Shoko sat atop the still, wooden construct and absentmindedly picked at the food on her lap. This was the exact spot that Jason held during the day, but now he was down with the others by the fire. They liked to get it set early, before the sun had even gone down, so as to avoid a struggle in darkness. Once that was all put together, they would sit around that fire and talk about news and trivialities. Shoko hardly partook in that company, though, and rather preferred her place on the wagon. Here she could sit still, just beyond the reach of their raucous voices, and watch the sun go down. It slipped along the amber sky with a slow, constant trickle. It occurred to Shoko that this was one habit of the old world that had never quite slipped away. Whatever happened, Shoko always found herself watching the sun go down across this tumbling mountains.
These were different mountains, though, or at least a separate face of the same range. Shoko picked at a piece of dry meat and put it in her mouth, tasting the salt. So this was the vast, strange world she had always dreamed about? When her fantasies had dwelled across that rim of the world, had they included an existence of this sort?
But what was this sort, she couldn't help but wonder. Was this travel the same adventure she'd thought of, or was it an aimless tramp through ambiguous and infinite plains? Was this a good life, or a bad one? Shoko looked away from the sinking sun and, ignoring the dry food in her lap, glanced toward the ring of people below. They were just settling down now, and laughing as they did that. Some were clutching at supplies and some at food. There was Travis, mostly healed and wearing his weapon once more. He always did, and it seemed he had not been so obsessive about the blade before. The man had gotten careful after that terrible incident.
Aside from that hinting of caution, their gathering was jovial. Tommy, though, was another matter. A coolly searching gaze could catch no sight of him. Tommy always picked a place apart from the rest to eat, and retired early sometimes. Sometimes he would not come back until after everyone else. Shoko could not help but worry for her friend. By the day he seemed to grow stranger, to lose the resemblance of the smiling boy from long ago, but what of that hint he had given out weeks ago, and again infrequently since. There had been flashes of that memory. Not full communication from his past existence, but pale glimmers of its survival.
With each such occasion, Shoko thought he might be coming back as the old Tommy, but each such occasion was an isolated event. The glimmer bred hope but that was left to dwindle, and was only finally dead blind once the next glimpse touched her eyes and heart's eye.
Would he come back? Or would Tommy just bounce around in this taunting place for eternity?
"Shoko."
She turned around to find his head poking over the side of the wagon. Tommy's face was flat, as it always was, but the sudden appearance still drove Shoko's heart into a stumbling pound. Was this another moment of taunting connection, or could this be the last?
"Hi," was all she could shove out past the shuffling storm of thoughts in her head. They were loud, too loud to allow any individual understanding. But then, as Tommy spoke again, the whole lot fell away into a terrifying silence. Now Shoko could summon no thought or words.
"Do you mind if I sit up here?"
That void was too much, and Shoko just shook her head. Tommy finished his ascent and came lightly walking over to sit beside her. Shoko watched him, then caught an awkward air and looked away. She wanted to say something, but what was there? Nothing seemed right or apparent, and so Shoko remained silent.
"I… I couldn't think of anything," Tommy said.
"Think of what?" Shoko asked, her gaze slipping back over. Tommy was looking away, at something below. His lips bent into a smile and that somehow struck more worry into her. It seemed as if he were staring down at something insane, something totally beyond the grasp of this reality.
"I kept thinking and thinking but none of it was right. It just… I don't know what to say but I can't just keep saying nothing."
"What are you talking about? Shoko asked, staring between him and that invisible thing below.
"It's your birthday today," he said, "And I was going to find something for you, but I couldn't find anything, and I couldn't think of anything."
"It's my birthday…" Shoko mumbled after him. The thought hadn't even occurred to her, but somehow Tommy had recognized the day.
"Yeah, it's hard to keep count but…" he was still looking away from her, never making eye contact as he spoke. The words seemed to come with difficulty, "I want to be your friend again, but I don't know how. I ruined everything and I don't know what I can do to fix it. I know you're mad at me for running away from everyone and for putting us in this whole mess, but I want to make it up to you."
"I don't want anything from you."
"But please," he looked up at her suddenly, "I hate this. I hate what things are like and I just want us to be the way we were before. What do I need to do?"
Tommy's voice was still ringing in her ears when Shoko finally mustered up the strength to reply.
"That was it," she said, "That was all. If you want to be my friend then just be my friend, I want to be your friend too. I want us to be better again."
"Really?" Tommy asked, incredulous.
Shoko didn't know how long it was until the sun set, whether it went down that second or just moments before rising once more. At some point it became dark, and they were still sitting there atop that wagon.
