Hey fans! Following the success of the XCW Summer Supershow is the go-home episode before Heatwave! I only own my championships.
The original ECW theme played and pyro exploded on the titantron, after which millions of fans stood in a huge arena cheering and holding up signs of many different colors.
"Fresh off the heels of a very successful Summer Supershow, we are now just six nights away from Heatwave in Liberty City, where for one night only, every match will be contested under an extreme stipulation! But what will happen now that the dust has settled from the Supershow, and every man and woman on the card has their eyes on their prizes within this company? Welcome to XCW Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, where we are live tonight from Sunnydale! And hello again, everybody! I'm Early Cuyler with Master Shake at ringside, and Shake, after the chaos that reigned over the XCW Summer Supershow, I'm confident we're in for one wild night, with our summer-themed pay-per-view on the horizon!"
"I'm right there with you, Early!" Shake agreed. "We have a lot on tap for this episode of Monday Night Massacre! First, the leader of D-Generation Ed, Eddy himself, teams up with the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf, to take on the XCW Hardcore Champion, Kenny McCormick, and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions, "The Enforcer" Eric Cartman!"
"Don't forget our main event tonight, Shake!" Early said. "We have a big six-man tag team matchup with even bigger implications for Heatwave! The XCW World Heavyweight Champion, Tai Kamiya, Bugs Bunny, and Ed of D-Generation Ed will team up to take on Spongebob Squarepants, Hotsuma, and the Champion of Life, Mario! That'll be one to watch for sure!" Shake said, right before. . .
. . ."This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage played!
". . .but we start off with a word from the XCW Heavyweight Champion of the World!" finished Early, as the crowd erupted into massive cheers!
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the World. . .TAI KAMIYA!"
"Last week, during the main event of the XCW Summer Supershow, Tai Kamiya, along with his wife, Sora Takenouchi, put on an intergender tag team match for the ages against Ben and Gwen Tennyson!"
To thunderous applause, Tai Kamiya stepped onto the stage, raising the World title belt high above his head before striding down the ramp.
"You're absolutely right, Early!" agreed Shake. "It was a back-and-forth, very competitive fight between two of the most iconic units in fiction wrestling! Ben and Gwen tried to steal the win, but in the end, Sora kept Gwen away with a Shooting Star Press to the ringside floor, while Tai locked Ben in the Crossface for the submission victory! It was an instant classic of a night that will be remembered for years to come!"
Tai slid into the ring under the bottom rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising the World title belt toward the fans.
"And in just six days at Heatwave in Liberty City, Tai has an even bigger match in scale and in opponent, when he takes on the monster Garfield in a Last Man Standing match with his XCW World Heavyweight Championship on the line! I have a feeling he'll have a lot to say about that, and last week's Supershow right here, right now!"
Tai stepped off the turnbuckle and into the center of the ring with a microphone in hand, as he gazed around the arena at the fans chanting "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"
"I love hearing that chant. . ." Tai said in the microphone, to more cheers from the crowd. "Last week, this company put on one hell of a show. . .and we couldn't have done it without the companies that responded , the superstars that participated, and most importantly, all of you fans that attended!"
The crowd cheered and began to chant "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!" even louder.
"I'm glad to know that you guys went home happy!" Tai said. "Rest assured, you'll be even happier after Heatwave!"
The crowd cheered even more as Tai raised the XCW World Heavyweight title high above his head.
"I'm gonna get to this Sunday in a little bit, but there's been something eating away at me since last week. . ." Tai said, draping the XCW World title over his shoulder. ". . .and that's the fact that one company, Character Championship Wrestling, left the XCW Summer Supershow last week without a win in any of the matches they were involved in. . .one of those matches featured Sora and I defeating the CCW Females Champion and the Magnus Champion, Gwen and Ben Tennyson. I know what you all think of them. . .but this needs to be said."
Tai looked right into the camera with a very confident but restrained expression.
"Ben. . .you fight with passion not only for your claim as the 'Best in the Universe', but also with an unparalleled passion for this business, just like everyone else on the CCW roster. I just wish our company recognized that while booking the show. . .You're a very tough competitor, but I know that without your cousin at your side, you're even tougher. I'd certainly love to face you again, with no wives or relatives, just YOU and ME inside the squared circle. . .and mark my words, if XCW's path crosses with CCW's again, I guarantee you that our bookers, our management, and our wrestlers will recognize the passion that you and all of CCW have for this business!"
As the crowd cheered, Tai turned away from the camera, looking back around the arena.
"But there's one man here in XCW that I know doesn't fight with passion, but with hatred. And that. . .
. . .
. . .is Garfield."
The crowd booed upon Garfield's mention.
"Ever since Garfield made his debut in this company, he's ran on pure hatred of everyone and everything that either crosses him or pisses him off! Months ago, he was about to kill Bugs Bunny in this ring, right in front of all of you. . .but it just didn't sit well with him that I made the save at the expense of his victory. . .and it certainly didn't sit well with me when he left me a bloody mess inside the mat soon after, and eventually assaulted my wife, along with his tag team partner and manager!"
"I thought it ended when I left Endgame with the XCW World title. . .but when Garfield chokeslammed Sora and I a couple weeks ago, and made our World Heavyweight title match a Last Man Standing match. . .I realized what Garfield's plans were. He wants to reclaim this belt as his, and he won't stop fighting for it until I am DEAD. Now, I know that tonight, he won't be in a good mood not only because it's Monday. . .but also because he failed to defeat "The God of Destruction" Chaos The Hedgehog last week. Well, I've got news for him. . .whether he comes for me tonight for it or not, I'll be ready for him!"
"Garfield may have been on a path of destruction thanks to me for the past four months.. .and while on that path, he's been through the Cell of Chaos, reigned as XCW World Heavyweight Champion, and hospitalized numerous men and women all under the orders of his power-hungry manager. . .but in Liberty City, his path reaches a DEAD END! Sora, Matt, TK, Kari, the rest of the DigiDestined and I may have resurrected our careers at Wrestlemania, but as far as I'm concerned, my XCW career won't be legitimized until Garfield is put down once and for all! This Sunday in Liberty City, we will collide one last time, and THIS time, we're going to be fighting with more intensity and fire than our fight at Endgame, because in this version of David versus Goliath, this time, it's DAVID who's walking into the arena as the World Heavyweight Champion! And this Sunday at Heatwave, the score WILL be settled. . .blood WILL be shed. . .and bones WILL be broken. . .but in the end. . .
. . .
. . .I WILL BE THE LAST MAN STANDING!"
Tai lowered his microphone as the crowd began to cheer, and Tai's entrance music began once again until the show went to a commercial break.
As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Early and Shake sat at the announcer's table.
"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and Shake, I gotta tell ya, I'm more excited than ever for this Sunday, and the Last Man Standing match for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship!"
"I am too, Early. . ." Shake said in agreement. ". . .but Tai basically just called the Monster Garfield out! Now, he and Jon Arbuckle have yet to arrive to the arena tonight, but Tai's right: Garfield will be angry, hell, he'll be FUMING over the fact that he didn't win against Chaos last week at the XCW Summer Supershow! Not only that but Garfield may not have won, but he kept a GOD from winning, as well! Tai shouldn't be underestimating his Heatwave opponent just six days before the pay-per-view!"
"I don't think he's underestimating him, Shake, he's confident and ready for him! He's beaten him once, and believes he can beat him again, even in a Last Man Standing match. We'll find out more once Garfield and Jon Arbuckle get here. . .but right now, it is time for some one-on-one action!" Early called before the show cut back to the ring, where Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.
"The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!"
"I Am Perfection" by Downstait played to a mix of cheers and boos from the crowd as Johnny Bravo stepped onto the stage and strode down the ramp.
"Introducing first. . .from Aron City. . .JOHNNY BRAVO!"
"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, right now we're about to see Johnny Bravo in action!" Early said, as Johnny Bravo entered the ring above the second rope and posed on a turnbuckle.
"Johnny Bravo was a former Toon WWE European Champion back in the 90s…" Early said. "…but he hasn't done a whole lot since then, save for a brief stint as the XCW Hardcore Champion last week during the XCW Summer Supershow. But since he re-signed to TCW, he believes he's prime for a comeback!"
Johnny Bravo stood in the center of the ring and posed for the fans, who continued giving him a mixed reaction.
"Oh, please. This guy would rather spend his time chasing a model than chasing a title!" Shake said. "If he wants to prove that he's ready to fight in an XCW ring, he's gonna have to do a lot more than just pose in front of a mirror!"
Johnny stood in the center of the ring, looking up at the ramp in anticipation. . .
. . .until pyro went off on the stage. . .
. . .
. . .AND "NO MERCY" BY PHARAOH MONCHE PLAYED!
"Oh no. . ." Early foreboded, as Johnny backed up against a corner. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .AND CLAUDE SPEED WALKED ONTO THE STAGE, WITH HIS BARBED-WIRE 2x4 IN HAND!
"Uhhh….Johnny? I think you better run. . ." Shake said, before Plankton made the announcement.
"And their opponent. . .from Liberty City. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Television Champion of the World. . .'Liberty City's Lucifer'. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"
"Claude still doesn't look none too happy about the events that transpired during last week's XCW Summer Supershow, and quite frankly, I don't blame him! Claude about had his Toon Hardcore title match against Francis won, but the Rookie Revolution interfered, not to favor Francis per se, but more so just to screw Claude over, weeks before his fight against one of their Generals, Arthur Read, at Heatwave!"
Claude rested his barbed-wire 2x4 against a ring post. . .
"And his World Television title match against Arthur is a FIRST BLOOD match! Meaning the first man to bleed in the match loses!" Shake added. "But right now, Claude looks to be in the mood to spill blood, and he'd love nothing more than to spill the blood of the first man he sees in a wrestling ring—"
. . .AND RAN INTO THE RING, IMMEDIATELY TAKING DOWN JOHNNY WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS!
"—AND HERE WE GO!" Early interrupted, as the bell rang and the match began while Claude hammered away at Johnny's face with thunderous right and left hands! Claude then pulled Johnny up to his feet only to nail him in the face with a three-punch combination, then Irish whip him across the ring. Once Johnny bounced back, Claude took him down with a massive clothesline, then wrapped his hands around Johnny's neck, choking him!
"My God!" Shake exclaimed. "This is heinous!"
The referee stepped next to Claude and started a five-count, with Claude finally letting go of Johnny when the count reached four. Claude pulled Johnny back up to his feet and Irish whipped him over the ropes and down to the ringside floor with authority. Claude then stepped over the ropes and off the ring apron, then pulled Johnny up to his feet. . .only to Irish whip him into the steel steps, with Johnny colliding into them with a sickening thud! Claude then pulled Johnny back up. . .grabbed by the back of the head. . .
. . .AND SLAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE STEEL STEPS! Claude pulled Johnny back up. . .AND RAMMED HIS FACE INTO THE STEEL STEPS AGAIN. . .AND AGAIN. . .AND AGAIN. . .
"GOOD GRIEF!" Early screamed. "It's a bad time to be anywhere near the squared circle with Liberty City's Lucifer!"
"And a bad time to be Johnny Bravo!" added Shake, while Claude pulled up Johnny's face once more. . .
. . .AND NAILED HIM WITH A HEADBUTT! Claude then quickly lifted Johnny up. . .and slammed him chest-first onto the barricade with a forward suplex! Claude let go of Johnny, letting him crumble to the ringside floor as he backed up to a ring post. Johnny finally made it back to a standing position. . .until Claude ran toward him and took him down with a massive SPEAR! As the referee's count reached five, Claude pulled Johnny up by the hair. . .and RAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE RING APRON BEFORE CLOCKING HIS FACE AGAINST THE RING POST! Claude then slid Johnny back into the ring under the bottom rope, finally ending the referee's ten count. Claude followed Johnny back into the ring and Irish whipped him hard into the corner, then viciously rammed him in the chest with shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust until he fell into a seated position, upon which Claude trampled Johnny's prone body with swfit and powerful mudhole stomps!
"STOP! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!" Shake screamed. "JOHNNY'S PROBABLY DEAD!"
"This is NOT how he pictured his comeback to go at all. . ." Early said, while Claude stepped backward, screaming obscenities, practically ordering for Johnny to stand up. . .
. . .until Johnny finally reached his feet. . .
. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE A BICYCLE KICK FROM CLAUDE! Johnny fell to the mat, knocked out cold in the center of the ring! Claude then stepped over Johnny and went for a cover! 1. . .
2. . .
. . .3!
"And Claude Speed just DEMOLISHES Johnny!" Early said, while Claude rose up to his knees, seething with more anger after the bell rang!
"The winner of this match. . .CLAUDE SPEED!"
The referee raised Claude's arm in victory. . .only for Claude to shake the referee's grip off of him and roll out of the ring under the bottom rope!
"Claude won the match, and took some much-needed frustration out on his opponents here tonight. . ." Early said, ". . .but what's he gonna do here?"
Claude strode around the ring. . .until he picked up his barbed wire 2x4!
"Oh no. . ." foreboded Shake. "I have a feeling Claude's not through with unleashing his anger. . ."
Johnny stumbled up to his feet, still dazed from Claude's Bicycle Kick, while Claude slid back into the ring. . .
. . .AND NAILED JOHNNY IN THE FACE WITH THE BARBED-WIRE 2X4!
"OHHHH MY GOD! MY GOD!" Early cried, as the crowd popped into loud cheers! "MY GOD, CLAUDE JUST WELCOMED JOHNNY BRAVO TO XCW WITH A FACEFUL OF BARBED WIRE!"
"HE WON THE MATCH!" Shake shouted. "MY GOD CLAUDE, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"
Claude then ran against the ropes behind him. . .aimed the barbed-wire 2x4 down. . .
. . .AND DROPPED TO THE MAT, GRATING JOHNNY'S FACE WITH THE BARBED WIRE AGAIN, BUSTING HIM WIDE OPEN!
"JOHNNY'S FACE HAS BEEN LACERATED!" Early yelled. "AND CLAUDE RIGHT NOW LOOKS RELENTLESS!"
"THE REFEREE EVEN LEFT THE RING!" observed Shake. "HE RAN FOR HIS LIFE!"
With a hand still gripping Johnny's hair, Claude drug him up to his feet. . .
. . .BEFORE PRESSING THE BARBED-WIRE 2X4 INTO JOHNNY'S FACE AGAIN! The barbed-wire dug into Johnny's face while he screamed in agonizing pain. . .his own blood trickling down his face. . .
. . .UNTIL CLAUDE TOOK DOWN JOHNNY WITH A WHITE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP, WITH THE 2X4 AGAINST JOHNNY'S NECK! Claude rolled up to his feet, looking down at Johnny Bravo with an intense look on his face as he breathed heavily.
"Claude wasn't just out for a victory tonight, Shake. . ." Early said, ". . .he was out for blood, and by God, he'll be out for blood against Arthur this Sunday at Heatwave!"
Claude raised the barbed-wire 2x4 over his head to cheers from the crowd before stepping out of the ring over the second rope, leaving Johnny Bravo in a bloody mess.
"My God. . .he took out Johnny Bravo with authority tonight. . ." Shake said, ". . .I think it's safe to say that when Claude gets his hands on Arthur in his hometown of Liberty City. . .in the FIRST BLOOD match. . .Arthur will look just like Johnny Bravo. . .if not WORSE."
Claude strode up the ramp with a look of sadistic anger on his face until the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to D-Generation Ed with a microphone in hand.
"D-Generation Ed. . ." Carl said, ". . .later tonight, Eddy and Rolf take on the XCW Hardcore Champion, Kenny McCormick, and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions, Eric Cartman, but this Sunday, Ed and Double D will be fighting to reclaim the XCW Tag Team Championships in their Tables, Ladders and Chairs match for D-Generation Ed. Eddy, you are the leader of the stable, but you're sitting the match out! Why are you giving up a spot on the card for Heatwave in Liberty City?"
"Well, Carl. . ." Edd said, stepping forward. ". . .we argued long and hard over who would fight for the titles at Heatwave, and we each had our own cases for being in the match. But in the end, we agreed that it would be Ed and I representing our team, because Stan and Cartman fought us first, and at Heatwave, our rivalry with them will come full-circle, climaxing with us becoming the XCW Tag Team Champions once again!"
Eddy took the microphone from Carl's grip. "Sockhead's right! Besides, when I face Eric Cartman up next, I'll have beaten and bruised him so hard, that come Heatwave, he'll be f**ked up beyond any recognition!"
"Are you MAD, Eddy?" Edd said with wide eyes. "We're back to regular programming! You may have angered the network censors!"
"Can you blame me for getting the point across, Double D?" Eddy retorted. "I'm fired up! The South Park Four's done some pretty low things to us over the years, but discrediting us in front of Team 2D was the last straw! This Sunday, Ed and Double D are gonna put them BOTH through Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. . .but while they're training for the main event tonight, I'll be doing my part to ensure that the XCW Tag Team Championship returns to D-Generation Ed, by making sure that 'The Fatass' Eric Cartman doesn't MAKE it to Liberty City, and if they don't like that. . .then we've got TWO WORDS FOR 'EM. . ."
Eddy pointed to Ed, who looked into the camera with an oblivious stare.
"PEPPER GRAVY!"
Double D facepalmed while Eddy slid in front of the camera, giving it the DX crotch chop!
". . .SUCK IT!"
Eddy looked into the camera with a confident grin until the show went to a commercial break.
As the show returned from break, Plankton stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.
"The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall!"
"What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played all over the arena to boos from the crowd.
"Introducing first. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .they are the team of the XCW Hardcore Champion. . .and one half of the XCW Tag Team Champions. . ."The Extremist" Kenny McCormick. . .and "The Enforcer". . .ERIC CARTMAN!"
"Last week, these two men made their own history at the XCW Summer Supershow!" Early informed. "With his fellow XCW Tag Team Champion, 'The Enforcer' Eric Cartman took part in a dream match come to life against Team 2D, Tom and Jerry! It was a very competitive matchup Stan and Cartman tried to steal the victory with steel chairs while the referee was incapacitated! But right on cue came D-Generation Ed, and they saved the UWE Duos Champions, and cost the XCW Tag Team Champions a victory!"
Kenny and Cartman ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles, raising the belts toward the fans, who only booed back at them.
"But that wasn't the only incident the South Park Four found themselves involved in last week, Early!" Shake said. "Kenny McCormick was the XCW Hardcore Champion going into the XCW Summer Supershow, and he left the show as the XCW Hardcore Champion, but not before his title changed hands a record eighteen times, going to superstars such as Crash Bandicoot, Conker, Liu Kang, Riley Freeman, Slade, heck, even Sarge and Jessica Wilson! Amidst all the chaos, though, the South Park Extremist literally came out of nowhere to keep the title under XCW's proverbial roof! But he has one more challenger for his Hardcore title at Heatwave, in the form of. . ."
Kenny and Cartman looked up the ramp in anticipation until. . .
"IT'S ROLF! (It's Rolf!)"
". . .this man!"
. . .X-Pac's DX theme played to cheers from the crowd as Rolf stepped onto the stage!
"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .he is the Son of a Shepherd. . .ROLF!"
Rolf did the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off on the stage behind him in unison to it each time.
"Rolf has been a thorn in Kenny's side for the past couple months in the same way the Eds have to Stan and Cartman!" Early said. "The Son of a Shepherd and the South Park Extremist have ambushed each other time and time again for the XCW Hardcore title on a number of occasions since April!"
Rolf ran down the ramp and posed toward the fans once he got to the foot of the ramp.
"But everything between those two high-flyers will come to a head this Sunday, because Kenny McCormick will put the XCW Hardcore Championship on the line against Rolf in a Falls Count Anywhere match at Heatwave!" Shake added. "But I have a feeling these two would like nothing more than to get their hands on each other here tonight!"
"And I have a feeling that the final man in this match can't wait to get his piece of the South Park Four in this tag team match!" Early predicted while Rolf glared up at Kenny and Cartman until. . .
. . .
. . .
. . ."The Game" by Motorhead played!
Eddy walked onto the stage to cheers from the crowd, completely covered in the darkness of the stage, until green lights went up on it, revealing him to be holding a water bottle. Eddy then poured water over his head before looking up at the ring and walking down the ramp towards it.
"And his tag team partner. . .representing D-Generation Ed. . .from Peach Creek. . .EDDY!"
"Out of every man in D-Generation Ed, their leader, Eddy has certainly been the most vocal about the events of last week." Early said. "He's said to be angrier than ever before at the South Park Four for costing them their fight against Team 2D, and even after briefly brawling with the UWE Duos Champions during their match at the XCW Summer Supershow, he's said he won't rest until he gets a match with Tom and Jerry!"
Once Eddy made it to the foot of the ramp, he took a swig of water and walked to the front side of the ring, and climbed onto the ring apron.
"Well, he's getting a rest whether he likes it or not, because it'll be Ed and Double D fighting for the XCW Tag Team Championship in the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match against the Mario Brothers and Stan and Cartman!" informed Shake. "But D-Ed's leader is looking to get his own piece of "The Enforcer" Eric Cartman, here tonight—"
Eddy glared at the crowd from the ring apron before looking up at the lights and spitting a huge mist of water up into the air!
Eddy then looked down and let out an intense yell of excitement before spitting a smaller mist out, and entering the ring. . .
. . .ONLY TO RECEIVE A CLOTHESLINE FROM ERIC CARTMAN!
"-BUT CARTMAN WANTS A BIGGER PIECE OF EDDY!" Shake shouted, as Cartman and Kenny began to stomp a mudhole into Eddy's torso! Cartman pulled Eddy up only to sock him with an uppercut, then for Kenny to take him down with a drop toe hold! The referee tried to push Cartman and Kenny back toward their corner, but Cartman got in his face, shouting "RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!" at the top of his lungs. . .
. . .UNTIL ROLF TOOK BOTH CARTMAN AND KENNY DOWN WITH A DIVING CROSSBODY BLOCK!
"And D-Ed's Son of a Shepherd makes the save for his stable's leader!" Early shouted, as all four men laid in a crumbled heap near the bottom right corner, until the referee ordered both teams to move to their respective corners. Eddy rolled himself up to his feet while Rolf zipped back up to a standing position, reluctantly backing up toward their corner, while Cartman and Kenny pulled themselves up and re-gathered their bearings before stepping toward their corner, glaring and Eddy and Rolf back the entire way. Cartman stepped onto the ring apron over the second rope, while Rolf did the same at the opposite corner. Once the bell rang, the match started with Eddy facing off against Kenny.
"And NOW the match is officially underway, with Eddy squaring off against Kenny!" Early said before Eddy and Kenny charged toward each other, getting into a tie-up in the center of the ring. . .but Kenny leapt over Eddy, and took him down with a surprise neckbreaker! Kenny went for a quick cover 1. . .2. . .Eddy kicked out! Kenny pulled Eddy up by all three of his hairs. . .only for Eddy to surprise Kenny with a quick knee to the gut! With the South Park Extremist now in a headlock, Eddy took down Kenny with a hip toss, then wrenched on Kenny's neck with the headlock still in tact, slamming Kenny's face repeatedly into the mat! Eddy went for a quick cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Cartman broke up the three count! Eddy shot up to his knees from the cover, giving the South Park Enforcer a death glare, with Cartman glaring back as he stepped back to his corner. Eddy shook his head back into reality before looking down at Kenny. . .
. . .who surprised him with a slap to the face! Kenny then flipped up to a standing position and sent Eddy reeling backward with an uppercut, then Irish whipped him toward the ropes. . .only to send him flying with a Monkey Flip! Kenny then rolled back up and charged toward Eddy. . .but Eddy sent Kenny flying over the top rope and down to the ringside floor, right in front of the annoucner's table! Eddy then stepped onto the ring apron and onto the ringside floor, pulled Kenny up to his feet by his coat hood. . .
. . .ONLY FOR CARTMAN TO HAVE STEPPED OFF THE RING APRON AND SURPRISED EDDY WITH A RIGHT HAND!
"And the South Park Enforcer is enforcing a lot of hurt onto the leader of D-Generation Ed!" Early cried, as Cartman knocked Eddy down to his knees with another swift right hand, until the referee shouted at him from inside the ring, and even threatened to disqualify his team. Cartman sneered at the referee in response before reluctantly stepping back onto the ring apron and watching Kenny regain his bearings while standing back up. Kenny then pulled Eddy up to his feet before slapping him right across the face again. . .
. . .AND SLAMMING HIS FACE ONTO THE RING APRON! Kenny then pulled Eddy's head back up by the hair. . .AND SLAMMED HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO THE RING APRON AGAIN! As the referee's count reached five, Kenny shoved Eddy toward the steel steps and pulled his head back up to hover above the steel steps. . .
. . .but Eddy caught Kenny by surprise with an elbow to the sternum, then Irish whipped him chest first into the steel steps! Eddy then grabbed Kenny by the coat. . and rammed him chest-first into the ring apron! As Kenny cringed in pain, the referee's count reached seven. . .until Eddy slid Kenny back into the ring under the bottom rope, and slid in after him! Eddy then waited for Kenny to push himself up to his knees. . .and took him down with a hard high knee! Eddy pulled Kenny back into the center of the ring and went for a cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Kenny kicked out!
Eddy pulled Kenny back up and drug him into his corner before tagging in Rolf. Once Rolf leapt over all three ropes and entered the ring, Eddy Irish whipped Kenny into the opposing corner, then Irish whipped Rolf toward Kenny. . .
. . .WHO RECEIVED A BLIND TAG FROM CARTMAN! Cartman quickly entered the ring as Rolf reached the South Park Four's corner. . .only for Cartman to take him down with a Samoan Drop! Cartman then ran against the ropes behind him, and after the bounceback, successfully landed a leg drop onto Rolf! Cartman went for a cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!
"And the Enforcer of South Park has bailed his tag team partner out of a beating from his personal rival!" Early said.
"You got that right!" agreed Shake. "And in battles between a powerhouse like Cartman, and a cruiserweight like Rolf, the big man looks to keep the high-flyer grounded!"
Cartman pulled Rolf up to his feet and slapped him across the chest with a chop, with the crowd chanting "WOOOOO!" in unison with it. Cartman continued to nail Rolf with chop after chop until he was backed up into a corner. Cartman then began to stomp a mudhole into Rolf's torso, and continued to wail away on his body as he fell into a seated position! With Rolf down now, Cartman then backed up to the center of the ring. . .charged toward Rolf's corner. . .
. . .but Rolf caught the South Park Enforcer off-guard with a kick to the chin in desperation! As Cartman reeled around the ring, with his back to the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf pulled himself up with a rope next to him and ran toward Cartman. . .who caught him and took him down with a Sidewalk Slam!
"Rolf thought he could gain the advantage, but Cartman saw him coming!" Early said before Cartman went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Rolf kicked out!
"But Rolf STILL won't go down!" Shake exclaimed, as Cartman rolled off the cover and glared at Rolf in frustration. Cartman then grabbed Rolf by the hair and pulled him toward another corner, then rammed him face-first onto the top turnbuckle one time. . .then a second time. . .then a THIRD TIME. . .
"The fatter half of the XCW Tag Team Champions wants to render Rolf useless!" Early observed, as Cartman rammed Rolf's face into the top turnbuckle for a SIXTH TIME!
"Good grief!" Shake cringed. "At this rate, Rolf won't even MAKE IT to Heatwave!"
After pulling Rolf out of the corner, Cartman Irish whipped Rolf into the South Park Four's corner, then grasped onto Rolf's hair before tagging in Kenny. Kenny then leapt onto the top rope while Cartman lifted Rolf up. . .and sat him on his shoulders in an electric chair!
"Kenny and Cartman are about to demonstrate a little teamwork!" Early called as Kenny leapt off the top rope. . .
. . .AND TOOK ROLF DOWN WITH A SPEAR, SENDING ROLF OFF CARTMAN'S SHOULDERS AND DOWN TO THE MAT! Upon making impact with the mat, Kenny rolled onto Rolf for the cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT! Kenny couldn't believe it!
"Rolf's been through all kinds of punishment in this match, but he's so resilient!" Early said.
"My God!" Shake cried. "At this rate, Kenny might not want to wait till this Sunday to beat Rolf's brains out with a weapon! What does he have to do to put Rolf away?"
Kenny grabbed Rolf by the hair and pulled him up to his feet before slugging him in the chest with a throat thrust. Kenny then ran against the ropes and upon reaching Rolf, took him down with a Spinning Arm Drag! Kenny then taunted for Rolf to stand up, while the Son of a Shepherd reached for a rope in front of him, and pulled himself up to a standing position. Rolf then turned around to face Kenny, who leapt up for a Hurricanrana. . .
. . .BUT ROLF CAUGHT KENNY IN TIME AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Rolf went for a quick cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.5 KENNY KICKED OUT!
"But with a perfectly timed counter, Rolf found an opening, and may have put himself into this match!" Early said, as Rolf pulled Kenny up by the coat and hit him in the face with a series of swift punches, then a back elbow smash right to the face, which sent Kenny reeling backwards. As Kenny stepped forward in a daze, Rolf draped his arm over his back. . .and took him down with a quick Snap Suplex! Rolf went for the cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.75 KENNY KICKED OUT! Rolf punched the mat in frustration before pulling Kenny back up by the hood of his coat. . .until Kenny kicked him in the shin by surprise, then took him down with a neckbreaker! Kenny rolled onto his chest and slowly pushed himself up to his feet and ran against the ropes. . .somersaulted on the mat. . .and successfully landed Rolling Thunder onto Rolf's torso! Kenny then went for another cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.99 ROLF KICKED OUT! Kenny couldn't believe it!
"These two are going back and forth on each other, and even with Rolling Thunder, Rolf STILL won't go down!" Early said, while Rolf and Kenny slowly rolled up to their feet and met in the center of the ring, each of them trading right hands, with the crowd cheering "YAY!" in unison with Rolf's punches, and "BOO!" in unison with Kenny's punches. They continued trading right hands until Rolf managed to duck one punch, and knock Kenny back with a spinning wheel kick! Kenny bounced off the ropes behind him and stumbled toward Rolf. . .who took him down with a Jumping Tornado DDT! Rolf went for the cover, 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.99 KENNY KICKED OUT! Rolf rolled off Kenny, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to regain his bearings. . .while Eddy and Cartman each extended their hands out from their corners, begging for a tag!
"The two cruiserweights on these respective teams have beaten the hell out of each other just days before their Falls Count Anywhere match for the XCW Hardcore Championship at Heatwave!" Early said, "And now the Leader of D-Ed, and the South Park Enforcer are ready and waiting to make the last move, and gain momentum for their respective teams before this Sunday!"
"The rivalry these teams have for each other has bled into two divisions here in XCW!" supported Shake, while Eddy jumped up and down at his corner, practically begging for a tag! "And Eddy's just DYING to get his last word in before Ed and Double D do the fighting at Heatwave!"
Rolf and Kenny inched closer and closer toward their respective corners. . .
. . .extended their arms out. . .
. . .and successfully made the tags to Eddy and Cartman! Eddy and Cartman stepped into the ring from their respective corners and charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring, immediately trading right hands! Their brawl continued Cartman catching Eddy by surprise with a throat thrust, then a vicious clothesline that brought the D-Ed leader down! Cartman then pulled Eddy up by the hair. . .only for Eddy to surprise him with an elbow to the sternum before taking him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! Eddy then stomped on Cartman's chest a few times and followed it up with a falling elbow before going for a cover! 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.5 CARTMAN KICKED OUT! Eddy quickly pulled the South Park Enforcer up to his feet. . .only for Cartman to drive Eddy against the ropes with a tackle, then Irish whip him HARD across the ring. After Eddy bounced back, Cartman took him down with a massive back elbow that sent Eddy reeling. . .back into a belly-to-belly suplex! Cartman went for a quick cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.5 EDDY KICKED OUT! Cartman shouted an obscenity before pulling Eddy back up to his feet and shoved him into the corner, ramming him with vicious shoulder thrust after shoulder thrust before pulling him out of the corner in a Full Nelson hold. . .and slamming him down with a Full Nelson Slam! Cartman went for another cover, 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.75 EDDY KICKED OUT! Cartman sat up from the cover, grimacing in frustration.
"South Park's Big Boy's keeping Eddy from getting ANYTHING in!" Shake said. "But man, he looks angry!"
"He sure does, Shake!" agreed Early. "But he won't be satisfied until D-Ed's leader is incapacitated, and with his next move, he may flatten him like a pancake!"
Cartman stepped back up to his feet, running against the ropes behind him. . .
. . .leapt for the Big Boy Splash. . .
. . .BUT EDDY ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY, CAUSING CARTMAN TO HIT THE CANVAS!
"NO! Eddy still has signs of life!" Early called, as Cartman let out a scream of pain while Eddy pushed himself up to a standing position. Once up, Eddy grabbed Cartman by the chin and nailed him in the face with a right hand before Irish whipping him across the ring. . .and nailed him with an Inverted Atomic Drop! Cartman stumbled around the ring in a daze before reeling toward Eddy. . .
. . .who planted him with an AA Spinebuster! Eddy went for the cover 1. . .
2. . .
. . .2.75 CARTMAN KICKED OUT!
Eddy stood up from the cover with a confident smirk on his face as he came around to the front of Cartman, taunting him to get up while the South Park Enforcer staggered up to his feet. . .while Kenny stepped onto the ringside floor from his corner!
"Eddy's looking to put the final dagger into Eric Cartman, and give D-Ed one final burst of momentum before Heatwave!" Early said, as Eddy kicked Cartman into the midsection. . .
. . .while Kenny pulled Rolf off the ring apron and clocked him in the face with a right hand!
"Wait a minute! But Kenny McCormick is attacking Rolf with his back turned!" Shake shouted before Kenny shoved Rolf against the steps, grabbed him by the hair. . .and slammed him face-first into the ring post, prompting the referee to leave the ring and try to break up the fight!
Meanwhile, in the ring, Eddy rested Cartman's head between his legs for the Edigree. . .
. . .BUT CARTMAN SLIPPED OUT OF IT AND GAVE EDDY A LOW BLOW!
"NOOO!" Early shouted. "Cartman nailed him in the jewels while the referee had his back turned!"
"Well, Eddy's getting his final word in after all, Early!" Shake said. "And it's 'OWWWW!'"
While the referee managed to pull Kenny and Rolf apart on the ringside floor, Cartman then pulled Eddy back up by all three of his hairs, flipped him the bird. . .
. . .kicked him in the midsection. . .
. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE SOUTH PARK STUNNER!
"DAMN IT!" Early shouted, as the referee slid back into the ring while Cartman went for the cover! 1. . .
2. . .
. . .3!
"The South Park Four have stolen another one!" Early yelled after the bell rang!
"The winners of this match. . .the team of KENNY MCCORMICK AND ERIC CARTMAN!"
"The South Park Four just CAN'T play fair, not when it comes to D-Generation Ed!" Early said in disgust. "And with Tables, Ladders and Chairs on the horizon, I shudder to think about what these two stables are going to do to each other!"
The referee raised Cartman's chubby arm in victory, only for Cartman to snap his arm out of his grasp and shout "KENNY! THROW ME THE CHAIR!"
"I have a feeling that we're going to get a sneak preview, Early! Look!" Shake called while Kenny threw a steel chair into the ring above the ropes, with Cartman catching it as Kenny slid into the ring with a steel chair of his own!
"It does not look good for the D-Ed leader! Somebody stop this!" Early exclaimed, while Eddy staggered up to his knees.
"His partners-in-crime are training for the main event right now, Early!" Shake shouted. "They have no idea what's happening!"
Cartman and Kenny then raised their chairs high above their heads. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .AND WERE TAKEN DOWN BY A LADDER SHOT FROM ROLF!
"BUT RIGHT ON CUE COMES THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!" Early screamed as Rolf threw down the ladder and picked up a chair on the mat!
"Rolf slid into the ring from behind to make the save for his tag team partner!" Shake said, as Rolf raised the steel chair high. . .
. . .AND NAILED KENNY IN THE FACE WITH IT! Rolf then turned to face Cartman and nailed him in the ribs with the chair before dropping it. Rolf then put Cartman in a headlock and went for a Tornado DDT on the chair. . .
. . .BUT KENNY GRABBED ROLF FROM BEHIND AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A BACK STABBER!
"Rolf saved Eddy from certain doom, but got a Back Stabber from the XCW Hardcore Champion for his troubles!" Early said, while Cartman slowly regained his bearings…
. . .UNTIL EDDY KICKED CARTMAN IN THE MIDSECTION AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH AN EDIGREE ON THE STEEL CHAIR!
"AND EDDY FINALLY TAKES CARTMAN DOWN WITH THE EDIGREE!" Early screamed as Eddy ran toward Kenny. . .but Kenny slid out of the ring before he could get to him, pulling Cartman out with him by the feet!
"The South Park Four may have stolen yet another victory tonight, but Rolf made the save for the D-Ed Leader, and Eddy got the last word before Rolf takes on Kenny for the XCW Hardcore Championship in a Falls Count Anywhere match while Ed and Double D take on Cartman and Stan for the Tag Team titles this Sunday!"
Eddy helped Rolf up to his feet and glared down at Kenny and Cartman, who was still dazed, but with Kenny, glared back at them as they stepped up the ramp.
"You're absolutely right, Early! But it's going to be an all-out war as D-Generation Ed and the Mario Brothers look to take the XCW Tag Team Championship from the South Park Four in their Tables, Ladders and Chairs match at Heatwave!" Shake said.
"It will be one of seven wars in the extreme summer-themed pay-per-view at Liberty City, Shake!" Early added before the show went to the backstage area, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood next to Spongebob Squarepants with a microphone in hand.
"Spongebob Squarepants," Carl asked, "Tonight, you're involved in a huge six-man tag team match main event, but last week, at the XCW Summer Supershow, your old rival from UWE, Scorpion, answered your open challenge and defeated you. . .yet again. How do you feel about the events of last week, and-"
"Let me stop you right there, Carl." Spongebob said, with a scowl on his face. "Scorpion DIDN'T beat me. He didn't even come close to it, whatsoever. If it wasn't for Tommy Vercetti sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. . .in MY BUSINESS, I would've FINALLY defeated that damn Kombatant. But, Tommy. . .I know why you did it. I know why you cost me the victory against Scorpion, and I know why you killed WWT.
You did it all because. . .you're jealous of me. You're jealous of my success in this industry because you know you'll never achieve it. You won't win a Royal Rumble in your rookie year, you won't win a Superstar of the Year award, and you won't become a multiple-time World Heavyweight Champion, hell, you won't even SNIFF a World title belt, YOU WON'T EVEN WIN ANOTHER MATCH! And you definitely won't win your match against me this Sunday. You'll be calling yourself the Harwood Butcher, and the man who puts the X in XCW before our referee signals that our Street Fight has begun in front of the Algonquin Cluckin' Bell this Sunday, but when we've made it to the arena, and when your drinking buddies and former one night stands see you looking up at the lights in a bloody pulp at the center of a ring with barbed-wire ropes. . .the last thing you see before you drift into unconsciousness will be the face of the NEW extreme face of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling."
Spongebob shoved the microphone back against Carl's chest before storming off. Carl put the microphone up to his mouth. . .
. . .UNAWARE THAT GARFIELD HAD STORMED THROUGH THE DOORS BEHIND HIM!
"Coming up after the commercial break, you will hear—" Carl said,
. . .BEFORE GARFIELD GRABBED HIM BY THE HEAD AND SHOVED HIM AGAINST THE WALL NEXT TO HIM!
"OH MY GOD!" Early cried. "The Monster Garfield has arrived, and sure enough. . .HE'S ANGRY!"
Garfield then pulled Carl back up to his feet before grabbing him by the throat. . .
. . .AND CHOKESLAMMING HIM ON THE LINOLEUM FLOOR!
"GOOD GRIEF!" Shake shouted. "That's the second backstage announcer he's taken out in four months!"
Garfield went to stomp on Carl's prone body. . .until TEN security guards came into the interview area and held Garfield back. . .
. . .but to no avail, as Garfield threw three of them over his head, with two of them hitting the wall in front of him, while the third went through a snack machine! Yet more and more security guards filed into the room, each of them attempting to hold Garfield back while Jon Arbuckle stepped into the room, his eyes wide and mouth agape in disbelief!
"THERE YOU ARE, ARBUCKLE!" shouted a security guard. "DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR CAT!"
Arbuckle just watched as Garfield threw three more security guards onto the linoleum floor!
"I. . .I can't."
Garfield then stomped on one prone security guard on the floor while grabbing another one. . .
. . .AND CHOKESLAMMED HIM ONTO THE FLOOR! More security guards and even XCW WRESTLERS ran into the fight and began hitting Garfield with a flurry of punches. . .but Garfield shoved them all down! The Monster then looked forward. . .AT THE CAMERAMAN!
"OH MY GOD!" Early cried. "Garfield is LITERALLY OUT OF CONTROL!"
"TIEING WITH CHAOS THE HEDGEHOG LAST WEEK HAD A BIGGER EFFECT ON HIM THAN WE ALL THOUGHT! THERE'S NOTHING ARBUCKLE CAN DO!" Shake yelled as Garfield strode toward the cameraman, while he backed up to a corner in the room!
"Tai said earlier tonight that he's ready for Garfield. . ." Early said, as the cameraman slouched down, pointing the camera up at Garfield for mercy! ". . .but I don't know if he's ready for THIS!"
Garfield stared into the camera, seething and foaming at the mouth with anger at the audience. . .BEFORE GRABBING THE CAMERAMAN BY THE THROAT. . .LIFTING HIM UP. . .
. . .causing the cameraman to drop the camera, which broke on impact upon hitting the floor!
Static engulfed the image until the show abruptly went immediately to a commercial break.
Alrighty, there's part one for now. As always, let me know if something didn't make any sense, or if anyone was out of character. Part two will come soon, until then, please READ AND REVIEW!
