor."

Finn lunged at him, breaking free from Poe's hold. The ex-'trooper tackled him to the floor, his fist catching Ben in the jaw. He didn't even try to block it. Not at first. Finn deserved a free hit. He could hear Poe yelling at him to stop, but there was no stopping him.

Ben did his best to half-heartedly block hits. He deserved this. Punishment for failing Rey. Failing their child. He deserved it. He'd planned to die to protect her and he'd fucked that up royally.

Poe managed to separate them, leaving Ben on the floor, his nose and lip bloody and his tunic torn. Finn continued to struggle, cursing, as Poe held him back.

He sat up slowly.

"You should be dead! You… she's the better person. We should've let you die," Finn spat.

"Finn, listen to yourself! That's not what Rey wanted. You heard her. She told us to save him. Rey wanted us to help him. Now, can I let you go or are you gonna punch him again?" Poe said, still holding him back.

"I make no promises."

Poe released him and Finn straightened his clothes. Ben slowly got up and sat on the bed. He clicked his jaw back into place. "I wish Rey was here, too. You were supposed to save her. I was supposed to die," he said quietly.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because… we got separated. And Rey… she couldn't… that blaster. She was meant to be on the transport. We never expected the attack… for the Knights to turn on us like that. To turn on her." He looked down at the floor, seeing specks of his own blood. "I did this to save her. And I failed."

"Ben… we… we will save Rey. Somehow, we will save her. Trust me." Poe sat down next to him. "Have I ever lied to you before?"

He didn't answer. At least, not right away. "Not today," is all he said.

Poe nodded. Finn glared at him from near the doorway. He still looked pissed. "Why did Rey want us to help you?"

"Because I love her and she loves me," he said softly. "And I will do anything to save her."

"Well, getting onto the Finalizer won't be easy. Do you have any people you trust there?" Poe asked, forever planning ahead.

"No, only Rey. I can't trust anyone else. And there's a problem… with the bond. Rey… she isn't herself. She was reconditioned."

He watched the horror flash across their faces. Finn looked visibly ill. He knew as well as Ben did what reconditioning was. What it did to people. How it destroyed them. He would understand.

"Does she remember anything?" Finn asked softly.

"Flashes. Her name," he recounted sadly. "She doesn't remember me. Not really. She thinks I'm fake… a voice in her head."

"Then how are we supposed to save her?"

"I'm not sure. Not yet. But we don't have much time."

"How much time do we have?" Poe asked.

"Only a few months, maybe less."

"Why months?"

"Rey… Rey is pregnant. Snoke will want the child. Our child."

Both men looked stunned. Poe seemed to recover first, nodding in understanding. Finn, however, was far from calm.

"She's pregnant? And you LEFT her?!"

Poe put a hand in the center of Finn's chest. "Buddy, look at me… fighting him won't help Rey. We need to work together."

"If she dies… I'll kill you myself," Finn promised.

Ben nodded. "If anything happens to her, you won't have to. I'll kill myself if I fail her. If I fail them."

Finn hmphed at the suggestion but it seemed to placate him for the moment. "So what was your plan?"

"We have to get her off that ship. Or we have to get on. How would you like to steal a TIE fighter?"

"Been there, crashed that," Poe said. "Plus there's only room for two in a TIE."

"Shuttle then. I know the access codes," Ben suggested, blood still trickling down his chin from his split lip. The pain was minor, more of an annoyance than anything. It reminded him that he was alive; that this was real. That Rey, his Rey, was in danger.

Poe grinned. "What class were you thinking?"


The Finalizer

Trembling, Rey held her stomach. Her baby stirred, upset as well. Upset because she was hurting. Her distress directly affected her child.

She closed her eyes, trying to slow her breathing and calm down. Not for herself. No, for the child. For this precious gift she had. A reminder that she wasn't alone. A life she'd made with a man she barely remembered. A man stolen from her by the Resistance. Killed.

Bren Hux. The child's father. A general. A good man.

Ben, the voice in her head, wasn't a good man. She wasn't sure how much of what she'd seen was based in memories, but she knew she couldn't trust him. He would try to manipulate her. He was a danger to her child.

Her son. She could sense the energy. A little boy. Bren's son.

Tears streaked down her cheeks as she caressed her stomach, feeling her child, her son, move. He squirmed almost, even as she felt her body relax. Her child was still upset. Fussing almost. She frowned, rubbing circles over the small bump, at a loss for what else to do.

She felt a pushing in her mind. Ben. She went to push him out, to shove him again, but her child twisted excitedly.

Rey paused, letting the barriers down just a bit. Her son settled down as soon as Ben called her name. She might not trust the voice in her head, but her baby did. Her baby liked his voice. Why? Surely her son would want his father—

"Rey… I am his father. He's ours. Bren Hux isn't the man you loved. I was. Snoke is manipulating you for your powers. To get to our son. I know you don't trust me, but trust our child. All I want is to protect you both. Trust your instincts."

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Trust in the Force. Trust in him. Our son knows."

Her baby kicked happily, twisting in her stomach. He liked the voice. He really did. He seemed to be acknowledging him. She rubbed her stomach again and he calmed down, settling a bit.

"I don't think I can."

A sharp kick caused her to grab her side.

"Rey? You okay?"

The baby settled down again, a sensation of happiness flooding her. Her son wanted the voice, wanted Ben, to stay. He liked him.

"Can you just talk to me? He likes your voice."

"He does?" She could almost picture the smile on his face, the way it almost ran into the scar that slashed his face. A scar her fingers knew well. She'd run her fingertips, her lips, and her tongue up and down the mark more than once. It was a ghost of a memory—a feeling almost.

"He does."

He started to sing and she felt her baby relax even further. She, too, felt the tension start to leave her body. She could feel weights pulling at her eyes. His voice was soothing. It had always been soothing. This song, their song—

A strong heartbeat under her ear, a hand stroking her hair. A voice, the tone slightly different than the one currently in her head, but it was the same song. Their song.

She sighed happily and rubbed her head against his chest again, drifting off.

Rey couldn't help it. She let her exhaustion drag her back down into the darkness as Ben continued to sing to her.


Rey dressed in robes she found in the wardrobe. Dark robes, but made of a soft, thick fabric that would keep her warm on the ship. Comfortable. Without thinking, she did her hair in three buns. It was second nature for her.

The door to her rooms opened, revealing General Phasma in her gleaming chrome armor, with a trusty blaster rifle in hand. The foreboding commander was expressionless due to her chrome helmet covering her face.

"You are to be transferred off ship."

Rey froze. "What? Why?"

"Supreme Leader Snoke demands it. It is for your safety and the child's."

Rey rubbed her stomach thoughtfully. "How soon?"

"Within a week."

"Where are we going?"

"It's safer if you don't know."

She frowned, rubbing her stomach in circles. She didn't like the idea much at all. It seemed risky. Dangerous. She wanted to know more. Lots more. For her son's sake. For his safety. He was the most important thing in her life and she would do anything to protect him. Even go against the Supreme Leader.

"Can you tell me more about Bren? Did you know him well?"

"I did," Phasma said. "I knew him for many years. We served together for nearly a decade. He was a good man—a brilliant strategist and an impassioned speaker. His death was a great loss for the First Order."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"He would've been a great father. If only that traitor hadn't killed him." Phasma's voice was bitter and filled with hatred.

"Traitor?" Rey asked.

"Ben Solo," the general spat. "Rebel scum. He's the reason Bren is dead. The son of Leia Organa. Resistance Royalty. He pretended to join our cause but he betrayed us—he betrayed Bren. Killed him."

Rey was stunned. Ben was real? He worked for the other side?

"Ben Solo… did I know him?"

"He worked with Bren. You knew him. Devious son of a bitch. Lied to us all—he tried to befriend you. Even though everyone knew about you and Bren."

Rey nodded, her head swimming. "What else can you tell me about him?"

"About Ben Solo?"

"Yes."

Phasma shook her head. "We were all surprised by him. He started off a good man and loyal to the cause. He did a lot of work for us and with Bren. They worked together a lot. That all changed once you arrived."

"Me? What did I do?"

"Both Ben and Bren were infatuated with you. You chose Bren. Ben didn't take it well. He refused to believe it, even when you became pregnant. He never stopped harassing you."

"What did he do?" Rey asked. It didn't sound like the man in her head. He seemed sweet.

"Bren tried to keep you two apart as best he could. He even talked to the Supreme Leader about reassigning either him or Ben. Snoke refused his request. I think it made Ben angrier. Bren told me that one time he found Ben trying to force himself on you. He stopped it and threw him out, but Ben… he was furious. Two days later, Bren was dead and Ben had turned on us."

She felt a bit ill at the very idea of the image in her head. It was fuzzy, but she could feel hands on her wrists. A body pinning hers down as she fought. A hand around her throat, choking her.

"I don't mean to upset you," the general said in a softer tone. "You asked about him… I though the truth would be the best."

"Thank you for that," Rey said, trying to hold back the tears. "Did Ben… did he ever hurt me before?"

"A few times. Bren told me about it. It was difficult because you were sparring partners. He claimed the injuries were from training."

She could feel her back pressed against a wall, a hard body before her. They were both panting. Hands on her hips. Her arms around his neck. But she couldn't see a face. She didn't feel fear. She felt desire.

"Training?"

"You and Ben were the only Force-sensitives on the ship. He was teaching you how to use it. He was the only one qualified."

The Force. She remembered something about it. A mysterious energy around everything. A power she was able to use and manipulate. She could remember lightning arching from her fingertips.

"Without Ben, who will teach me?"

"The Supreme Leader himself will oversee your training now. I imagine most of it will wait until after your child is born."

Rey ran her hand across her stomach. "Thank you for telling me about them."

"Anytime," Phasma said with a curt nod as she headed for the door.

She sank back down on the bed as the door closed. Her head throbbed from the new information and the flashes she'd felt. Memories? Visions? She wasn't sure.

Rey played with the locket around her neck, glancing at the pictures inside. The little boy could only be Ben—Bren had red hair and the boy in the picture didn't. His hair was so dark it was almost black. She just wasn't sure where she fell in the triangle between the two men—Ben and Bren. A traitor to the Order and a dead general. One of these men fathered her son. She just wasn't sure which one.

If Bren truly was a great man, who was Ben to her? Why were these things hidden in her room? Were they illicit lovers? Was Ben really the father? Where was he then? Why had he left her?

She laid down on the bed, still turning the locket over and over in her hands. She could feel him in her mind, pushing against the wall she'd erected to protect herself. Rey knew he would answer her questions—she just didn't know if she could trust what he said.

She didn't know if she could trust anyone.

Dropping the locket to dangle from the chain around her neck, Rey instead caressed her growing stomach. Her son. The most precious and important thing in her life.

Against her better judgment, she lowered her wall and let him in. She could almost feel his relief at being allowed to speak. To feel her. He missed her—she could feel it.

"Rey…" The way he said her name sent a shiver down her spine.

"Who are you to me? How did we meet?"

"I love you. You were my apprentice. But before that… I knew you… we knew each other as children. You were three when I first met you. We spent two years together before we were separated. I was told you died. We've been together again for several months."

"Why don't I remember you?"

"There's a barrier in your mind that my uncle created when you were five. The reconditioning on top of that… I'm not sure what to do. I don't know how to help you. And it scares me," he said, his voice tinged with sadness.

She gripped the locket tightly. "So you and me… we were together? Did Bren know?"

"Bren wasn't your husband or boyfriend or whatever lie they told you. You weren't with him. You weren't together. We were. Hux had an obsession with you. And he hurt us both to punish you. Rey, it was always us. You and me, kid."

She frowned at the nickname. It felt familiar, falling from his lips. It was affectionate as well.

"Why would they lie?"

"To turn you against me. Snoke wanted you dead until he found out about our child. There's no doubt in my mind that once our baby is born he will kill you. I can't let that happen. I'm working on a plan to save you."

"They're going to move me. Soon. Phasma told me."

"To where?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"I'm going to find you. No matter what… I will find you. I will save you and our child."

"Our son."

She could feel him smiling. "Our son. Oh, Rey… I want nothing more than to be there with you right now. To hold you. I miss you."

"Ben…" she breathed and the name felt right on her lips.

"I'm going to find you. No matter what happens, I'm going to find you. I won't let Snoke hurt our son. I won't. I'll die first."

"Ben, no…" She felt a twisting in her stomach. "I can't lose you. Please… be careful. I don't know what I'd do without you. Our son needs you. Promise me."

"Rey—"

"Promise me you'll come back to me. That you'll be careful."

He was quiet for a long moment. "I will try. I miss you, baby."

"Come back to me, Ben. Find us."

"I love you both so much."

"Our son misses you." She could feel it. He liked the feeling of Ben in her head. He liked his father's voice. It soothed him. It soothed them both.

"I love you, Rey. I will find you. I swear."

"I trust you, Ben. I do."

She felt him relax through the bond. "I love you. I love you so much. Just rest. You need your strength. I'll be right here. I won't leave you."

"I'm not tired. Not really."

"Did you eat?"

She smiled at his concerned voice. "I suppose I should get a snack."

"Rey, they're calling me. I'm still here. If you reach out, I'll be right back. I just need to concentrate, okay? But I'm still here."

"It's fine. Go."

She felt him retreat a bit, but sure enough, she could still sense him there, in her head. She knew that any extreme emotions would bring him right back. It was funny what she knew. She didn't consciously remember how, but she knew little oddities. She knew a bit about this bond between them.

A Force bond. Impossible to sever. To lose it, to lose him, would be like losing part of herself. Death would break the bond but it would also destroy the survivor. She didn't know how she knew that, she just did.

She found herself rubbing her stomach and reaching out to sense her child. He seemed calmer with Ben there, even though he wasn't actively speaking to them. Her son trusted Ben. He trusted his father. And she trusted his instincts more than her own at the moment. Especially with how her head throbbed.

Author's Notes:

So sorry for the delay! Those of you who follow me on Tumblr ( tmcarper) already know this, but things have been crazy with my job, traveling, and health. I also hit a bit of a roadblock with the outline, but I think I'm starting to iron it out.

I'll probably only be posting once a week for a while. If I'm lucky, I might get two posts a week some weeks. At least until we get through the summer.

Big thank you to my helper, MeganD1215. I've been pestering her with story questions and snippets for ages. In return, she bothers me with her own stories.

Lily – Thank you so much!

Dylan – Sorry to hear that. Thanks for reading.