All the legal stuff, summery and notes are on chapter one.
A/N: I know I said I'll be back right after the World Cup was over (which was nearly a month ago), but real life seemed to have caught up with me, and then my internet connection failed…
Anyway, I'm just glad and grateful that you're all still here and that you haven't given up on me, thank you so much.
Beta: Dragon, may she fly free and high!
Mini-Moony- chapter Forty-five
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It had been almost two weeks since that fated phone call Harry and Seamus had forced Draco to make and at the moment the two love birds were somewhere in France, probably rug-camping in front of a roaring fire and feeding each other chocolates and making out.
Harry was glad they were gone, to be truly honest. Not that he wasn't happy for his friends, after all he wouldn't have gone to all that trouble if he didn't want them to be together but as time passed and December rolled closer he had less and less tolerance for other couples. Remus was due to come back from Spain any day now and Harry had no idea if he'd get to see his husband.
Lily had told him about the little chat she, James and Sirius had with Remus and while Harry was glad Remus said he'd return it was clear from Lily's evasiveness that it wasn't at all clear whether Remus would be coming back to him. Lily also refused to divulge any information as to what was the cause of Remus leaving in the first place and Harry was quite annoyed when she tried to play mother with him and told him that it was something Remus should tell him himself. The implication that Harry should have called Remus himself and find out what was really going on irked him to no end. How dare Lily suggest it was Harry's fault for not calling Remus when it was Remus who hadn't bothered to pick up a phone or floo powder and contact him? He was the one who'd left!
And so, instead of drowning himself with thoughts about 'what if' and 'how will' he decided to surround himself with other people, with other problems and joys and sadness that would help him forget his own. And since Draco was abroad and not exactly reachable Harry found himself spending more and more time in Seamus' flat or Sirius' cottage. He even stayed behind in Aaron's classes to talk to Snape, it seemed that even the grouchy Potions Master understood Harry's need for company other than his own mind and often indulged him in conversation while Aaron was off to play with Cleo.
Harry knew that Aaron was still adjusting to life without Remus and he forbade anyone to tell the boy anything about Remus. Until Harry wasn't sure himself where things were standing between him and his husband there was no need to involve the already confused boy.
It was Sunday, and that meant Harry and Aaron were having breakfast with Seamus and Adam in the flat above the shop. Aaron loved these Sunday breakfasts, especially when Seamus let him help with making the wafers. Currently Aaron was balancing precariously on a chair trying to see the wafers cook through the machine, Seamus was tilting his head to do the same. Harry thought them both a little silly but cute none the less. He had just turned to Adam to comment on their silliness when the doorbell rang. Adam went to get the door and Harry was distracted by the squeals of joy coming from both Aaron and Seamus at the readiness of the wafers. Moments later Adam returned with Hermione and Draco in toe, both smiling wide and with arms laden.
"'Arry! It iz so good to see you!" Hermione gushed with horrible fake French accent, "We ad ze most wonderful time in Paris!"
"Not talking like that I hope." Seamus muttered as he pretended to have his ears hurt from her accent. Hermione gave him a sweet smile and stuck out her tongue at him. Meanwhile Draco led the way to the table to relieve himself of his burden of cheese and meats they brought with them, much to the delight of Seamus. He already started gushing about French cheese, picking the parcels up and showing Aaron, and letting him smell all of them. Hermione used the commotion and distraction of the others and pulled Harry aside,
"How are you feeling? Are you eating well? Is the baby doing alright? How about we step into the bedroom and I give you a quick once-over." Harry smiled and patted his friend's arm,
"How about you curb your enthusiasm for another two days and then I'll come over to your office for my official check-up? I'm doing great and the baby is doing great as well." Hermione still didn't seem altogether convinced and opened her mouth to protest when Harry cut her off, "Let's just eat, yeah?"
And so, the six of them sat down for breakfast of wafers and French cheese and other delicacies all chatting and laughing. And right in the middle of Hermione's hilarious story of Draco nearly wetting himself with fear when a local girl was hitting on him, the doorbell rang. Draco, quite pink in the face and trying his hardest to be gracious and not kick his girlfriend's arse in front of children decided to get the door.
Grumbling under his breath the blond yanked the door open, and froze at the sight of the man on the other side.
"What do you want?" He snapped, rather rudely. Remus rubbed his forehead, trying to hold on to the remains of his calmness. It'd been a harrowing morning for him. He'd just gotten back from Spain and all he wanted was to see his family. His first stop had been 'Rose Cottage' which was completely deserted and bereft of life, followed by a quick stop at Sirius' place to ask his friend where Harry was, which led him to the Malfoy Manor. But over there the quite resenting house elves informed him that his husband and son were to be found here on Seamus' apartment. Remus just hoped they were because he was starting to develop quite a migraine.
"I want to talk to Harry." Draco crossed his arms over his chest, contemplating what to do- on one hand; Harry sure could use the closure and would probably love to see Remus again. On the other hand, this was the man who drove Harry away from his own home and made his life miserable and in consequence, Draco's as well…
"Harry doesn't want to talk to you." He said with one of his disarming smiles. Remus clenched his jaw, wanting nothing more than to pummel the arrogant, smarmy blond in front of him. Luckily for both the freckled face of Seamus popped from behind Draco's shoulder at that moment,
"Well, well well, look what the cat dragged in…" He drawled, his Irish brogue making the words slur a little. Draco and Remus both started at him, "Don't just stand there like a potted plant!" Seamus snapped, "You've got a lot of explaining to do, Mister!"
"Seamus!" Draco hissed, "You can't let him in!" Seamus turned to his friend, not even bothering to lower his voice so that Remus wouldn't hear,
"Draco, he's still Harry's husband and Harry deserves a couple of answers." He said meaningfully while pulling the stunned and enraged Draco away from the door to allow Remus to walk in. Remus did his best to avoid rolling his eyes as he followed the two to the kitchen. "Look who we found at the door!" Seamus announced joyfully. Harry looked up, and he could swear his heart stopped. The rest of the room watched Harry carefully but he didn't notice. Remus, Remus was here, really really here…
Before Harry could react a ball of black hair nearly crashed with Remus' kneecaps, the man's only warning was a shrill cry of 'Dad!' Remus bent over to pick Aaron up, spinning him around and hugging him tight. Harry still sat frozen, looking at the two of them but unable to snap out of his stupor.
"Hm, I think we'll just head out, we've still got a lot of unpacking to do…" Hermione said apologetically, patting Harry's shoulder softly as she stood up. "It's good to see you Remus. Lets' go, Draco." Remus nodded at her with a little smile, but Draco stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest,
"I'm not leaving Harry with him." He jerked his head towards Remus
"Draco," Hermione said in a menacing tone, "I think Harry can handle his own husband just fine, now shift it!" Without letting Draco say a word she grabbed his arm and led him out of the room towards the living room fireplace. The couple argued with hushed voices all the way until the fireplace whooshed to life.
Seamus looked torn as to what to do himself, he really wanted to give Harry and Remus some room to work their issues, but it was still his place… He looked helplessly at his own boyfriend, seeking out advice. Adam smiled,
"How about Shay and I take Aaron to the park or something, and leave you two to talk things out." He suggested brightly, reaching out to Aaron who pouted and refused to let Remus go. Remus whispered a few words into his son's ear, and eventually the boy nodded and allowed Adam to take him.
Once the room cleared Remus finally looked at his husband, who sat the whole time by the table and hadn't said a word. Remus stepped fully into the kitchen, feeling rather nervous. It was one thing to have Aaron jump at him, which was fun but it was another altogether to have Harry simply staring into space as if someone froze the frame.
"You look good." Harry's head snapped at the sound of Remus' voice and he looked over at his husband, blinking. For some reason the words made him want to laugh out loud. He smiled and slowly pushed his chair back, rising to his feet and straightening up, his baby bump proudly displayed through his denim overalls. Remus gasped, the reality of the situation smacking him down like a blow to the face,
"Not so good then…" Harry tried to smile but the gasp was making him feel very self-conscious and nervous all of a sudden. When Remus left there wasn't any outward sign of his state, and now… "Humm, would you like some cheese?" He asked, raking his hand through his hair, and started fiddling with the wrapper of the nearest cheese, which happened to be a camembert and not looking at Remus, "Hermione and Draco decided to deplete France of it, it seems…" He knew he was babbling and he hated himself for it- this was Remus, the man he'd been in love with for the past decade, the man whose baby he was carrying for heaven's sake!
"Harry…" Harry lifted his head only to find Remus standing right in front of him. His heart was thumping so loudly it physically hurt. Remus cupped his cheek, his fingers so warm they were almost scalding, and he leaned forward. Harry closed his eyes and let himself melt into the kiss, gods it'd been so long, and so lonely he didn't even care why Remus left in the first place.
"I missed you so much…" Remus whispered against Harry's lips, the brunet melting against him, "You and Aaron…" Harry froze. Him and Aaron… Missing him and Aaron… Just him and Aaron? No one else? Not, say, a baby? Pushing Remus away he took a step back, his jaw suddenly set in a hard manner. Remus looked at him, confused, "Harry what's wrong?"
"Me and Aaron?" Harry let out a small, almost crazed, laugh, "I can't believe I just let you kiss me like that! I can't believe I was so desperate for human contact I just let you!" Racking his hands through his hair again Harry moved around the table, heading out of the kitchen and into the living room, knowing that Remus would follow even if he didn't understand fully Harry's change of pace.
"Look at me, Remus!" He said, turning to face the man, "There is no longer just me and Aaron, and as much as you try to ignore it, there's this!" He pointed at his protruding stomach. Remus sat heavily down on the sofa, his eyes lowered to his fingers. "Remember why you left? Huh? Do you? Because I remember perfectly! And guess what, nothing changed!" Harry started pacing the length of the living room, he was on the roll, and boy did it feel good! To get everything out, all the things he'd wanted to say to Remus for the last four months, all the frustrations and anger and injustice of the whole situation. It was all pouring out and flooding Remus.
"I am so angry with you right now…" Harry shook his head to himself, "And you know why? It's not so much that you left me without an explanation, causing your son to go into such a relapse he can't sleep alone, even after four months. It's not that you drove me out of my own home and move to the Manor, I don't care about all that. It's that you don't even care. What did you come back for? So that I can forgive you and give you my blessing to move on? Because that isn't going to happen!"
"I don't want your blessing to move on." Remus said quietly, his eyes still cast down. Harry stopped his furious pacing and crossed his arms over his chest, looking suspiciously at Remus,
"Then what do you want?"
"To make amends." Harry snorted in disbelief,
"Oh really? So now, all of a sudden you're on board with things? You're reconciled with the fact you're going to be a father again in four months?" When Remus still refused to lift his eyes he snorted again, "Yeah, I didn't think so…"
"Harry, do you remember what my Boggart is?" Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, quite thrown off by the unexpected question,
"Hum, th- the full moon. What does that have to do with anything?"
"And what does the full moon stands for?" Harry had a strange feeling, he felt like he was in the middle of an oral exam, it was a strange feeling after so long and he had a sudden urge to sit on the edge of his seat and raise his hand politely.
"The night you transform." He barely resisted the urge to add 'sir'.
"Yes, but not only. That full moon represents everything that is vile and wrong about this… curse I have." Remus finally looked up, his eyes meeting his confused husband's. "I've been living with this… thing for almost as long as I can remember myself, I see people flinch and cower in fear once they find out what I am. I've been denied proper employment and proper chances to make my life whole and I keep being denied. This job in Spain, that wasn't a 'dream job' or anything but it was something I could do and I wanted so bad to prove that I can be useful. Because I hate feeling incapacitated and weak."
"You're not weak and you've got a whole life…" Harry said weakly, "You've got a family and friends and…"
"I still need to fight every day for things that are trivial for normal people, and so does Aaron, hell he can't even get into a proper school!"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Harry was genuinely perplexed at that point. How did he go from being so mad he was ready to thump Remus to this?
"I don't want my children to have to fight the way I do." A thought suddenly struck Harry,
"Wait, you think our baby will be a werewolf?" Remus nodded silently and Harry dropped heavily into a nearby chair. So that's what it was all about? "Why would you think that?"
"Because it was conceived under the full moon, what else will it be?"
"She."
"What?"
"She, we're having a girl." Harry smiled softly, his hand automatically reaching to caress his baby bump. Remus smiled softly, it was so amazing, that look on Harry's face. It was something that Remus wished he'd be able to look at and not feel guilty. Gods, he'd give anything to be able not to feel guilty whenever he thought about the baby. A girl, they were going to have a girl…
"We don't know if she'll be a werewolf." Remus looked up, startled,
"What?"
"Hermione says we can't tell if the baby is a werewolf until birth but she's fairly confident she won't be."
"How can she tell?" Gods, if only that was true for certain…
"It's Hermione; she's done some extensive research." Harry shrugged, he'd known Hermione since he was eleven years old, he knew what she was capable of, and to what length she'd go to know the things she wanted to know. And if she said that the chances of his baby being a werewolf are slim to none, he believed her whole heartedly. Remus sighed, he wished he had that sort of confidence in Hermione- sure she was smart and she no doubt did the research Harry said she did, but what if she was wrong?
"Look, Remus, I'm sorry things got so out of hand because we were both too stubborn to talk them out," Harry said softly, finally coming to sit next to Remus, "But right now this is how things stand, I can't get rid of the baby even if I wanted to, it's too late. We need to figure out how to proceed from here." Taking a deep breath Harry tried to sound collected and calm but his insides were churning with uncertainty, "Are you um… Are you going to um, stay in England?"
"The last four months were the hardest in my life, I hated Spain. It was pure torture." Remus answered heavily and Harry felt a little smile tugging at his lips. He tried to hide it but it felt good to know that Remus had a hard time as well.
"I thought Spain was supposed to be beautiful and friendly." Remus chuckled softly,
"It is, but not when you're alone and all you can think about is home and every dark haired guy in the streets remind you of your husband. Why couldn't Arthur have sent me to Scandinavia?" Now it was Harry's turn to grin. "I want to stay here and work on things, I missed you so badly, I don't think I can carry on without you." Harry's heart melted, because as much as he wanted to stay mad at Remus and make him work for his forgiveness he was also realistic enough to know that he needed Remus just as much as Remus needed him, and it wasn't just for the baby's sake. Leaning over he placed a soft kiss on Remus' lips, rubbing his shaggy head on his husband's shoulder,
"Good, I'm glad you said that. And your first order of business is to shag me." Remus let out a surprised chuckle; this wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting… "Come on Remus! You decided to hop across the channel in the most inappropriate time! You left me here hornier than I've ever been before with no proper means to relieve myself. I just got hard watching Draco and Hermione snog!" Both men cringed uneasily, "So, as my husband you have a duty to shag me, right now!" Taking Harry's face in his hands Remus brought their lips together, kissing Harry like a starved man, poor Harry…
"Wait," He panted when they broke apart, "Maybe we should find a more appropriate place, what if Seamus and Adam come back, what if Aaron comes back?" Harry rolled his eyes; thought Remus did have a point. Getting to his feet he tugged Remus hand and the older man followed him to the fireplace.
A couple of hours and about six orgasms later Remus got up from the huge bed that was Harry's in Malfoy Manor. He kissed Harry's forehead as he put his clothes on, whispering to his boneless, sated husband that he was off to pick Aaron up and disappeared through the floo. Harry stretched himself languidly before he rolled off the bed, pulling one of the bed sheets with him to wrap around himself and went to sit down on the window sill.
Biting his lip Harry watched as soft snow began to fall outside. Remus was back, he said he wanted to work on things, he'd accepted that the baby was a done deal… Then why couldn't Harry just feel pure bliss? Just be happy and grateful? There was something nagging at him and he just couldn't put his finger on it…
Stroking his baby bump Harry tried to get rid of the uneasy feeling when it struck him. Not once since Remus came back had he voluntarily touched his baby bump…
